hi yuhchyng,

yes im trying my best to practice this kind of patience....hb comes home everyday showing gloomy n black face. i think after awhile....anyone facing this will get sick and tired of looking at it. I think most women would hv already pack up and leave based on what he is doing.....to tell you the truth, I don't admire his actions at all right now....especially the gloomy face everyday. and almost everyday, he will "tegur" me something petty that I hv not done right. Most of the time nowadays I keep quite as I try hard to ignore or not take it into heart and I know he's doing it just to pick on me or for whatever reasons he have in his mind. I do feel the coldness from him and at time like i said...i feel abandoned. Bt I believe in d support I'm getting from family and friends.

Being patient can be very difficult but i perservere. I dun really understand mandarin fully...bt I will try to go to d webpage you hv given.

I'm trying to go on with my life day to day. No one knows what goes on or how I'm being treated behing closed door away from other eyes, parents and siblings. There are days when you feel so low after being treated in a way you don't even deserved, you just feel like letting go and there are days when you feel slightly better, you can cope with whatever crap he gives.

At the moment, i'm leaving my life according to this: (Sorry borrow this from Stpeiyee)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

My patience level is stretching to the max and I'm amazed at how patient I can be in this situation and no matter how crappy I've been treated, I still try to be kind to him....denote the words "still try". It's hard bt I do it. Whenever he tries to provoke me to be angry in petty stuff even show displeasure in little minor things....I learned not to be angered....instead ignore it...cos it's too petty in my eyes.....it's really petty stuff, trust me. I take it that he just doesn't know how to vent out his anger dats all....and i'm the easiest target there. So I keep quite and let it pass. Again, why i guess me and jaskin is sitll in d marriage becos, we always hope there will be a rainbow at the end and we both want to perservere....

hi farfaraway....my hb did not get close to a younger woman....it's a much much much older woman....

jaskin....u know im in d exact same boat as u....even d excuses given d same!! i can't believe this! He complains i dunno how to take care of household, our vision not in sync (yes same excuse given by my hubby) etc... and yes he seeks solace from this woman and she gives him advice. and yes my hubby and this woman are colleagues *blink*blink*blink*....some similarities here...i wonder if it's the same woman....
he also comes home not talking...show black face and then just sit awhile and go to sleep......
im also at lost.....it's been 5 months nw and things for me also not yet settle. i asked d same question dat u asked....sh i fight my marriage....and how to fight when he shows that he doesn't love you anymore..
me, i also want to let go but it's so hard to juz do that too....
people who hv not gone tru what we have will always advice us to let go....bt they can never understand why we dun want to give up....

hi celenaO yes can u give me some info n guide? Thanx!

where do u get the materials to do the bears? it's pretty hard to get such materials here in Malaysia...i would love to learn to make one...

any way we can take out what she has posted here alltogether?

joey's been busy...back to hometown bt sh be back in kl today. kept in touch with her last nite thru sms.

*high five* shiauling!

ya let's care and give attention to joey. joey's a nice person. i met and know her personally. even talk to her on d phone sometimes to ask for her opinion. we all understand her predicament. let's focus on her. gambate joey!!!

agree with mhyap1, maybe we should all ignore this "crazy woman" who's playing with fire.......

and please.....can we all not "kutuk" about religion....let's leave this part out. take that "discussion" elsewhere....maybe over your instant messengers. tq!

cygnus_lyra! enough said and spoken. go to a men's forum then! talk about mentality!

i think we should all move on! most of us think that the support should be given to our dear joey. period. case close!

well said safron.

u see, cygnus_lyra may not understand joey's predicament as you see, she herself do not come from the same background as joey.....i must say that cygnus has pretty much lead a comfortable life....travelling here and there overseas....a bit of a boasting there, i must say.....

like farfaraway said can we all agree to disagree and move on. i think in this particular thread it's not about playing devil's advocate....it's about providing support. maybe this thread is not suitable for cygnus_lyra. she should move on to another thread...maybe create one of her own....and we can play d devil's advocate there.

btw, cygnus_lara, if you're uncomfortable about reading this forum....i suggest you don't read at all!

what joeyjoe wants know from all us us here is some comfort and support which she is not able to get anywhere else. and more so, she wants to someone to talk to. when a person goes throught a hardtime...she sometimes need a friend to just listen to...not someone to criticise. not everyone is lucky to lead a full happy life. i suggest you wake up to reality and not see everything through rose-tinted glasses.

to cygnus_lara, everyone here in the forum has the right to post anything they want about their feelings. to me, joey joe is not airing her dirty laundry. hey it's a forum...that's what forum's are for...to discuss a particular topic and see how others may help. yes you have been married for many years and with kids. you are saying that joeyjoe is naive and saying that when you marry your hb, you marry his family....i think this is old fashioned thinking. yes, hb's family may be important bt it takes both parties and both sides to ensure that the relationship between d in laws and their daugther in laws work well! and yes i see this forum as a way for joey joy to voice out her concern and unhappiness.
come on, don't tell me that you don't even face the slightest problems with any one of your in laws, be it parents in laws, sister in laws, brother in laws etc. and complaint about it to someone. probably back then, complaints (or airing your dirty laundry as you say it) was only done among your colleagues, neighbours, relatives etc. but hey, we younger generation are much more techno savvy hence we voiced out our problems to strangers in the forum. i think it's sometimes better to talk to strangers than to someone you know.....

Does anyone have this song "Angel Eyes" by the group Wet Wet Wet? It's slightly an old song. If anyone have it can let me know? I'm looking for it.

Thankx!

you are right meiteoh.

i would rather my frens tell me if the even saw my hb holding hands with another girl....painful as it is, it's better to know than not to know.

hi there sooky, been in your situation and still in d situation. it pisses me off very much cos this lady fren of his is married with 2 big kids in tow. they see each other in office everyday and yet still there's a need for him to call and sms her all the time.....even his phone bills sky rocketed and 3/4 of the phone bills page is covered with her number. before this she used to call him also like late at nite, when both of us are ready to sleep, then d phone will ring at it's her. it's really irritating. he insist there's nothing between them u know....bt hmm, i dunno. we had a huge argument that it's gotten so bad until today. again i was told that he "needs" to confide in other lady cos me and him dun think alike any longer, me and him can't communicate any longer, me and him have nothing in common any longer. he refuse to speak to me like he used to becos simply, there's nothing to talk to me anymore. he scolds and picks on me all the time even on little stuff.

sigh, now im at the numb stage. i bo chap already with his attitude! i dun care....

deepest condolences to you....take care of your wife. give her lots of hugs and kisses rite now.

hi fluene, ya the book is expensive....and it's so small....bt nvr mind...i'll add it into my collection of books....my fren has d dvd...i want to see if i can pinjam..

i'm reading The Secret now...it's basically teaching you to channel positive thoughts in your everyday life....quite insightful reading...not the usual books that i have read. i hv a fren who read it and use the techniques thought....erm she said it sort of works. i hv not try it tho.....anyone have?

anyone read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne?