Definition of a good wife, Can someone tell me? Options

[smurfette]

So what's a definition of a good wife? After awhile, the husbands complaint that wife is not good when he's having affair...or when they are in a marriage too long. So what's a good wife? Can someone tell me?

[Mish]

The Salisbury Times, December 18, 1960.
1. The good wife, grown-up enough to give as well as to receive, has the capacity to provide her husband with emotional support when needed.
2, To be able to give her husband emotional support, the good wife develops her own potentialities as a human being. Retaining her individuality and independence. Thus, she fulfills herself as a person and still pulls her oar as a wife. At the same time, she grows along with her husband, expanding her horizons with his and broadening her interests as he moves ahead. She is able to keep pace with him, adjusting to the many and various changes and emotional cycles in their love.
3. Her expectations of what her husband can do are realistic.
4. The good wife shares her husband’s goals, fitting them to her own. In attaining these objectives, she shares responsibilities as well as pleasures and problems.
5. Through the warmth of her affection, the good wife helps keep their love alive. She sends him off with a kiss in the morning and greets him as fondly when he returns.
6. The good wife has a deep, abiding, confident faith in the man she has married. She wants others to respect him as she does. In a group conversation, she permits him to take the lead and shouldn’t interrupt him constantly or spoil his joke - She avoids criticizing him in public.
7. While she enjoys her husband’s companionship, the good wife doesn’t become too dependent on it. Respecting his need for occasional privacy. She knows she doesn’t have to be in her husband’s corner every moment of his free time.
8. Social scientists agree that emancipation from parental domination is essential to harmony in marriage. The good wife doesn’t run off to mother every time she’s up against a situation she can’t handle. No longer their “little girl,” she has assumed the full stature of a wife.
9. Considering homemaking her profession, she enjoys being a capable household manager, even if she has an outside job, too. Home should be more than a place for her husband to hang his hat — he should find pleasure in returning to it each day. She makes every effort to keep their home reasonably cheerful, a restful haven. Meals are enticing in variety.
10. Conflicts are normal in marriage, and the astute wife doesn’t let tensions pile up; she works them out as they come along. Above all, she must be able to communicate her feelings and respect her husband’s, though they may differ. She tries to find out what’s “eating” her mate, concedes that his viewpoint may be reasonable and opens the way to discussion and compromise. When she knows the “sore spots” in his personality, she avoids the temptation to strike at them. If she has a grievance herself, she tries to choose the right time and place to air it, limiting her arguments to relevant facts. Above all, she retains her sense of humour and sense of proportion.
11. Having children is a joint goal, an expression of a couple’s affection for each other. Generally, the woman today takes a dominant role when the children are young, but the good wife doesn’t shut out her husband or lessen her devotion to him. She divides her love between him and the children.

[smurfette]

hmm, tho it;s a bit too long ago...some may still be applicable..but i guess that's what our in laws would like their DILs to do as they come from that era.....

[fluene]

The good wife : someone who never nags, capable of cooking a meal out of nothing, never spend the husband's money, obeys the husband no matter how ridiculous the request is, has the face of an angel, body of a devil, has the ability to disappear into the thin air or appeared at once with the click of the husband's fingers, a 24 hour maid and prostitute, agrees to whatever the husband say or do, etc


That's the good wife in men's mind.

Conclusion : If a man strays, he can come out with 1001 excuses no matter whether the wife is a saint or a devil.

[smurfette]

hi fluene you're so rite on d last sentence about d strayed man coming up with 1001 excuses

[smurfette]

isnt there any male forumers dat can give their point of view on this?

[chongsw]

isnt there any male forumers dat can give their point of view on this?

It is my point of view and it doesn't represent men's point of view.

Frankly speaking, I don't know what makes a good wife. There are 3 parties in a relationship. You, me and the "relationship". When 2 people get together, the 3rd party called "relationship" exists. This "relationship" needs tender, loving and care. It needs you and me to "invest" in it. Every relationship is different and hence I don't have any definition for being a good wife or a good husband.

I come from a broken family. My father cheated my mum. He had an affair. My younger sisters and me suffered badly during our teenage years. If not because of my mother, we would not be here today.

I don't want to have this type of family. I swear that I'll do my part to love my wife whole-heartedly and she loves me with all her heart.

[smurfette]

thank you chongsw for your thoughts!