I saw her kissing my FH! Options

[BunnyAngel]

I will make this as short as possible. We went out to a club with FH's usual close gang of 7 ppl, 3 of which r girls, including me. All of us had a lot of drinks, we were celebrating one of d guy's birthday. I excused myself n went to the washroom.

Here's what i saw:
My FH's back was facing me(he cudnt c me), i saw our girlfriend was talking to FH, and then very fast she poured herself at my FH and kissed FH on his lips. They were just 5 feet away from me. I saw my FH pushing her right away, n went into d washroom cubicle. That's when our so-called gurlfriend saw me, she was a bit shocked+surprised i guess. She acted like nothing, walked towards me, kissed me on my left cheek and returned to the gang. I was shocked, i kept my cool thru d nite.

My FH didnt know i witnessed d whole incident so i kept quiet. After a week, i really couldn't swallow d whole thing, so i told my FH. He explained that she was drunk, he didnt want to upset me, and he apologized. I believed him, i REALLY do. I was so angry, and im STILL holding grudge against THAT gurl.

WHY? She is supposed to be the one of the gang. What she did makes me feel like she betrayed the trust i have in her. Okay, d influence of alchohol, but that doesn't mean she can go pouring herself and her half-exposed breasts all over my FH. P/S: Mind u, she's a GREAT drinker, so there's no way she was drunk. She didn't say sorry to me. We never talked about it, we still hang out together when we club. But deep inside, whenever i see her, i feel like i wanna puke. Tell me i'm over-reacting?? I think i was very 'daifong' at the time of d drama, i didnt make a scene or anything. Deep inside, i so wanna slap that b***h (pardon me)!

[allyson]

Hi BunnyAngel...

You have two choice now:-
1) Be dai fong and forget abt it. You r lucky that your FH did not want to kiss the girl.... If he is not interested, there is nothing u should worry... If i were you that night, i would have given my FH "extra special" TLC for rejecting the girl.... What happen if they lip locked for 5 mins?? That would be bad.
Take it as the girl have to swallow bitter lemon... (you should "pity" her instead, that a man rejected her despite her pouring on to him, i take it as she dress real sexy that nite... )

2) Clear the air with the girl. Think whether is she a real fren you wanna keep, or just someone you pass by at this moment in your life.... If she has been a good fren and this has been one instance she did this (provided she has not been hitting on your FH and he keeps quiet abt it) - take is as a drunk person act.. God knows what i did when i get drunk.... . If she is not someone you want to keep, just say hi and bye... keep remember your FH have the good taste of rejecting her for u... No way is she better than u in his eyes.... I guarantee that thought will bring smile to your face....

Your problem is with that girl "fren" rather than with FH.... It is typical for women to hold grudges.. at least you have a justification for it.. But holding grudge is not healthy in a relationship coz in any dealing she has with your FH, you will feel that nagging feeling, she will do something and FH may one day take the bait....

Better be going on your life with FH happy....

[Kathie]

When I read this, there are 2 situation come across my mind:
1) I feel proud tat ur FH push the gal away. this show tat he is not interested at all to her, or not trying to take advantage to any of the gal who "willingly" to hard sell themselve. It shows that he really love u.
2) U r too kind to her d! I will never talk or go out with her if I was u. MB Im so "siu hei" & not "dai fong" enuf. But, excuse me, this is ME!

[aishiteru]

bunnyangel,

hehe u can go and said TQ to her....
"thanks alot! i love him very much... i always thought he is such a sweetheart but now again it's proven he is,
dont worry I dont mind it at all after all i know my hb taste very well"

[BunnyAngel]

Dear Allyson and Kathie,

Thanks so much for replying. I've been keeping this 'drama' to myself and it frustrates me. For ur info, i just moved back to my hometown for good after a 1 1/2 yr LDR with my FH. I gave up my blooming career and settled for a smaller post with only 1/2 of my previous paycheck. Im currently staying with my FH and my future PIL. My FH's house is under reno, we will be moving in ard Sept.

I do not have any friends here, my besties r an ocean apart from me. So on weekends, whenever FH has niteouts with his same gang (including THAT gurl), he always brings me along. Basically EVERYONE in d gang knows that me+FH = angin also cannot blow us apart, haha. Im NOT close to the gurl, i only see her when we hangout on Fri/Sat nites. My FH is a dumbo, he's very naive, even when sum gurls r all over him, he'd think they're just being playful or they're drunk or sumthing. I know he loves me a lot, he knows he's dumb when it comes to relationships, he even told me many times to remind/tell him straight in the face if he did anything wrong, or if he'd hurted me in any ways. He sumtimes make careless mistakes, but he would apologized and learnt from it.

That gurl's way of dressing is always overexposed-sexy, if u get wat i mean. I think a normal guy wud not mind lip-locking with such gurl pouring all over them. I wasn't angry at my FH, but i sumhow was deeply frustrated. I would think that if my FH was singmuk enough, he wud have avoided that drama. Im not going to talk about it with d gurl, just let d past b psat. It's Fri, tonight we're going out. i hope i won't be posting another drama here tmr!!

By d way, any of you encountered chics who hard-sell themselves to ur FH? I wonder how you gurls react to that. I had a friend who approached the chic, and 'tan pai' with her. "Hey, what's up with you, cheap thing?......" LOL, i dun think i wud ever do that. I normally kept my cool and act daifong. LOL.

[BunnyAngel]

bunnyangel,

hehe u can go and said TQ to her....
"thanks alot! i love him very much... i always thought he is such a sweetheart but now again it's proven he is,
dont worry I dont mind it at all after all i know my hb taste very well"

Aishiteru,
LOL.... What about this... "Im so sorry that your more-than-half-exposed D-cups didn't work. Try harder next time."

[Kathie]

I dun hv such high EQ likes u. I will show off my face straight away if I meet those "cheap gal" who given me hard feeling! Tat's wat I did so to his EX. A really cheap woman I have ever experienced!

[kjoanne79]

Hi, Look at your statement, recalled my memory about these situation happen last 2 years ago.. We hang out to karaok after friend's wedding dinner.. at that night lots of friends got drunk, included my BF too..

I saw his best friend's GF kiss my BF infront the big screen, eventhought that room was big but infront of screen sure everyone saw it.. feel shook and sad about that girl (her BF not around)..

My boyfriend really drunk.. he can remember what happen and how his reached home.. and i told him about that but he really can recalled.. since that night, i felt i cant stand that girl eventhough we hang out..

[cathlsy]

Bunnyangel, if i'm in your shoe, i will not be daifong. I will confront the girl and tell her off her face that it is not ok whatever she did to my FH and that she owes me an apology.

If you say nothing & act cool she'll think you're ok with it and do not mind her kissing your FH. What if she does it again?

[allyson]

Dear BunnieAngel...

Your FH is still very seng muk if he can still tell you to warn him abt impending danger from other girls... Focus on making you and him happy.....

Me EQ also not that high... Also encounter a one particular hard seller... This is wat i did to the hard seller during a fren's wedding.. she and i was both there.. When she walk pass my table.. I gave her that " Dun mess with me, U dun have the quali to do so" look... The next time she walk pass i leaned to FH and kiss him and gave him a touch that turn him on.... Then look up and give her that, "Gotcha".... Her eye went big man that time... Honestly, I am not a nice person to mess around with....

For Hard seller there can only be one thing to do, prove to her, your man wants u and not her.... let her suck lemon again... You are lucky you have a very good FH who wants only u....

All i can say to Kathie is WAY TO GO girl!!! Ex-s may be human, but in my eyes those that dun know the meaning "it is over" deserve a tight slap.....

Wah she D cups ah?? fake or real ah? I bet it is push up only...

[Piggiemily]

BunnieAngel, your bless with a good hubby! I love how Aishiiteru would have reacted....! Its really girl power!

If I were in your shoes... i would probably do the same to act "dai fong" and be patient until i meletup! I really cant stand the pinch on my heart each time i see the girl or recall the incident... feel like stabbing her with a knife... sorry ah... a bit violent ere... haha (jealousy mar... keke)! I guess I would tell her off few days after the incident without my hubby being around and try my ever best to be mature and diplomatic. I hope she will have no face to join the gang whenever Hubby and myself will be coming. Even she show her face she won't enjoy it. ahha!

[bumblebee]

Dear bunnyangel

first of all, bravo for being able to stay composed at the scene. i'm pretty sure it'll eat your friend with guilt esp when she knows u know.

That's really crossing the boundary if you ask me. has she displayed any signs of affection towards your hubby or jealousy towards you? but seeing that ur hubby pushed her away.. tt's a really good sign

[aishiteru]

hehe i can say that now... but when it's really happened to me I might acted the other way...

In my own opinion.....
but then hor... gals.. if we meletup straight away... i guess we will lose...leer
u see why she want to do that? she want to make us fight with hb... if we did
she will be happy... and the she will tell our hb "sorry for misbehave and blame it to alcohol"
then hb did push her away... and if we make noise hb will think that we are overly sensitive...
i guess he will keep a lot of things away from us infuture...
and we will be label as 'small woman' want to make a big issue out of it.


so the best way is remaind calm...
and tell her off without spoiling our Kou Kwai and Tai Fong imagine infront of our friends and HB...

[stpeiyee]

i like aishi's way of handling it... indirectly 'slap' dat gurl with words!

bunnyangels,

so far i din face a situation like u. the most is the other party place her arm on my hb's shoulders. i even written on it before.... b cool n calm. as ur hb loves u for who u are n i actually feel glad dat he did pushed dat gurl away although he din know dat u r 5 ft away....

[BunnyAngel]

You gurls make me feel so good



Kathie,
If you see my face, u wud straight away know i won't be able to do that. My FH always teases me, saying i cheated him with my good-girl charms. I guess i'm not brave enough. I'm very confident of myself, i know the gurl doesnt stand a chance against me, haha, but maybe i'm d kind of gurl who prefers to keep things small and not make enemies



Kjoanne,

Did d gurl apologize to you? Or act like nothing happen? Ur case reminds me of my FH's past case. He was drunk, and this other gurl held his hand+hugged him, right in front of me. He cudnt recall anything d following day, he was too drunk. Altho i didn't really blame him, cos he was drunk, but i was MAD. He cudn't drive, so his best friend drove me+FH using FH's car. In his drunken state, FH kept mumbling and asked "Baby, why r u so quiet" n etc. I was sitting in front, FH's bestie was driving. FH's voice was enough to make my anger built up, and when i can't tahan anymore, i turned to look at FH, screaming at his face, "CAN U PLS SHUT THE HELL UP AND DON'T TOUCH ME!!" FH's bestie turned to look at me, with VERY big eyes, totally shocked. FH was silent. FH's bestie quietly told FH, that while FH was drunk in d pub and i had to go back n forth taking care of FH, got a crazy guy blocked my way, held my hand, won't let go n insist dancing with me etc. That first drama happened about 2 years ago, when we first got together. Aft tat, FH NEVER got drunk.



Catlsy,

I kept quiet because she's d closest gurl friend for d guys in d small gang of 7, i didn't want to ruin their friendships n creates problems. rest assured, if she's gonna do that again, i'm REALLY gonna walk up to her and tell her to check herself in the mirror b4 getting near to my man.



Allyson,

Way to go gurl!! I love ur "Dun mess with me, U dun have the quali to do so look" + "turn FH on touch"!!! I did sumthing similar last week when we hang out. I gave her the "Your 3/4 exposed D-cups is nowhere on par with my down-to-earth elegance look" + danced seductively beside my FH, until he has2say 'Stop', cos he's so turned on. Hahaha. P/S: She's really D-cups, and it's real... (I guess FH prefers brains! *wink*)

[BunnyAngel]

Piggiemily,
She's closer to the gang that I am bcos they OWES hangout together while i was still in LDR with FH. So unfortunately, she's still enjoying her nite outs very much!! Whenever she sees me, she's still like her normal drama-self.. "Oh, how i miss u.." kind of things to me.

Bumblebee,
She's not guilty about it loh, if she is, at least she wud say sorry. She's still her usual-friendly way with my FH. If she's singmuk, she won't try to touch my FH again. If not, she'll see what a good-girl-turns-mean can do!

Aishiteru,
That was what i thought. FH did push her away, if i made a scene in front of everyone, i'd feel so siu-hei, my FH will b confused cos it's not exactly his fault, and i dunwan ppl passing stories around.

stpeiyee,
Yes, from the drama tat happened, at least i knew FH did d right thing. It took FH a long time to gain my trust (cos of LDR n previous FH's innocent dramas), so im so glad FH didn't betray the trust i have in him.

Whenever we hangout these days, i'm actually 'okay' with her around.
Why?
1) FH always keep me close next2him (she was just lucky2bump into my FH at washroom last time!)
2) Her 3/4 exposed breasts + free kiss didn't work (Not all cats simply eat cheap-fish! *laughs*)
3) It boosts my confidence!! (whenever i see her, it reminds me how my FH only has eyes+heart for me!!)
*laughs ever-so-happily*

Guess what.. we're all going to Karaoke session at 5pm later....

[aishiteru]

next time u go washroom, u just kidding... and u kidding telling ur hb
"dear i'm going to washroom, take care oh... dont kena pok mong,
nowdays women can be very desperate"

[BunnyAngel]

Aishiteru,
Haha.... I can't say that la, i will laugh my heads off. Probably because i do NOT feel threatened by her at all. Sumtimes inside d car, i teased my FH about those 'cheap ikanbilis' pouring themselves all over him, he wud just laughed. He wud not fight back, we'd just laugh abt d past. My FH is like a piece of wood, not romantic, and very dumb We discussed abt marriage, his new house is under reno. Yesterday inside d car, he asked "Erm, we get married next year okay?" I didn't answer(i knew his plan = new house ->ROM-> AD). He repeated, "Baby, we get married next year okay?" I looked at him, "This is d proposal?". He shook his head smiling, "No ah,... will propose formally again ah". He's trying to test hs success rate maybe? Dumbo FH.

[allyson]

BunnyAngel,

See... what was that canto saying.. yar kar pin yee, leong kar cheok... u r happy coz u indirectly told the girl to hands off (no confrontation there)... and ur FH is happy coz you pay so special attention to him.... All men likes attention ...

I support what Ais say.... but do it in a joking manner in everyone's full view.. then look directly at her (for 1 sec) and wink... and kiss ur FH

Your FH count very good lo...

[Mish]

BunnyAngel,

I think you have handled this beautifully! Well done.
If I were you, I might ask him to (casually) say to this so-called friend, 'I really enjoy your company but I'm really in love with my gf so next time pls don't try it on with me etc etc'.

This reminded me of my 'friend' who was a loose woman. She was 'fei lai' by a black guy in Uni. Normally girls will be upset if this happened to them, right? NOT her! She was proud of it and said 'hahaha, that proves that I'm attractive!' Then there was once when she was in a club, a friend of a friend said he would like pay £200 to sleep with her. She didn't but she was so happy about it. She told me, 'See? I'm worth £200!' It never occurred to her people offered her money because she looked and acted like a prostitute! Anyway, my hb (then bf) was transferred to work in her town for a few months. Her landlady's house had a spare room so he rented the room. Guess what she said to, 'Aren't you worried your bf will fall in love with me?' To which I immediately replied,'if he has such bad taste, there is nothing I can do about it.'

[aishiteru]

wah Mish,
wat is her reaction????
good answer hor... since she is so biatch why want to give her face....

[Mish]

She just laughed so she must thought I was joking.

[allyson]

Wa 200 Sterling pound only ah?? Her self worth is that little......??

[bumblebee]

this thread really reminds me of stpeiyee's thread.. hmmm... maybe we should join the threads..

looks like i gotta learn the tactics from u guys. but *touchwood* hopefully won't be needing it. the last time i experienced something similar, my hubby asked if i was jealous. and i smiled and asked should i be? i think the guys will be the happy ones here... esp when he starts getting special attention from us too

i think it is important that we stay calm and composed when facing the b*tch*s. if we show signs of being affected, it can also be a sign of defeat to them and they may even go further.

[Mish]

Wa 200 Sterling pound only ah?? Her self worth is that little......??

But she was proud of her 'market value'. Maybe it's because normally she provided her 'services' for free? (I'm so bitchy ) At one point, she had 4 bf on the go. Busy girl...

[mhyap1]

Wa 200 Sterling pound only ah?? Her self worth is that little......??

But she was proud of her 'market value'. Maybe it's because normally she provided her 'services' for free? (I'm so bitchy ) At one point, she had 4 bf on the go. Busy girl...

really pity her. walking around with the worth only 200 pound "price tag"...

[meiteoh]

I don't understand other girls sometimes. If your guy friend is attached, behave properly, y'know. What's this with pouring and plastering yourself all over the guy and worse, doing it in front of other people and the gf. Damn desperate izzit? Makes us DECENT and SOPHISTICATED girls look bad la.

The same happened to me and my ex when we first started dating. His girl best friend whom he has known since high school went out with me, him and a bunch of our mutual friends. Then in the club, in front of everyone, she proceeds to rub herself all over my ex (then bf at that time) and did some dirty dance with him - the best part? On the top of her voice, she went "Lets dance like this for old time's sake since this is your last night as a single man". People were shocked and asked me if I was jealous. I just looked at them and went "What's there to be jealous about? He's like a kayu, so stiff and not responding oso." Next thing I know, SHE goes and tells my ex-then-bf that I was jealous of her from then onwards, said stuff like how I was clingy, don't want to let him see his friends, etc. WTH.

When we broke up, I told him, "NO SANE WOMAN will tolerate that kind of behaviour from anyone, not even a so-called best friend. If she was a good person as you claim she is, she would KNOW BETTER. But then again, what can you expect from someone who likes to covet from others?" My ex was so pissed at me because he knew that it was true....at that time, this girl was helping this other guy cheat on his gf. Then when the guy went back to his gf, she went crying to my bf about what a jerk he was. Before that, she was doing some fishing with some Omani guy...and her ex won't even sit in the same car with her much or less talk to her. When my ex-then-bf tried to talk to the guy about the whole thing coz they are close friends, you know what the guy did? He threatened to break off their friendship. Heh.

Anyway, I went as far as to tell my ex to get his "priorities" straight. No man can love THREE or TWO women at the same time (Yup, that's what he told me. "I have always love her and people CAN love more than one person at the same time romantically.") and no woman will tolerate that kind of attitude from her man. It's only me or the road, y'know.

Until today, I think she's a bitch and frankly, she'll always be a ugly-ho to me.

[aishiteru]

Wa 200 Sterling pound only ah?? Her self worth is that little......??

But she was proud of her 'market value'. Maybe it's because normally she provided her 'services' for free? (I'm so bitchy ) At one point, she had 4 bf on the go. Busy girl...

mish,
if she said that again... u tell her... "if i were you i will slap him for humilating me... i'm NOT a ho"

[Mish]

I'm not in contact with her anymore. I questioned her about her violent relationship (black eyes, burn marks etc. He even abused her pets). She didn't like it so she never call me again. I never bother with her since then. If she didn't want anyone to say bad things about him so I didn't want to 'waste gas'.

[BunnyAngel]

Dear Mish,
The 200 Sterling pounds gurl = i dunno what's on her mind!! Was feilai-ed but she seemed she was celebrating? Crazy. I remember one time ah, a very RICH guyfriend of my not-so-close friend approached me in d club, he asked me how much i usually spent every month, he wud give me 3 times tat amount per month if i agree to be wit him. (which meant he wanna 'bau' me). I was SO offended, i got really angry. So i smiled and replied him "Oh, great. But Im sorry to say that even ur whole bank of $$ is NOT enough for my monthly allowance!", n walked off. N my very good looking guyfren came to my rescue, 'acting' like my bf, and giving that guy "you dun hav d koli to fight wit me look". I never saw that guy again. Haha.

Bumblebee,
Ya, if we get really emotional n looks so effected, it wud seem the biatch has 'won'. By staying composed n calm, indirectly we r sending a mesage to the biatch, which says "I dun feel threatened by you even a BIT!" (Even if unhappy n wanna fatsit, also will fatsit AFTER go home! Dunwan let d biatch see/know ma! Hehe)

meiteoh,
If i were u, i wud hav exploded at d sight of her dirty dancing around my guy! That was totally unacceptable loh. I didnt know some gurls can be so downright desperate. I dun care if they were bestfriends la, that was so offensive. But anyway, congrats that u dun hav anything to do with him/her anymore!

Mish,
I feel bad for that gurl. No matter how b*tchy she was, she doesnt deserve an abusive relationship. She sud b thankful that you cared enough about her to ask her about it. But sumtimes, if they refuse to be helped, we can also do nothing la.