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About Apekjolly

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    Nonchalant Novice
  1. Know what? If you see my post above, that was around the last time I logged in to this MB. Out of the blue, I just tried to log in just now to see if my account still works. It did, thanks to MB for still keeping me in. Oh, I was glad for the advice I gave you. Now your "diamond" has grown bigger without him and you seem happy to have got on with your life. That's good. Happy for you.
  2. There is a saying, "Expect nothing and you will not be dissappointed.". It makes sense. If we don't hope for anything and we don't get anything, there is then nothing to be unsatisfied about. Vice-versa, if we look forward for so many things, and yet we get so little back, we can become very nasty devils. That's what happens to many MILs. When their sons marry, they see the matter like as if they are buying properties into their homes. And so, they expect the new properties to service them according to their requirements. Anything short of that will make them dissappointed and thus they become very grumblesome and even quarrelsome. Such MILs forget that the two-legged things that their sons bring into the homes are human beings who have feelings and lives of their own to live for. Certainly not a life of servitude to cater to only people of their husbands' side. So, the best policy for MILs is to expect nothing from their DILs, for only when they expect nothing, then they will not be disappointed. Once they are not disappointed, they will not become monster MILs.. Moreover, if one expects nothing, one may get a bonus in the sense that if something good turns up in spite of one not expecting anything, it is a bonus to be happy about.
  3. The way I see it, it's either you're stupid or you're too smart, or I'm stupid. Why I say you're stupid is because, as what Joanne says, the signs are obvious; and if you still don't get it, you must be a moron. Come on, girl! Don't you realise he's provoking you to ask the question: "When are you gonna marry me?" Then why I say you may be too smart is because you may have detected a glint of suspicion in his eyes which your subconscious mind warns you to be cautious. Only very smart people have such an aptitude to sense such ominous signs. Now, why I say I'm stupid is because only an idiot like me bother to reply to such a post.
  4. There's no such thing as ready-made auspicious, good, or lucky dates to hold weddings. The best dates are when both parties are ready in terms of every aspects like carreer, work, financial, circurmstances, mood, etc, etc. We can pick the luckiest of dates, but when things want to go wrong, they will go wrong regradless of how auspicious the dates were when they were selected. Just look at the hundreds and thousands of failed marriages. Don't tell me all the couples didn't choose the so-called auspicious dates? .
  5. Just to make sure she has no celebral palsy, bring her to the paed to check. Don't worry, this minor problem of shorter calf muscles can be corrected. But you can try to determine if she is merely doing it for fun or out of habit.
  6. My answer is simple: If budget is tight, why waste the money? If money is no issue, why not? The good thing about a pre-wedding shooting is that the atmosphere is more relax and happy. Relax, because you can choose a really good season for the shooting while the actual day is at a safe and easy distance away. Besides, you can use the pictures for your montage at the wedding dinner. Happy, because the once-in-a-life-time big day is coming and that thought helps to put sunshine on your faces.
  7. Some of the games I have seen people played to tease the bridegrooms are plain silly and dirty. Although this ritual is meant to make the wedding merrier, I think it is an old and outdated custom which people can do without nowadays.
  8. Confucius gave a very simple advice: Do not do unto others what you would not like others do unto you. If those flirty girls and husbands abide by this obvious common sense philosophy, no anger and jealousy need to be perpetrated. Sometimes we wonder why, for example, those girls cannot imagine that if their husbands or boyfriends are being disturbed by other girls like how they disturb others, how would they feel? The same thing with husbands. If their wives entertain other men like how they entertain other girls, how would they feel?
  9. Hope is one thing, but the financial means to sustain that hope is another matter. Besides, there's the risk of not able to live a normal life even though death is miraculously beaten. The worst is to recover and live as a vegetable. That would defeat the very purpose and meaning of life for the person concerned beside bringing on griefs and miseries to loved ones.
  10. Old people always like to advise young people to get things ready early because they have learned lessons that doing things in a rush last minute often ends in disasters. But you're the best person to know what needs to be ready and what can wait a while.
  11. If the police bother to do their job diligently, they can easily catch this type of con. Just trace where the money eventually goes to. The bank must cooperate, of course.
  12. Next year, the Australian government is going to give four and a half months of paid maternity leave to women workers. What does this show? It shows that when a country is already sufficiently advanced and the thinking of its people is also already intellectually mature, the contribution of women to society is duly recognized. When I talk about women's contribution here, I'm talking about the very basic level of things. Okay, the basic of things: Consider all the human beings that populate this world. Where do they come from? Do humans grow out of the ground like mushrooms? No, right? Humans have to be born by their mothers. And is it an easy job to be pregnant for nine months and then deliver babies? Nobody would want to have that job if they can avoid it. But female humans are already given this very heavy and very risky job by nature. If fellow humans don't want to pay them for that job, who else want to pay them? When a person is employed, his work is a kind of contribution to life on earth. When a person lets her own body to be used for nurturing and producing a next generation of human, that is also a form of contribution to life on earth, albeit a bigger contribution even. That is the big picture of things. See it now? But I can forgive that writer to The Star for not being able to see the big picture. He sees only the tree, but cannot see the forest. Well, to be fair, he does have his special points. If you have a company, of course you'd not want to pay a worker that doesn't work for you. The thing is that, if you own a company whose capacity is not able to pay a worker for maternity leave, then you should not, in the first instance, employ someone who is likely to take such leave. In my opinion, a capable company should provide paid maternity leave to a maximum of at least two children. Why there is a maximum is partly to prevent abuse of the privilege by, for example, giving birth every year up to more than ten children. Imagine you do that in Australia!
  13. SHARING MY THOUGHT "Love" is an an elusive word. No one can put into one sentence to define what love is. Many things which we thought of as "love" are actually one of our natural senses. Consider this scenario: A mother runs into the road and pushes away her little son to save him from being run over by a car and then gets herself killed in the process. The woman has sacrificed her life only out of her spontaneous maternal instinct. But, sentimentally, it would be described as a mother's "love" for her child. When a woman falls in love with a man, it could be just a male-female sexual chemistry. But, romantically, it would be called "love". If you can love someone only if that someone can love you back and make you happy, that love of yours could be no more than a form of "self-interest".
  14. citbankvisa, "Both has got to ask yourself if you are doing the right thing for the other. Not ask if you are getting the right thing from the other." I particularly like the above-quoted statement of yours. You're right. Most people never stop to ask that question. And it is, sad to say, a natural human trait. Humans, by instinct, are self-centered. That is the original source of most human squabbles. It is the pursuit of self-interest which makes us unable to recognize the interest of others. We want others to love us, but we forget to love others. We want others to respect us, but we forget to respect others. We want others to be generous and compromising to us, but we forget to do likewise back to others. We want others to ignore our bad characters, but we cannot accept other people's bad characters. Well, the list goes on - endless. And the worst thing is that, a lot of us are not even aware of those selfish features in us. We can only see it in others, but not in ourselves. And the most fertile ground for that problem to ferment is in the relationship of a marriageable couple because of the "we and them" syndrome, that is ... I, my family, my relatives, my friends on this side; and she or he, his family, his relatives, his friends on the other side. Let me give an example of where an issue may arise here: we may like to have many interactions with with people of our own side, but when it comes to dealing with our spouse's side, we don't like it. And because we don't like it, we automatically "switch on our scanning radar to detect for the tiniest offensive movements of the enemy side." Thus, anything can become an issue and give us a reason to become angry and therefore pick a quarrel with our spouse over the matter. As a human person, we have the tendency to expect everything to flow according to our liking; and when things don't flow according to our wish, we become irritated. Let me repeat: Self-interest is the culprit. If we can rid ourselves of this self-interest "devil" in us, we can overcome a lot of unhappiness in our life. I'm going to say something which most of you won't agree with me. Even to do good in the name of god may be a form of self-interest for some people. Why? Because these people may be driven by motivation to do good just to gain favors from god so that god will send them to enjoy life in heaven next time. Now, if that is not self-interest, what is that?
  15. JUST SHARING AN OPINION It's hard to say if one thing is a waste of money or not. It all depends on a lot of factors and not just on your financial capability. Say, even if you can afford a thing, but then that thing simply gobbles up a large chunk of your hard-earned money, and yet that thing is not going to give you a lasting benefit of some sort, then it may be a waste of money. If you want a thing so badly, and you have the money for it, and you know you'll emotionally suffer if you're deprived of that thing, why constrain yourself and your money? Let your money do its rightful duty; that is, to satisfy human wants. That's what money is for; we chase after money in order to use it to satisfy our wants. But just make sure that you're not "cutting out a piece of cloth from the back of your shirt to patch up a hole at its front."
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