Sie

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About Sie

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    Nonchalant Novice
  • Birthday 03/15/1982

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  • Gender Female
  • Location PJ

Sie's Activity

  1. Sie added a post in a topic honest   

    dear beautifulgown, aishiteru, enidtang & BS&AJ.. thanks very much for support & advices.. i felt much better now after letting out my emotions.. yeah, i know he dont deserved me.. i want him to know that his loss is my gain! thanks again *kisses*
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  2. Sie added a post in a topic honest   

    Dear babes,

    a couple of months passed.. i've got some updates to my story earlier..

    so, after a few days, T finally called & we met up to clear the air.. he told me he just needed some time of his own to do some thinking before calling me back and not trying to disappear completely.. he saw me posted some pictures of myself with some other guys & i tweeted that i'm gonna stop using twitter.. so, he asked me whether am i seeing someone new already & quitting twitter.. he told me he is very upset & he promised me tons of things & said will tell J bout our relationship ASAP because after a few days, he realized he can't afford to lose me.. (i'm trying to cut the story short) at the end, we got back together.. That's in the month of April..

    Everything went on well after that incident, i tried to trust him & to forget what has happened earlier on. Until one fine day, somewhere around the month of May, while i was browsing in FB, i suddenly think of what T has promised me earlier.. he said he is gonna add me in FB but, there's no request coming from him in at all.. then out of the blue, i discovered he has 2 FB accounts.. the 1st fb account is open to public.. everyone can add him & see his photos but the other one, i can't even click "add him as fren" button but i saw the 2nd account, J is one of his friend but not me..

    things suddenly starts running around my head.. almost wanna explode.. i told myself i should stop thinking too much.. maybe he is just too bz to even log in to his FB, etc.. i keep trying to find a reason for him.. but after a day or two, i decided to talk to him in a nice manner.. i asked him why arent he's adding me in FB and he really told me he didnt log in ever since that day.. FINE! i asked him again whether is J aware of our relationship yet.. the answer is NO.. FINE!! then i finally told him "u know im very particular in you adding me but u refused to do so.. u know i care, but u're careless, u know u're gonna lose me if u dun gain my trust, but u dun seem to do anything bout it.. im really tired.. i dun want myself to keep thinking a reason for you.." that time we were at Starbucks, The Gardens Mall. I told him, i dont wanna force you any longer & i know i cant tolerate this anymore.. maybe we should just walk our separate ways.. then he suddenly look me in the eyes & i can see tears starts floating in his eyes.. i stand up immediately & told him i have to go.. he insist to follow me behind.. until we reached the basement, he suddenly hold on my arms & standing there begging me with tears flowing down.. he actually cried & beg me for another chance & spare him some time.. he told me he used to have a gf whom he loves very much for 5 years but the girl left him & he is devastated.. he said he do not want the same thing to happen again.. he said he loves me very much & dun wanna lose me..

    i asked him to stop crying & at the same time, i'm actually kinda shocked.. i didnt expect him to act that way.. i asked him what's the point of us keeping the relationship when both of us do not have the same objectives anymore.. & the most importantly, i dun trust him? i dont even know where my bf is staying at that point of time.. he told me he'll bring me to his house, show me where he live & when things become more stable, he will even bring me back to see his parents in JB & will definitely tell J bout us.. Again, i cut the story short, i gave him another shot..

    exactly on Wesak day (28th May) he asked me to spend my weekends at his place.. I'm ok with the idea since it's a long holiday & i can finally know where he's staying & whether is he really staying alone or with someone.. so that weekend was fine, everything went on well.. so i was at his place from friday till sunday.. he is on long leave after the weekend & will be back to his hometown.. so he sent me back home on Sunday afternoon before he drive back to JB..

    while i was at home, i went online.. this time i saw something else.. i saw something in his msn profile page.. (fyi, he still havent add me in fb yet) i saw his status written was "married" and his significant other is "J" and there's a picture of the two of them sitting very close with the title as "T & J".. the picture was uploaded in November 2008..

    my tears starts flowing down my cheeks when i saw what was written in his profile.. immediately i shut down my pc & lock myself in the room, crying.. i keep asking myself "why? why he wanne lie?"

    after a couple of hours, i know he should have reached JB, i've decided to call him.. so i called him & ask him straight to the point.. i ask "why did you label J as your significant other?" he was kinda shocked and said "nah, we're just playing around with each other" i told him i'm really really sick of all these nonsense already.. i'm emotionally worn out!

    then he finally admits that they really were an item last time.. but only for a short while thats because he broke off with his ex of 5 years in the month of September 2008 and he is kinda rebound & he did a mistake by seeing her.. but they broke off in early of 2009.. that's what he said.. he said he will never tell me if i didnt know bout this because he knows that i'm gonna be upset bout it.. i asked why he has 2 fb accounts, he told me is for game purpose (he used to said ppl who play games in fb is a waste of time). i'm very very disappointed with him.. no words can describe my feeling.. i really tried to trust him again & again but why i got to know it's all lie? even from day 1, it's all lie!! i just cant believe it.. i starts to think of the reason why he dun wanna add me in fb.. most probably is bcoz there's a lot of pictures of them together, closely.. i told him if he dont love her, he shouldnt be so close to her.. dont hold hands with her.. dont go trips with her.. coz all these are only making things worse.. she can never let go of him coz he is indirectly giving her hope! he tried to explain & keep reasoning with me.. he said he know he shouldnt do that, bla bla bla.. then i asked him "if 1 day, she bumped into us in the mall & we're kissing or holding hands, so what are u gonna explain to her?" then he said "i dun think i owe her any explanation.. if she saw us, then it's even better.. i dont need to explain anything" he also said he cant tel J bout us now is because "it's not the right time yet".. what do u mean it's not the right time? if he dont find the time, there will never be the right time!

    i told him whatever it is, i just wanna hang up & i dun wanna talk bout it anymore.. just give myself some time as i can't think straight anymore.. i'm sad.. super duper sad.. i said "u know what you're gonna do if you want me back.. i dun wan u to choose between me & J but i think that's the only way now" then he said im giving him a lot of pressure.. he seems like being pushed to the end of the corner.. he said he will think bout it.. then we hung up..

    so he need to think who he wants now? come on! i'm his gf! now he said he wanna think? i just cant believe it! i told him i can tolerate him not being there for me all the time.. i can tolerate him leavin me alone in the city & he has to go back to his hometown almost every weekends but i can never tolerate that he is sleeping with J while he is with me! i cant!!

    so after 1 day, i posted my shout out message in Twitter.. i said "twitter, i got no choice buy to leave u".. i wrote that is because i dont wanna log in twitter anymore.. i'm sad when i saw his status.. he went on silent mode again.. he dun tweet, he dun online, he seems to be like disappearing again.. this time, 1 whole week we didnt contact each other.. so after a week, i know he's back to the city, i text him.. i told him since it's so hard for him to make a decision & there's no solution, maybe he should just let me go.. it's best for everyone.. after a couple of hours, he replied my text "you already said it in twitter clearly last week.. u said u hv no choice but to leave.. i got it clear, no repetition needed"

    He left me speechless after that text message.. my heart is broken into millions of pieces.. the pain is excruciating! i cant believe someone who has waste so much time & effort to court me, will do this to me.. someone who writes me love notes every morning & put it on my windscreen is actually a big liar! all i can do at that point of time is, cry.. that's on the 7th June..

    Well, after a week of that incident, i saw his car in the basement one day.. i put back all the cards he has given to me back on his windscreen.. i wanna tell him, stop telling me lies & keep all your bullshit.. it's all lie from day 1, a F***ing liar! what a beautiful story he has given to me.. he is an academy award winning actor! one of my friend told me if he is a human being, he will definitely feel upset when he saw i returned all the love notes back to him.. but i told her, whether all were lies or not, its not important anymore coz i can never trust him anymore..

    last 2 weeks, i heard he got himself drunk on weekdays & hangover the next morning.. cant go to work, etc.. admitted to the hospital (i dont know what happen, i dun care & i dun wanna ask him) he tweets some very emo shout outs, saying he is sad & gloomy, etc.. he even wrote on his status in msn "cherished the one you love before u start losing them"..

    the drama has finally come to an end.. we didnt contact each other ever since.. i still miss him once in a while & can still feel sad when i think of our sweet moments.. frankly, i still cant believe what he did to me all these while were LIES.. i know he is not the right one, i know all i can do now is to let time heal my wound..

    Babes, thanks for the precious advice & your time reading my craps.. appreciate that very much..
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  3. Sie added a post in a topic honest   

    thanks a lot Tash & meiteoh.. thanks for your time in reading my nonsense.. yeah, obviously J loves T & i even told him that.. Since he never contact me ever since that day, i will definitely not gonna call him.. I know i should really just forget about this relationship & totally forget about this person as well..
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  4. Sie added a topic in Matters Of The Heart   

    honest
    Just wanna share my story with you.

    March 2009 there's a colleague named T was transferred to our HQ in KL. He is from JB. The 1st time i saw him back then, he gave me a warm smile which makes me started to notice him. As day goes by, we eventually became closer & exchanged mobile numbers & start texting each other. At 1st the text msg that i received from him was pretty ordinary but when time goes by, he starts calling me "dear, sweetheart, etc"..

    After he transferred to KL, everyone noticed that he is getting pretty close with another colleague named J. He even fetch her to work almost everyday because he said they live nearby & car-pooling. So, one day we went out for coffee, i start asking him about his relationship with J. All he told me was they were very very good fren & that's just about it. He knew her few years back. His ex-girlfren is actually working in XXX bank & so coincidently J's sister is also working there. When he is having a tough time with his ex gf, J is the one who lend him the shoulder to cry on.

    After that, I asked him whether does he has a facebook account, if so, he can add me. He told me he is not active in FB but in Twitter instead. So, i created an account in Twitter & starts adding him in my fren's list & he added me too. Then, i saw his fren's list there was this picture that caught my eyes. I saw J is also in his fren's list & the thing is, her profile picture was the 2 of them standing quite close. the picture told me there's certainly something more than frens between the two of them. i did not ask him anything about it coz i do not know who am i to ask him that question.

    Then one day, he told me he is going to Penang for a short trip. He told me it was a photography trip (he loves photoshooting) & he'll be there with a guy fren. When he's back from Penang, he bought me a nice T-Shirt. He even posted some pictures he took while he's in Penang. Then out of a sudden, i search J in Facebook & i found her. The next thing i did was to check out her photo albums. Im very shocked to see she actually also posted pictures she went to Penang. There isnt any photos of T with her & T also didnt post any pictures of J in his blog. but other pictures were exactly the same. Then only i discovered that the person who went to Penang with T was J!

    On the same day, i saw J starts adding me in twitter.. but when i wanted to approve her request, i was told that she has cancelled the request. It happens again the day after that day. after a week, same thing happens again. in total, she has been adding me & cancelling her request again & again for 5 times. at 1st, i do not understand why is she doing this but after a while, i finally know.. all she ever wanted to do was to show me her profile picture & not wanting to be my fren. Finally, i blocked her. She can never add me again.

    J is a snobbish type of girl, everyone in the office dislike her. Even before i know she is close to T, i already dislike her because she is always the arrogant type. Everyone also quite curious why T is so close to her. She did not have many frens & most of the time only with 1 or 2 colleagues.

    After seeing those photos, i text T & told him his "girlfren" added me in twitter & i saw pictures of them going for holiday in Penang. He replied me & said she is not his gf & both of them were just very close. He even said she is the closest to that he has got & that's just about it. He keeps denying & telling me he may choose to answer or not to answer my question but he finally chosen to answer me. He even said he can explain to me face to face rather than texting. But the next time when we go out for dinner, lunch or tea, he never mention bout the trip anymore. I also did not ask him.

    We continue being close & eventually i starts to fall for him. He treated me like a princess. Buying me breakfast & giving me lots of suprises. He even write bedtime stories for me at nite b4 i go to bed. I always asked him whether is he doing the same thing to everyone but he said he is not. He will never do the same thing to any other person & except for me. He is a very observant person. He will noticed if i wore a new top or even a new pair of earring. He will never fail to compliment & that impressed me much. Tiny little thing, he will also noticed but nobody in the office know that we actually talk to each other.

    Then one day, while browsing through his twitter page, i saw his fren D posted some pictures onto his own blog. Then only i discovered that wherever he goes for photoshooting, J will always be with him. I even saw he actually quite active in Facebook & his profile picture in Facebook is actually him & J. Im upset after looking at all the pictures. Even though there isnt any photos that shows they are holding hands or being close to each other. but somehow or rather, im still upset. He never add me in facebook. but J is in his facebook. I start asking myself is it bcoz there were too many pictures that i might not be happy after looking at it, thats why he did not add me in Facebook.

    So, i force myself not to contact him anymore & not to be so close to him bcoz i knew there must be something going on between him & J. I stop texting him or replying his msg, but he nvr give up & still keep trying to keep in contact with me. He sensed something is not rite, but he dare not ask me the reason. He is very persistent & keep calling me even though im giving him a cold shoulder. after 2 weeks, i finally talk to him again. I dont know why, but maybe is bcoz of his nvr give up attitude, im touched by him.

    last month, he finally resigned from our company as he found a better offer. We still call & text each other frequently. Last few weeks (08/03/10), we decided to have dinner. After the dinner, he ask me whether do i wanna have a drink with him & another fren of his (D) at Sky Bar at Traders HOtel. So i accepted his invitation & im happy that he finally introduce one of his close fren to me. So we had a good time at sky bar. At the Bar, he treated me like his gf.. his fren was kinda shock to see how he behave as his fren knew J as well. After the drink, his fren went home. He was a bit intoxicated & im kinda worried if he has to fetch me home then driving back all by himself. Finally we decided to put up a nite at Traders hotel.

    In the hotel, he starts hugging me & telling me how much he likes me. He even starts kissing me. I stop him & said he is drunk & we shouldnt behave like this. But he keep telling me he is not drunk & still knows wat is happening. He told me he has fall in love with me from the 1st day that he smile with me. I start asking him about J again, then he starts telling me over & over again that they were just frens. NOthing happen during that nite, only kisses & hugs. Then from that day onwards, he starts holding my hands wherever we go & we were sort of like a couple. Im very happy to be with him throughout this 3 weeks as he shower me with love & attention. I nvr told my frens about my relationship with him as i find it's too early to tell them since we are not stable yet. he also did the same thing. My birthday was on the 15th March, he sent flowers to me & we went out for dinner. I felt deeply in love by him as he keeps telling me how much he loves me & missing me everyday. He even put a card on my windscreen every morning just to say he miss me. So whenever i knocked off from work & while walking over to get my car, he will brighten up my day when i saw his small little note on my windscreen.

    Then last friday, i went in to D's blog again. This time i saw some other pictures which totally makes me very sad. I know he went for water rafting with his frens but he nvr told me J is also going with him. He also never ask me whether i wanna tag along or not. although they went for water rafting that time, im still not being with him yet but im sad when i saw pictures of them holding hands. There were like a couple. They hold on to each other & J clinging to him all the time. I am seriously sad. I told him i wanna see him but did not mentioned wat i've seen. He was back to his hometown in JB on Friday nite & will only be back on Sunday nite. He promised to look for me the minute he reach KL on Sunday so that we can have dinner together. I keep updating my status in Twitter that im upset. he knows that im upset & ask me what bothers me. I refused to tel him as i really feel that we should have a serious talk when we meet up. So, i told him im gonna tell him when he is back to KL. But on Sunday, he nvr call or text me until 6pm i finally called him. He told me he is still in JB & was thinking to call me to say he might not be able to make it for dinner with me. I'm totally disappointed & saddened by what he told me. If i did not call him, he also did not intend to tell me he is not coming back for dinner with me. Although im sad, i just keep to myself. My voice obviously telling him im extremely upset.

    On Monday morning when i reach the basement car park, i saw his car. (he still park at the same building with me as his new company is just opposite my office). I dont feel like talking to him, so i just wave & walk off. He sensed something was not right with me, so he text me & ask whether is it im mad with him. I told him im not but deep inside my heart, i am! Im having a massive headache on that day & was on MC for half day. So around lunch hour, i left the office & thinking to go home to take a rest. He still didnt call me for dinner so i just keep waiting. Then as usual, he will text me during lunch hour to remind me to take my lunch, eat well, etc. I told him im driving back home coz im having migraine. He call me immediately after receiving my msg & asked me to rest more when i reached home.

    After taking a nap, i finally felt better. So i called him to see whether he wanna do dinner with me or not since i wanted to talk to him. He told me initially he wanted to have dinner with me, but then when i told him im having migraine, he thought i just wanna rest for the day. I told him im ok & we shall have dinner. So he came & pick me up at nite & we went for dinner.

    After the dinner, he starts asking me what's been bothering me so much. So i starts asking him the 1st question "tell me about u & J". He was puzzled & said "they were very close frens & close until they can actually hold hands". Then i starts telling him how unhappy i am when i saw pictures of them together holding hands. I told him i dun wanna be an "unrecognized" girlfriend to him. I dont know where he live, i dont know who his frens were & basically i know nothing about him but J knows everything about him. I even told him i am not convinced that they were just friends. I asked him whether did he ever really thought about going serious with me as i do not wanna waste my time in a relationship that is not going anywhere. If i ever need to share a boyfriend with someone else, i told him i rather not having this relationship because i can't accept my boyfriend being so close with another girl. I asked him whether did his frens actually know that i am exist. He told me not all but only a couple of them because he felt that we are not stable yet. I told him im very unhappy. He keep quiet all the time and just listen to what i have to say. I even told him that i do not wish to make an appointment before i can meet my boyfriend. He told me he understand. He even told me he is definitely not two-timing me with J & was kinda suprise that i have been thinking so much. I still cant believe him. I dun trust what he told me because i'm just not convinced. I know he did shower me with love & attention but there is still something missing between us. There seems to be a barrier between us. I told him that i felt when he is free then only he will come look for me. He is quite unhappy when i told him that & he told me he is definitely not being too free then only think of me. He told me he cant believe i will see him this way. He knows that im insecure in this relationship & he told me he is too. He knows there's always a lot of good quality guys courting me & at the same time im being quite close with a guy name S. He told me he is not happy that im so close to S. I told him S is a married man & i know my limits. We only have dinner once in a while & we did not go out during weekends. We did not hold hands or hug each other unlike his relationship with J. He just keep quiet after that. I even told him that he should think properly whether am i the rite girl for him. If he still wanna have such a close relationship with J, then im definitely not his cup of tea. We shouldnt continue like this anymore.

    Then i asked him what he thinks. He told me he also felt insecure at times & he need some time to think about it as he did not know what to do at that point of time. so i agreed & told him we should really think of this relationship again. Since Monday till now, he seems to be disappeared already. i dont receive any text messages or calls from him. I'm not used to it. I'm so down but i know i have to control myself for not calling him. I dont know what is he thinking these few days. I saw his car last few days while going to work. We pass each other but we pretend we dont see each other. This is so sad. Even if he wants to end our relationship & to be with J, isnt he supposed to at least tell me? Why am i sort of waiting for his answer now? Or is he still thinking what to do?

    If he can't give up his friendship with J, i know i shouldnt be sad because of him. Someone who claims to love me & miss me all the time, suddenly makes me felt like he is a stranger to me.

    I am sad.. Very sad.. I dont know what to do.. I dont wanna call him but it's so difficult to control myself. Please show me some direction. I'm lost.

    Thank you very much for your time to read my craps..
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  5. Sie added a post in a topic Advice   




    pearly, u can just go to a Guardian, look for the pharmacist, then tell the pharmacist u wanna delay your period.. last time i took some kinda pil prescribe by the pharmacist b4 & its completely safe.. my menstrual cycle is quite accurate & i didnt encounter any problem after taking the pill.. u may consult the pharmacist for more info..
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  6. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    dear adyong85,

    those highlighted words are really encouraging me.. thanks a million! ya, no matter wat is the answer this coming saturday, i'll try my best to cheer myself up.. i think i hv done my very best & hv put in a lot a lot of effort in patching things up.. its really enough..
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  7. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    thanks so much juanil.. appreciate it.. i guess time can heal all wounds.. perhaps its really time to end everything.. once & for all.. thank you..
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  8. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   

    thanks for all the advices..

    ystday actually we have planned to meet up for a drink to talk things out today.. but i told myself i no longer wanna wait so i actually called him.. i told him i just dun understand with all his sudden disappear & i need an explanation.. i even asked him that has he made up his mind as im not gonna wait any longer.. he told me he is very clear wat he is doing at that time at the club but he is still yet to hv a conclusion on our relationship.. i started to get impatient & tell him that i do not wanna suffer like this anymore, if u want me to start up the topic of breaking up then i'll tell u now so that i wont be like waiting for death & u wont be confused anymore.. then he started to cry & he told me "saturday, i'll give u an answer this saturday ok?"

    im very tired & hurt at this moment.. i told myself not to call him or sms him anymore within these few days.. i guess this saturday is the end of our war whether is good or bad, i think i'll just have to accept it.. but yeah, i did prepared for the worst..
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  9. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   


    ya.. im really confused.. :'(
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  10. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   

    Dear all,

    Jus to update my situation now.. Last week i went to a club & bumped into my bf.. i assumed he knows that im going there so he actually waited for me at the main door.. once i arrived he straight away pull me over to him & hug me very tightly.. he told me where he was sitting & he said will drop by to my place.. so the whole nite he actually keep coming to my place.. he hug me, kissed me & just act like how we used to be before that.. i felt so happy & relieved & thought maybe everything will changed after that nite.. but the next day till today, i didnt received a single call or sms from him.. i sms him to ask how is he & he will just reply me with a single answer such as "working now or eating now".. im very confused now.. i dunno why he will act tat way.. isnt tat he should at least giv me an explanation? i heard my frens said he did sms them to said tat day was a fun nite & ask when we can gather to hv another drink together.. but y he did not even sms me? i felt very angry at the same time.. since sunday i tried to meet up with him but he just give me tons of excuse saying he is bz, etc.

    im really wondering wat exactly is happening? im so confused now.. our anniversary is this saturday.. im so sad now.. how can he acted tat way! my fren said he might be missing me much tats y he purposely went to the club just to see me & give me a big hug.. but why after that particular nite everthing has changed? just now i finally managed to ask him out.. tomorrow after work i will be seeing him.. i really do not know what to expect & do not know wat to ask him.. i m so worried now.. im really afraid we just couldnt last till our anniversary..

    if he doesnt wanna have any relationship with me anymore why is he hugging, kissing & holding on to me last saturday? wat is he trying to do? some of my frens even said that he might be purposely do all these things then this saturday give me a suprise but i dont even dare to think that way! its not funny at all..

    the thing is when we are the club, he keeps on introducing me to his frens & said "this is my gf, my gf, my gf" & keeps holding me.. im still in the state of shocked! tell me wat m i to do now? wat should i do when i see him? i really do not know wat is he thinking now.. i suddenly felt that he is like a total stranger to me.. it freaks me out..
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  11. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    thank u juanil,

    i've just sent him a text msg saying stuff like "i suddenly hv a thought of u, so just wanna greet u, have a nice day".. he didnt reply me.. :(
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  12. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    thanks.. ya, i've been trying to make myself bz all the time to at least stop thinking about him..
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  13. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    yes, im worried if its really those accumulated pressure as u mentioned.. ya, im thinking very hard too.. but i just got no guts in leaving him.. sigh..
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  14. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   



    bumblebee, ya, tats wat i was thinking too.. i guess its his frens influenced him.. i've been trying to explain to him every couple is diff, if v do not try this time, we wouldnt know wat will happen in the future.. anyway, thanks a lot.
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  15. Sie added a post in a topic Please give me some advice   


    marryhim, thank u so much for giving me full moral support.. thanks for your advice.. im really crossing my fingers while waiting for his phone call..
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