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happy-gal

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About happy-gal

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  1. Robbie.. it is not him who wanted to breakup previously.. it was me who asked for it because he wanted to do some biz which i feel that i cant tahan that kinda lifestyle.. and i didnt want to burden him by dragging on with him making him sad and myself unhappy.. so i decided to make the decision.. and now i wonder if what i did was ever correct... now that he's POSTPONED it.. he didnt say he'd abandoned the idea of that biz.. jz that now he wants to focus on his current career.. he still will proceed with the biz in future bt nt sure when.. so i told him.. as long as u come back to me every night .. back home.. i'd accept it.. previously he was saying that he'd throw everything his career, his parents all aside and then go do that biz 100%..i didnt like it previously because i feel that i wanted to setup a family..
  2. ok i am back.. its been tough trying to handle this.. before i start i would like all of you not to criticise me for my actions eventhough i know its darn stupid of me.. i myself also dont know what is right or wrong.. to start off with, after the break, about 2 months later, he called me out.. and wanted to reconcile. he asked me "can i give him another chance".. i didnt say anything then as we talk,it turned out that initially the stuff that he wanted to do (which contributes to the reason why i breakup with him) he has temporarily suspended the idea of going ahead with it. So when i asked him, he said it was partially because of me .. when i wanted the break that nobody supported him to do the biz he wanted to do .. he feels really devastated.. and then on the next day, i called him.. i asked him that since he is not going ahead with his biz anymore, i want to gt back together.. then he said that after the previous meeting when he wanted to get back, i didnt reply him he said he has already given up and put down hopes to get back with me.. and eventually he has picked himself up.. thats not the end.. we continue to keep in touch and he's still treating me as his gf.. we still hug, kiss and when we go out, we'd hold hands and i always feel very happy and comfy when with him.. thats also 1 of the reason why i wanted him back.. so then i always felt that both of us really feel for each other.. when he is with me, he really care for me.. however, when he is not with me (we are both staying with our own parents), he never call or sms me asking me how am i doing..like before when we were dating.. when i tried to hint to him, he say that he's busy..i always feel how long will it costs to msg ??... just to let u know, he's been like this previously when we were dating too bt nt so bad.. at least 1 week 2 times he will mg me asking me how am i doing.. now??.. none at all if i never initiated it.. its always me who msg him or call him.. bt when i msg, he'll respond.. when i call he'll talk as though we are dating.. manja2 and all.. i always asked him "u miss me"?.. he'll always say yes.. and kisses..all that typical dating stuff couples do over the phone.. the thing is, when i asked him again last week on the getting back together, he still says that he's unsure that he's too afraid i might jz leave him again.. he's undecided.. he said that he's told all his friends that we broke..i told him that i'll never leave him again.. (actually this is the 2nd time i rejected him cause when he 1st tried to date me i rejected him as i feel he isnt very sincere.. then the 2nd time was because he wanted to do that biz which i dont quite like it) then he said that the next step wud be marriage and he really cant accept being hurt again and again by the same person.. me..he's afraid that when i get angry i might jz initiate a divorce later on.. i told him that i'd change because i really wanted to setup a family with him.. i really wanted to build my life with him.. bt he's nt convinced.. i dont mind proving to him that i am really changed... bt now i am feeling hurt because when we both go out, yes we are like a couple .. hold hands and all bt still our relationship is kept in the dark.. not particularly in the dark bt our status is single and available.. something that i really mind a lot.. i am wondering WHY does it need to be kept in the dark.. nt like we are having affairs or anything.. i dont see the problem telling others that we are getting back on.. he does.. so now although i am happy being with him .. i am very mindful that our relationship is "platonic".. i really dont want to be called "friend"... but playing a gf kinda role.. and i still am quite hurt tht he doesnt call or msg me during weekdays when we dont meet..only when we meet, he treats me like his gf..i am afraid that later on, this relationship turned into a "Friends with benefit" relationship.. i really dont want it to happen.. yes i know i am stupid.. he's said that he needed some time to sort out what he wanted in life.. if he really wanted to go ahead with me.. i give him time.. bt till when.. i wonder till when shud i wait.. i dont want to leave him again..and now i am having insecurities that he might be chasing other girls (cause he is SINGLE now) and having me on weekends.. although i know that he is not that kinda person, i am having this insecurities when i think about our relationship.. what should i do.. when is the cutoff time?.. i've asked my friend on this.. he says that both of us are now in a safe mode zone.. when everything is still going smoothly.. there will be a time when either 1 of us pushed the button to either stop this or get on with it.. ultimately yes there will only be 2 solution and end to this.. jz that nobody knows when..
  3. memory lane... actually i've always got whatever i wanted easily.. there's nothing much that i'd die for or that i've always wanted.. life is smooth for me .. jz that relationship portion nt that good ni.. i also dunno what is my interest to be honest.. everythinhg is ok for me.. its like everything aso is jz normal.. nothing really captures me.. i think group trips are fine... which org to join??
  4. i think this what i am going to do.. the thing is that the breakup is hurtful nt the main item contributing to my problem.. its the loneliness thats killing me.. so thats y im asking what kinda activity or clubs to join..
  5. i have so many ppl telling me to enjoy ur life.. i now realize that life is best enjoyed when shared.. and when i mention share it means shared with the person closest to u.. yes that would make up a partner to share with..i do hang out with my friends bt then the feeling is jz different.. and my friends might not always be there for me i am trying to make myself happier.. i join classes, i go for facial.. i do always go online bt i am so freaking scared of ppl who have bad intentions online as we read from the papers daily .. recently been contacting many of my friends randomly.. bt they are busy.. or have plans of getting married .. or have babies to care for.. have thir own family.. makes me feel even worst..
  6. i am lonely to the bone.. im 26 this year and growing.. i have just broken up with my ex .. the relationship lasted 2 years.. been thru loads and felt that the guy is really not my type.. its all over.. i am feeling sad not because i cant leave him.. simply sad because i am lonely.. i dont look forward to weekends.. i hate weekends.. i have nothing to do.. i did sign up for some fitness classes bt then didnt seem to meet new peple that much.. i am really an introvert person.. i dont warm up to people i jz know so easily.. i am a stay at home person.. so my group of friends are really small.. am working now so the people that i meet also is really very small grup oni.. usually married or attached.. i dont know where to look for single people to be friends with let alone be partners...
  7. well... i had my period already.. such a scare... i think too much?... yah im nt going to put myself in this situation anymore...
  8. im back... done the operation already... sigh.. its been such a difficult week... i owe a lot to my parents when i was hospitalized.. anywhow.. i DID IT with my bf on the 15th may and my period is supposed to come on 26th... bt it havent come yet.. im going nuts.. what do u girls think are my chances of getting pregnant?.. he had worn condoms ALL the time everytime and he says he ejaculates outside of me.. im nt sure izzit because of the entire weeks ups and downs causing my hormons to go mad and therefore causing the period cycle to change or tat i've really conceived?.. i jz had the surgery on my breasts to remove the lump and truthfully i am quite traumatized on that.. i dun think i'd be able to cope with another life changing event like getting pregnant before marriage.. i do admit that sometimes i think i have mild depression.. i cry myself to bed.. i told my bf yesterday cause i cant sleep thinking of this and he jz brushed me off saying there's nothing that he can do .. and he dunno y my period hasnt come.. he is so freaking relaxed and didnt even show me some concern.. all he said was there is only 2 possibilities, either u are late or ur pregnant.. what u want me to do... i was sooo pissed with that statement.. yes, my actions relates to consequences.. i blame myself on causing this much of grieve to myself.. i cant take this no more... seriously.. yesterday the thoughts of ending it there and then was quite true... was looking at the ceiling fan thinking if it could hold my weight... bt then suddenly i thought of my parents... they cared for me sooo much when i was in the hospital, if i were to let go jz like that then how about them... they loved me so much.. how can i not love them back... i realized i was so selfish at tht point of time ... bt im still worried...im going for a medical checkup for the new company that im joining on 31st may and definitely they will check for me being pregnant.. i cant take it if they reject me and tells me that "sorry we cant take u, ur pregnant".... this is going to be another hard blow on me... now itself my emotions are all haywire... depression will come haunting me every nite... im so mad at myself.. it was a bad mistake i made.. i can only blame it on myself...
  9. well... i get disoriented at some point because people are jz buzzing at my ear.. i was asked... if it wasnt because of my mom nagging, do i see myself with this guy?... i'd say yes and no at times... i was recently informed by my doc that i have to remove the lump in my breasts so... at the same time i was also talking to my bf that i wanted to let go because of my mom's views and i'd b very sanfu in between ... he jz said 1 word, what is done is done and now it is not time to talk about breaking up... it is time that u need lotsa support from ur family, ur bf.. lets talk about that (breaking up) later when ur healed... i jz kept quiet.. i think 1 of the posters here was right i was finding ways to break with him.. i can be very extreme.. i dunno why.. when i feel that things arent going my way then i straightaway ask myself what the hell are u thinking.. u deserve some1 better... and then when he is showing me support and guidance i can tell myself how lucky u are to have such an understanding bf... so supportive.. i think im going nuts.. yes i am at times desperate.. i am desperate in people showing me affection because all my life my parents, my mom, my dad has been treating me like a princess (i know its bad because i am sooo spoilt when i get mad.. this is the bad side of me...) ... some ppl cant stand it .. some can..
  10. Dear sisters, Im really really feeling down and sad right now.. it all started previously when i started noticing that my period was a lot lesser then usual and i had abdominal cramps so i decided to c the doc which was today.. went to the hospital to consult the doc.. i know that the doc which is a gyne will definitely ask me if i am sexually active or not.. yes, im nt married yet and i am sexually active however, my main concern is that my mom!!.. i know she is concerned on me and im sooo afraid my nightmare will come true that when i enter the consultation room, she insist to follow... thats what happened today.. she asked me previously did i do it bt i lied to her.. i said no... today when the doc finally asked, i said yes.. and there she is in the consultation room.. now all hell break loose.. she's from a kampung therefore, the kampung mentality is still there.. girls cannot give their virginity before marriage.. then she started her verbal abuse against me (she has been verbally abusing me ever since i started with this guy) ... started to say that im so cheap ... and started to think thats y he didnt marry me yet because i've given it to him thats y he doesnt bother about marrying me.. bla bla bla.. i feel sooo suffocated... i feel that it is my right to have my privacy and it is my rights to have my own life and secrets.. im 25 already ... i will be her daughter forever bt i want to grow up and decide on my own ... i sms-ed my bf and told him that during the checkup my mom already knows that we both are sexually active, and there is a lump in my uterus... it can be a baby it can be jz normal meat... i've asked the doc and the doc says no, babies dont grow in that area of the uterus its more likely a meat only.. so i decided to test my bf saying that it can be early pregnancy... he mentioned that he will be responsible over it bt he wants me to confirm 100% that it is a baby before he makes the next move... and i told him that now my main concern is my mom who is abusing me mentally and i jz feel so bad.. he jz say no matter what i will support and love u we face this together.. the problem now is that im at my home and he's at HIS HOME... he is nt the person who is being verbally abused... he's nt the person who has to face this... i regret that i didnt strongly push my mom away when she wanted to follow me... i tried to stop her bt she insisted to join... however, i dont think i can stand this abuse any longer... what should i do?... i feel that it is best to breakup with my bf and jz be single for the rest of my life because im pretty sure my mom wont be able to like my bf at all considering the fact that she knows wht happened now... and over the years no matter how good my bf tries to be or tries to keep her happy she will never be happy and satisfied over him... both parties will suffer... on the other hand, i feel like if i were to breakup with him, the abuse wont stop there because she is HERE... im living with her and as long as she still breathes she will continue to haunt me with hurtful words.. i totally regret bt what is done is done.. what should i do to stop my mom from telling me hurtful words to furthur degrade me... ever since i started dating with him (its been 1.5 yrs now) she has never stopped mocking me and degrading me till i feel like to run away from her... get as far away as i can.. i dont hate her, jz cant stand it anymore.. i didnt buy a car because all these while im using the family car.. i bought a house and its going to be ready next year end.. should i start to buy a 2nd hand car now and when my house is ready, i shall move in there alone...??... is this a good idea?... i was planning to rent it out and gain some investment over it.. seems like the future for me is bleak now..
  11. wow skye.. this video is a good lesson for me... as quoted from the guru "If you love your partner, u should not deter him from doing what he likes to do"... this is truly applicable for me.. because all this while he mentioned that he is truly passionate on his agri business but i kept preassuring him by saying it is tough, dirty and too much of a risk for him.... by doing that, yes the guru is right.. i am using my bf for him to do something that i like.. it only shows how selfish i am because i love myself more then i should love him... another quote is "I have to trust him"... i havent really reached this stage yet as i jz dont have that 100% confidence in him yet.. trust is heavy for me for the time being..
  12. hi, 1st of all i'd say sorry if i offended anybody here by saying stuff bout local grads.. i didnt mean to say that local grads are not good... im taking an example of the local uni fees compared to foreign uni fees is much more expensive which translates to explain that his family is poor because cant afford to send him to a better college / uni... i didnt mean to offend anybody who happens to be from the local uni ya... my apologies if there are any misunderstandings.. back to my situation, actually i want him and i want him to be successful... reason being is because he is really a nice guy.. even though he knows that my mom doesnt really like him bt then he still buy gifts like for the recent mother's day he bought cake for my mom.. and when i mentioned that i wanted to buy something back for him mom, he said no need lah... and his family welcomes me and treats me as though i am their daughter .. thats some consolation lah.. its only that im having the insecurities with him as in i dont know if he will make it or not.. he cares for me like no other... he cares for my feelings.. call me selfish, call me materialistic ... im really worried for our future together.. yes, some of u are right i do not want to be the sole bread winner... i can share the expenses like groceries, food bt then i still feel that both have to play our parts.. i do not want to provide for him... and i foresee that he starting the business is going to be a tough2 time to get thru it...and i really dont like guys to open their hands and ask money from me.. i jz feel like as if they are jz finding the easy way out of getting money from others instead of finding ways to get it themselves... CFA is right.. i can only blame myself if i were to marry a poor guy and i do not want it to happen to me.. the more i worry the more REALISTIC it becomes.. i dont think i am young anymore.. i am 25 already.. my 2 besties are married already... and of course i get jealous upon hearing that their hubby brought them to here and there for holidays, etc.. actually deep down, i do mind that i earn more then him loe.. i dunno mayb its the pshycology thingy or mayb because it is the way im brought up.. i dunno bt i cant stand it when guys earn less then me and it is me who have to fork out money each time we go for dates like dinner, movies... he pays bt most of the time it would be on a freeking budget nt something that i'd like ... i'd like going to fancy places.. overseas holiday.. thats my lifestyle because we can afford.. yes i have a bad habit of comparing .. because everybody beside me does that.. comparing what house u buy.. comparing how expensive it is.. comparing where u go for holidays, comparing how good is ur bf.. comparing how much ur bf earns.. i have friends who told me look for a richer guy lah.. look for a guy who is capable, etc etc... so many words came to my ears and it hurts.. it hurts real bad..im soft hearted.. i will sometimes bt poisoned by those words hurled towards me i have people beside me who look down on me because my bf doesnt earn that much.. i have people who give me the looks when i told them my bf seldom buy gifts for me.. i have people who say that u deserve better then this guy.. i know i am whining.. and if u were to ask me what i want?... i cant give u an answer because i really dont know.. i seriously dont know where am i going.. where am i heading.. bt i can guarantee u that i want a lifestyle as what i have NOW.. with my current family's lifestyle.. to be honest most of the guys my age is already taken some already married.. and i dont have a life.. i work my ass off to sustain the lifestyle i want.. i work hard.. i sacrifice my time.. i never went for outings anymore.. i never meet up with my friends anymore..i never join their activities anymore and now because everybody knows i work late, they never did call me to join them already.. any time i have is with him... or if he's busy, i will be staying at home sleeping..
  13. ok i am new here too.. and i'd just like your opinions... and possibly advice.. im having 2nd thoughts now that i am almost 1.5 years with my current bf.. to start off, my mom doesnt like him because he's coming from a poor family, he drives an old car, grad lah bt from a local uni and basically my mom sees him as a poor ass his family's condition also poor 1... which to certain extent i agree that he is nt as well off as some of my friends.. he could afford to buy house, car bt he doesnt want to because he wants to start his own business.. he's going to do some agri business in which if i really marry him, i will have to relocate to kampung.. all my life im a city person.. until this day my mom is still saying that im going to suffer staying in those rural places.. doing nothing... poor kampung.. from city going to kampung.. it still happens now itself and still torture me with words that a mom will never say... on the other hand, im starting to feel that he might or might not be serious in starting the business.. he always say that he wants to buy land to setup his business...bt its been 1.5 years already still saying looking for land.. and when i started searching online for him, giv him all the info ask him to call the agent, he say the pic there seems like nt suitable for agri.. no need to call lah.. if they want to sell they will put the info.. this and that.. and i straightaway had the feeling that he's nt PROACTIVE... i scolded him saying how are u going to be a successful person when ur soo lazy to even call and ask... i ask him are u having any plans... he's says finding the land is his plan...and no plan else.. i know he's finding and he always go and c the land bt then no suitable 1.. i am super pissed because i am waiting for him to start his business be stable then oni marry.. in this case, when will i have to wait?.. im 25 this year.. and im having a stable income every month.. if i change job then my salary will be higher then his already and then of course when i get higher pay, i will expect a better lifestyle.. bt wit him, its going to be the same old lifestyle that i have when im jz a fresh grad... there's a lot more of his stinginess and my mom dont like me to be with him... i dont want to let go because i dont want to be alone.. im nt very pretty and im afraid im going to be alone forever if i let him go.. he's got his plus side as well... with him, its the insecurities, the financial unstability, the jealousy that my friends can go holiday, go restaurant and me?.. i have to go hawker when with him because everytime he says no money.. need to save...and i myself can afford something better... he's told me he wants to marry me and we went to checkout the diamond ring.. i like the ring which is about RM3k & i feel that 3k is ok for once in a lifetime bt at that time when i was looking at the ring, he jz sat and act as though he was not intrested.. didnt even ask Q to the salesperson to know more about the diamond ring.. actually im angry because its like me who is sooo eager to buy the ring instead of him.. only for 1 day we went around looking at rings then he know that diamond rings are at least thousand and above, after that the next day i say lets go there and c.. he said dun wan lah... and i have a feeling tht he didnt want to look at rings anymore.. i tried asking for breakup bt in the end we got back together... asking as in not formal lah.. jz telling him that i wan a break..and he's nt willing to let me go easily... i have thought of really going serious and telling him i wan breakup bt then i know im nt strong enough to live it up.. and i know im not going to be happy living a not so good lifestyle when i myself can provide better for myself... i also wonder what if he goes big in his business.. what if he really made it?... i only need to stay on this few years which i dunno for how long.. what should i do?...
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