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saffron

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About saffron

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    Nonchalant Novice
  • Birthday 05/23/1983

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    Female
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    Malaysia
  1. hi margarita, erh... age factor perhaps (29 or early 30s shd be ideal for 1st child, in my humble view). the phenomena has changed after the earlier incidence. anyway, some modification was made. once erection occured, i instead played the role of putting "it" into my part as opposed to him looking for mine (using the girl on top position). so far ok, we managed to do it this way. the reason why i helped do it instead is because HB seems to have difficulty finding my spot even though i have guided him, he still hasn't mastered the art of searching. at this moment, i wonder how come in the case of couple where both H+W are visually-blind, both are nonetheless able to have intercourse correctly i guess sex needs a lot of instinct as opposed to visual capability. also, i humbly opine that things like watching porn doesn't really help, or else imagine people from ancient times without such "entertainment", LOL. porn is largely unrealistic, i.e. most don't truly reflect what most ordinary ppl naturally do... maybe it helps in stimulation, but it doesn't teach how to do intercourse correctly because everything looks easy on the screen. just like seeing a professional pianist playing difficult piano pieces as if they're child's play. with the new modification, intercourse worked out. generally able to last more than 30 mins... some enjoyment still possible, finally (fingers crossed). however, HB's ejaculation is still inconsistent at the moment... occured only once during intercourse so far. but strangely, "E" was easy (within 15 mins) when i gave HB a handjob instead of intercourse. ' in the meantime, more needs to be explored & i knw we have to be patient in allowing opportunities to discover and learn within reasonable time. only if all these don't work out, then may need to consider medical advice.
  2. 12. The saying "blood is thicker than water" should not come into picture in any family relationship... whether it's your own son / daughter / DIL / son-in-law, please try your best to be fair & love them all like they're your own children.
  3. hi folks... thanks for sharing your advices. :) after giving in a break, hubby & i began rebuilding our strategy. we only had foreplays without intercourse for a few days last week, before we attempted to do foreplay plus intercourse 2 days ago. i noticed that reading up & gaining greater understanding of the human anatomy and how things work help a lot... on hubby's part where he needs to knw the exact location & direction to insert correctly & wasting less time to look for the spot. both hubby & i are novices in this area. we're more enlightened now that we finally managed to do it better. the foreplay part took quite long, more than half an hour... intercourse-wise took a surprisingly smooth & short time for insertion. it wasn't a complete session as hubby had not ejaculated during intercourse, nonetheless i enjoyed intercourse better this time. i followed robbie's advice here... like ensuring that both hubby & i are fully-energetic before attempting, and placing greater emphasis in foreplay to stimulate our bodies into better preparation for intercourse. hubby likes to take it orally on me, but im very scared to do anything oral with his part (dunno why i always have a lil phobia abt playing oral with my hubby)... so i only used my fingers & still experimenting with various strokes from my imagination to play the trick. looking forward to improve before TTC in the future...
  4. This forum is the best place to express experience, emotions, etc... and here's just to share. Abt a mth ago, my PIL, hubby & i went to the restaurant for booking arrangement of our wedding luncheon. Besides food, the restaurant also acts as agent for its customers who want to do invitation card printing. We're given a form to fill in - names, phone numbers, date, time, etc. Then came the part to fill in names in Chinese. I'm from sekolah kebangsaan background, but writing my name in chinese was no problem. i can write some chinese as i have learnt some from extra class when i was 7 - 9 y.o. However, when it's time to write my dad's name in Chinese, i had some difficulty. my dad's name is very rare & the writing isn't easy. i can recognise his name in chinese character, but can't write it out. So i told my in-laws frankly & asked if they can help me since they've studied chinese & shd be better than me. And my MIL laughed, remarked "aiyo, u really so cha, your dad's name also dunno how to write". I knw she meant no harm, not even insult as my MIL is the honest & straightforward type, but the statement was hurtful. Esp since she knew that unlike her & her kids, i've not studied chinese in school. Is it my fault that i was placed in SK as opposed to SJKC as a kid? But the thing was, both my PIL and hubby also had difficulties writing my dad's name (my dad couldn't be there that day). Finally, i called my dad to ask him the words of his name, the captain waitress at the restaurant helped to write it out, and it was correctly done! Having said the above, I'm not abt to revenge at my MIL. Neither am i saying "padan muka" for laughing at me. It's just that, moral of the story is not to quickly jump conclusion to think that a DIL is stupid just because she's unable to write her dad's name, esp when the person laughing at her is not any better than the 'stupid' DIL. I didn't respond to my MIL's laugh, just remained cool although deep inside was boiling... not worth to argue on who is smart & who is not over small thing. But i did complaint to my dad & my dad just told me to ignore the remark. Maybe i was over-sensitive, but i also realise the importance to be diplomatic with my ILs... but diplomacy sure has its limit. Perhaps need more patience & good strategy in the "game".
  5. hi again... he's been in the part-time abt 4 yrs ago... sleeping only 5 hrs nightly. but strangely, i didn't notice any sign of exhaustion on him, until i starting to notice that he's sleepy at times nowadays. you may be right, he might be stressed probably somethg i do not know. a close family member told me that men do fail sometimes. i'll definitely take heed of the advice to seek medical opinion.... but will allow 2 more attempts & see whether any change or otherwise. pretty unbelievable that such failure actually results in so great a frustration... almost as if detached from hubby.
  6. Hi everyone, I had initially wanted to post my question under "Sex & Intimacy..." but was unable to do so. Here's a question & all comments are appreciated on the issue as follows: My husband & I were married (ROM) this May, after going out for 2 years. By freedom of choice, we both had agreed to practise chastity (no pre-marital sex). Following our ROM, we had our intimate intercourse twice over the weekend (successfully), from June until now. Reason for being inactive is because hubby is doing 2 jobs that require him to wake up very early and he thus has to sleep early during weekdays. We only plan to move in together after AD in November. At the moment, we live in our homes which are very near - 2 doors away. However, during the most recent attempt (last weekend) to have intercourse, I was (quietly) disappointed that hubby was unable to perform. How so? Erection occured, but as soon as penetration was attempted, erection was immediately lost. All in matters of about 5 mins. Second attempt, erection was regained, but immediately lost after another attempt to penetrate. Third attempt, still the same. This happened on both Sat & Sunday. All throughout, I remained calm & did not pressure him for fear of making things worse. In the end, we didn't have any intercourse. I suspect that his sleepiness was the culprit behind this. Coz he appeared sleepy during his attempts last weekend. Such sleepiness is not surprising - due to his job nature, he wakes up at around 3.30 am & sleeps at 10.30pm... surely he must be tired. And dishearteningly, the situation had caused me to gradually lost interest in intimate stuff with hubby. I no longer enjoyed my intimate relationship with hubby. The marriage is still so young, but our intimate relationship already felt so old. I'm 28, he's 6 yrs older. I've gently persuaded hubby to give up his part-time job which requires him to wake up early in the wee hours & tired as a result. But ultimately I do not know what's his stand although he said "see how... yes, i know that i'll have to quit one day". Vague. I've once told him "if you want to try to have any baby after AD soon, you shd ensure you're energetic, not too tired to ML". Hubby is not highly paid, but income from his fulltime job is sufficient to cover his daily expenses. From his part-time job, he earns 500 monthly. Being hardworking is a good quality, but we've got to take care of ourselves too. It's a small sum for that kind of early hours & hard work involved. Money isn't everything, and can't buy happiness. For a lil extra, is it worth jeopardizing one's intimate relationship with a spouse? Of course I'm only suspecting exhaustion as one of the possible reasons for his inability to perform. I do not rule out physical or psychological factors, but at this juncture and since we've had 2 successful intercourses before, I put these are second/third possibilities. I'm giving him some time, after taking plenty of rest, sleeping adequately & eating well and the situation still persists, I think I've got to persuade him to seek medical advice. But meanwhile, I'm still unhappy in silence... can't show it to him coz don't want to add stress to him. Have anyone heard of / come across such phenomena? Thanks.
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