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anise

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About anise

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  1. Dear all, Would like to share & vent out a frustration here... My workplace (in kl) just held a 2-days conference outstation in melaka recently and being listed as a participant with compulsory attendance needed by my superiors, I thought it's okay to go. But i didn't bring family because i was to live in a twin-sharing room. I have a 7 months old son whom my PIL care for during the day when my husband and I wrk. Here's a background. Other than being a premature baby (by 10 weeks), my child is ok so far (touch wood...). But he has a habit of crying out loud before going to bed at night almost daily, but with reasons unknown - not because of wind in the tummy and so on. Otherwise he's ok. In my absence for the first time after becoming mother of my child, and only for 2 days, I was shocked that my husband and MIL did something without my knowledge. Even if the thing done is so-called harmless, but shouldn't they have the courtesy to at least let me know? I was back home from the conference in melaka yesterday. when attending to the child at night, i saw red dots on his body from face to feet. both on the left and right side, symmetrically. curious, i asked my husband if he'd seen it. At first he said "nothing what". I showed him. Again, he said "nothing". I had no idea what the dots are, and so suggested that we see a doctor before more red dots come out. My MIL came into the room when she heard the baby crying. while i appreciate her kindness in wanting to comfort the crying baby by sacrificing her sleep, i was quite disturbed by her act of wanting to take the baby from me as if i'm incompetent in comforting my baby. gotta be tactful, as i always tell myself and thus i didn't say anything. she can do what she likes and thinks she's comfortable with, no problem. then, i highlighted about the red dot thingy to her. only then i was told "your baby went for 'pak fo' (the chinese fire therapy), that's why got red dots lo". Oh my... why wasn't i told. doing it without my consent as a co-parent to the child is already not very appropriate, but keeping it concealed from my knowledge is .......................? What's in my husband's mind? Only then my husband said "yeah we sent him to 'pak fo' because he cried so badly on monday when you're not in". Honestly i didn't see any difference even after "pak fo". He still cries. Other than night time, my baby is ok looks generally comfortable and seldom cry in the day. Further, I thought the Chinese traditionally do "pak fo" for shingles case (popularly known as "sang seh", not for when babies make noises at night, right? pls correct me if i'm wrong. Anyway, the point is not whether "pak fo" is good or bad. But this is just one example of my PILs together with my husband make decisions unilaterally without letting me know anything until i find out by myself. In the midst of feeling hurt, I simply threw to my husband "yea lah, you got 2 pairs of eyes watching you at home i.e. his parents.... so you can simply ignore me who has no eyes watching me here". "you think the majority can do what you all like, but that's not the way no matter how well your intention is". I told him "like that means in future, i don't have to be here... you all can thrive well without me. But please remember to be fair, because no matter how stupid you think i am, it's unfair for you to deprive the kid of his mother's love by trying to "rebut-rebut" the kid all for yourselves.... blood is thicker than water is it?". Any advice on this issue please? Thank you...
  2. Hi chubbyangel, Hopefully you have found the best solution for the issue by now... but anyway here's sharing my 2 cents. But first of all, it's best to consult a medical professional as to what are the best ways to go about the diabetis and getting pregnant... and to obtain advice as to the possible genetic factor that causes it. Yes, most of us working folks around KL-PJ reach home late due to traveling time and as a result dinner tends to get delayed too. Though ideally dinner should be 4 hrs before bedtime, it's not practical in our cases or else will be going to bed after mid night everyday. Finding time to exercise is a challenge to me as well. The only efforts I have tried and am still forcing myself to do so far is to try to use weekend for some brisk walking sessions, and on working days, using more stairs rather than 100% escalator/lift. Diet-wise... Carbohydrate is a crucial source of energy. But go for complex carb instead of simple carb... e.g. wholemeal bread instead of white, brown rice, etc. Be cautious of hidden sugars in food may or may not taste very sweet like certain fruits (e.g. durian, mangoes, mandarins, etc..), beverages (look out for "high fructose corn syrup"), pastries and snacks. Avoid oily food whenever possible. Periodic self-monitoring of blood glucose at home is a good way of keeping abreast of how well-controlled the diabetis is. During my pregnancy, I have attended a talk which touches on GDM (gestational diabetis). GDM is just the same as being diabetic, the only difference is it happens during pregnancy and GDM means a higher risk of becoming diabetic later in life. You're right, diabetic mothers tend to have bigger babies. But if a diabetic mother controls her blood glucose well enough, the risk of big baby should be significantly reduced. Big babies of diabetic mothers are more at risk for diabetis. Which is even more important for proper blood glucose control during pregnancy. In order to ensure the best for your baby, do discuss your concerns with your doc and seek his/her advice before you plan to conceive... or your doc may refer you to a suitable specialist for that purpose. Good luck to you! :)
  3. Hi everyone, Appreciate if anyone is able to share your view on this.... Intro: In May, I have given birth to my 1st child prematurely at 29 weeks and 3 months ago, he had been discharged from NICU with a generally clean bill of health. I work full-time and while working, my MIL helps to take care of my baby. (Note: I'm unable to seek assistance from my mother who's formerly a nurse experienced in caring for newborns after her demise) The reason why I have not considered daycare centers/nannies is because my baby is very small and most caretakers are not very keen to risk themselves to look after premature babies due to the need for extra care. And neither do I think it's a good idea at the moment. Issue: Babies should generally not be exposed to smokes/fumes regardless of source. Especially premature babies, for their lungs may not be as perfect as other full-term babies and thus require special precaution. Do correct me if I'm wrong. The following issue may be controversial, so I'd like to apologise in advance if it offends anyone here. I respect all religions as much as everyone's freedom to religion. My PIL are Buddhists who also practise some Taoism elements and therefore, like the majority of Chinese households, they light up incense sticks twice daily. I have no qualms over that, not at all.... as long as the house is well-ventilated with windows and sliding door properly-opened. However my only concern is: In the mornings at about 6.30am, my IL light up (about 10 sticks) incense at the altar. By that time, my child is usually kept at the living room where the altar is located. Windows are slightly-opened (no problem with that, because I'd open up the windows myself every morning when I wake up). But I'm a little concerned when I see that they prefer to close the wooden door (the door outside is grilled door) until the day is bright for fear of mosquitoes. As a result, the living room feels stuffy and smoky. BTW, the living room at home is small because we live in a low-cost house. Logically, mosquitoes aren't deterred from coming into the house if they really want to come in. Anyway, I don't think that mosquitoe is an issue because I have yet to get bitten by any since I lived there 1 year ago. I have read about the various arguments and texts regarding exposure to incense sticks in the long run. As babies grow rapidly, I wonder if it's advisable for a baby to inhale incense fume in a poor-ventilated place. When it comes to premature babies, the main concern is always the lungs. To-date, I have spoken to my husband about it. He had responded as if he'd ensure that the living room is properly-ventilated by keeping the wooden door opened. Then one day, I discovered that he's actually indifferent about it. Case in point, this morning, I left my ILs' house early while my husband's still at home then. Instead of leaving immediately, I happened to turn back because I just saw a few leaflets in the mailbox and had wanted to remove them. There, I saw the wooden door nicely closed with my child inside. I was sad and even furious at the same time. I called my husband and asked him why's the door shut after I went out. Speaking of which, my husband is not the type who's interested in gaining knowledge apart from what's related to his job, and dishearteningly, thus remains ignorant about many things - health, social issues, etc. Prior to this, I have hinted to my ILs too, about the importance of good ventilation and smoke-free environment for premature babies, and that smoke includes all sort of smoke, not just cigarette. I don't want to sound possessive, suffocating, or queen control. If I keep pestering over the same issue everyday, surely people will get very fed-up with me, and perhaps wish that I'm not around. If I were to bring the issue for discussion with my PIL, how should I go about it? I don't want to end up being told "we have raised your husband and your SIL with this kind of environment & they're healthy adults today, so what's the problem?". Or worse, getting sensitive with me for offending religious practices. My PILs are generally ok with me, although like most typical elderly folks, they have many things to say about various matters, including child care. I appreciate their good intention, though not all their views are applicable today. That, I'll probably share more here later on. Although I wish to be more frank with them, I realise that I have to do it very tactfully. This is because whether I like it or not, I am very dependent on them at the moment. Not just in helping to look after my baby during my office hour, but also in helping my dad who lives nearby - my dad currently has some physical limitation due to muscular problem, my MIL cooks and caters for my dad, while my FIL brings lunch for my dad everyday without fail when I'm not at home. I have to admit they're really wonderful people... and so, I further do not want to risk offending them over minor issue like room ventilation. But I also have my child's health interest in place, so I can't just sit adamant about it. Please feel free to share your advice and views.... whether positive or negative. Thank you :)
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