Found this topic and I would to share something. BTW, I'm a new father to my 1mth 2week old son. I've posted some of his photos in the Baby Photos thread. Check him out.
I would like to share my experience from a father's point of view:
1. First of all, formula milk is "cow" milk. Why should our baby be drinking cow's milk instead of mother's milk? 2. Mother's milk is thin. It is easy for baby to digest. It is not an easy journey. Your baby will need to change at least 10 - 15 diapers a day. 3. Baby sucking breast milk is a tough job. Your baby will get tired after a few minutes. Wake him up to continue. 4. Don't stop stimulating for breast milk. Your supply will decrease even if you skip one session of expressing your breast milk. That happened to my wife. 5. Eat the right food. So far, I noticed that fish and papaya helps. Yeeyee, I will take note of fenugreek.
For the sake of your baby health. Never give up on breastfeeding. Get your husband to be part of this incredible journey.
It's not about when your partner passed away whether if you choose to follow or not. It comes naturally. She just went away like that, no suicide or whatever.
Anyway, something that I like to share especially how we treat our partner, our loved ones and probably our children.
I believe a lot have shared in here what happened to them and seeking for advice. What I see is how we treat our partner, how we take our partner, our loved for granted. An example can be a simple promise to have dinner together but cancel it at the last minute because of work commitment.
We have seen some cases where the parent promised their children for a vacation trip or to the places they like most. Somehow, this promise can never be fulfilled even after a lot of years.
We expect our loved ones to understand what we are going through, be understanding of our excuses but we ourselves neglected their disappointment.
I have been working like no days and no nights. It has been a few times forcing me to choose between my health, my family and my work. The choice is obvious right? But how many of us can actually do it when it matters.
This about continuously doing something for someone you love rather than expecting your partner to do things for you.
Finally, probably the thread starter should put it the other way round... "Can you live without your HB?" In my opinion, you just want to hear something sweet from your HB rather than accept the cruel fact that your HB cannot live altogether when you really are not around.
From what I have learned, there are a few types of people in general:
1. Controllers In men, they are the superhero. I'm the best, I'm right. Love to be in control and their decisions are fast. These type of people are bad listeners.
2. Supporters Supporters won't come and take charge. They are the type who will quietly support from behind. Supporters hesitates. Want to go? No lah and then suddenly they will say "might as well go lah". Controllers hate supporters and vice versa. Supporters are the total opposite of controllers.
3. Analyzers Analyzers tend to analyze everything. They will go into very detail information.
4. Promoters Promoters are easily spotted. Promoters are usually the center of attraction. The laugh a lot and they almost like to say "hi" to everyone. However, promoters hates details and they are the opposite of analyzers.
See what group is your husband fall into and handle him accordingly. If your HB is an analyzer, give him a lot of information, he will love it. But from the way you describe your HB, he is more likely to fall into the Controllers group. If he is a controller, be soft, be vulnerable with him. He will definitely fall for you again.
Effective communication is about getting a message to another person effectively. If you think by doing MSN, YM and talk is not effective, then change it. If he doesn't get your message, what's the point of communication?
You have been with your HB for 7 years and you still don't know him? I bet has not been listening to you from day 1.
Asking a man to choose between his job and his wife. It is a tough choice. You are lonely and your HB is always in outstation during weekdays. He is always been like that before both of you got married. Probably to him, it wasn't an issue previously why is it an issue now? It is only either he change job and stay put in Klang Valley or you follow him. This is a tough choice.
Something to ponder:
1. Why communication between both of you will always end up in quarrel? I believe that one of the party is offended already. 2. What kind of topic in the communication? It is no point talking about traffic, work, colleagues & etc. It should be both of you.
Finally, don't even bring up the separation of divorce again if you intend to keep this relationship.