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Everything posted by Vievie

  1. Hi Yoyo , Thanks for the info . Do you mind share with me usually who is supposed to pay what and what . Cuz I am afraid that I will hurt my partner feeling or either of us . For facial , pedi and medi , you think how many days in advance we should do ? Where do you get the info , any website for the DIY things that you do ?
  2. Hi , I have my wedding date fix in Jan 2013, I have done part of it and right now I think I stuck because I dont know what to do. I just need some advise what else should I prepare and any other things that I need to do before the day . Anything that I have missed out ? Any list that you guys have that can share with me on what to do ? What I have done - Booked the venue - Booked the Bridal for pre wedding, , 4 months before the actual date only need to go for the photo shooting - Name list almost done , only 4 months before only they will ask for the list the hotel need our name list . - Bought ring already What's in my mind and confused What I must do 1 day before the pre wedding picture ? What I must I do 1 day before the actual day ? Have not discuss the expenses with partner, any idea usually who is paying what ? The dowry for now what is the standard rate ? Any recommended place to get nice wedding heels ? Thanks for helping me ...
  3. I have a package to let go if anyone interested please let me know ....
  4. If i want to do outdoor shooting Nearby SS2 there got any nice outdoor place for shooting or not ? Cuz I dont want too far also . Scared of tired . Can I know those who went there for shooting , what about their selection of gown ? Many choices or not , or all old old 1 ...
  5. Hey guys Can help me on this , is this a good buy ? Lazare diamond with 18 k white gold , 0.36c / I / VS1 at Rm 6k
  6. So what should I do right now ? Should I just give me sometime to think about it or should I just make the first move to call it off .... how should I say this to him in the first place ?
  7. We dont use the ring after few months also , because for him , he's rough so he dont want to scratch the ring . But we do use it at special occasion . I told him to get a ring , which we can use it for daily , but until now he also never buy . Forget about it then . I talked to my MIL she did ask me what is pour problem . then I told her la ... then she said if can then just solve it , cuz its actualy small problem . She said that FIL is about the same attitude with my HB , she also tahan him for 30 over years already . She dare not ask the son anything also , because she said its our problem , and moreover she dont really know the whole story from begining , he never talk to her also about this .SO i think maybe its not fair for her to judge who is wrong and who is right . MY HB dont really talk to his mom , so the mom dont really know whats going on between us . Most of the time he talk to his dad , but his dad never tell the mom , so anything also the mom dont know until I tell her yesterday cuz I call to wish her Happy Mothers day . I have a feeling that his dad also side him , because his dad also a men , he will think that girls are all ridiculous just like the mom . His dad already have the perception that women are all the same . I think his dad also tell him , if me and him cannot togahter then just call it off . His mom & dad are also not in good condition , so my HB said he dont want to see himself like his parents . I think his dad influence him also . But MIL did mention , if really cannot then we will ask our family to sit down and talk about it . The other day one of his relative wedding , I know this earlier before we have problem , but he never ask me go also . Then his grandmother ask him about me , he did not mention that we are going saperate way , he just tell the grand mom that I am busy then I cannot attend . This is what I heard from his mom . I do not want her to really interfere because I afraid she might say the wrong thing and my HB will get mad and hate me more because I complain about him to his mom .
  8. Saying it its easy , but doing it its really hard . I am very confused right now . Sometimes I feel I want to put a fullstop and sometime I feel its been 8 years , whatever problem we try to solve it . We dont need to go to the dead end with a divorce ... I will need to wait till his last decision then I can judge , if he willing to come back to me , I need to make a deal with him , we both need to change and really need to talk about it . If he decide not to talk or not to come back then no point for me to cont with him ...
  9. Yes , really everyone of you all here really help me alot . I been reading thru and trying to absorb everything in . During this time when I am alone , I have learn alot mostly are from you guys . I have actaully talked to his mom about it , she dont even know what happen to us . Can the mother actually interfere in our relationship ? What are the things that a mom should tell the son if this happen ?
  10. I think I really sound stupid now , I do not know why I am doing all this stupid things for him and yet he dont appreciate it . I dont know I why I do this , I really dont understand my self . Like what one of you said , never give when you have not try . So I am trying my best to save this marriage and yet , still waiting for his reply . I think maybe this is the time of me to think all over again . Maybe before he tell me I will tell him . If I have made up my mind . Its true that I am sad here and he is enjoying out there > what ever he have now its just temporary , girls and friends around him .
  11. Bad news , today it's really not my day been crying from day till night . My grandma just passes away , I called my hb and he come meet me at my working place, he do nothing n talk nothing to me . Just see me crying n crying , after that we go for dinner , when I sat in his car I saw an eyelashes , I pretand that I don't see it . I am so pissed of . I am so sad yet I see things that I don't want to , we had dinner togahter but no talking . He told me he is going outstation tomorrow and I wanted to follow him ,but he keep on saying no and he even tell me that no one is going with him .he is alone , so I just tell him stupid reason thati need to go there no matter what to buy something , so he got no choice andge said that he will text me tonight .so I suspect that he is going with someone n need to call it off with that person . I did try to talk to him .I askedhi who is he mixing with recently and he said why should I bother , I told him that I am his wife I have the right to know . So if tomorrow I am going with him it's going to b a ffew hoours trip what should I do in the car ,? Definately he will not talk to me , what topic should we touch on so that won't make it worst ???
  12. Future you really cannot predict , maybe he will made it and maybe he wont If he made it and you still with him it will be a credit , but wht is he cant made it and he willb e suffering or maye you will need to support the family and it will be worst and when your husband are not earning better then you do , they will feel they are useless and we girls also deep in the heart we will compare as well .Such as why my friend can go travel , can go restaurant and I cant . As for me , my HB before I married him , he is very hardworking even he come from a poor family . That is why I marry him , I know 1 day he will become better and we will live in a better life . This is why I married him , after married he got his own business and everything went good until 1 day , things happend and the company went bankurp and I need to go everywhere to find money for him to pay back the debts . What can you predict anything in future ? If I dont marry him then I wont be in so much trouble , right ? But right now its too late . So who ever you married its already fated . Move on with what you really want in your heart , dont care about he will be good or he will be bad in future . Think for your self right now .
  13. Ok guys , I talked to him just now , I do not know why I have this guts to go to him today , cuz I cannot tahan seeinng myself crying everyday and every minute . If youask me to act in a sad movie I think I will get the award , I can cry in seconds and anywhere and anytime . I do not know why I drove directly to his work place with out realizing and I supposed to go there other way to my working place . When I am on my way to his work place I was shivering , so I walked in and he was busy doing something and I talk to him nicely can we talk . He said he is busy as usual he want to avoid it , and he talked it end up ugly like one of u guys mentioned , he throw things and raising up his voice and he dont want to talk about it and ask me to leave . I asked him do you still love me , he said NO . I dont know why I tak boleh tahan then I cried and then hug him , cry and cry and cry non stop until I cant even talk . After when I stop crying then I talk to him nicely what I want and what we should we if you want to continue this relationship . And this time when I ask him do you love me , he said yes , no matter what happened to us , even if we are getting a divorce he will always love me . So guys which should I believe in ? The earlier one when we had argument , he a said NO , dont love me or now YES he still love me . He did cried also when I cry , he still doesnt want to get back togather as he said he cant give what I want , like a luxury wedding , travel and some other things that he promised . He asked me to move on and get a better guy . I tell him that if we are getting back and we must change and do something about it , it will not be the same as the previous anymore . He have to change and to same goes to me . He said he need some to think about it , so after we talked , then he ask me to go back firsthe will let me know , so after the talk n the crying and everything I went to toilet to put back my make up , then I just leave without saying anything , I dnt think he even know tht I left . I neve say bye to him or talk to him either . Do you think this is the right way ? I wounldnt want to push him and make the decision right away. So now , whats next ? Should I wait for him to call me back or should I just call him ? When is the best time to ask him ?
  14. LAst time before ROm I found out that he have girl outside , last time I work in other state , even midnight we quarrel he will drive all the way 2-3 hours and waited for me outside my rented house . H will try to talk to me and aplogized . And now I am back to our hometown , my house and his are just 5 min away , he dont bother to come to my house and wait for me or want to make thigns better . I caught him many times he got other girls outsidee , last time he will cried and said sorry to me and he even knee down and say he will never do it again . But till now its the same , I sometimes think is it all guys are the same ? Should I just let him do it becasue its a nature ? As long as he loves me and care for me , I dont care , but things are not that simple and he dont even treat me right . If he really love me very mush I will think of closing my eyes and dont bother what he do outside . Iam human and have feeling and I have limits too . This kind of things keep on repeat , I dont know when he will stop this , even he said theres nothing , as he work late in clubs , he can pick up girl very easy . he lied to me I wont know also . When we quarrel he will always ask me to go find a better guy since he do so many mistake . Yes , even right now if I cry or what ever I do he dont bother already , men are very ego , he always act as he is right , when we try to talk he will always try to run , he will say ok i got to go now , he will alwasy stand and want to leave the room when I still not finish my conversation with him . Right now he have the fame , when ever he walk into the club is like he is the taiko , everyone will greet him and respect him . This is what he wanted , I dont blame him for tht , everyone wish to have this also , people respect u and greet u , everyone know who u are . But still when you go home u have to put it away , you cant expect me to do tht becasue he wasnt like this before .Unless he was like this when I first know him then its different . Right now he have alot people around him especailly the boss , he pray the BOSs like GOD ,that is why he feel that I am very troublesome and want to get rid of me , and he think that he can get younger girls , more prettier then me , but he never think taht those girls stick to him right now its becasue of his status in the club . Those girls will never understand him like I do , but for him he willthink that those girls understand him better then me , girls outside are always better then the wife becasue they dont stay togthater and do not have problems . .I wanted a home a family and I think its time because we been togahter for so long and I think he isnt ready becasue he still enjoying the night life . How long can he work there ? When he grow older can his body still stay up late ? One day IF the club close down or what ever might happen , can he still be this proud ? He told me he work there are for us , becasue he can earn better there , but I thoguht it supposed to make us better instead of getting us apart . He dnt need to work there actaully , the road its in his hand . He still have a proper job instead of working in the nightlife and complicatted job , his business failed once , but it doesnt mean that it will fail forever , and right now I am the one followng up his business and I am doing well , we just need to work things out togahter and I am sure it will do better then what he is doing right now . People there are mostly single parents , divorce and have complicated family background , those people are really influence him . But he like it . He just want fame , popularity thats what I can see now .
  15. Sometimes I feel guys are not mature enough .like when we girls get married we r really into it , we want to have a happy family , a loving husband , and later move on and have kids . Guys are different , for me I think they get married and still they go flirt outside and they never think of the wife feeling , they think no matter what they do the wife will forgive him . Then when the wife find out n we quarrel they will always think that the wife is so troublesome and thrn they will look for girls outside . Guys always compare outside girls with the wife , they think that the girls are always the best .If hb n wife have problem what can they do , mayb ur hb can only share prob with them , the only thing that the girl can do it's quietly listen n give some opinion , this make ur hb think that the girl understand him better then the wife do . But we as a wife we can't just sit n listen . We have to solve the problem , if ur hb die u will die too because we r a family . If ur hb die that girl outside got nothing to loose cuz it's none of her business. She don't give a damn if ur hb are on debt , on drug , or what ever worst senario u can think of . But as wife we are in the same ship , that's the different . After a night , I waited for his reply , and he no reply me , I think I should just go straight to him and ask him get the paper done . I think he is not willing to talk about it . If he do care he should have reply me last night . Last night I always tell my self that maybe he is bz that's y he reply late , but when I woke up this morning as I see my phone there's no reply yet . Its really tough to go thru this alone ., after 8 years relationship , shold I be happy or sad . Every moment every minute I am thinking about this problem , I feel my self getting 10 years older just with in this month because not been happy and still have to go on life , work , and still need to pretend like nothing happen when I am outside n with my family . Everyday when I get home I will lock myself in room , and I even bought a book of relationship / marriage and learning about it , why men n woman are so different .it might be too late to learn but at least if in future I found someone better I will understand men better . If he is still not willing to make better or solve things , I think it's not worth for me to go on with people like this , he don't deserve me . I can get someone better then him n treat me better in future , when we quarrel he always ask me to find someone better , well I think he mean it . I will find someone better or else being single isn't that bad too , I still have my family who loves me .
  16. I did SMS him tonight I said , when is the best time to meet because it's been a month already , but no reply ??? Haiz... I think it's gonna be the end of the world , I am thinking of giving up already , I am tired of all this relationship .
  17. Yes, he changed n he admitted that he change but just he is not so loving like previous . A friend if him it's also my friend actually asked him about our problems and just giving him some suggestion and did aak him is it there no other way besides divorce , he said to that friends it's our problem And ask him not to interfere . See he doesn't wNt to listen to other people sugustion either . You know even submiting the tax he doesn't want to do it , he think that his boss have a very powerful background so in future the government if Check on him the boss can kau Tim for him , see he is so into his boss that he thinks that the boss can back him up if he got anything happen to him .
  18. I am confused , I thought of SMS but I am afraid that he might say no to our meeting . If I just go at his place I am afraid that he isn't ready to talk . So how ?
  19. That is what I am doing it right now , I am trying to think rationally and I do not want to give up before I try for the last time . This will be out last conversation if we are going to end this that is why I am giving my self and him time and not to talk to him for a month . I do hope he will really think about it or maybe he already have the answer with him . I am just waiting for the last decision to make Or should I start by email him first ?
  20. I was thinking of going to meet him today , because I cannot tahan already , but not until you guys give me the best advise . I need to be ready with everything before I go for the battle . SO i need the bullets from you guys , please help . Thanks
  21. Wow , I was so touch that actually there's so many out there still care for my problem , I thought I was alone , but now I know I am not . Sorry for the late reply because I was reading and absorbing all the interesting replies . Well , I really do not know how to start and tell my problems . As you know its started 8 years back . Me and him dated for 4 years , we ROM then now another 4 years . He dont come from a rich family ,we struggle when we started and until today he is someone . I do not know why when his career is at the peak he wanted to separate everything from me . We used to have savings togather , and right now he said he wanted to have his own saving . I was working at the same office with him and he ask me to move out and he said this will be better because we wont argue more , because when we work together we do argue alot ,. So i moved out . And the company close down and now he had a new job at a club as a consultant . Things happen when he started to work under this so called ( Tai ko ) of a famous club, when he started he will always tell me about his boss , he bought this and that , money is not a problem for the boss , the boss have the power to do whatever he want , and somehow my HB had a quite high post in this company . So from what I feel its all influence from the boss and also the people around him . He always work late and also he will need to mix with his customer which is those young girls who go cubbing all night . The way he talk to me are different , what ever he said I must listen and when I am giving some suggestion he would not want to listen to me at all . So mean I cant even talk , whatever he said I must listen . Do you think its right ? He will use very hurt & rude words on me , I do not know why suddenly he change alot . I do found out that he is sms & email girls those girls that he met at the club and when I asked him he said its just his customer , he want entertain them because want them to go to the club for drink . So its something like a business . He cant stop that , is this right or wrong , am I too sensitive ? Or he is too over ? Last time when we quarrel he still will make an effort to get me back , call me , look for me . But not for now , when we quarrel he will just not talk to me ,and I call him he will off his phone . He is avoiding me and avoiding the truth . He do not want to face it . Until today its already 1 month , since the last day we had argument , I do not know when is the best time to talk to him , I am afraid that if I make the first move and talk to him it will make the situation worst . I do not know is he ready to talk about it or he still enjoying his party down there without me . Please advise me what should I ask him if I want to make the first move to talk about our situation .
  22. Me and my husband have been ROM for 4 years and no actual banquet yet, we are not staying together either. Recently we have been arguing and things are getting from bad to worst . It started last year around July 2009 , on and off we quarrel and we got back . We were thinking of getting a divorce right now . For the past few year whenever we quarrel we will talk to each other after a few days. But now things change , he blamed that I change and I blamed that he change. So thats no wrong or right for us . When we quarrel for the last time he said he wanted a divorce and after that day we quarrel we dont talk to each other anymore , it been about a month . We cannot communicate anymore , whenever we talk to each other it will end my arguing and blaming each other . I do not know what should I do , He wanted a divorce and yet there's no news from him . I do not know at his side is he actually seeking the lawyer or he is just enjoying the day with out me . Please advise and I am confused right now ? What should I do now ?
  23. What is that ? Why it happen ? Can tell me ah ?
  24. If I am not wrong la , Hair loss its cause by pressure is it ? Or we are getting older that is why our hair loss ? I also have this problem , mine is like many holes botak in my sculp . Once this hole ok meaning the hair grow back then the other hole come up again .
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