Chinese Tradition + Christian Wedding

[bluedolphin_kim85 0]

Hello everyone,

I am also a christian and so is my fiance. My family are also Christians while my fiance's parents aren't but i feel very blessed as they are very nice people and have not objected to any of our plans so far. I am happy to find a place where other christians can share here about the wedding plans and the chinese traditions. I also get confused by some of them. :)

For us, we are planning to hold the exchange of vows ceremony in the same place with our reception dinner which would be in a Chinese restaurant. So we plan to get guests to come earlier and hold all the bridal procession and the exchange of vows then later followed by the Chinese dinner. Guests would be seated in their assigned seats at the tables instead of rows of chairs during the exchange of vows ceremony. What do you think of this arrangements instead of the church ceremony in the morning followed by dinner in the evening?

We plan to do this mainly because our church is a little too small to accommodate all guests besides all our church members as my church is one of the smaller branches. So far i think this plan is okay. I asked some of my christian friends and they said that it seems practical. One of my friends also said that it saves the guests the hassle of dressing up for the morning event and redressing up again for the evening event. The other great thing is tat my fiance and i can cut cost on decoration as we only have to decorate one venue. Both of us are young with not much savings so this is a great thing for us.

Do share with me if u have any other suggestions or ideas for my arrangement of the events. I don't know anyone who have done this before so i'm a little afraid that there might be something i have overlooked by planning it out this way. Do share ya!

God bless...

[happi 0]

hi bluedolphin, good idea to have both ceremonies at some venue, same time. another option to make it look nicer is to have banquet chairs arranged to view the exchanging of vows at the front portion near the stage, followed by appetizers (buffet style) while the restaurant staff arrange the dinner tables again.

or u could have the chairs lined up to form the "aisle" so everyone has a nice view, also u can have yr guests seated by the aisle to hold a small bouquet of flowers, it'll look nice in the photos when u walk-in. u can distribute disposable cameras to yr "aisle" guests to snap pix throughout the session (or if they're close friends, request them to bring their digicams), that way u'll have a nice overall view of yr ceremony.

how many tables do u plan to have?

[bluedolphin_kim85 0]

hi bluedolphin, good idea to have both ceremonies at some venue, same time. another option to make it look nicer is to have banquet chairs arranged to view the exchanging of vows at the front portion near the stage, followed by appetizers (buffet style) while the restaurant staff arrange the dinner tables again.

or u could have the chairs lined up to form the "aisle" so everyone has a nice view, also u can have yr guests seated by the aisle to hold a small bouquet of flowers, it'll look nice in the photos when u walk-in. u can distribute disposable cameras to yr "aisle" guests to snap pix throughout the session (or if they're close friends, request them to bring their digicams), that way u'll have a nice overall view of yr ceremony.

how many tables do u plan to have?

Hi Happi, thanks for the suggestions. We are planning to have around 30 tables. Wouldn't it be too troublesome to rearrange all the chairs and tables again? Cos if we were to decorate the tables with centrepieces, it would take quite awhile to set the place back again right?

I do like the digicam idea. Then i can get lots of different angled shots. :)

So far planning to have a short break in between the two sessions for guests to mingle and for photo taking session with friends and family. Maybe a small "cocktail" session where soft drinks and tit bits will be served.

But i'm not sure about moving all the furniture cos the guests will be in the same place and tat will take a lot of work and redecorating wouldn't it? But i do appreciate the suggestion. It is quite a good idea. Maybe can do that if there is a lot of empty space in the hall then no need to move the tables. ;)

Anyway, any other christians here who have done this before? I mean doing the bridal procession and exchange of vows in the same place as the chinese dinner. Do share more ideas with me ya if u have done a wedding like this before or been to one. Thanks!

[happi 0]

hmm, yes. 30 tables is quite a lot, unless u hv a big hall whereby u can use the stage portion for yr ceremony arrangement. my sis did ceremony vows & wedding luncheon at the same venue & managed to have time to rearrange the hall, but it was for 10 tables i think, more manageable. during the hall re-arrangement had some photo session & "mixer". the guests loved it. half of them came during lunchbreak, stayed thru for ceremony & lunch buffet. there was no problem with anyone coming in t-shirt & jeans since it was working outfits, quite a few came in coats!

we distributed digicams & some guests brought their own digicams, pictures were good, a different view from everyone. didn't have a professional photographer. during the makan, an emcee invited guests to say a few words about the bride/groom since it was a close-knit ceremony. so it was very touching to hear about the bride/groom personal relationships with the guests & how much they meant to each guest. didn't need to organize any special performance, just had cd music playing in the background for the walk-in processional also used cd music. wedding ceremony & luncheon all completed within 2 hrs.

[catherine84 0]

cat & angel - juz email the itenary to u. pls check

Dear fernfan,

Thx 4 ur reply...i gt ur pm liao...n i juz replied..hehehe...ma fan u only..bt thx ya 4 ur help... ;)

[catherine84 0]

here came my AD schedule (my & hubby christian, our family not)

morning - 8.30am groom arrive, with hengdai,

- 8.30-9.30am - the duel "hengdai jimui"

- 9.30-10.30 - tea for parent & relative

- 10.30-11 - photo session (after that father to hold red umbrella) - chut mun

- 11.- 11.30 - arrive at chuch

- 11.30 - 12.30 - groom side - tea(hengdai jimui luncheon)

- 12.30 - 1.30 - bride & groom - rest and changing

- 1.30 - get ready to march

- 2pm - 4pm - MY HOLY MATRIMONY

- 7pm - 10pm - dinner reception

everything go on smooth , for both our parent, very Thanks for their understanding.

Oooh..thx 4 ur so-detailed AD schedule oh...meaning da tea session 4 groom side was held at church lah? Not bad oh...can use also...thx alot..

N dear all,

I would like to know more of da similar infos given here...hahaha...even ur wedding dinner venues and special tings happened on ur actual wedding day worth da memories..n also 4 reference..hehehe...thx alot!! God bless all...so much of gd ppl everywhr...thk God 4 it...

[catherine84 0]

1 more thing im curious about is the auspicious date...do we christians need 2 set this date too?? As i know, all dis dates come from an old 'feng shui' book...n 'feng shui' is nt a thing 4 christians...let me knw whether u set a date or not 4 ur wedding....thanx alot!!

[bluedolphin_kim85 0]

Thanks for sharing Happi! I love the ideas. How i wish i can hold a close knit wedding too. Hehe.

Hi Catherine, in my opinion the feng shui date doesn't really matter. The main thing is that the date is a special date that both of u would like to remember or one that is easy to remember so that over the years neither of u would forget ur anniversary date. Hehe. Unless u just can't decide on a date mayb doing the feng shui thingy would give u more choices to pick from. Just an opinion. :P

[beautifulgown 0]

catherine,

yes, christian doesn't go for feng shui or auspicious date but I think to respect both parents (who aren't christian) get them to select a date for you, in a way it is also a give and take in your wedding. Get your parents to accept your church wedding and at the same time respect them too.

[Angel T 0]

I'm not particular on the chinese auspicious date but both my parents (both Christians) still do refer to the chinese lunar calendar after fiance and I set 20.09.2009 as AD date :)

[beautifulgown 0]

Angel,

I'm not particulate about the date and in fact we don't go for auspicious date, but we didn't know the date that we chose was falled on an auspicious date. We didn't expect that and yet it happened.

[catherine84 0]

I really luv dis forum so very much..reali gt helpers n opinionist all around who reply so fast...thx 4 all ur opinions n advises....i guess i should juz let our parents 2 decide on it n v dont nid 2 'fan' about dis matter....but hor..i will choose da date 1st n thn only let thm reconfirm...wahahaha...they being my 'filters'...kidding ler..i thk mostly v wil sit n talk bout it...n try 2 accept things which r still acceptable out of respects too...they r our parents on earth...no other can take dat identities from thm...n oh...i have been wondering...if i were 2 put my wedding on 09.09.09.....will it be too late 4 me 2 plan 4 it n make bookings? Coz i have heard even the registering marriage on dat day also fully booked liao...is it dat 'over'? N 1 more ting...i knw im abit 'fan' here...like nanny nia...but i cant help it...can any1 let me know where can i find a good price 4 having wedding dinner at hotel? My target is around...RM600-700 per table...n i wanted 2 set a max of 30 tables nia...if any1 knows anything about it, plz let me know ya.......besides hotel...any recommendation wif my budget? 2 have a grand n yet a memorable n worthy 1? M i 2 impossible??

[beautifulgown 0]

catherine,

for your information 9.9.9 is falls on hungry ghost month, unless your parents don't mind, otherwise I don't think they will allowing you to have 9.9.9 as your AD. Actually I wanted to get 9.9.9, first question from my mum was - does it fall in hungry ghost month? if yes then cannot .. thus we changed to 20.09.2009 which is falls on August.

[Angel T 0]

Hello Ling,

Ya lor, me also the same here. Just set 20.09.2009 as our AD without checking whether it is a 'good' date or not, then inform parents. Mana tau they still want to do the 'filtering'. Luckily everything's ok.

Hello Catherine,

You might still hv a shot of booking hotel for your wedding banquet on 9.9.9. But bear in mind, there might be quite a lot of booking for ROM banquet on that day as well wor.... For your budget of RM600-RM700 per table in a hotel, maybe a bit hard ler, unless the hotel is situated in a small town like mine in S'wak ;)

9.9.9 already full for ROM? :o I plan to ROM on 9.9.9 but thru private organisation wor. Also full kah? Open for registration ady?

[beautifulgown 0]

Angel,

ahh .. same here! haahha .. we also chose the date without checking the "book" :P end up it is an auscipious date! my parents were ok as long as it is not in hungry ghost month :P

I believe 9.9.9 is also a super hot date, just like this year 8.8.8 so many people ROM in KL but Kuching ah? mmm .. got but not a lot :P people still pantang about the hungry ghost month but we are not so we don't need to fight with people for the date. :)

[catherine84 0]

Dear frens,

Dat's another thing im unsure bout is the process of ROM...if i wanted to hav a garden wedding ceremony...where should i get the wedding solemniser or wedding officer coz my pastor doesnt hold a marriage license...and do you have any recommendation of any suitable church which provides the registration of marriage which has a wedding license also? Im a chinese methodist.... :)

[happi 0]

catherine84, you can just ROM at JPN, then plan for any ceremony u like e.g. garden, hotel & ask yr pastor to perform the blessing. it'll be cheaper & easier to plan since u can adjust the dates to your convenience.

[beautifulgown 0]

happi is right, to get the marriage registrar office to your location will cost you RM500 (in Kuching).

[catherine84 0]

Thanks 4 all your replies...there are well appreciated...but sadly due to some unforseen circumstances...my FH decided to just have a vacation marriage + church wedding ceremony...cause neither 1 of us like the spotlight so much..n v feel troublesome 2 entertain all da guests during dinner while v dont really know who is who...another thing is to save $$...so i really need some guidance in vacation marriage thing..coz no one i know have ever tried it...i need to know the flow...thanx in advance.. ;)

[atdj0419 0]

mine: Kuching ( home with pastor)

10.30 groom arrive with bestman.

11.30 ceremony with pastor

12.15 tea ceremony and lunch buffet

1.00 e session with pg

7.00pm-9.00pm dinner

groom ( ipoh)

1.00-1.30 hengdai jimui duel

2.00 reach HB place for tea ceremony

7pm-10pm dinner

Hi genielee,

I'm planning for something similar like yours except I'll have the hengdai jimui duel on the same day as the ceremony with pastor. Would you mind PM me the details about the 'ceremony with pastor'? Our ROM is a week after the groom's side wedding dinner. It should be okay to have the 'ceremony with pastor', right?

Thanks!!

[PauPei 0]

mine: Kuching ( home with pastor)

10.30 groom arrive with bestman.

11.30 ceremony with pastor

12.15 tea ceremony and lunch buffet

1.00 e session with pg

7.00pm-9.00pm dinner

groom ( ipoh)

1.00-1.30 hengdai jimui duel

2.00 reach HB place for tea ceremony

7pm-10pm dinner

Hi Ginielee,

Thanks for sharing your plans with us. I have a questions what will you be wearing for the ceremony with your pastor? Will you be wearing a wedding gown? Then for the actual day of the pick up will u be wearing a wedding gown again?

I'm wondering how to go about this if the church wedding service and the actual day isn't on the same day? How do we go about it do ppl have pantang wearing the WG twice?

PauPei

[agyy 0]

mine: Kuching ( home with pastor)

10.30 groom arrive with bestman.

11.30 ceremony with pastor

12.15 tea ceremony and lunch buffet

1.00 e session with pg

7.00pm-9.00pm dinner

groom ( ipoh)

1.00-1.30 hengdai jimui duel

2.00 reach HB place for tea ceremony

7pm-10pm dinner

Hi Ginielee,

Thanks for sharing your plans with us. I have a questions what will you be wearing for the ceremony with your pastor? Will you be wearing a wedding gown? Then for the actual day of the pick up will u be wearing a wedding gown again?

I'm wondering how to go about this if the church wedding service and the actual day isn't on the same day? How do we go about it do ppl have pantang wearing the WG twice?

PauPei

Hi, pei pei. I'm a Catholic. :P Had my church wedding on 13 Sep 08 & chinese tradition on 14 Sept 08. I wore twice for my wedding .. Don't worry so much!! :P It's all in your state of mind!! If u really want to pantang, then actually every brides who have pre-wedding photo shooting are all wearing twice!! Pre-wedding photo shooting wear gown then actual day wear gown again, twice liao lor!! !! Somemore the actual day gown also rented from BS, & so many brides wear before us. So don't worry so much ya!! Most important is the marriage itself!!

[Wan Yee 0]

Hmm, what about the wedding veil ah? I know the WG is not so much of a pantang, but what about the veil? If the church ceremony is a day earlier than the choot moon day, is that ok to put on the veil again? Due to my choot moon & yap moon timing is so close, I may need to do the church ceremony on different day oh...

[cay0714 0]

Hi Catherine. I'm catherine also :)

First of all, congrats on your wedding. Its a start of beautiful life together to be able to have a wedding.

For me, i'm a christian, my whole family are christian. My hubby is not, so does his family. But his family is very understanding. They do not have any ancestor to pray for so, its kinda ok for us. But since my hubby not christian, we cant have a church wedding coz i'm from anglican.. so, very strict..hehe.

But we had a way out by having a garden wedding where my dad did walked down the aisle with me and a church elder to bless our wedding. It was beautiful.

Wedding is once in a life time. Mayb differnt ppl will hav diffent difficulty to have their wedding due to money or time or family problem. But at the end of the day, you two have to stand firm that this is both your wedding although family advise need to take account to. Having a vacation marriage, for me, i will not agree to it alothoug i don really know how it feels, coz, for me, its once in a life time. Troublesome also, you will eventually only have to do it once. Money problem - well, u can do it big or small. not an issue. Me and hubby spent 1 year to really save for the weddign by putting money into our joint account. the money grow and with help of family, we had a beautiful wedding. I believe family are there to always support us. Though there may be times when got a lot of members will want to contribute a say int eh weddig but at the end of the day, you two have to be firm coz what matters most is how both of u enjoying the day coz its the most importnat day in your whole life. To get where you are now - having a wedding is not easy, so, try to just talk heart to heart with your family and let them know how u feel. I believe families, friends will always respect the couple's decision. Easy to say than done rite? :) You will find your way, i'm sure, PLUS you have so many ideas from MB members.hehheeheh. No worries too much. At the end of the day, you two are the most important people and i know you will have a beautiful wedding in watever ways it will be....

Thanks 4 all your replies...there are well appreciated...but sadly due to some unforseen circumstances...my FH decided to just have a vacation marriage + church wedding ceremony...cause neither 1 of us like the spotlight so much..n v feel troublesome 2 entertain all da guests during dinner while v dont really know who is who...another thing is to save $$...so i really need some guidance in vacation marriage thing..coz no one i know have ever tried it...i need to know the flow...thanx in advance.. ;)

[happi 0]

catherine84, if really wanna save money & make it a close ceremony - just register at JPN & book a resort/hotel somewhere nearby, maybe PD. might be easier to invite yr immediate family members & close friends without having to make accommodation arrangements for all of them. how many pax do u intend to invite?

another alternative, just register & have honeymoon. immediately after registration just have a family lunch or dinner with the parents & siblings.