noturningback 0 Report post Posted October 29, 2008 hi there, just wana ask is this normal not to have sex after you deliver your baby?my baby almost 7 months old now, but we haven't get sex with each other yet. too tired after work..or i can say baby is sleeping in the middle.. hb always reluctant coz he said bb is with us and some more i am breastfeeding,so he afraid milk spills out ..GOSH!!! but i can see he is really tired and stress after work. so i am wondering whether man can stand it that long?but for me, i don't know how long can I stand coz sometimes i really wanna satisfy myself.. what to do i just self doing it without letting him know..coz too embarrass to let him knowll Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2008 Do you have difficulties to have sex after pregnancy? How soon you resume to have sex after pregnancy?I already about 2 months post pregnancy. But i unable to have sex with hb. Everytime he try to penetrate i feel scare. I always think back the time when the gynae did me VE when i'm going to due. It's so uncomfortable for me. I also feel my private part like the feeling when the gynae did me pap smear checking using the stick. Very umcomfortable! I'm the type of person who has low pain threshold. Even though my labor was short. Hb so depress. He said he's will be a monk forever if i still think like tat. Is there anyone have experience? How to solve this psycology problem?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Escudo 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2008 Wuah Siow Fui, I am 4-weeks post pregnancy, emm.., so far still have not tried to get intimate with hb yet, but I am so eager to try in another 2 weeks time. Maybe you can try to cuddle with hb, and touch here and there, but without penetration yet? Try oral? Better penetrate only when you are ready, dun force urself, just in case you get trauma. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2008 Haha... Hb is the one who always rejecting sex previously. Mayb now it's his turn to have sour face when not satify. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Escudo 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2008 LOL.., just like my hb, he said dun want to hurt bb woh when I was pregnant last time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
meiteoh 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2008 Urm...this has little to do with sex itself but just be careful - if you have your period, it means you're ovulating which means that if you have unprotected sex, you WILL stand a chance of getting pregnant again. It happened to one of my friends. She got pregnant again about two months after giving birth and now, she's breastfeeding two kids in tandem! Her mistake was thinking that she couldn't get pregnant coz she was breastfeeding.But seriously, don't rush into sex...there are other more enjoyable things to do in bed apart from intercourse itself. Start exploring your bodies again...like you did the first time you were both intimate... :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2008 My bb was a result of unprotected sex during safe period. Although we plan to have one baby, but her arrival really give us a shock. I need to change my mind to change job last time. Then after she is born, it's difficult for me to get a good offer coz it's recession recently. So i dare not try my luck already. I dun wan another baby comes before i get very ready in my mind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janicelly 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2008 siow fui,it's normal to feel that way. i was like you too. did you have episiotomy? if yes, sometimes it takes much longer then 2 months for the stitches to recover. it may have recover "outside" but "inside" still not yet fully recover. hence the pain you feel. another reason could be phsycological - you mentioned you kept thinking about VE. this will affect us too (i kept worrying about pain from stitches cos i had a big one (vacuum delivery). what meiteoh said is right. dont rush into it. there are other ways to be intimate apart from sex and lots and lots of lubricants helps too! have a heart to heart talk with hubby, i am sure he will understand. good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2008 Janicelly,I dont have episiotomy, coz i push too hard until the flesh torn near the backside before the gynae manage to do me episiotomy (this is wat my gynae said lar). So i believe my stictches also very bad. Your words make me feel better. Fr outside i think i'm fully recover. But inside i feel just different as b4 i pop. Not feel my private part looser, but seem a bit pain (not really pain, but the feeling hard to decribe) after i go urine with full bladder. Do you also like tat before? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
babysiew 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2008 Take it slowly... give urself some time... better to be fully recovered... huggies... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joy_desire 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2008 try using ky jelly to counter the physical pain part...post-pregnancy sex takes time...dun put too much of pressure on urself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janicelly 0 Report post Posted November 14, 2008 siow fui,i also dont know how to describe mine but it just feels uncomfortable & sore. you are still new mommy, try to let your body heal 1st. although books/websites will say we can have sex 6 weeks post partum, i feel it's up to individual. if you dont feel comfortable, just delay. we tried many times only can "get it right" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 14, 2008 siow fui,i also dont know how to describe mine but it just feels uncomfortable & sore. you are still new mommy, try to let your body heal 1st. although books/websites will say we can have sex 6 weeks post partum, i feel it's up to individual. if you dont feel comfortable, just delay. we tried many times only can "get it right" More relief now. I'm not alone... This forum so informative!! A big thanks to all forumer! :P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxford_bb 0 Report post Posted November 14, 2008 Ohh...I have suffer from the sex post prenancy for about 4/5 times. I feel really pain even compare to my first time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxford_bb 0 Report post Posted November 14, 2008 ...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
janicelly 0 Report post Posted November 17, 2008 oxfordbb,wear a bra with breast pads or have a cloth standby to wipe or nurse/pump 1st to minimize leakage! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Siow fui 0 Report post Posted November 17, 2008 Ohh...I have suffer from the sex post prenancy for about 4/5 times. I feel really pain even compare to my first time.I feel the same thing also. Then how u overcome it? Let it pain for few times when like first timer? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxford_bb 0 Report post Posted November 17, 2008 thanks janicelly! :)siow fui, I just told my hb I feel pain and my hb try to be more gentle. anyway, u still would feel pain. My fren alo have this sex post pregnancy pbl. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
agyy 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2009 Oh, no.... After reading all your posts, I really don't dare to get pregnant already!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lilian 0 Report post Posted February 1, 2009 hi everyonemy son is now age 2 plus. i was very scared of the 1st sex after delivery too. i even scared totouch my private part during shower. i had sex when i dare toclean my private part like the time i not pregnant.the 1st time we tried very pain as i was worry,so husband stop. we tried 2nd time when really ready for it. i think when 2 months after delivered. i had vacum delivery too Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blissful annie 0 Report post Posted March 5, 2009 Hello,I just have my first time sex after delivery it was painful like the first time I have sex with my Hubby!!!.. Now, my baby almost 4 months... But, my Hubby treat me very gentle when I told him that I'm in pain... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mummydaddy 0 Report post Posted May 29, 2009 How long does you start sex after c-sec? Any comment Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bunnyNwife 0 Report post Posted May 29, 2009 If u wanna follow the chinese confinement rules strictly - 100 days!!!!!I bet it really depends on your condition - natural birth vs c-sec and also recovery speed. Anyhow, just remember to take "precaution" la unless u wan to get preggie again.My mum said we should at least "rest" for 1 month & allow our uterus & vaginal to go back to its original shape before we start ML again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Escudo 0 Report post Posted May 29, 2009 Doctor advised 8 weeks after delivery. But for C-sec, i dunno. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ogosdream 0 Report post Posted May 30, 2009 i m not sure about others but i start it back after 4 months. want to let my body recover and no mood after tired taking care of bb. i do found my desire drop after give brith. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites