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I have this problem which doesn't seem to have a precedent, not at this forum anyway. My FH likes to play water sport sex games. It involves making me hold my bladder until my sides hurt, and then he is very turned on by the way I try to restrain my bladder from leaking. He likes to feel how the bladder is like, and how hard my bladder is. Seldom but he did try penetration a few times before,when my bladder was almost bursting. Whether or not he penetrates, my feeling is not happy, and annoyed at the pain and inconsiderate behaviour he has towards my health.

I hate these games because each time he asks to make out, this is the first thing he suggests. We've had many arguments about this. I find it unhealthy but he thinks our marriage will work if we give and take. I'm thinking of what bad effect holding bladder might have on me, might i rupture my bladder inside? Would I get urinary tract infection? Would I damage my kidneys? But he doesn't seem to think it would come to that much harm.

We both came across this website and this article here describes very well the man's psychology regarding this fetish. It describes my FH very similarly too, except that we don't finish off in a public place. And I use a larger bucket.

http://holdingit.minuteboard.com/m/b/f/sho...tml?topicid=428

Just hoping to get similar people to talk about this. I really hate to be in a marriage where I feel turned off the moment my FH says, let's booze.

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Holding your urine for prolonged periods actually weakens your bladder. It won't rupture it (that will take A LOT) but it can result in weakened bladder muscles which can make things difficult for you when you're pregnant and yes, you may be more prone to UTIs as well as kidney infections (UTIs have a way of turning into kidney infections if they are untreated). You can find out all this info from a doc or even medical journals/books. Of course it won't happened overnight but if you do this regular, things will add up eventually.

Personally, if you don't like it, don't do it. Fulfilment from sex should be from both parties and not at the expense of one person - this is something that maybe he should consider instead of forcing his desires on you.

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I can accept playing this game if it's not EACH session. And if I don't hold bladder to the point of pain in the sides. I hated it because he would dilly dally his time when I was already feeling the urge to pee, because he still wanted me to get fuller... and fuller... and fuller. Finally I learnt that he wanted me to leak on the floor, then he will lick it (not the floor). Yuk! I also hate dirtying the bed or bedroom floor with urine. Can you imagine..???

Anyway, we played a game last weekend. This time, he held his bladder with me. He drank a little more than me, so by the time we started, we both had the urge to pee. This time I didn't have to feel the pain in my sides. :)

BeCool, this is the reason we both held our bladder. So that he would know the experience too. But he doesn't watch porn, and I know cos I am with him 24/7. He he... we're like glue. His porn is 'desperate to pee' videos. Which doesn't turn me on in anyway at all. Sheesh...

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Sorry, but I find this really selfish and disgusting of your HB, not to mention unhygienic. Sex should not be something where one forces the other to feel pain to benefit the other. It is akin to torture... (it's the human rights lawyer in me speaking).

Maybe you should take charge and tell him that it is not pleasant for you and you don't feel comfortable doing it.

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Dump him... torturing

We're married...

Hubby is a very nice, positive, talkative and helpful person. You wouldn't know he had this other side of him if you met him. He's not mean when we play this, that's why he was willing to hold his bladder too.

He says he can live without this, although he would be thinking about it. I'm worried, is our sex-life going to worsen if he doesn't get his fulfillment? I am thinking we need to consult a sex doctor.

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yes you definitely shld go with him & consult a doc about this... as this is not a healthy thing in the sense tat if u dont like & dont enjoy it... den it is not good..... i would say be it u cont with his game or not it sure will affect yr sex life coz... if u cont he happy.. but u not.. so in the end when things got more & more unconfortable... not only yr sex life got affected... most important is yr HEALTY will also be affected and by then it might be too late to turn back coz healthy gone cannot be replace.... if u dont cont he might not be too happy about it but still not too bad since he says he can lived without it... or u guys can play this game lesser mayb once in a blue moon (mayb he will be ok with this)... but at least yr health is not affected.

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dont let him pee next time... and use your finger to press his abs when you know his bledder is full :) too much porn for him

yayaya

i agree

let him have the experience

cannot be so selfish lah!!

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yes agree with that also. Ask him to hold his bladder till full. I think by that he will also understand that pain u ar suffering. Ask him to cum and pee at the same time. Surely not inside u.

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breatheinout, u r most welcome.... unfortunately i don't know any but mayb u can try ask from yr gynea as they usually will have this sort of contacts 1.... best of luck :)

umm isnt this like better dealt with by a psychiatrist? he's got a fixation right? he needs help to figure out why he has that fixation & then therapy to overcome it. the problem is going to be to get him to agree to talk to someone about it, sometimes men are so pig headed about these things. hope you sort it out, i mean games n stuff are really nice when making love but this is like, sadism!

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erm...usually in the initial stage it is better to go to a sex therapist and after that if deem necessary by the therapist den he/she will advise to see a psychiatrist accordingly....

breatheinout, u r most welcome.... unfortunately i don't know any but mayb u can try ask from yr gynea as they usually will have this sort of contacts 1.... best of luck :)

umm isnt this like better dealt with by a psychiatrist? he's got a fixation right? he needs help to figure out why he has that fixation & then therapy to overcome it. the problem is going to be to get him to agree to talk to someone about it, sometimes men are so pig headed about these things. hope you sort it out, i mean games n stuff are really nice when making love but this is like, sadism!

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sorry to disagree with all you ladies here... or men.

i think its perfectly healthy for both party in agreement to try out and explore different area of sex, even if its a little weird. Your hubby is a loving man with a clear head who just happen to have a little different sex preference. At least he is not obsessed with this game and you can even use this to take advantage of him. Dont worry your sex life wont go down the drain, just calmly explain to him all the "side effect" of the game and treat it like an exclusive spa treatment thingy... meaning it will be rare but it will be there for him. So he'll work hard to earn his favourite game. Besides, doing it all the time will take the fun out of it. So just relax, its just like world's number one hot spices, not everyone can take it, but the ones that can love it, are they insane nutters? no, they can be perfectly normal people with extra spicy preference.

As long as this game does not affect your relationship, respondsibility in the family, rythem of life, duties to the sociaty, it's perfectly fine.

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