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meiteoh

Am always tired frm full time baby care

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It's my first baby, we've just moved to Singapore two weeks ago and I'm tired.

I'm always tired and what's worse is that I can never take a nap for more than an hour a day. It's not that Eva is a fussy baby - on the contrary, she's quite alright actually. I babywear her whenever I go out and when we're at home and/or she's awake, she's either in her bouncer playing with her toys or on the activity gym mat.

The trouble is that whenever I have any time on my hands, I use it to do the housechores (laundry, moping the floor, clearing her room, throwing the trash, etc) and three times a week, I make the trip to the market to stock up on groceries (and end up carrying at least 3 kg worth of stuff). My schedule every day is basically like this:

0730: Rise and shine by feeding Eva

0800: Put her in the bouncer so I can have my breakfast, brush my teeth and do all the housechores

0930: Go to the market if need be. If not, finish the housechores, then check my emails and go to the online forums

1030: Eva's bath time

1100: Eva's next feed

1130: Play with her and what not, then try to put her down to play or nap so I can have lunch

1300: Either I go out and buy lunch or cook

1400: Eva's next feed or bath depending on the weather (if bath, then I'll feed her after)

1500: Eva's nap time (I'll have to clear the bath stuff and the place while she naps)

1600: My nap time

1700: Prepare dinner

1800: Eva's next feed

1830: Put her down (if she's asleep; if not, she'll play) so that I can cook dinner

And from 7pm onwards, if HB is around, he can take over and I can get some rest but for the past few nights, because she's hitting a growth spurt, she wanted to feed every two hours instead of 3-4 hours and she doesn't sleep from 7pm onwards (no thanks to my HB) so I ended up doing the nights as well. She's up at 1 or 3 am every morning for a feed and then again at 5 or 7am for the morning feed, depending on which hour she got up earlier.

Whenever I have to go out, to buy groceries or run errands, I end up feeling much more tired than usual. Just...run down, so much so that I get very cranky and upset with my HB. Like yesterday, he suggested that we take Eva out on a stroller to put her to sleep. I agreed, thinking it was just around the corner sort of thing. We ended up walking for 45 minutes and when we arrived home, Eva was awake and showing signs of hunger so I had to feed her and then again two hours later. Earlier in the day, I was already butched out from the grocery shopping. I ended up sleeping around midnight with achy feet, back and well, the works.

And my HB doesn't seem to understand why I'm always tired - he thinks it's as simple as "go to sleep" or that I'm just complaining about how he does things ("what I do is never good enough"). Whenever she fusses while he's carrying her, he gives her back to me and runs off to surf the Net and such. The only chores he does are the dishes and keeping the laundry (which I don't do every day). Plus he loves to visit his friends with her in tow for dinners and as a result, instead of her sleeping at night around 9pm, she ends up staying awake until nearly midnight, which upsets the whole schedule. What's worse is that he will ask me if it's time to go home or not, as if I'm the wetblanket. Since her birth, I noticed that every time there is an evening activity like dinners or friends coming over, Eva will have a hard time going to sleep for the next few days and I'll be the one who ends up picking up after the mess.

I've been trying to tell him that it's really hard for me to have to watch her during the day AND the night as well, and my lack of sleep is building up like crazy - it's been like this since Saturday and I'm really running out of steam plus patience. Breastfeeding already takes a toll on me and on top of that, I'm alway hungry but my HB complains whenever I tell him that I'm hungry. On top of things, the weather here has been really crazy for me - while Eva is adjusting, I'm finding the heat unbearable (it makes me cranky) and prefer to hole up myself in an aircon room but again, my HB thinks I'm just being silly. He's delaying on getting more fans so I have to make do with one fan and shuffling it from my room to the hall every morning. And he doesn't like the idea of me turning on the airconditioning too often.

Also, there is nothing for me to do in the apartment except surf the Net and watch Eva. He complains when I watch TV, saying that in Switzerland, I never watch TV (I didn't have a TV then and besides, I wasn't taking care of a baby and neither was I without my hobby stuff like now). At times, I really feel like I'm the unpaid maid.

Is this a passing phase or is there something wrong with my time management? :/

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Mei.. I can truly understand your feeling as I feel the same during confinement months. Even now, while I still need to work and take care of little Ethan at night I feel extremely tired. No rest at all. Hb always told me to get some sleep during weekends but how? Feeding - mummy, bathing - mummy, cranky - mummy, poo/pee - mummy, lunch/dinner - wife, laundry - wife, washing - wife --- so how to rest? My mum now sometimes would suggest me to just pass little Ethan to nanny on and off on Sat so that at least i can rest in the morning and pick him up during late afternoon after my hubby back. Of coz it's a good idea but I want some bonding between Ethan and I.

Nothing wrong with your time management, it's just that our baby is still small so we can't really prolonged their feeding time or sleeping time. Just wait till they grow older then we can have our own sweet rest time again.

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Mabel, sorry to hear what u r going thru now... I bit surprise ( sorry to say that) to read what u said coz I thgt u r oways very stable ...but I think nothing wrong with ur time management lah! even I'm a working mum & take care my bb after work & weekend, I understand how busy we r as a mum...like what I ever mentioned in other thread & some mummies too, we r crazy with our time management ! everything have to learn to do quick quick ( even my hb really help me a lot ) !

Don't say u tired as full time mum, me,even my bb sleep thru the night & ppl always say he is guai but I also still feel super tired always ! ...maybe I lack of exercise ! but really difficult to squeeze a fixed time to do exercise now !

about this hot weather, I wonder why ur bb & ur hb adjusting to it but u r opposite ? u stay all the while in Switzerland ? hope u can adapt to this kind of weather soon....

I think u really have to find a time to discuss & talk about ur feeling to ur hb ! don't stress urself !

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Eleng, on the weekends, I'm like you as well. While my HB is enjoying a late sleep in and his book, I'd have fed Eva, clean her room, mop the floor and had my breakfast. Sometimes I really feel like exploding because my HB doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through.

Bao B, believe it or not, I never could adjust to the heat, even when I was in KL. Don't like hot weather...just don't know why. I've tried talking to my HB about it many times but it's still not working out. Sometimes I really wonder if the problem is just because I don't have enough sleep or...I dunno la. My friends with older babies have been telling me that it'll get better, that I just need to rough it out. But without my HB's help, I really feel...washed out. :(

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buying groceries & preparing meals can be very time consuming. can u get yr HB to do it?

its normal to feel exhausted & tired & hot. really, the only way to survive is to share the workload with HB & to hv fan & aircond on. HB will do shopping & cooking. if i hv more time, then i'll help wash the vege so he can just cook when he comes home. he'll cook extra for dinner then i can hv it for lunch. if not, he'll prepare the stuff at nite & cook next morning before he goes to work so i don't hv to bother with preparing meals. just need to reheat the rice. laundry we take turns, see who is available coz someone will take care of bb while the other does the laundry.

after i give the night feeding, he'll burp & play or put her to sleep. morning if she wakes up early, i'll feed her & he'll burp/play with her before goin to work so i can catch some sleep. i really need HB's help, without it i tend to feel very worn out & emotional. now we hv a routine, its much better. when i need the extra sleep, he'll pull his weight. when he needs the extra sleep, its my turn. so at least bb will hv 1 rested parent with enough energy!

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happi,me too ! my hb always buy groceries & prepare & cook meal ! I only help out if bb is sleeping ! normally I help to wash dishes ! this is because he cooks much more better than me..:p

abt feeding, he 'll help me too when I'm pumping or doing oth thing coz I'm not direct feed...I only feed my bb when I'm free or mostly during weekend when we full time take care him! I try to let my hb rest or take nap whenever can during weekend coz worry he too tired!

for laundry, sometimes he help me but most of the times I want to do it myself coz see he already doing too many things for me! feel guilty :p I insist don't let him fold clothes coz I don't want to be so useless ! everything want him to help !

Other cleaning job, whoever is free or can then whoever do..but I normally organise things more better than him so I do more on that ! tidy house !

I think I 'll be really exhausted too if without his help lah..

Mabel, some guys are not really alert to know what should they do to help with housework...especially who r the only son at home whose mum pampered him a lot when young...possibly can u allocated some task for ur hb? get him to do some easy job like washing dishes or prepare some easy things for u before u cook ???? or ask him to go & buy groceries for u...???

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Mabel,

Can really understand how you feel. Sit down have a serious heart to heart with him. Tell him firmly you NEED the extra help ESPECIALLY when Eva hit growth spurt/milestone/teething etc. Lay down straight how many hours you get to sleep/rest per day (men need facts put to their face). I will suggest you to temporary cut down on the household chores & cooking if you cant cope. I know having a dirty house or always eat outside is not healthy BUT you getting enough rest & is fully functional to care for Eva is top priority.

As for bringing her out for dinners, I will suggest you to cut back on that too. If you noticed Eva fusses each time after that, it means it's all too much for her. My gal was like tat & I only started to bring her out AFTER she's 3 months old. Even if it's friends coming over, just excused yourself. I am like that & everyone knows I wont bend the rule. If they cant accomodate, either I'll just stay home or excused myself to bring my gal into the bedroom. Calming a cranky/fussy baby late at night is no fun. I rather be labelled anti social then suffer.

Try to nip the problem in the bud cos as time goes on, you resentment will build (voice of experience here :p).

~Hugs~

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Mabel,

This is just a suggestion. Maybe you'd like to express some milk out and let your HB use that for nite feed so you can leave Eva with him since he and Eva sleeps later and you can go have an earlier rest? I think your HB really needs to do a little more. Being a full time mum is even worse than having to work full time. Although I'm not one yet but I've been warned.

I myself hate hot weather too and I definitely cannot live without the aircond. Since we're moving to our new house and summer's coming up HB has gotten ppl to install airconds in every single room even in the nursery but don't think I'll turn the nursery one on much.. I guess your HB don't wanna pay a really high electricity bill thats why he asked you not to turn the aircond on. But now that you're all tired, cranky and hot, it makes u even hotter!! Hope everything works out soon...

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Hi meiteoh,

As a fulltime hsewife now i really understand how u feel. To have yr own time back u must have alot adjustment to daily time table. Must be very patience & COOL down yr nerve to train!

  1. train BB nap time everyday without failed put bb to nap at 1.30pm by 2 or 2.30pm must sleep. (feed BB 1st sleep longer)
  2. BB playcot must have dolls to attention him/her (don't put all the dolls, keep some need to change time to time if he/her bored)
  3. don't always carry yr baby around try to let on his/her own more like on own bed, playcot or stroller (every BB likes to carry is like contract between parents & BB been done no changes! ALWAYS carry)
  4. for cooking learn simple way like how to use slow cooker, stemmer , pressure cooker & mirco cooking. For me, after market clean meat or fish ready on each tupperware.
* meat try to marinate it ( can be keep till you want to cook)

* vegie always prepare one nite ready for next day use.

* sometimes buy or makes roast chicken , meat or fish (keep some can make for sandwich)

  • On feeding time from infant till now, always on time! Infant every 2hr or 2 1/2hr milk/water time (daytime), every 3hr (nitetime) hungry or not feeding time must be on time!
  • My Shyenna takes her nap everyday now, anywhere at 1.30pm (in sleep at 2pm) wakes up at 4.30pm or 5pm. Wakes up drink water, eat fruits, play awhile , take bath , eat porriage , play awhile & on bed at 8pm (sleep after 1/2hr or 1hr play on her own.(must have story or music on) then after sleep cd player & light off in her room!
  • For me timetable are very important! On every afternoon i used it to nap awhile & clean hse or ironing (b4 i had part time maid) Now nap , surf the Net or cooking.
For me too, always tired because i 'm on my own right after confinement months and so mess up with BB and my own time don't where to start !......... aaiyo want to cry everyday! :rclxub: And Dont EXPECT Help from hubby (waste of breathe) , always say u at home.... mah, why cannot maintain it , just a small baby also cannot take care....... bla..bla...

Now Shyenna 1yr 2mths my hubby always tell her how daddy change her diaper,feed her & carry her! Taking all my credit!! :sauer2:

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Wah, Bao B and happi, you girls are so very lucky. Husband cook for you all? I don't cook, except porridge for bb. Hb works till very late and outstation often, how in the world would he be able to prepare and cook for me? I also struggle to take care of her full time, during weekends. Totally no time for myself. Now that she's crawling, she's really going everywhere and likes to go through fake tunnels(under tables, chairs, ppl's legs, etc) and like to touch dirty, forbidden things. And now she likes to crawl to stairs and the bathroom whenever I go do something for very short while in the dry kitchen and in the bathroom. Recently once I picked her up late from sitter's(normally I would go home to shower first then only pick her), then I put her on stroller to watch me shower coz she'd cry like crazy if put in playpen, and she would crawl to door and bang the door calling me if I leave her alone in the room. I thought she wouldn't cry if watch me shower, but still she cried and made noise. How can I stop showering and attend to her? Shampoo dripping and water dripping from my body. Whenever hb got little time and take care of bb for a while, eg. half hour he already make noise of bb like to crawl to forbidden places, etc etc. I said I took care whole days also can't say anything. Men simply dunno how to appreciate one..

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Hi Meiteoh,

((HUGS)) I'm a SAHM too without a maid, and I understand exactly how you feel. I was exhausted the first few months too, and was especially emotional when hubby plays his facebook games after he comes back from work, or go out for his pool games with his friends, while I have to feed baby, play with baby, change baby and put him to sleep by carrying him at night. We had arguments. He said he worked all day and deserve his time off at night. He thought that my life was very easy at home playing with the baby. That was until I made him take care of the baby one Sunday, and he was totally tired out by the time I got back from my day off. I told him I believe the daddy works hard in the office bringing back the dough, but the mommy works just as hard at home. Evening is the time where both parents should take turns and help each other out. . That was the earlier period where we both had to adjust to having a baby.

We are / I'm handling things much better now. I think I did this by involving hubby more in the daily care of the baby. We have to learn to 'close one eye' on how the daddies do things, as long as they are not hurting the baby. If the baby fuss, we just have to learn to let the daddy handle it and they have to learn to calm the baby, as it is HIS TURN. If the daddy do not learn how difficult it is, they would not change to adapt to a different lifestyle. The daddies need to be trained from the start too. They would try their darndest to avoid it at the beginning, by saying that they do not know how to. That's no excuse, bcos then they should learn - after all the mommy is learning day to day too from hands-on experience. Don't let them take advantage of our 'softer' heart.

Regarding your situation, why doesn't your hubby like you to use aircon? You can tell him that the baby should not be overheated. (Which is true!) At first, my hubby also commented about my using aircon during daytime at home (he was worried about higher bills). But I pointed it out to him that HE is enjoying aircon everyday in his office, and so are his staff. Why can't his wife and son enjoy aircon too :p My boy actually sleeps better in the aircon room, snug inside his grobag. Get another few cheap table/stand fans yourself, if your hubby is delaying it. Just order it online or get someone to deliver it- those doesn't cost a lot, but may give you some respite from the heat. Heat will cause you to be more irritable.

I have cleaners come once a week to mop/clean/wipe our place. In Singapore, I believe you can get those aunties to clean for SGD10 an hour. It really helps a lot! They are not as clean as us, but hey.. we have to learn to let go and be less perfect.

When your baby naps, you should take the opportunity to rest in the afternoon. Household chores can wait. Sometimes, I'm tempted to go on and on and on like energiser bunny to get all things done, bcos it's also satisfying to 'finish' everything. But we'll burnt out by then. If we fall sick, our precious milk supply will dwindle, and we risk infecting the baby .. so don't push yourself too hard.

Gosh.. you sound like supermom :D I only do grocery with my hubby. So that he can carry the stuff! The baby is heavy enough already, without adding another 3kg of grocery! And i didn't cook for first 3 months. Only this week, I started cooking again! Okay, cooking at home is probably healthier for breastfeeding mom.. but get your hubby to help lor.

I really think daddies should be train to be more involved including bathing, diaper change, changing baby, bottle feeding, sterialising. Otherwise, they won't bond as well with the baby and will spend less time with the baby. Vicious cycle.

Just my 2 cents. HTH.

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sunshine,

Well said!!!! You are macam saying it straight from my heart la. I really salute you all SAHM moms. Being cooped up whole day at home with a baby is not easy. Not to mention you have to clean & cook. SALUTE!!!

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Bao B & Janice, yeah, I think I'll need to cut back on the cooking and grocery shopping...coz while going out to the market is easy (it's just a few minutes walk away), it's coming with back kilos of stuff that is killing me. Cooking wise, I cook very simple dishes that are quick to cook but still, having to think of what to eat, then prepare it...

The trouble with this is that it didn't occur overnight. This level of fatigue has been building up since we moved and you could say that I'm tired emotionally too.

My HB can do housechores; it's just that he likes to do it at his own pace and his own time, which means he can take months to wash the toilet and such.

Y'know, when I tried talking to him about it yesterday - him doing more - I got the whole "Y'know, studies have shown that unemployed people have a hard time adjusting going back to work and the first problem they always have is waking up in the morning. I'm still adjusting to working and taking care of a baby, etc". When I hear that, it's like I'm being told that my needs aren't as important as his, that I shouldn't complain because I don't have to bring home the bacon and etc. When I tell him that it's how I see his comments, he denies it, saying that it's not what he meant but it doesn't change anything. He still expects me to call him whenever I'm tired and etc but what I want is initiative and just some support.

Till today, I have yet to hear a thank you for all the meals I've cooked, for the cleaning I've done, for the breastfeeding and so forth. Y'know, my MIL actually told my HB that he should buy me something to thank me for the birth and all. It's not that I'm mata duitan or anything like that but since the birth, I feel taken for granted. Sometimes I feel like expressing and feeding Eva by bottle just to let my HB have a taste of what it's like having to BF but I still have to wake up nights to pump and I'm concerned about nipple confusion.

I know this makes my HB sound worse than he is; it's not that he's a lazy or bad person and neither is he a lousy husband. In fact, I'm thankful that he does help when I ask him for it. Just that I would like some appreciation in return for the things I've done.

missy, I do train Eva but when she goes through a growth spurt, timetables are really useless. Besides, my HB doesn't quite seem to catch the importance of sticking to a schedule so we have "broken" a few - like the night when we went to his friend's place for dinner. Once we break a schedule, Eva takes days to get back to the original schedule and it's worse when she's going through a growth spurt.

sunshine, the aircon thing is because of the high electricity bill. To be honest, my HB is not on an expat pay but a local one and we're on a one person income. So things are tight at the moment.

I try to involve my HB in caring for Eva but he always wants to "escape" by either letting her cry it out, dumping her in the crib or he'll bear with it and then complain about back pain, etc, etc. We have an agreement that he has to help out at nights and weekends are for him BUT I find myself doing most of the nights and weekends as well because he'll find one way or another to "escape". Sometimes I really feel like giving Eva to him and then checking into a hotel for the weekend, just to let him feel what it's like having to take care of her for the entire day.

When I tell him all this, he'll go "I know, I know" but I feel that it's just empty words.

The grocery shopping? Last week, I told him that we have to go grocery shopping during the weekend. He went okay. Weekend came, we bought some stuff from the wet market but still have to buy more (I wanted to go to the hypermarket) and y'know what he told me? "You can go grocery shopping at the market on week days mah. No need to buy now la." =.=

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sunshine, you reminded me of what happened during CNY. That time my bb just turned 3months old. And hb kept saying he wants to go out to gathering with frens, saying that he only get to meet up with them ard once a year. I let him go for the first 1-2 times. Then he kept wanting to go for more. Then I told him that I had already decided not to join any gathering with my frens at all, and will be full time with bb, why can't he sacrifice a bit of gathering time? He gets to go meet up fren while I struggle alone at home with a crying baby? Then he was upset and asked if it's gonna be like that forever and totally no time out with frens(he's really the type hardly ever go out with frens, but really is only once in a bluemoon). Then I told him that it's not going to be forever, next year CNY, bb will be 1yr+, and it'll be so great and we can bring bb together with us to frens/relatives' house together, or let bb follow either one of us to our respective frens' house, how FUN and happy time! then only he realize that..Hahahhaha...men simply needs to be trained. Previously I strugged with finding time to put clothes to wash in washing machine, take out and hang to dry, take in, remove hangers and fold, etc..Few weeks ago, after rows of arguments with him saying that I got way too much to do, while he always get to dress up nicely to work and comb a nice hair to work, standing there and ask me 'Are you done?'(indicating that I always delay him from being able to leave home for work), I finally came out with proposal that he'll be the one to also cover the role to hang out all clothes, take back in after dry, remove all hangers and put into the basket ready for me to fold when I free. Btw, I initially made him to be the one to boil water for our drinking and throw rubbish, so little right? And sometimes I had to boil and throw rubbish if he's not around and not been doing it. He hesitated for whole night saying that he might want to choose other roles instead, I said yes can, then you do the sterilizing, making porridge, making puree, changing bb, bathing bb, putting clothes to laundry, etc etc etc etc..Finally he agreed, so now I can sit back and relax a little bit on that..

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BaoB, high 5! yes, HB does all the groceries & cooking, but i try to push laundry to him also :P i think it helped that we did confinement on our own, so he's used to the responsibility of preparing meals & laundry. bb nappies are his job, all the poop nappies he wash. but if i know he has to work overtime, then i help him la...cannot be so cruel.

now i hv him on porridge making for bb, heheh..

i tried to be supermom, mop floor, prepare meals, etc. it works for 1 day, next day breakdown. phew....so now i really just do what i can & the rest ask HB to do.

he asked me before how come i can't handle only 1 bb? (he comes fr a big family) i had to attend to some matters, so left him to bbsit bb for 3-4 hrs, LOL. since then, he has been very understanding.

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Hugs Mei, I know it's pretty tough now but you would soon get the hang of things. I'm a SAHM too but I'm staying with my ILs with their maids even so I have never let the maids handle Ashley and I try to do the housechores on my own. I felt burned all the time! and it doesn't help when my hb thinks I'm bringing all this to myself ie not letting the maid help out with the chores or look after Ashley *shock horror*!!

And I pray that I don't fall sick because I don't have the luxury to rest at all and funny enough even if I did fall sick it's usually towards the evening when my hb's back :lol:

As for the grocery, maybe you should heed the ladies' advice to either do your grocery once a week or with your hb. Or you can also invest in those small trolley you often see in the wet markets? At least you don't have to carry them. As for me I usually do the grocery on my own and I'll use Ashley's stroller as a carrier for all the groceries. Of course to some it's not advisable but so far it works for me after a nearly 2 years of practice :)

And for the chores, you can always do one section of the house at a time that way you won't be so worn out and if you think you need some rest to h*** with the chores, your sanity and rest are more important.

And one more thing about the schedule, it's nothing wrong with it but my schedule are as follows

6.00-6.30am: Wake up and prepare Ashley feeding bottles (wash, sterilize), cook Ashley's porridge and prepare the ingredients for my lunch, dump the clothes into the washing machine

7.30-8.00am: Ashley bangun and her dad getting ready for work, I'll hang the clothes while her dad puts on a show for her

8.30-9.30am: Try to do housechores as quickly as I could

9.30-12.00pm: Play with Ashley before she sleeps

12.00-4/5pm: Ashley's naptime, I cook lunch and do whatever I can be it online, iron clothes, fold clothes

5.00pm: Ashley bangun goes to her ahkong's room and I'll clean up the room before my hb comes home

I know it's incomparable between Eva and Ashley cos of their age gap but sometimes I wish there are more than 24hrs in a day. And now that Ashley's much bigger, it's easier to manage my time but I noticed I've sleep less during the night sometimes I can stay up the whole night online and working on my blog.

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yeah i agree with all of you, being a mother taking care of bb its really burn you out. after confinement and start working with breastfeed at nite really make me crazy. wake up every 2 hours at nite makes me feel extremely tired the whole day and all the time i cant focus to my work for nearly 6 months. no Choice i have to stop breastfeeding when Calvis 6 months old and he sleeps with my mum at nite so that i can have a good nite sleep. i am lucky that my mum help me to take care of my boy.

i found man sometime cant really understand how a mum's feel. mother always can't leave the bb and always bb is more important that anything else. No hobby, no meet frens.. but man just can go out anytime they want, play badminton, gathering..bla bla bla.

i found bb need more attention especially they start to crawl or learn to stand. U need to spend more time look over them and its more tired compare to when there play on the bed or in play pen.

Same as Janice, i seldom bring my son go to visit frens because i found out my son will cry at nite or cranky after the visit. so until now i will not bring my son to visit. only bring him out shopping or jalan jalan in Park to catch some fresh air.

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I don't know if it was god-sent or what but yesterday, Eva took TWO longish naps in the afternoon and then, (this is the surprise), she slept through the night from 11pm all the way till 7am. I got up because my boobs were engorged (the right one is like an alarm clock sometimes) and thought that I probably sleep-nursed her (like sleep walking) but my HB said that he didn't wake up at all and the glass I left on the table outside was still full (I usually drink a glass of water after I nurse her at night).

Anyway, I had a chat with HB again and this time, he was more receptive - he mentioned that since he has always been doing the laundry, I don't need to do it and if I don't feel like cooking, I don't have to cook. We'll just eat out, tah pau or I can always cook simple dishes & such. He was more helpful with the baby yesterday...but other than that, I'm still reeling from the fact that she slept for so long at night!!!

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Hugs Mei, I know it's pretty tough now but you would soon get the hang of things. I'm a SAHM too but I'm staying with my ILs with their maids even so I have never let the maids handle Ashley and I try to do the housechores on my own. I felt burned all the time! and it doesn't help when my hb thinks I'm bringing all this to myself ie not letting the maid help out with the chores or look after Ashley *shock horror*!!

And I pray that I don't fall sick because I don't have the luxury to rest at all and funny enough even if I did fall sick it's usually towards the evening when my hb's back :lol:

As for the grocery, maybe you should heed the ladies' advice to either do your grocery once a week or with your hb. Or you can also invest in those small trolley you often see in the wet markets? At least you don't have to carry them. As for me I usually do the grocery on my own and I'll use Ashley's stroller as a carrier for all the groceries. Of course to some it's not advisable but so far it works for me after a nearly 2 years of practice :)

And for the chores, you can always do one section of the house at a time that way you won't be so worn out and if you think you need some rest to h*** with the chores, your sanity and rest are more important.

And one more thing about the schedule, it's nothing wrong with it but my schedule are as follows

6.00-6.30am: Wake up and prepare Ashley feeding bottles (wash, sterilize), cook Ashley's porridge and prepare the ingredients for my lunch, dump the clothes into the washing machine

7.30-8.00am: Ashley bangun and her dad getting ready for work, I'll hang the clothes while her dad puts on a show for her

8.30-9.30am: Try to do housechores as quickly as I could

9.30-12.00pm: Play with Ashley before she sleeps

12.00-4/5pm: Ashley's naptime, I cook lunch and do whatever I can be it online, iron clothes, fold clothes

5.00pm: Ashley bangun goes to her ahkong's room and I'll clean up the room before my hb comes home

I know it's incomparable between Eva and Ashley cos of their age gap but sometimes I wish there are more than 24hrs in a day. And now that Ashley's much bigger, it's easier to manage my time but I noticed I've sleep less during the night sometimes I can stay up the whole night online and working on my blog.

Wow, Ashley naps for 4-5 hours 1 shot? And only 1 nap per day right? My 10mth old bb only naps for half hour, at most also 1 hour, and about 3 naps per day. If you got maid at home, do you still need to sweep and mop the whole house yourself? I guess you don't have to do that to living room, kitchen and your ILs' room right?

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Mabel, sometimes we can’t expect too much or hope for any return for what we did, for me, I just hope for my family live healthy and happily together ( of coz sometimes got argument lah but from there we can understand each other better)

I thought ur hb totally don’t know how to help u at first but now by reading ur other post later, found at least he can help u when u asked for it. So sometimes just close one eye & open one eye loh…lastime I'm a perfectionist, everything want to organise nicely so always nagging my hb to do the same, now I try not to be too much like that, otherwise make myself stress..

oh, Some ppl really don’t know how to be initiative & need to be pushed ! they might slowly know what to do later…

Ya, u better let him to go grocery shop since it is no good to carry heavy thing just after ur confinement! Carry baby is enough already what to say want to carry other stuffs somemore ???? I never go grocery shop myself..don’t think to carry so heavy things & luckily my hb willing to help on this…

Happi, we are considered really lucky liao :-) I even told my hb that I’m appreciate a lot for his caring & I love his cooking so much…I want him to know what from my heart & just let him know so that he will be happy too for what he did…& will do it without feeling stress ! actually besides cooking & what I mentioned, he really help me a lot in other things too ie. Bathing bb since born & also washing lampin which got bb’s poo etc…:-p

But sometimes he also stuck to surf or playing online games which I get hot sometimes when I’m busy handling bb ! I told him many times but he still like that then I try to get myself to play online games too, haha! Ask him to take turn & help me taking care bb ! & got 1 time, he really frus coz I’m playing without caring how he take care bb & I slept very very late ! So after that I told him this is how I feel when he is playing while I need help…haha! So he understand more now but still playing sometimes lah…I just ask him to help if I really can’t manage or otherwise I just let him play loh..Give and take mah :-)

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ohh to add on....

Happi, most of the time I also trying my best to be a super mom ! but time is so limited ! I wish I can have 48hours a day so I can do more things, hehe!

Aishiteru, not only 6am lah, I started to wake up 5am then slowly become 5.20am since I returned to work after my maternity leave :)

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Just for an addition. Seems like first time Moms have the tendency to get obsessed with their baby, everything also wants to do by themselves when it involves babies.

After 10 months, I found out, working in office is more relaxing and less tiring than staying at home taking care of baby. Summore, in office got air cond. Which is one of the factor why husbands can't understand, why it is so hard to take care of babies at home without air cond/fan.

Mei: Suggestion is, leave ur baby with ur hb at home for 1 full day, and u enjoy urself out. If ur hb can cover your everyday chores, then he will understand. *LOL*

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