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Jojo2009

Bad confinement lady

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I would like to share my bad experience with my confinement recently. I promised myself that I would never hired a CL again. This was my first baby and my husband and me are not experience with babies and all those pantang. We have to depend on this CL. She called herself "Chen Cheah" and was introduced by a medicine shop owner near my place. She asked for Rm3000 for her service and Rm200 ang pau. We were ok with it since she seems experience and friendly during the interview. My nightmare started the day I was discharged from hospital. Once we reached home she called the medicine shop ordering all sorts of herbs, groceries, foods etc including her own personal things. She asked my hubby to collect the things she ordered and paid. My hubby paid for everything thinking that all those things are for me and baby. This behaviour continued till the last day. She even asked my hubby to buy a double boiler eventhough I have one at home already. She also follow my hubby when he went out shopping and buy whatever she wanted. She acted as she was the boss. I cannot tahan her even during the first week and wanted to throw her out but my hubby stop me cos we didn't have anyone helping us. She bought extra pails and pots. And we wasted so much money on food too cos she cooked extra.

She didn't even take care of my baby properly. My baby belly button was bleeding and she said my baby scratched it himself!!! Baby was wearing mitten, how can he scratched it! Then my baby ear got infection cos water went inside when she bathe him. She said my baby saliva went inside his ear and not her fault. My baby was having nappy rash when she left cos she refused to use the nappy rash cream. I told her to use but she just ignored me. I was so frustrated cos I couldn't even protect my baby and have no control over my baby wellbeing. I felt so useless but couldn't do anything cos my hubby was on her side already and asked me to be quiet. When she knew that my hubby was on her side she was even more arrogant and bossy to me . Sometimes she scolded me too.To cut the story short after a week she left I realized my bird nest and liqiour(Dom and brandy and moh Kai chau) was missing. She even stolen my baby full moon ang pau money!! Called her but she denied it. She switch off her hp too cos I was asking her to return my things.

I will never trust a CL and let them stay in the kitchen alone. Btw she only cook 2 meals for me. Later I found out that she is supposed to 5 meals. I was too weak to monitor her after delivery and was sleeping most of the time.

Please becareful and check their background before u let a stranger make your life and home into a mess.

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Jojo,

*Hugs* That's really unprofessional behavior indeed. I'm curious based on what grounds the medicine shop owner would introduce this type of CL to you? Maybe they berpakat one ar? If you really want to pursue this, maybe u can make a police report and send an sms to her to inform that you'd alr made a report. Maybe she'll return those things to u, or at least, think twice before she steals from future mommies again.

I'm having my first bb too early next year, but dun plan to hire a CL because frankly, I just don't trust having strangers in my house, telling me what can or cannot be done, what to eat and handling my baby according to their methods. I'll manage between myself and mom, though my mom is also inexperienced in confinement ( only had me, one child last time ) and in taking care of babies.

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i have hired a CL too...im due next month...i hope she doesnt give me much problem...she was recommended by a friend...and my friend is quite fussy...so with her fussiness she highly recommends this lady...so i hope all will be good...

if she shows any sign or does anything which i dislike and after telling her not to do it she still does it, im prepared to fire her...hehe....there is mil to fall back on...hehe

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Marlene, I thought of making a police report too but my husband was against it. He asked me to forget it cos we didn't have evidence. I also think that the medicine shop pakat with the CL too. I went and complained at the shop and the boss just keep quiet. This CL has a bad heart too. She back stab about me to my hubby and make us fight so many times. It is good that your mom is helping u. I can't imagine that I let a stranger run our life for a month. I regretted it.

Smurf, u got to be tough with the CL. I was too soft and helpless. Hopefully yr mom or Mil will be at home to monitor the CL.

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Jojo, that CL is really bad. Please do reveal her name and contact numbers so the rest are aware of it.

Actually, your hb also quite wrong, should have stood by you and not her.

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Jojo, sorry to hear that you went thru all these difficult times with the CL.

I myself still contemplating if I should hiring a CL. My mom offered to do my confinement but the only problem is, I don't want her to get tired of looking after the baby and cooking. Hehhehe... I dont know how I'll behave/react once I deliver. Maybe lembik-lembik and no energy to do anything.

My mom not really keen on the idea that I hire a CL cos she has heard so many horror stories of CL. Anyway, we called a CL last week, she was so rude on the phone.

Jojo, take care now.

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Escudo, I confronted my husband after the CL left, he said that if we didn't treat her good he is afraid that she will abuse our baby. Moreover we don't have any old folks in our family whom we can seek advise. Till today I am still angry with the way my husband treated me during confinement. I remember during confinement my husband asked the CL if he can bring our baby out for jalan jalan. The CL said yes he can cos she herself also wants to go jalan jalan. I said "NO". My husband said was angry and said I purposely want to act against the CL. I know it is for my baby own health that we should not bring him out when baby is below one month old. I wasn't against anyone. This is just common sense too cos at that time H1N1 was spreading too. All this things make me piss off wth both my husband and the CL. Btw her name is "chen cheah" 珍姐. She terminated her tel oredi. If I ever see her again I think I will act like mad lady and scold her. Hahaha....... Or maybe I will chicken out cos I am too soft.

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Jojo, *hugs**hugs* for you. So sorry to hear that the CL and ur hubby during your confinement period. Sometimes i just dun understand how can ppl be so bad hearted to a bb and cheating ppl when they trusted themselves and their babies to them. I had a good CL during my 1st confinement, booked her for my 2nd one already. I consider myself lucky to have her. Alhtough she does not talk much, but the important thing is that she is very attentive to my bb every needs and thata is all matters to me.

My SIL had a CL which is very lazy, talkative and dunno how to take care of her bb. Her bb alwiz have nappy rash (she is a girl), her bottom and her private part is all red and we c also cannot tahan. She cries everytime she bath or change nappy. We have reprimand the CL but we dare not say too much, in case she will abuse the bb and put *xtra ingredient* during cooking for my SIL. Therefore, it is important to have someone around to spot check her. Luckily mine does not need supervision and she dun steal from us. :smile:

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All of u are so sweet. Thank you for listening. I also dare not tell the CL off directly cos I am afraid she will abuse my baby. I just tahan for the one month and I feel I am am bad mother too cos I couldn't even protect my baby. I can't even do much niw except to post my story in this forum. I almost get depression cos I was crying a lot during my confinement. Thank God she is gone. I think if I ever have a second baby I will not hire a CL anymore. Phobia with them oredi.

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If u can get help from your mom or MIL, then it is ok. If not, better get a fren's recommendation. Someone who has use the CL b4 and of coz a fren tat u trust (in case like the medicine shop case, sudah pakat). Anyway, all of tat has past...Look at ur precious now, and you can smile... :lol:

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I am currently having a bad confinement lady. Most likely going to terminate her early this Sunday.

Reasons:-

-Hold baby one hand, use the other hand make milk. So dangerous. Tell her we help hold baby, she said nvm.

-Don't allow us to breast feed our baby until I got pist and tell her off. She replied, if you want you take the baby and feed him yourself. This made my baby now seems to reject his mother's breast cause he is used to bottle already. My wife is quite upset.

-When wife is trying to breast feed her baby, she came and take baby away and bottle feed him.

-She used pacifier without our permission.

-Baby eyes got yellowish thingi coming out. She used her hand to wipe it out. When asked her to use cotton, she said nvm.

-Baby got jaundince and we said we have to bring him see dr. She said nvm why go. Lucky I went, my baby nearly have to change blood because of her.

-She always say nvm to the things we suggest, but when she say things we must do.

-She wanted to feed baby herb / chinese powder. I said no, she keeps grumbling.

-At night 10pm, no more hot water for my wife to wash hand, brush teeth, clean face. She is either sleeping or watching tv.

-She makes too little red date drink for my wife. 1 day only about 1 1/2 bottle. When said not enough, she said go make milo for your wife.

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Escudo, I confronted my husband after the CL left, he said that if we didn't treat her good he is afraid that she will abuse our baby. Moreover we don't have any old folks in our family whom we can seek advise. Till today I am still angry with the way my husband treated me during confinement. I remember during confinement my husband asked the CL if he can bring our baby out for jalan jalan. The CL said yes he can cos she herself also wants to go jalan jalan. I said "NO". My husband said was angry and said I purposely want to act against the CL. I know it is for my baby own health that we should not bring him out when baby is below one month old. I wasn't against anyone. This is just common sense too cos at that time H1N1 was spreading too. All this things make me piss off wth both my husband and the CL. Btw her name is "chen cheah" 珍姐. She terminated her tel oredi. If I ever see her again I think I will act like mad lady and scold her. Hahaha....... Or maybe I will chicken out cos I am too soft.

HI Jojo,

May i know is this 珍姐 comes from Rawang? my friend just recomanded me one CF which she just hired 2 months ago. She highly recomanded this 珍姐 to me and told me she is good. I trust her because she is also concern about CF quality.

Thanks!

Regards,

Sum Sum

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Sum sum,

The 珍姐 I mentioned is from Bentong and she stay in Ampang. She was recommended by a medicine shop on taman desa. I hope the CL that u mentioned is not the same one. My mum is still scolding her till today. I hope you will have a safe delivery and happy confinement.

auhckw,

You can terminate her service if you are not happy with her. The CL should listen to you because you are paying her. Mine also always said nvm when I asked her to do something. Asked her to use nappy rash cream, she said nvm la no need. Asked her to remove the stone from red dates she said nvm cos I after birth I can tahan the heatiness. We pay her but we have to tahan their laziness and bad attitude. I was having depression during confinement because of her. I couldn't tell her off because I have no one to help me and moreover my bb was sleeping with her. I was scared that she will do something to bb or put something in my food. The day she left was the happiest day for me.

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Sum sum,

The 珍姐 I mentioned is from Bentong and she stay in Ampang. She was recommended by a medicine shop on taman desa. I hope the CL that u mentioned is not the same one. My mum is still scolding her till today. I hope you will have a safe delivery and happy confinement.

Hi Jojo,

Nope. The 珍姐 that i hired is from Rawang and my friend also used her 2 months ago and she said okay. My friend quite particular one, she said okay then i trust her. Moreover, she told me that this is also recomended by her friends and friends. So, i am not too worry but this is depands of the CF's work quality.

You are right, we pay money to CL and they should listen to us too. CL may think that we are young people don't know the old transditional way and that's why they bully us. Also, no old people at home with you more worse. So, i told my hubby to ask her mother to come to our house for a month and stay with me. At least someone company me otherwise, staying with stranger the whole day.

Thanks Jojo. whatever happen just let it happne and we learned from the mistake.Now the most important thing to you is focus on your baby...... i would think you baby will give you motivation and support. Be happy...........

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Sum sum- Yes, you should ask your Mil to monitor her. Don't let her stay with your bb alone at least for the first week. I think u would know what kind of person she is after a few days. Enjoy your confinement and take good care of yourself.

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I have engaged a CL who just came for 3 days and create nightmare for me.

1) Never offer to bring meal upstairs for me but instead keep asking me go downstairs to eat. My MIL did ask her once to bring up dinner for me, after MIL left, she yell from downstairs ask me go down to eat (again)totally ignore what my MIL said. That is during first week of my confinement (She came 5 days later after I delivered because she wanted to attend a 3 days buffer organized by previous client at singapore)

2) 2nd day, I have late breakfast, then until 1.45pm I ask her if lunch is ready? she said she haven't cooked, becos I don't go downstairs yet!

3) After I express milk, she never come to collect the milk from me. When I bring the milk downstairs, saw her sitting there watching tv, never even turn her head to look at me or offer to take over the milk. End up I put the milk to fridge and put the pump to basin myself.

4) Once I sitting at living room alone with no fan turn on, she came out from her room (after taking afternoon nap!), then turn on the fan, where i was sitting down below the fan! (this is first time). At nite, when I had dinner with hubby, and turn on Low fan, she again came out from bedroom, and first thing she turn the fan to HIGH power at the dinner table. I was still eating my dinner below the fan. She said she is very hot becos all the doors and windows are close. Then I replied her said I cannot get wind, then she said she knows, but the high power fan is still on, just becos she also want to sit at dining table to have her dinner already.

5) After my baby vomit some milk on his shirt, she told me, little bit wet only no need changed (she realised it before she start her dinner but didn't change the cloth becos she gan cheong to eat). The wet portion is about 50cent large. Then I go change the baby cloth myself, and diaper together becos baby poo poo already. Then, my baby suddenly pee before I get to put diaper on him. Baby pee on the napkin and a cloth I use to cover the bedsheet. I saw both are wet, but the CL said the cloth underneath is not wet no need change. Then I said it's wet! She again said "NVM, IT WILL DRY!" OMG. I said cannot it smell stings. then only she reluctantly tk both to wash.

6) From first day, she already told me her previous client give her XXX sing dollar ang pao. She said she never get so much before. So money face.

7) She thinks she is very experience and refuse to listen to ppl or instruction. And like to demand this and that. She keep on ask my MIL to buy her things to eat for breakfast & tea time, and even specify that she don't eat bread, only eat cake with no cream. When my MIL brought back the kuih, she is first to eat herself and don even bother to offer to bring up for me to eat. I never had any tea time from her because I din demand and she never ask if I need one also. Though I don feel to eat.

8 ) Once, she again busy eating the kuih, sit beside me, watch me feed my baby myself like big boss. never offer to help. somemore say why I din burp the baby. this should her job, but she is not doing because she is so busy eating at that time...

With all these, I have no reason to keep her anymore. I believe no1 else will. She even dare to tell me no1 complaint her before. I am not paying her low. standard RM3k + RM200 ang pao which she demanded. I never ask for discount, yet she give this kind of service.

Conclusion, she is very lazy and money face. I have changed her now and hopefully my 2nd CL will be better. It should be, as I think will not have anyone worse than her.

BTW, her name is call "lan che" 016-9xxxxxx

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dear jelijenny,

sorry to know what had happen to you.. it is really hard to find good cl nowadays..all talk abt money only.. hope u get a good cl this 2nd time.. btw, may i know which lan che that you've hired? my sil jz confirm one cl with the same name.. possible to post her contact details here? would certainly wanna avoid her.. thanks!

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Nicole80, I have PM you the contact number of the CL.

I don wish to publish her contact number here as I don mean to backstab her. I just wish to express my depression and to let other knows that if they face this kind of CL, don hesitate to fire them. As I also spent 1 nite discussing with my hubby whether to fire her because scare the new CL also may be the same. My hubby keep analyse the situation for me saying that it could be because we don hv maid, or we pay not enough for her as she get Sing2K from last client. But if she want more money, then she shall either to do Sing client only or ask for more in the first place. Not giving this kind of service. The price I pay her is what she ask for, I din pay less for her.

After I read back wat I have posted above, I have more confident that my decision is right because this CL is too OVER. Somemore her attitude is very bad as well, don listen to instruction. She likes that she will do, if not, just ignore totally. I just really hope that my CL coming tmr will be a good 1. This is my 2nd child, so I know what a CL shall do for the basic. Somemore my sis & bro also got baby before. When I call up to other CL to tell them abt my situation, they all also said this CL is not responsible, not doing what suppose to be. Is like I pay money but still I need to do myself.

Another thing I also not happy is, suppose my NDD is mid Nov which I told her in early of the year, she should have reserve this 28 days for me rite. No, she din, because she booked her vacation at end of Nov, which mean she dun even bother about my booking! Then before I pay her deposit, she did mention there is another client contact her for early Nov but not yet pay, and she promise said that she will do for me if I paid before that client. Then during 1 conversation she ownself told me that, she told the other client, she will do who if who deliver first! What kind of CL is that. What she told me during booking is totally bullsh*t.

But I also cannot say she is 100% bad, because she still do the basic job like take care baby during midnight and cook my meal.

Just that, she is:

1) Not hygiene

- baby cloth wet dun1 change

- Pee already say "It will dry"

2) Not caring

- use cold water from tap to wipe baby face

- force my baby to drink 3 oz bbmilk at 1 time (my baby is only 7 days old) because she dun1 pour the milk into 2 separate bottle, so only need to wash 1 bottle.

- expect me walk down to hv meal else she no need cook tot I dun1 eat - say can do exercise (this is still my first week of CL)

- ask me bring the bath tong downstair myself after wipe body

- ask me go downstairs to drink soup for supper myself.

- only think of eat eat eat every time. She really have 5 meals a day for herself. Not me. She never ask if I want teatime or supper.

3) Not responsible - feed baby with the eyes looking at tv instead of baby.

4) Bad attitude

- don listen to my MIL say

- don admit mistake, she lost my MIL herbal medicine that my MIL pass to her personally, somemore say never touch the thing and dono where is it. Somemore say "how? I vomit out for you?"

I so pity myself after reading thru my own post, what a bad luck I have to have this CL. :(

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sigh .. listen too many horror stories abt CL.

I considered as lucky and not so lucky =P

Lucky is that we do not hired CL but the not so lucky is I have to jaga my potato all by myself, alto HB is at home but he is owes going out to run the errand and cook for me and at night he is zzz like a pig and me!? sigh ..

To get a good CL is nv easy despite how much we paid to them, just that nv pay them too much deposit, so that you can determine her service easily.

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nicole80,

That's so terrible!!! I hope your replacement will be a better one.

Ling,

Ok la, you managed to pull through also ma :D. I took care of ZT too during confinement with my mom's help during the day but on night duty alone & I "survived", hehe. In a way I am glad I chose to do it this way cos the experience is priceless!

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me too..

during confinement period i hardly got enough sleep

because i'm worried that not enough milk and breast engorged

i pumped around the clock. every 3hrs after pump will feed baby

and then wash the pump and sterilise it... then 2hrs to sleep and

wake up again to repeat the routine.. until i beh tahan change to pump 6hrs intervel

luckily i got enough milk.

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janice & sam,

hahahaha .. but my case is day and night also ME =P

and HB!? either out!? cooking? resting? or zzz and me!? only ME and Potato, but yeah .. I put thru it and the experience is $$ can't buy. =)

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nicole80,

That's so terrible!!! I hope your replacement will be a better one.

dear janicelly, it's not me.. it happened to jelijenny... hope things are working well for her now =)

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BG,

me too day time also me... coz my mom is too old already to help me

but then after few weeks i beh tahan coz my son dont want to sleep at night

eyes open wide wide...... i took pou sam drink.

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