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yahiko

Do you give ang pow?

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I have this thinking and cannot have the answer.

Situation 1.

My cousin sister have ROM and family with family ONLY dinner and she giving angpau on the nearest CNY

Situation 2.

My Brother have ROM only no dinner no nothing and when he come back for CNY my mum say he no need give ang pau..

but when we visit my cousin house my aunty (my bro "kai ma") say he must give...

Now Im going to marry next year same situation... like my cousin ROM and dinner with Family Only..( the normal eat eat thing) no ceremony no nothing...

so wan give or dowan give???

is a silly question I know but just really wanna heard from those who have experience :wub::wub:

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I have this thinking and cannot have the answer.

Situation 1.

My cousin sister have ROM and family with family ONLY dinner and she giving angpau on the nearest CNY

Situation 2.

My Brother have ROM only no dinner no nothing and when he come back for CNY my mum say he no need give ang pau..

but when we visit my cousin house my aunty (my bro "kai ma") say he must give...

Now Im going to marry next year same situation... like my cousin ROM and dinner with Family Only..( the normal eat eat thing) no ceremony no nothing...

so wan give or dowan give???

is a silly question I know but just really wanna heard from those who have experience :wub::wub:

This is a tricky question.

If you think you are married, you give ang pow.

If you think u are engaged (even after ROM and you have not go through traditional ceremony), you can wait after your traditional ceremony.)

But from your situation, you didn't mentioned about your AD, I assume you have dinner only and there is not traditional ceremony.

So, I can say that you are already married after ROM if there is no other wedding ceremony to take place.

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well, this is my opinion.

1) if you ONLY have ROM, dinner with family and dont have AD = traditional chinese ceremony (chut mun, tea ceremony) then yes you should be giving coz ROM is yr official wedding ceremony in this case and you dont plan to have an official AD anymore.

2) If you just had ROM but your AD (chut mun, tea ceremony) is after CNY then this CNY you dont have to give because your traditional ceremony is not complete yet. Following tradition is as long as you haven't do your AD then you dont give until you do it (but this option is only if you are doing your AD in future)

tradition wise, AD is when we are officially married.

but if you dont have AD then ROM is counted as officially married (court of law)

I noticed your engagement is on engagement is on Oct'2010, your ROM in Nov'2010 and you had your AD & Dinner reception on Jan 2012. Since you planned to have AD in 2012 then you dont have to give angpow this year coz you havent do your AD yet.

Its the same case with me. My ROM was in Dec 2010 and my AD is on May 2011. This year I'm not giving angpow yet as according to my parents as long as they haven't drink the "son in law" tea he is not a son in law yet LOL and i'm to have my reunion dinner at my own home instead of his house as I'm not officially daughter in law until my mother in law acknowledge me during tea ceremony and put on the veil.

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Yup, that's what happened to me. I did my ROM in July 2007 and then my AD was in Feb 2008. So for CNY 2008, I didn't give any angpaus out - people, like my cousins, don't ask as well because they don't consider me married until they attend my wedding dinner.

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yes..!! tht's right..! i totally agreed with skye opinion!

my ROM is on oct 2010 my AD will be on Oct 2011, so everyone of frens say after ROM must give angpao d.. but don need yet, as my mum also say that we haven't go for chinese trand officially wedding ceremony.So this is our last year to collect angpao..hehhehe..

well, this is my opinion.

1) if you ONLY have ROM, dinner with family and dont have AD = traditional chinese ceremony (chut mun, tea ceremony) then yes you should be giving coz ROM is yr official wedding ceremony in this case and you dont plan to have an official AD anymore.

2) If you just had ROM but your AD (chut mun, tea ceremony) is after CNY then this CNY you dont have to give because your traditional ceremony is not complete yet. Following tradition is as long as you haven't do your AD then you dont give until you do it (but this option is only if you are doing your AD in future)

tradition wise, AD is when we are officially married.

but if you dont have AD then ROM is counted as officially married (court of law)

I noticed your engagement is on engagement is on Oct'2010, your ROM in Nov'2010 and you had your AD & Dinner reception on Jan 2012. Since you planned to have AD in 2012 then you dont have to give angpow this year coz you havent do your AD yet.

Its the same case with me. My ROM was in Dec 2010 and my AD is on May 2011. This year I'm not giving angpow yet as according to my parents as long as they haven't drink the "son in law" tea he is not a son in law yet LOL and i'm to have my reunion dinner at my own home instead of his house as I'm not officially daughter in law until my mother in law acknowledge me during tea ceremony and put on the veil.

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woo~ the thread still alive :D

just to update.

ROM over and AD plan on 2013.. yes and i am still collection angpow :lol:

but some of the aunty dont give anymore when they found out i ROM liau :dry:

when cousin ask for angpow i will defend by saying " I not yet marry also :w coz not yet AD" :wink:

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