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What will you do if MIL keep on telling u that one day she will move in and stay with u?

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U got a house, U are getting married soon. Reason for getting a house is so that the both of u will have privacy but mil keep on telling u that one day she will move to ur house and stay with u because ur hubby is her eldest son...

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it is always true when ppl say, marrying is not js about 2 people.. people will always having problem with in laws may it b MIL or SIL. Despite having a loving husband and great MIL, my prob is with SIL. Yeah, im staying with them. Perhaps we r all brought up differently by our own parents. Mine and them totally different. One year into the marriage, i still hope i can tolerate and try to think positive or to treat them as invisible. I am js doing my part as daugther in law. After all, i cant force them to think, do and act the way i wan them to do. As long as they dont cross the line, im ok with it.

However, the best will definitely still moving out without MIL or FIL or anyone of the family staying with u. If the MIL n FIL r good to you, it shuoldnt be a prob. After all, we also hope that one day when we grow old, we wil have a child to be with. Sometimes just got to put ourselves in their shoes.. The summary is, im ok if my MIL move in with me. :lol:

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errr.... this depends lo... some MIL is very accommodating and nice then its alright but if those fussy one.. then sorry lo. sure got argument one day.

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For me, I would prefer the house is under both of us instead of under ILs' name, simply because I have the right for my house instead of under their 'shelter' =D and if I wanna choose, it is okie to welcome ILs but not for the daughters who had marry away, sorry ho .. I cannot =P and there is no logic that they still staying with us and under our care.

Most mother will side her own daughter instead of DIL and if dealing with $$ that's lagi a NO NO NO!!! so ILs are welcome, SIL & Husband, sorry. =P

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How about "WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE HOME!"

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hmmm, would run the other way if not married yet!

is this a chinese thing to live with yr eldest or fave son? i understd if the mom is old or unable to care for herself or alone, but don't they have a life & house or other kids before their son got married? anyways, for yr own peace of mind & for a working relationship with MIL, try to avoid at all possible costs. unless u're the type that can tolerate or give-in, or need a babysitter for yr child, wouldn't agree to MIL living in. own mom is ok though. ;)

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I might sound abit rude but why cant let MIL stay together but own mum can?? If really dont want to saty with MIL then must apply the same rule to everyone either to own mother, own father, own brothers etc.. I think all parent are great coz one parent can take care of many children but many children cant even take care of the only one parent...one day , we also will be old and hope to stay with children and for them to taking care of us...thus, i fully support to stay with In laws.

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hehe i totally no no staying with mil.

but currently hb is staying with my mum. cos sis overseas..so left mum alone.

while hb got elder bro & sis to stay wit his parent.

seriously staying with elders..no matter they r ur in law or own parent..sure got arguement. just tat if stay with ur mum, today quarel, tmr forgot jor.

homesofbeauties..

about ur q..i did fuss tat i 'm not willing to stay with hb's parent from d day i start dating with him.

hehe his whole family knew about it. so ... u will be knew as bad dil (initially). so what. at least i have a "quiet & nice" home to go back.....

aiya just compromise on the other stuff lor :lol:

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For me, I would prefer the house is under both of us instead of under ILs' name, simply because I have the right for my house instead of under their 'shelter' =D and if I wanna choose, it is okie to welcome ILs but not for the daughters who had marry away, sorry ho .. I cannot =P and there is no logic that they still staying with us and under our care.

Most mother will side her own daughter instead of DIL and if dealing with $ that's lagi a NO NO NO!!! so ILs are welcome, SIL & Husband, sorry. =P

I agree with you. Better under our name than their names. I think I will not welcome any of her daughter to stay or overnights. Now I can feel it after my ROM last week. Start to feel what you all have been feeling all this while. MIL will only side her daughter...DIL and D is different status, different treatment. In front of her son she may say like as if she care so much. At the back, she is so different...

Another thing is that, if we want to stay with them, why in the first place we wanna buy a house...Sometimes I think they are really too much and inconsiderate!!!

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for me, i dun mind to stay with PIL because they r quite understanding & open minded.

Both of us plan to buy our own house within 1 or 2 years. (we still stay with PIL now) We did invite PIL to stay together. i know that my MIL sure wanna bring my youngest BIL together because he still study, I dun mind that BIL stay together b4 he get marry but no for long term. luckily, my HB's dun hv any sister. so, no way for my MIL compare me to her daughter.

Main purpose for me to buy a house is (1) can have own privacy; (2) i have my right for my own house - can do whatever to my own house; (3) my family members can stay at our house when they come over rather than stay in hotel & (4) more spare for the kids in future.

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Yikes I can’t ever imagine having my MIL stay with us. It really takes away the privacy and comfort level. It’s a tough situation to be in. What does your husband have to say about it? Maybe it's best for you to talk to him. If your MIL gets along well with you then it should be bearable but if she’s not, that definitely wont be fun having her around!

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If your MIL is an easy-going person, why not?

HB already told me, he never expect me to stay with his parents, I just keep quiet =P

And now he said, I don't have to worry about it anymore, both parents already meet together in heaven.

But inside my heart, maybe I don't mind to stay with them if they are not the leceh person but I never had the chance to get along with them. So it will be always a question for me, can I stay with his parents? I dunno and I never can find the answer.

It is always no harm to own your property and if you can't stay with your inlaws, discuss it with your HB nicely, his parents can have a short stay with you people but not permanently move in with you people, that's to avoid any conflict in anywhere and causing your HB in the middle of no way to solve it.

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For sure I'm going to stay with my future parents in law, and I'm okay with it, they are nice people anyway. My boy friend's parents like me pretty much, especially his mother :lol:

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:lol:

Lets just hope they don't change AFTER you get married.

well it is not about them changing.. but meeting and spending time with ILs is totally different from staying with them under the same roof and having to deal with them on daily basis...

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:lol:

Lets just hope they don't change AFTER you get married.

I'm just here to share a testimony that there IS hope and possibility to stay with in laws peacefully. Just a word of encouragement to those who are facing in laws problems.

:wink:

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yes, its nice of u for being positive. but seems that there are only 10% out of 100 PIL are nice. Depends on yr luck,dear.

:lol:

Lets just hope they don't change AFTER you get married.

I'm just here to share a testimony that there IS hope and possibility to stay with in laws peacefully. Just a word of encouragement to those who are facing in laws problems.

:wink:

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:lol:

Lets just hope they don't change AFTER you get married.

I totally agree. I went through exactly the same thing. In the first few months of the relationship between me and my bf, I thought he has a lovely family. Everyone is so nice and friendly, especially his mother and sisters. They are a bunch of angels, I thought. And if you asked me back then if I will stay with my in-laws, I will have totally no problem. But it took me only few months to discover their true colours.

We have totally different family upbringings and comes from different background. We are like two different worlds. There are so many things about them which I totally disagree. Then, I realised, it's impossible for all of us to stay under one roof. Not only it's difficult to live together with them, but if I do, I am sure in future, my bf will be in a difficult position - the war between his family and wife. To save our relationship from all this unnecessary trouble, I have told him, for our sake as well as for his family members's sake, we must move out and get a place of our own.

I believe that family is important. I have no doubt about it. But once we are married, our priorities will be different. No matter how close ties among family members are, it's always good to be able to draw a line to it. Sometimes, staying apart will make the bond even stronger, minus all the unnecessary arguments. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, no?

So, as to the question if I will ever stay with my in laws, I would say this : over my dead body! :P

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[

I am now staying with PIL, luckily , MIL is super nice. She iron my clothes, cook dinner take care of household stuff. This is a bliss for me as I am not good in doing house hold chores. Plus hubby is away most of time, so at least I am not alone. Problem is SIL and family also staying under one roof.

SIL is super lazy and does not do house work, and my super nice MIL take care of everything from bathing the kids to feeding them dinner.

Sometimes, MIL also complaint in front of me. What to do, she did it on her own will. If MIL would have been more tough, it would be good for SIL since moving forward, they have to move out from our house.

SIL is super dependent on MIL, cos she buys food and cook for them. SIL said has financial problem, but this year, she bought 2 LVs. SIL can be super kiam siap on food that she can starve her kids and save up the money for LV. When I see this, I was shocked! What kinda of mum is that?? :dash2:

Different family have different "culture" but sometimes, I just could not comprehend.....Anyway, I am waiting for the day she move out from our house........ :cool:

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[

I am now staying with PIL, luckily , MIL is super nice. She iron my clothes, cook dinner take care of household stuff. This is a bliss for me as I am not good in doing house hold chores. Plus hubby is away most of time, so at least I am not alone. Problem is SIL and family also staying under one roof.

SIL is super lazy and does not do house work, and my super nice MIL take care of everything from bathing the kids to feeding them dinner.

Sometimes, MIL also complaint in front of me. What to do, she did it on her own will. If MIL would have been more tough, it would be good for SIL since moving forward, they have to move out from our house.

SIL is super dependent on MIL, cos she buys food and cook for them. SIL said has financial problem, but this year, she bought 2 LVs. SIL can be super kiam siap on food that she can starve her kids and save up the money for LV. When I see this, I was shocked! What kinda of mum is that?? :dash2:

Different family have different "culture" but sometimes, I just could not comprehend.....Anyway, I am waiting for the day she move out from our house........ :cool:

So u admit you are not good in doing house work, how sure are u your MIL dont complain the same abt u to your SIL?

just wondering... dont get me wrong

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[

I am now staying with PIL, luckily , MIL is super nice. She iron my clothes, cook dinner take care of household stuff. This is a bliss for me as I am not good in doing house hold chores. Plus hubby is away most of time, so at least I am not alone. Problem is SIL and family also staying under one roof.

SIL is super lazy and does not do house work, and my super nice MIL take care of everything from bathing the kids to feeding them dinner.

Sometimes, MIL also complaint in front of me. What to do, she did it on her own will. If MIL would have been more tough, it would be good for SIL since moving forward, they have to move out from our house.

SIL is super dependent on MIL, cos she buys food and cook for them. SIL said has financial problem, but this year, she bought 2 LVs. SIL can be super kiam siap on food that she can starve her kids and save up the money for LV. When I see this, I was shocked! What kinda of mum is that?? :dash2:

Different family have different "culture" but sometimes, I just could not comprehend.....Anyway, I am waiting for the day she move out from our house........ :cool:

So u admit you are not good in doing house work, how sure are u your MIL dont complain the same abt u to your SIL?

just wondering... dont get me wrong

yup.... whenever mil complaint sil (hubby bro's wife) in front of me....

i will think... will she complaint the same to sil about me...?? and the reason why she complaint sil to me is just to take chance to hint me...??

:lol:

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too much of a good thing can be dangerous.. MIL who helps a lot in the house might be holding something inside her due to this... it is different if a mother does the same work for her own daughter.. likewise i am a good DIL when MIL is over, i do everything for her, but that doesnt mean i enjoy having her over :P but i just dont want to make her do my work for me, later if she is tired, or sick, i dont want anyone to point fingers on me for 'making use of her'

Also i dont believe (neither do i have the luxury) to enjoy my mom or my MIL do all my hseworks and babysitting for me.. i gladly do it myself becos i know once i get the habit of being 'helped' by them, i might turn lazy or irresponsible to my own duties...it is only natural for a human being to be that way

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