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firsttimemum

Baby is Attached to Babysitter

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My baby is being taken care of by a relative. Over time, I noticed that my baby is becoming more and more attached to my relative. So much so, sometimes I think that my baby prefers the company of others to myself and my husband.

We have tried spending as much time as possible with our baby. There seem to be little improvement.

I feel really sad to see my baby reacts this way.

Do any of you have the same problem and how are you dealing with it?

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I guess this is a problem that all full time working parents face, simply because this country does not have a system in place to provide support for working mothers.

What we can do is spend as much time as possible with the baby while we are not working - and do everything with the baby during the free time - bathing, feeding, change diapers, grocery shopping...the works...no matter how inconvenient it gets.

And don't worry - The baby would know who is the Mum and Dad!

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me and my wife are also first time parents and working full-time. Like what the yummymummy said, try to spend every 'available' time with the Baby. Talk to the Baby, play with the Baby, feed the Baby and cleanning the Baby.

What you can do is to sit down and put a pillow on your lap and place the Baby on the pillow facing you and talk and play with the Baby. Carress and kiss Baby more to build the Bond and do this every night before Baby sleep and right when Baby wakes up. Important to always tell your Baby that Mummy and Daddy loves you. I believe that Baby will know who is the Mummy and Daddy.

But do look at the bright pic - it means that u have a good BS and you can have a peace of mind when Baby is not with you. Imagine if you go back and u always see Baby crying at the BS, you will have more worries.

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don't worry, most probably this is only temporary. When i first sent my gal to babysitter, i got to know that the other 2 kids who she also takes care calls my bbsitter 'mama' and call their own mum as 'mummy', i was shocked and immediately told my gal in front of my bbsitter (my gal only 3mths old that time) that she can only call me as mama or mummy, that is called 'AUNTY!'.

so from the beginning, i already declared that my gal shouldn't be that attached to my sitter till calling her 'mama' or mummy. later as i was teaching my gal to call me, and i said i prefer her to call me 'mama', my sitter added in and said she teaching my gal to call me 'mi mi' coz she felt that's cute and her own grandson calls her daughter that too. i stressed few times that i want my gal to call me 'mama'. i really disliked it that time, thinking who is she to decide and teach my gal what to call me??!! finally when my gal first called me and till now, she calls me 'ma' or 'ma ma', which i feel proud of, coz she finally chose her own decision and it sided to my preference, hahaha..

the first few days when i sent her to the sitter, i felt very reluctant and missed my bb very much from work. every morning i told her that mummy miss you so much, but mummy gotta go work, so you be good gal at aunty's house ok? that time she was only 3 months old. i don't know if she understands or not, bt i simply wished to tell her that i really wished to be with her all the time, but i just can't afford coz i have to work. when passing her to sitter, i will tell my gal again that mummy will come collect you as soon as mummy finish work ok? and sayang her before leaving.

maybe that's how my gal is conditioned, so since small till now, whenever she see that i have reached, she will fast come to the door, be it when she knows how to crawl that time or now that she is walking. and then she'll be impatient and signal to them to take the keys or open the door for me to go in. i made it a point that each time i went in the house, or before even stepping into the house, i fast carry her, so she's used to it. if i don't do it or if i fast rush to the back of house to wash hands first, she would be crying, hahha...she is conditioned and knows that when i reach, it's time to leave that house and back to mummy's warm arms.

so no matter how small your baby is, try to make him/her feel that that place of babysitter's is ony her temporary place during the day while you are working. But once you get him/her, you are the ONLY ONE who will give him/her the best love that he/she needs.

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firsttimemum,

There was an experiment carried out by a zoologist in which chicks were shown a balloon immediately after they were hatched. Later on, when their mother hen and the balloon were made to appear within their view a few feet away, the chicks ran for the balloon instead of for their mother.

What does this show? It shows the chicks already got bonded to the balloon instead of their mother.

Equivalent phenomenon can also happen to human babies. They naturally get bonded more to the persons they see and react more of the time.

As what CFA says, you don't have to worry. Instead you should be happy because it indicates that you have a good babysitter. Babies are smart. They instinctively know who love them and who don't. And they natural get bonded to those who take care of them with love.

You may not like to agree with what I'm going to say next. In fact, your worry is actually your jealousy. You are jealous to see that your baby seems to like others more than it likes you. In your heart you say,"Come on, I'm your mother! That person is not your mother. How come you love me less than you love her?"

But, again, don't worry. That jealousy of yours doesn't mean you're bad. It's natural. It simply shows you love your baby, and it hurts if it doesn't seem to "love" you back in the same way.

Well, by the way, no matter what, kids are bound to know who their parents are when they grow up. So, why worry? If you are "jealous", then try to beat your babysitter by showering your bundle of joy with more overwhelming affection whenever you can.

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