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Vievie

Ending it ?

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Yes, seeing that he's acquainted with a tai lo. There is potential for things to turn bad. Have someone nearby to bail you our if he turns violent (seeing that he has changed and is already rude to you). Sad it has come to this. Just be careful. You need to talk things through, in a controlled environment.

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Yes, he changed n he admitted that he change but just he is not so loving like previous . A friend if him it's also my friend actually asked him about our problems and just giving him some suggestion and did aak him is it there no other way besides divorce , he said to that friends it's our problem And ask him not to interfere . See he doesn't wNt to listen to other people sugustion either . You know even submiting the tax he doesn't want to do it , he think that his boss have a very powerful background so in future the government if Check on him the boss can kau Tim for him , see he is so into his boss that he thinks that the boss can back him up if he got anything happen to him .

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Vievie, to a degree, your HB is right. No one else should be involved in something as personal as your marriage unless you BOTH are okay about it. My HB and I never talk about our problems with anyone else unless the other person is comfy with the idea of people knowing such intimate details. It speaks a lot about your relationship and how you treat/view each other.

People change. If you think your HB's change is "huge" because of this job/boss, wait till you have children. You'll find yourself and your relationship changing before your eyes. Change is a normal cause of nature. In fact, it is lack of change that is worrisome. It means that the person hasn't grown - good or bad is not the point.

Perhaps your HB feels that he has much to learn from a man of power. People who desire power are often those who are insecure or have lots of desires in their life - money is one of them. As much as you don't like your boss, as a wife and partner for life, you'll need to sit down with him and talk about your future as a family. Don't question him but ask him to share more about what he wants, expects and desires from you. Try to understand and hopefully, with the understanding, you'll learn to accept and adjust your own expectations towards your marriage.

You both have ROMed already. Forget about the dinner and wedding banquet. In the eyes of the law, you are both married and way passed annulment. Find a way to move in together - I still don't know why you're not living together after your ROM - and start acting and living the part - as a married couple.

The challenge to every marriage is how to make it last even when you both have grown a little older, a little jaded and maybe sometimes a little boring. In other words, you need to adapt to change. I look at my own marriage - three years on - and see how it has differed so much from my dating time but it doesn't make it less fun or exciting or rewarding. It's just a different set of rewards and results.

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I did SMS him tonight I said , when is the best time to meet because it's been a month already , but no reply ??? Haiz... I think it's gonna be the end of the world , I am thinking of giving up already , I am tired of all this relationship .

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It's not gonna be end of the world. no worry vivie. Give him sometime to get back to you on the time to meet. if he still dont by end of today, you may propose a time to meet him? I agree with Meiteoh, this problem is supposed to be between you and your HB, what is the point of getting other ppl involve? you may just complicate the situation and too, irritates your HB. Remember, you choose to be with this man, thus you must be prepared to face whatever consequences and problems that may arise.Be patient and discuss with him

I did SMS him tonight I said , when is the best time to meet because it's been a month already , but no reply ??? Haiz... I think it's gonna be the end of the world , I am thinking of giving up already , I am tired of all this relationship .

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Why not just call him instead of SMS?

Hi All,

This topic is really attract my attention been follow up this for past 2 days. I am into similar situation too, still confused whether get divorce or not. Sigh..

We have ROM for a year & staying together i think its little bit better than Vievie case. We also have $$$ argument due to his jobless and in fact we are having this problem since a year ago coz we are in the mist of our wedd prep due to our tight budget. $$$ issue can be solve i know, every family facing this prob on & off. But the main point is that he love to go online & registered for some funny dating thingy. E.g like Tagged, badoo..not sure u guys knows about those websites.

And i found out that he is approaching girls and exchange hp and talk funny things too. From what i can see from the displayed pic they either is horny malays or very young youngesters. Oh yeha, we are 34 this year. I don't understand why he still doing it sicne he is married. Then i confront him, why he wanted to do it? Yes, he admitted it and he said nothing is going coz on and it is just for fun. My thinking is what if thsoe girls response and ask for meet up? I think its possible for a cat not to eat thier fish right??

we have been in cold war for 2 weeks now. Frankly i don't want this..i am always a happy go lucky person but this really hold me on. When i closed my eyes, i saw those pic and some message that he sent. I felt so disgusting.

I know i sholud not interfere this topic by sharing my story here, coz it is totally different person. But i think we have the same common which still struggle whether go divorce or not. Girls..really need your advice.

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Sometimes I feel guys are not mature enough .like when we girls get married we r really into it , we want to have a happy family , a loving husband , and later move on and have kids . Guys are different , for me I think they get married and still they go flirt outside and they never think of the wife feeling , they think no matter what they do the wife will forgive him . Then when the wife find out n we quarrel they will always think that the wife is so troublesome and thrn they will look for girls outside . Guys always compare outside girls with the wife , they think that the girls are always the best .If hb

n wife have problem what can they do , mayb ur hb can only share prob with them , the only thing that the girl can do it's quietly listen n give some opinion , this make ur hb think that the girl understand him better then the wife do . But we as a wife we can't just sit n listen . We have to solve the problem , if ur hb die u will die too because we r a family . If ur hb die that girl outside got nothing to loose cuz it's none of her business. She don't give a damn if ur hb are on debt , on drug , or what ever worst senario u can think of . But as wife we are in the same ship , that's the different .

After a night , I waited for his reply , and he no reply me , I think I should just go straight to him and ask him get the paper done . I think he is not willing to talk about it . If he do care he should have reply me last night . Last night I always tell my self that maybe he is bz that's y he reply late , but when I woke up this morning as I see my phone there's no reply yet .

Its really tough to go thru this alone ., after 8 years relationship , shold I be happy or sad . Every moment every minute I am thinking about this problem , I feel my self getting 10 years older just with in this month because not been happy and still have to go on life , work , and still need to pretend like nothing happen when I am outside n with my family . Everyday when I get home I will lock myself in room , and I even bought a book of relationship / marriage and learning about it , why men n woman are so different .it might be too late to learn but at least if in future I found someone better I will understand men better .

If he is still not willing to make better or solve things , I think it's not worth for me to go on with people like this , he don't deserve me . I can get someone better then him n treat me better in future , when we quarrel he always ask me to find someone better , well I think he mean it . I will find someone better or else being single isn't that bad too , I still have my family who loves me .

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Sometimes I feel guys are not mature enough .like when we girls get married we r really into it , we want to have a happy family , a loving husband , and later move on and have kids . Guys are different , for me I think they get married and still they go flirt outside and they never think of the wife feeling , they think no matter what they do the wife will forgive him . Then when the wife find out n we quarrel they will always think that the wife is so troublesome and thrn they will look for girls outside . Guys always compare outside girls with the wife , they think that the girls are always the best .If hb

n wife have problem what can they do , mayb ur hb can only share prob with them , the only thing that the girl can do it's quietly listen n give some opinion , this make ur hb think that the girl understand him better then the wife do . But we as a wife we can't just sit n listen . We have to solve the problem , if ur hb die u will die too because we r a family . If ur hb die that girl outside got nothing to loose cuz it's none of her business. She don't give a damn if ur hb are on debt , on drug , or what ever worst senario u can think of . But as wife we are in the same ship , that's the different .

After a night , I waited for his reply , and he no reply me , I think I should just go straight to him and ask him get the paper done . I think he is not willing to talk about it . If he do care he should have reply me last night . Last night I always tell my self that maybe he is bz that's y he reply late , but when I woke up this morning as I see my phone there's no reply yet .

Its really tough to go thru this alone ., after 8 years relationship , shold I be happy or sad . Every moment every minute I am thinking about this problem , I feel my self getting 10 years older just with in this month because not been happy and still have to go on life , work , and still need to pretend like nothing happen when I am outside n with my family . Everyday when I get home I will lock myself in room , and I even bought a book of relationship / marriage and learning about it , why men n woman are so different .it might be too late to learn but at least if in future I found someone better I will understand men better .

If he is still not willing to make better or solve things , I think it's not worth for me to go on with people like this , he don't deserve me . I can get someone better then him n treat me better in future , when we quarrel he always ask me to find someone better , well I think he mean it . I will find someone better or else being single isn't that bad too , I still have my family who loves me .

Hey Vie,

I have the same feeling as u. We all girls not joke about marriage. But man are i guess. The best part is, he is the one who mentioned divorce and i told my best fren she asked me even we are wife to them somehow er cant lost our dignity. And we all woman now so independent, that's why nows a day man always think,dont care after divorce sure he will get another one and since girls now can take care of themselves after seperated.But they never realised how deep is the cut that they gave us. How long time needed to heal that??!!

But to me marriage and carrer is totally different story as to us family comes first..evne how powerfull we at office. But at home we have to take care of our family cook for them make sure our hubby or kids are full and not in hunger. Or have to make sure hosue choas is done or not..all these thats y make man feel we are a maid or grumpy woman like their mum.

I still not sure is there a 3rd party or not out there. But what i sure is i don't trust him anymore even he promised said no more funny thing around. Honesty, this is the 3rd time i found out d..last 2 times he really got gf outside. But after we got registered he did not,but still folling around online.

Vie, Dont midn i ask. or do you mind. Is there any 3rd party out there or ourely is your both personal issue. Sorry to say that, if there really a girl out there,even what book u bought to read or learn..i would say its too late for this. Coz i experience it and we patched back when he got 3rd party. he will not listen to u any single word or even if u cry. He will totally ignore u away. Think properly, when both good together there is only one reason which is Love..but when each otehr are gone bad..there always thousand of reasons & it countless bad reasons!!!!

Bear with me here as u r not alone. i cant tell how much pain in my heart now i think u have the same. Do you know whats the sound for a broken heart??? Remember girlspower..bad thing gone after the rain and there awalys a double rainbow soon u can see...

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Hi Vivie,

What I can say is that, have the confidence in you. Be strong. Guys are like that, they will NEVER grow up. Dont ask why, but it is the fact. You can never find out why like a mathematics formula. There is no solution like maths when it comes to a man's mind, or the womens'. haha..

To handle them you just have to use the correct "weapon" on them, but not all guys would accept one same weapon, it has to depend on how much you know him. You will know it. Just like how guys know how to handle their car when their car is sick. But my advice is only if you still love him and you want him back.

ROM is just a legal process of getting a marriage cert. Since it's not announced yet, it's not considered as a proper "wedding" yet, especially no banquet, no customary. This is what the eastern people think especially among the elder ones. Don't forget you guys are not even staying together.

Since he is taking his own sweet time and never bother to carry out a banquet soon, he is also just wasting your time. With those little acts and gesture he has been doing lately, it shows that he has somethings else in his mind already and he is taking his opportunity as a "single" man.

Don't bother of why after 8 great years you have spent together bla bla.. just be selfish and think of your own future.

"Will you be happy if you guys patch up things again? "

I can say some can, some not. but can you? and you should know the best.

I understand how tired you are.

im just busy body.. :P

hope you will find your true happiness soon.

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LAst time before ROm I found out that he have girl outside , last time I work in other state , even midnight we quarrel he will drive all the way 2-3 hours and waited for me outside my rented house . H will try to talk to me and aplogized . And now I am back to our hometown , my house and his are just 5 min away , he dont bother to come to my house and wait for me or want to make thigns better . I caught him many times he got other girls outsidee , last time he will cried and said sorry to me and he even knee down and say he will never do it again . But till now its the same , I sometimes think is it all guys are the same ? Should I just let him do it becasue its a nature ? As long as he loves me and care for me , I dont care , but things are not that simple and he dont even treat me right . If he really love me very mush I will think of closing my eyes and dont bother what he do outside . Iam human and have feeling and I have limits too . This kind of things keep on repeat , I dont know when he will stop this , even he said theres nothing , as he work late in clubs , he can pick up girl very easy . he lied to me I wont know also .

When we quarrel he will always ask me to go find a better guy since he do so many mistake .

Yes , even right now if I cry or what ever I do he dont bother already , men are very ego , he always act as he is right , when we try to talk he will always try to run , he will say ok i got to go now , he will alwasy stand and want to leave the room when I still not finish my conversation with him .

Right now he have the fame , when ever he walk into the club is like he is the taiko , everyone will greet him and respect him . This is what he wanted , I dont blame him for tht , everyone wish to have this also , people respect u and greet u , everyone know who u are . But still when you go home u have to put it away , you cant expect me to do tht becasue he wasnt like this before .Unless he was like this when I first know him then its different .

Right now he have alot people around him especailly the boss , he pray the BOSs like GOD ,that is why he feel that I am very troublesome and want to get rid of me , and he think that he can get younger girls , more prettier then me , but he never think taht those girls stick to him right now its becasue of his status in the club . Those girls will never understand him like I do , but for him he willthink that those girls understand him better then me , girls outside are always better then the wife becasue they dont stay togthater and do not have problems .

.I wanted a home a family and I think its time because we been togahter for so long and I think he isnt ready becasue he still enjoying the night life . How long can he work there ? When he grow older can his body still stay up late ? One day IF the club close down or what ever might happen , can he still be this proud ? He told me he work there are for us , becasue he can earn better there , but I thoguht it supposed to make us better instead of getting us apart .

He dnt need to work there actaully , the road its in his hand . He still have a proper job instead of working in the nightlife and complicatted job , his business failed once , but it doesnt mean that it will fail forever , and right now I am the one followng up his business and I am doing well , we just need to work things out togahter and I am sure it will do better then what he is doing right now . People there are mostly single parents , divorce and have complicated family background , those people are really influence him . But he like it . He just want fame , popularity thats what I can see now .

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Even though you found out he got other gals b4 ROM, you still wanna married to him? If it happened to me, i'll definitely call it off. Just my 2cents, not to offend you, i feel that he is having an affair with other gals now. Since you have no kids now, is it better to get a solution to solve this problem?

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Seriously citibank, If all the women in this world think like you & showing unconditional love, there will be more happy husbands out there and less divorces. Perhaps less conflicts and less war as well. With your explainations, I could imagine Bush showing unconditional love to Saddam already. :wub: Than the world will be at peace. Just joking, dont be too serious.

As for vievie, failing to communicate between both parties might be the final straw. If you cant communicate and cant even tolerate each other after 4 years. Where do you see yourself in another 4years time?

Since you have no kid now and only legal matter stand between you & freedom.

Why not end it now rather drag in another 2 years than realise it really doesnt work?

Chinese saying, short pain better than long suffering.

Cheers

If you use your eye a little bit to read everything I wrote, I was suggesting that it does not mean that unconditional should come from woman alone. It should come from every human being. These are ideals. And just because ideals are not totally possible, doesn't mean you shouldn't try. The majority of humans doesn't .. hence you notice that there are only a few rich ones, few great ones and the rest of the world remain as "common people " because they are not capable of being great and seeing beyond. When I am talking seriously, I'd expect some respect without poking fun at people's statement. If you are that childish to play a fool when a someone is talking to you, you obviously don't know how to respect hence what makes you think you should be advising anyone? Save yourself the trouble and first do something about yourself. Then come back to give people a positive light to life, rather than negativity. You seemed to be very cynical hence it cause me to wonder if you're married of have a partner. You must have been hurt or been betrayed in your own personal life causing you to be like this. If not, I don't know how someone would stay happy with such negativity.

citibank, im happily married. Thanks for your concerns.

My point of view are not negative but practical. I believe vievie deserve a better man.

Of coz everyone here are free to share their views, I dont expect everyone to share the same view as mind. Like I doesnt share the same view as yours.

My reply to your post are base on your story about a dog with your dad, which you use it as an example for everyone here.

If your mum and you cant change your dad's attitude over a period of years, while your dog did. What make you think you are qualify enough to give advise to someone else here? Where you are no better than your dog?

Ops. Sorry I shouldnt be making fun of your dog. because as you said "to call a human like a dog, is an insult to the dog."

Cheers

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ROM is just a legal process of getting a marriage cert. Since it's not announced yet, it's not considered as a proper "wedding" yet, especially no banquet, no customary. This is what the eastern people think especially among the elder ones. Don't forget you guys are not even staying together.

My apologies for being rude, but we don't live in a dream world. In the real world, the traditional ceremony does not matter anymore, what matters is the ROM. If you go through ROM and don't have a legal divorcee, you cannot remarry as it would be illegal and you can go to jail. We have a young woman who made it to the front page of Star a few years ago, cos she thought she was already divorceed but the final papers were not done yet, and her former husband made a complaint.

If your attempts to reconcile fails, get Legal help, the Bar Council offers free legal advice subject to T&C.

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Ok guys , I talked to him just now , I do not know why I have this guts to go to him today , cuz I cannot tahan seeinng myself crying everyday and every minute . If youask me to act in a sad movie I think I will get the award , I can cry in seconds and anywhere and anytime .

I do not know why I drove directly to his work place with out realizing and I supposed to go there other way to my working place . When I am on my way to his work place I was shivering , so I walked in and he was busy doing something and I talk to him nicely can we talk . He said he is busy as usual he want to avoid it , and he talked it end up ugly like one of u guys mentioned , he throw things and raising up his voice and he dont want to talk about it and ask me to leave . I asked him do you still love me , he said NO . I dont know why I tak boleh tahan then I cried and then hug him , cry and cry and cry non stop until I cant even talk . After when I stop crying then I talk to him nicely what I want and what we should we if you want to continue this relationship . And this time when I ask him do you love me , he said yes , no matter what happened to us , even if we are getting a divorce he will always love me . So guys which should I believe in ? The earlier one when we had argument , he a said NO , dont love me or now YES he still love me .

He did cried also when I cry , he still doesnt want to get back togather as he said he cant give what I want , like a luxury wedding , travel and some other things that he promised . He asked me to move on and get a better guy . I tell him that if we are getting back and we must change and do something about it , it will not be the same as the previous anymore . He have to change and to same goes to me .

He said he need some to think about it , so after we talked , then he ask me to go back firsthe will let me know , so after the talk n the crying and everything I went to toilet to put back my make up , then I just leave without saying anything , I dnt think he even know tht I left . I neve say bye to him or talk to him either . Do you think this is the right way ? I wounldnt want to push him and make the decision right away.

So now , whats next ? Should I wait for him to call me back or should I just call him ? When is the best time to ask him ?

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Seriously citibank, If all the women in this world think like you & showing unconditional love, there will be more happy husbands out there and less divorces. Perhaps less conflicts and less war as well. With your explainations, I could imagine Bush showing unconditional love to Saddam already. :wub: Than the world will be at peace. Just joking, dont be too serious.

As for vievie, failing to communicate between both parties might be the final straw. If you cant communicate and cant even tolerate each other after 4 years. Where do you see yourself in another 4years time?

Since you have no kid now and only legal matter stand between you & freedom.

Why not end it now rather drag in another 2 years than realise it really doesnt work?

Chinese saying, short pain better than long suffering.

Cheers

If you use your eye a little bit to read everything I wrote, I was suggesting that it does not mean that unconditional should come from woman alone. It should come from every human being. These are ideals. And just because ideals are not totally possible, doesn't mean you shouldn't try. The majority of humans doesn't .. hence you notice that there are only a few rich ones, few great ones and the rest of the world remain as "common people " because they are not capable of being great and seeing beyond. When I am talking seriously, I'd expect some respect without poking fun at people's statement. If you are that childish to play a fool when a someone is talking to you, you obviously don't know how to respect hence what makes you think you should be advising anyone? Save yourself the trouble and first do something about yourself. Then come back to give people a positive light to life, rather than negativity. You seemed to be very cynical hence it cause me to wonder if you're married of have a partner. You must have been hurt or been betrayed in your own personal life causing you to be like this. If not, I don't know how someone would stay happy with such negativity.

citibank, im happily married. Thanks for your concerns.

My point of view are not negative but practical. I believe vievie deserve a better man.

Of coz everyone here are free to share their views, I dont expect everyone to share the same view as mind. Like I doesnt share the same view as yours.

My reply to your post are base on your story about a dog with your dad, which you use it as an example for everyone here.

If your mum and you cant change your dad's attitude over a period of years, while your dog did. What make you think you are qualify enough to give advise to someone else here? Where you are no better than your dog?

Ops. Sorry I shouldnt be making fun of your dog. because as you said "to call a human like a dog, is an insult to the dog."

Cheers

i think u just cant get the theory that citibank trying to explain... it's not about what a dog can do but we, human cant do... it's just an example to explain on unconditional love...

vivie, i think u should first know what u want... u still want to be with this man? or it's just up to his decision? after all, it's your life! i think u should make your own decision at the first place...

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Bad news , today it's really not my day been crying from day till night . My grandma just passes away , I called my hb and he come meet me at my working place, he do nothing n talk nothing to me . Just see me crying n crying , after that we go for dinner , when I sat in his car I saw an eyelashes , I pretand that I don't see it . I am so pissed of . I am so sad yet I see things that I don't want to , we had dinner togahter but no talking . He told me he is going outstation tomorrow and I wanted to follow him ,but he keep on saying no and he even tell me that no one is going with him .he is alone , so I just tell him stupid reason thati need to go there no matter what to buy something , so he got no choice andge said that he will text me tonight .so I suspect that he is going with someone n need to call it off with that person . I did try to talk to him .I askedhi who is he mixing with recently and he said why should I bother , I told him that I am his wife I have the right to know . So if tomorrow I am going with him it's going to b a ffew hoours trip what should I do in the car ,? Definately he will not talk to me , what topic should we touch on so that won't make it worst ???

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Vievie,

I don't know .. but I just feel that divorce is the best for both of you and to release yourself from the 'fake' dream which you are hoping that he will change and back to the same person as you knew before.

Don't let yourself suffer in this not-worth waiting relationship, while it is still early (no child) for you to see his true color, don't use any other reasons to get yourself back to him again.

Obviously he is all alright all these while and you were in the sad mode, suffering and yet he is enjoying out there, so which one do you choose? be a happy woman? or still be the sad woman?

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Bad news , today it's really not my day been crying from day till night . My grandma just passes away , I called my hb and he come meet me at my working place, he do nothing n talk nothing to me . Just see me crying n crying , after that we go for dinner , when I sat in his car I saw an eyelashes , I pretand that I don't see it . I am so pissed of . I am so sad yet I see things that I don't want to , we had dinner togahter but no talking . He told me he is going outstation tomorrow and I wanted to follow him ,but he keep on saying no and he even tell me that no one is going with him .he is alone , so I just tell him stupid reason thati need to go there no matter what to buy something , so he got no choice andge said that he will text me tonight .so I suspect that he is going with someone n need to call it off with that person . I did try to talk to him .I askedhi who is he mixing with recently and he said why should I bother , I told him that I am his wife I have the right to know . So if tomorrow I am going with him it's going to b a ffew hoours trip what should I do in the car ,? Definately he will not talk to me , what topic should we touch on so that won't make it worst ???

i dun understand, your grandma just passed away, aint u suppose to at the funeral? why u follow ur hb to outstation? and what's the outcome u want for following him to outstation? what's ur intention? still the same question, what u want for your life?

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Vievie,

I think no point dragging a dying relationship that without love. I think deep down in your heart you know he's having affair, yet u still want to live with him for long? I think if a marriage lost the commitment, might as well end it before everyone hurts. Now let's say he gets back to you, and stop the affair, what's next? Have you ever planned to live together with him under one roof?

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I think I really sound stupid now , I do not know why I am doing all this stupid things for him and yet he dont appreciate it . I dont know I why I do this , I really dont understand my self . Like what one of you said , never give when you have not try . So I am trying my best to save this marriage and yet , still waiting for his reply . I think maybe this is the time of me to think all over again . Maybe before he tell me I will tell him . If I have made up my mind . Its true that I am sad here and he is enjoying out there > what ever he have now its just temporary , girls and friends around him .

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ROM is just a legal process of getting a marriage cert. Since it's not announced yet, it's not considered as a proper "wedding" yet, especially no banquet, no customary. This is what the eastern people think especially among the elder ones. Don't forget you guys are not even staying together.

My apologies for being rude, but we don't live in a dream world. In the real world, the traditional ceremony does not matter anymore, what matters is the ROM. If you go through ROM and don't have a legal divorcee, you cannot remarry as it would be illegal and you can go to jail. We have a young woman who made it to the front page of Star a few years ago, cos she thought she was already divorceed but the final papers were not done yet, and her former husband made a complaint.

If your attempts to reconcile fails, get Legal help, the Bar Council offers free legal advice subject to T&C.

No problem CFA, i understand what you mean :)

what I meant is that, signing the papers, you are married legally, but nobody knows you have signed that except maybe some close frens? and yes go and sign those papers again if you are not happy, and wanted to legally divorce, not many will know that too. But the huge difference is just that the payment is much more expensive when you go for a divorce. hehe

but if you have gone through a customary, all the relative knows that you are married, and when you divorce, they all will know too. it's like an announcement.

and if we come and think of it, who says that one must get married in order to commit to each other? it's all about the 2 persons, if they are really that "modern".

because from the first place, it is the tradition that one must get "married" to have children, to be a recognized and confirmed as a "couple".

So what I'm trying to say is that, Vivie, no matter how sad or how depressed you are now, don't worry, because this is just part of your are life that you have going through. Once you have this mindset, you will be able to handle everything in your life. because life is just full of ups and downs. We cant tell what will happen in the future, just do your best. live the best, be happy. don't look back.

Why we study history in our school? it's just a way to teach us not to repeat the stupid things we have done before.

Always remember to stand yourself at the right position. well that's my own quote, so if it's acceptable for you, you may consider to use it. :)

it's good that you are telling your feelings and relieving yourself. yes dont keep it to yourself, health is most important for you now.

Take care Vivie, you can do it! HUGSSS!

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I think I really sound stupid now , I do not know why I am doing all this stupid things for him and yet he dont appreciate it . I dont know I why I do this , I really dont understand my self . Like what one of you said , never give when you have not try . So I am trying my best to save this marriage and yet , still waiting for his reply . I think maybe this is the time of me to think all over again . Maybe before he tell me I will tell him . If I have made up my mind . Its true that I am sad here and he is enjoying out there > what ever he have now its just temporary , girls and friends around him .

Vivie, is it true that whatever your fans here writing to you is helping u or not, but i think you cant absorb anything now because you love him so much and you cant stop loving him. is it true?

But vivie, love yourself first before you start to love someone else ok? else no one will love you as much as you love yourself ya...

take a deep deep deep breath!! stay focus!!

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Yes , really everyone of you all here really help me alot . I been reading thru and trying to absorb everything in . During this time when I am alone , I have learn alot mostly are from you guys .

I have actaully talked to his mom about it , she dont even know what happen to us . Can the mother actually interfere in our relationship ? What are the things that a mom should tell the son if this happen ?

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Vievie,

Don't you feel tired if you are the only one who wants to save the marriage but not him? Have you see any afford that he has put in to save the marriage? For me I feel that the afford should be from both parties and not just either 1 as that's the indication another party has no interest to continue the 'contract' and want to have an end there.

If he is still thinking of saving the marriage, he should has response to you but in fact he still can be 'happy' (maybe) without seeing you, call you, texting you or whatever, if that's the case do you still want him and want the 'contract' to be valid? Why not put it a fullstop, end it and release yourself? gesss I know my advises here are to encourage you to give up this marriage, 'to whom it may concern' I'm happy married and baby on its way. I just don't want to see Vievie continues suffering in this relationship. Release yourself, give yourself a clear blue sky.

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