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KM2010

Would you go Registration of Marriage with him?

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Consider you are 20 year old good looking and smart girl. You are about to go university very soon. But your boyfriend (who in love with you for 5-6 years, but dropped out from school, poor, short and NOT a good looking guy. However, he is a kind, helpful, and a willing/ready to sacrfy) feel worry if you know have engage with other guys in university.

So, he has asked you to go to registration of marriage (i.e., officially/legally marry him) once you turn to 21 year old. Just to make the relationship confirm and commit.

What you would you do?

1. Yes: Because we love each other, and I am going to marry him anyway sooner or later.

2. No: Because I should focus in my study ad pursue for a good life.

3. Why I have a boyfriend like him in the first place?

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imo 21 is a very young age to get married, especially if you are still pursuing your degree or education.

Secondly, the fact that 'this person' is judging the bf as drop-out, poor, short & not good looking & doubting this decision makes me want to ask her, do you love this guy in the first place? If you dont, there is no point in pursuing the relationship at all. Having a ROM is very very far indeed.

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Someone said the topic I raised here really misleading because I have included "pre-judegement" information. (The fact is, these are Facts).

I wonder will the answer the same, if the question as Simple as "I am 21 year old, Should I go registration of Marriage with my boyfriend before I go to Study In University"?

1. Yes

2. No

Please comments..

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Someone said the topic I raised here really misleading because I have included "pre-judegement" information. (The fact is, these are Facts).

I wonder will the answer the same, if the question as Simple as "I am 21 year old, Should I go registration of Marriage with my boyfriend before I go to Study In University"?

1. Yes

2. No

Please comments..

well the question that u raised contains your own pre-judgement. If you are the 21yo girl in the situation, i seriously hope u are not looking for the poll to help u decide. This matter is subjective, it all depends on you and your feelings for the guy. If you've come in describing your situation with all the 'factors', for me it seems like u've already decided your bf is not good enuf for '20 year old good looking and smart girl'

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Not because of love or not for me my principal is dont simply register urself with someone if u have doubt with he/she.... & I always not agree to ROM 1st then only decide when to marry...

I heard many many story like this some of them are because of that piece of ROM cert then like no choice & need to follow by the wedding ceremony, to "officially" announce to friends & relatives that they are married but in fact the couple already have certain problems/issue after years of ROM. & not to scare u I have friend in this kind of situation divorce within 2 years after married.

Another crucial part is the "Trust" need to built in between couple if he has no confidence on u ROM is not the right way to secure the confidence it just made this worse...

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20 years old is still too early to commit in a relationship. Especially if you will be pursuing your studies at a higher level. I am not being biased or prejudice by saying this. When one enters into another walk in his/her life, their circle of friends will change and be different. Thus, u might compare ur current friends to ur bf or ur bf might have low self-esteem when u both go out together with ur uni friends. (i hope u get my point as i am not good in expressing in words) :)

i am not sure how deeply in love both of you are... i have seen many of my friends who broke up when either of them enter into university. Going to ROM doesn't guarantee a steady relationship. Even married couples will end up divorcing if they are not compatible. If your bf really loves u and have confidence in this relationship, he will wait for u.

and you will of course be sincere and truthful to him.

putting ur signature on the blue piece of paper doesn't guarantee anything if both parties are not FULLY committed to each other.

Thus my answer to your question is NO.

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hmm... to me 20 is too early to ROM... dun forget, ROM is legally announce u 2 husband and wife....

i think there's nothing about if u luv him then nd to tie up together... is u ready for a marriage?

Me and my husband was in a relationships for 6+ years then only get into marraige... and he was asking me for marry him in the 4th year... but i think we're still not ready for it, tat's y we did not go for it until last year...

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20 years old is still too early to commit in a relationship. Especially if you will be pursuing your studies at a higher level. I am not being biased or prejudice by saying this. When one enters into another walk in his/her life, their circle of friends will change and be different. Thus, u might compare ur current friends to ur bf or ur bf might have low self-esteem when u both go out together with ur uni friends. (i hope u get my point as i am not good in expressing in words) :)

i am not sure how deeply in love both of you are... i have seen many of my friends who broke up when either of them enter into university. Going to ROM doesn't guarantee a steady relationship. Even married couples will end up divorcing if they are not compatible. If your bf really loves u and have confidence in this relationship, he will wait for u.

and you will of course be sincere and truthful to him.

putting ur signature on the blue piece of paper doesn't guarantee anything if both parties are not FULLY committed to each other.

Thus my answer to your question is NO.

i agree with u.

i only treat the statement as : " i m 20 years old, in love with my bf for 5-6 years, should i ROM before enter uni to make my relationship "stable"?"

i would say NO. ROM should not be an insurance paper to "guarantee u wont engage another guy in uni".

this should not be the reason for ROM. and this also should not be a tool to "tie someone up".

i have seen a lot of people broke up because their view, perspective, lifestyle had gone so different that in the end they found that both have different targets and ambitions for life and future and cannot commit together. when both dont have the same goal, there will be lots of problems. in this case, i dont think it is only about sincere and confidence. it is small matters like topics, views on issues ..things like that play the role.

i got a friend also broke up with her bf after she enter uni. the reason is simple. her bf can't speak english, cannot get along with her unimates, colleagues well. later on, they dont even have topics to talk about.

u can wait, but u dont have to ROM earlier to "confirm the waiting"

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I say NO. not bcos of ur bf situation..i still believe u r too young to get marry.

u r too young to know what u want in ur life.

ur bf worry tat u might fall for other guy , so ask u to ROM is sooooo immature! i mean if later u really ended up falling for other guy,

ur bf has to let u go also if your heart is no longer with him. he cant lock u up as a prisoner with d "paper".

i do agree with wsyrinrin, never register with him if u still have doubt.

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Okie .. this is what I read and understand from this thread and the post.

1. You have doubt as you are not sure whether to ROM now with him is the right choice, why? because

2. You are about to enter university and you know you will have chances to find better man than him for yourself, and indirectly you don't want to commit yourself to him now but you are just not sure if you let go this 'fish' will you get a better one?

3. 20 yrs old is way too old for a marriage, for him, he just want to use that piece of legal paper to 'confirm' you but does it a life time guarantee? nope! I knew a couple who was in the same situation and they divorce 2 yrs later as the guy thought using the legal paper can 'tied' her up but too bad the relationship just doesn't work that way.

Actually I'm quite annoy with your 'opening' - good looking and smart girl, but he is dropped out from school, poor, short and NOT a good looking guy and you are so specifically emphasize the NOT in capital letter.

Well .. since you are a good looking and smart girl why you will end up with someone that is not to your choice? and still with him for more than 5 yrs!? that's my first question. Second question, as you have said, it clearly indicated that you might about his background, his looking and I'm not sure you may feel embarrass to go out with him or to introduce to people that he is your boyfriend? not sure.

So as a person like you, good looking and smart girl .. so pretty sure you will be very popular when you go to university, if you have already ROM will you care about your 'married' status and stopping yourself from knowing other guys!?

For him, of course he wants to use the legal paper to tie you up, what he says, want to confirm and commit the relationship .. ahhh .. that's mean the relationship is still not 'confirmed' or 'steady' after so many yr!? which mean you cannot give him confidence about you and your doing at outside.

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20 yrs old is too young to be thinking of getting married in this day and age. More so since you will be entering university to further your studies. If he loves you so much and you have been together for 5 years, there should be a level of trust between you and him and it would not seem right to go through the ROM just to 'confirm' the relationship and tie you down.

Whether or not you have the ROM, if both are committed to each other, the relationship will last. You don't need a ROM to commit to each other. Plus, if he has 'trusts' issues with you, all the more you both should not go through the ROM. Going through ROM does not guarantee that you or him will stay committed - meaning, either of you can still end up with someone else if either of you are not committed to the relationship or find yourselves falling out of love due to reasons which are out of your control.

So the important thing is to strengthen your relationship with each other if this is what both of you want. If you are doubting whether to go to ROM, then all the more you should not go ahead with it. Only go through ROM if both of you are happy and confident about it because once you have gone through ROM, you are both legally married and if you both decide to part ways, you will need to go through the divorce process which can be lengthy, cumbersome, time-consuming and costs money.

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21 years old is too early for me to ROM (either mentally or physically)

Just like others saying that signed a paper (ROM) is legally married but can not guarantee the relationship.

That y no point for u to ROM b4 enter uni.

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The issue here is not too much about whether the man in question is por, short or not good looking or whether the girl is smart, rich and beautiful.

The issue is that the both of you have your entire life infront of you. As the both of you grow older, your wants and needs will be different and you do not want the burden of having to go through a legal divorce later on. Both of you should explore the world, after all, you are only young once. If the two of u are in love, you will be together, eventually.

There is also the other isssue of how the man is going to earn a living to support the family. I am not talking about education ability, I know of ppl who don't even finish SPM and earn more than a PhD Holder, but money is important. The man should also focus on building his career.

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I will say No. There are too many guys who willing to sacrifice for girls out there so that is not really the point for you to say yes.

I think the main concern is you are too young for marriage and you haven't even seen the world yet. take you sweet time =)

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I have 2-3 couple frens around which exactly same case as yours...

gals pretty and smart... entering uni while boys with lower edu background... not reli good looking....

but end up they manage to tie knot and live happily now despite nobody wish good luck on such relationship by the time they are entering different pace of life ie 'pretty and smart gal enter uni while ordinary boy waiting outside'....

i would say yes if u really really confident and treasure ur relationship with him....

but in ur case..... i would say BIG NO since there's so many doubt pre-created by ur own...

no offended but let think mature as marriage is not a game which can simply enter and quit....

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Consider you are 20 year old good looking and smart girl. You are about to go university very soon. But your boyfriend (who in love with you for 5-6 years, but dropped out from school, poor, short and NOT a good looking guy. However, he is a kind, helpful, and a willing/ready to sacrfy) feel worry if you know have engage with other guys in university.

So, he has asked you to go to registration of marriage (i.e., officially/legally marry him) once you turn to 21 year old. Just to make the relationship confirm and commit.

What you would you do?

1. Yes: Because we love each other, and I am going to marry him anyway sooner or later.

2. No: Because I should focus in my study ad pursue for a good life.

3. Why I have a boyfriend like him in the first place?

I would choose option 2. No.

But its not because i should focus in my study and pursue a good life.

No is because this piece of ROM cert does not guarantee much.

Registering just to make the relationship confirm and commit is unwise if you ask me.

You can be married and have mistress outside. Or you can be not married and yet is very loyal to your partner.

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