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libra

Need Advice..

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I'm married with a 6 mth old. The thing is that my husband have been asking for a divorce. It came to the extend that he is verbally insulting me using foul language and bad mouthing me to his family. Im now staying with my parents. The thing that worries me the most is my son. My son have been taken care by my mother since he was born. And this was agreed by me and my husband earlier. Few days ago, he msged me saying tht he wants to bring my son back to his hse without me. When i did mention that i will follow he denied me. How can I allow tht to happen as my son is very attached to me. I told my parents about it and they intervene. But he is disatisfied, keep on mentioning that he is the father. He even scare me by saying that 'do you think the judge will give the baby to you with you as this kind of person...im the father..he is my flesh n blood..he have my surname..the judge will give it to me'..that's wat he said..

The thing is that he have not been a good husband and dad. He did not take care of our welfare. Not even once did he bring our baby for medical checkup..even when my baby is having a fever..when i told him about it..he just ignore..never even ask how is baby doing now...

Im not saying that I will deny him as he is also the father of my child. But it really worries me if i allow him to bring my child back to his hse as I know from his character that he will not return my child to me..Please advise me on how i can deal with this.

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Its sad to hear such news from you. Not sure what prompted him to talk this way and asked for a divorce.

My best advice you is to check with a lawyer. They are the right person to provide you consultation especially on child welfare.

Also, do you have a steady job? I think it will look better on the judge if you have a steady job to prove that you have proper income to bring up your baby. Good thing that you have your parents to support you now.

Hope everything will be fine for you.

Take care ya = )

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were u seeing signs of divorce coming up earlier? You did not mention what caused the sudden talk of divorce.

As for your baby custody, i think u stand a fairly good chance of keeping him. Since your mother has been taking care of him, and u have been staying with your family, it is proof enough that you are in good hands and capable to take care of your baby. Also, you need to get a steady job to prove financially also you are capable to support the baby. As for your husband, it wont be difficult proving that he did not care for you and your baby till now.

Hope everything goes alright for you.

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You obviously have more than you can handle and you need to "Seek Help" immediately.

Women's Aid Organisation is one alternative. From there, WAO should guide you on what u need to do next.

http://www.wao.org.my/aboutus.htm

You should also seek Legal Help, if WAO is not already providing it. The Bar Council provided Legal Aid Centres to deserving people, I am sure you will qualify.

http://www.malaysianbar.org.my/legal_aid_centres.html

Whatever you do, do not give your son to your husband. I would advice you to immediately take your son to the WAO Shelter. If your Husband makes a scene, make a police report. Btw, who has the birth cert, quickly get it if its not with you.

Good luck.

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I'm actually working and im not sure whether i'm qualify for the legal aid. He has been asking many times to have a look on the birth cert.For safety Ive actually pass it to my parents for safekeeping. I also do know that i cant make a police report or restriction order at this point of time. My worries for now is that how and what excuses can i give to prevent him from taking my baby.

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Agree with qarezma,

what's the reason that he wanna file a divorce with u? You just keep mentioning abt yr hb is trying to steal yr child away. Your story is kinda bizzare. No begging, only mid of the story.

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I'm actually working and im not sure whether i'm qualify for the legal aid. He has been asking many times to have a look on the birth cert.For safety Ive actually pass it to my parents for safekeeping. I also do know that i cant make a police report or restriction order at this point of time. My worries for now is that how and what excuses can i give to prevent him from taking my baby.

If my info is correct, if husband is the one asking for divorce, he will hv to give you monthly allowance for u and baby (i forgot the term). Good that u have the birth cert with out. Excuses? Just tell abt the lack of attention he gave on u and baby when u needed it (sick, doc's visit, etc). Also, assuming your hubby did not help out in daily baby chores, that is also a good point to tell how incapable he is to tk care of him.

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I'm actually working and im not sure whether i'm qualify for the legal aid.

No harm in calling them up to ask. I believe that its for ppl who earn below a certain income.

If my info is correct, if husband is the one asking for divorce, he will hv to give you monthly allowance for u and baby (i forgot the term).

Its called alimony

He has been asking many times to have a look on the birth cert. For safety Ive actually pass it to my parents for safekeeping. I also do know that i cant make a police report or restriction order at this point of time. My worries for now is that how and what excuses can i give to prevent him from taking my baby.

Good that Birth Cert is with you cos its a very important document.

Regarding giving him the Baby, yu should tell him that you are worried that since the Baby is not close with him and when he cry, your HB won't be able to handle him and may end up abusing him.

The Police Report that I was talking about is if he abuses you or makes a scene in your house. Most of the time, the Law is more sympthetic to the Mother unless of special circumstances.

Is your marriage beyond salvage. If it is please consult a lawyer on your next move.

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The moment he starts threatening to take away the baby from you, you should make a report already. In your report, you should specifically mention that you are filing this report because you are "takut apa-apa akan terjadi pada saya dan anak saya" (taught to a close friend of mine by a police officer)

You may think that I am over the top, but it's always, ALWAYS good to have evidence, and always good to think one step ahead from the opposing party. For instance, if you know he is coming home to start a fight/wanting to take the baby away from you, use your handphone and quietly set it in on Voice Recorder mode without him seeing it. I have a dinosaur age phone that can do this, nowadays everyone has such canggih Berries and Iphones and what not that can surely have the same, if not better function.

When you have things like this as proof, the police will take you more seriously.

Also, the court is usually more likely to give custody to the mother, especially so if you are breastfeeding; but in your case I think it's good enough that your parents are babysitting your child, and that you have a job. He is saying things like "my baby carries my name" just to scare you and to actually convince himself that custody will go to him, when I think he knows you have the stronger case.

It's always better to settle things amicably, but if push comes to shove, you must do all you can to protect yourself and your baby.

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In Malaysia Law it don't have such benefit and coverage for women..

I'm actually working and im not sure whether i'm qualify for the legal aid. He has been asking many times to have a look on the birth cert.For safety Ive actually pass it to my parents for safekeeping. I also do know that i cant make a police report or restriction order at this point of time. My worries for now is that how and what excuses can i give to prevent him from taking my baby.

If my info is correct, if husband is the one asking for divorce, he will hv to give you monthly allowance for u and baby (i forgot the term). Good that u have the birth cert with out. Excuses? Just tell abt the lack of attention he gave on u and baby when u needed it (sick, doc's visit, etc). Also, assuming your hubby did not help out in daily baby chores, that is also a good point to tell how incapable he is to tk care of him.

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what does he mean by this:

'do you think the judge will give the baby to you with you as this kind of person...

what "kind" of person are you?

It's very difficult to say as we do not know the reason why your husband is asking for a divorce.

If you did something wrong, your chances of keeping your son may depend on what you did and what proof your husband has against you.

If you did nothing wrong, then why worry? Just seek legal advice. Your chances to keep your son is fine provided you are financially and mentally fit to bring him up yourself.

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