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yvonne118

My baby behave strange after my business trip

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I'm very confuse of my boy's behaviour lately. Although I have being told by my friend before I went for 2 weeks business trip that my baby will change his behaviour after I back. I thought he will be more cranky only. While I'm not around, he is taken care by my hubby and parents in law. They said he looks very cheerful, just the first day when I gone, he cried a bit that's all. He behave normal, energetic, playing non stop and walk up and down. Just the first day he refuse to drink milk, later on he was fine.

During my absence, my hubby show him my video, he keep saying ma ma..

When first day I arrive home, he looks a bit like not recognise me, but after I carry him, he smile. He smile the next 2 days happily regardless when, where and what he is doing. He looks totally fine and happy all day long. When come to night time, he wake up more often. First 2 nights, he woke up every half to one hour cry angrily. His cry is different from last time, I can feel he is angry. Last night was 4th nights, he cried 2 times at night. He knocked his own head to the floor. He kept wanting to go down from the bed, I thought he want to do something or go somewhere.. but he knocked his head to the floor! He refuse to see me, he looks high on the ceiling. I completely helpless, I cried with him, I felt so sad to see him like this.. I should have reject the trip. I kept telling him sorry, I will not leave him alone anymore, I will bring him along anywhere I go. He is more clingy than before, he even follow me to toilet. In the past, he was very independent, can play alone, carry by strangers and all.. now totally opposite. At night he only want me, although he angry of me, when my hubby tried to carry him, he push away my hubby and come to me. When he awake and cry, he sometimes beat me, sometimes push me away. When my hubby try to comfort him he comes back to me again.. and continue cry and beat me.

Anyone has experience of it? I'm very worried of him, I hope he will get back to normal soon. It's painful to see him hurt himself.

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*hugs* dont worry so much, he is perhaps just being obsessive seeing u after so long.

I think u hv to be patient, and go back to 'your' routine with him, it will help him to go back to being 'himself' again.

See how important is a mother :)

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hmm, I think he missed you and he's clingy coz he's worried that you will leave him again. In one of the parenting TV series, there were a couple of tips on how to deal with clingy children.

1. When you need to leave him for a short period of time to do your stuff, e.g. go toilet, first get him to start playing with his toys. To reassure him that you will be back, leave an item which is always with you, with him, e.g. your handphone. And tell him that you need him to look after your phone for a while while you have to go somewhere, and when you come back, you want him to give your phone back to you. Then you leave him, starting with a short timeframe, e.g. a few minutes, and over time, extend to a longer timeframe.

2. Before you leave him for a long period of time, e.g. go to work, hug him, and continue hugging him until he is the one pushing you away. They will then be more acceptable for you to go.

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Thanks Garezma, he behave normal in day, but not at night.. i think after he sleep is when he express himself which really come from his heart.. I once heard my friend said, she always observe her child sleeping pattern since born till now 14 years old. Whatever they do/feel in day will reveal after they sleep. I believe this is true after i see my son..

Ally,

Thanks for the tips.. but initially he was not clingy at all.. me and my husband working together to change him back to normal.. can see he slowly change.. for eg, distract him with toys when I am upstair doing something.. but what worried me more is the night time.. it's like psychology thing.. i hope he will be fine from his inner heart.. i try my best to comfort him that i will not leave him to business trip anymore

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i went to china for 3 weeks... i skyped with my son and hubby every nite... talked to them... it helped a lot... and when i am back, my son is ok... everything is normal... he is a bit clingy but its ok for me...

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sumsum, 1 year and 4 mths (shown below my msg)

babysiew, I did not have chance to do that.. because of different time zone. When I work he awake and at nanny's house.. when I have time after work he sleep.

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I'm very confuse of my boy's behaviour lately. Although I have being told by my friend before I went for 2 weeks business trip that my baby will change his behaviour after I back. I thought he will be more cranky only. While I'm not around, he is taken care by my hubby and parents in law. They said he looks very cheerful, just the first day when I gone, he cried a bit that's all. He behave normal, energetic, playing non stop and walk up and down. Just the first day he refuse to drink milk, later on he was fine.

During my absence, my hubby show him my video, he keep saying ma ma..

When first day I arrive home, he looks a bit like not recognise me, but after I carry him, he smile. He smile the next 2 days happily regardless when, where and what he is doing. He looks totally fine and happy all day long. When come to night time, he wake up more often. First 2 nights, he woke up every half to one hour cry angrily. His cry is different from last time, I can feel he is angry. Last night was 4th nights, he cried 2 times at night. He knocked his own head to the floor. He kept wanting to go down from the bed, I thought he want to do something or go somewhere.. but he knocked his head to the floor! He refuse to see me, he looks high on the ceiling. I completely helpless, I cried with him, I felt so sad to see him like this.. I should have reject the trip. I kept telling him sorry, I will not leave him alone anymore, I will bring him along anywhere I go. He is more clingy than before, he even follow me to toilet. In the past, he was very independent, can play alone, carry by strangers and all.. now totally opposite. At night he only want me, although he angry of me, when my hubby tried to carry him, he push away my hubby and come to me. When he awake and cry, he sometimes beat me, sometimes push me away. When my hubby try to comfort him he comes back to me again.. and continue cry and beat me.

Anyone has experience of it? I'm very worried of him, I hope he will get back to normal soon. It's painful to see him hurt himself.

it's normal. he was trying to tell u how much he misses u during ur absence and as he can't really express himself through words, he uses actions. n for young children, all the feelings and nightmares will b manifested when they sleep.

it will gradually lessen over time, n yes, we as mummy do feel guilty for leaving them alone, but sometimes, it can't be helped. perhaps we can cut short the trip whenever possible. a little bit of traveling will make ur kid more independent n get used to it.

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My husband ask me to go a 10 days vacation with him, leave the baby to my MIL. My MIL is ok with it in fact they are happy and ask me to leave for them longer like until CNY ( we are staying in KL and they stay in Miri, will sent baby back before we go vacation). but I am in dilemma, Teresa is with me 24/7 since she born, I never left her for more than 2 hrs until now. even when i am out she is still asleep. I am not sure if I suddenly left her with people she not familiar with will effect her mental? but I do need a break.. HB not agree to bring her along coz China now is in winter time, he doesn't want to take risk that baby will get sick due to the weather over there. Don know what to do..

Should I go or shouldn't?

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csufong,

It's a hard decision right? I am sorry I don't have any constructive advice to give but I have to confess, I gave up a few overseas trips because of the same reason :oops:. Although ZT is not with me 24x7 (she's at nanny when I go to work), I still cannot stand being apart from her cos she's never been away from me at night before. I KNOW I will not enjoy myself cos I will be worried about her, so I chose not to go. In a way, it's not very healthy cos we do need a break now & then but I really can't make myself to do it.

Talk to your hubby again about bringing her along (IF you want to la). After all, she is already 1 year + & not a baby anymore. I finally went for trip recently & brought ZT along. No regrets, it's more tiring & ma fan but give me another chance, I will do it all over again. I even regretted not doing it earlier (you know when they're still fully on breastmilk & we don't have to worry about what solids they need to eat, heheheh).

IF you want to leave her with your MIL, be prepared that she will definitely cry (especially at night) but after a few nights, she will be ok. This happened to my niece when my bro & wife went holiday. My mom told me she cried looking for her mom & after my mom pujuk her, she goes to sleep. After 2 nights, she's ok already.

Good luck!

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lols... i think am a bad mama then... I DID leave my gal with my parent when she is around 2 mth old. I went to langkawi for a holiday. Have booked the package before i know am preggy.

then when she is around 1.5 years old leave her again for almost 2 weeks... :P

overall she is ok though. fuss only the 1st night thereafter she is fine..

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arg.. so difficult to make decision, I would like to have a break, but deep in my heart, I feel guilty to leave my gal to people she not use to. after reading janicelly advice, I decide not to go and told my hb I don want to go. but after seeing mhyap1 story, I am in dilemma again... arg..

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I'm same with janicelly. :smile: ever since my baby girl is born, i have never left her with anyone at night (except the few 1.5 nights when she's admitted for jaundice treatment in hospital a week after she's born). Sometimes I even feel the guilt if i leave her with bbsitter while me actually is on leave. But I have told myself that as long as she's supposed to be with bbsitter then it's fine. But when it's time for her to come home, then she should be home with us. :smile:

My friends actually offered to babysit my daughter so that my hubby and I can go out to pak toh for a day like watching movie or etc, but it never happens because i simply cannot trust anyone, and i know i'll be worrying sick and i'll keep thinking about her crying face, and like janicelly said, i will not be able to enjoy myself.

But I'm glad that my hubby feels the same. WHen I tested him by suggesting to allow my daughter to spend a few nights with bbsitter while we go for a short trip, he couldn't agree to do that as well as he also thinks that she has been so used to sleeping with us everynight. Some of my friends think that we are a bit "too much" or this is the "first kid syndrome" but i think as long as my hubby and I are thinking the same then there is no problem then. We can always take leave to pak toh or pak toh during lunch :smile:

And I also share the same thinking like janicelly, I told my hubby that if we want to go outstation, then we all go together. Yes, it's troublesome and there's A LOT OF things to pack but I truly enjoy the trips (though very tiring lo)... She was being carried almost all the time in most of the trips. I have brought my bbgirl to cameron highlands when she's 5 months old, and to KL (me from PG) when she's 8 mths old. :smile:. End up coming back with tonnes of pictures. :smile:

Why not you bring your daughter along to China? My friend just brought his 18 mths old girl to Korea (it's Winter there now right?) for a holiday trip. Din hear him complain anything... :smile:

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