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I just wonder why do the brides and her chi muis would like to play all these games on her groom and friends? Why torture the own husband? for fun?

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yes mainly in the name of fun

but yes i do agree shouldn't go overboard, i heard few stories that the chi mui went overboard cause few incident like the heng tai breaking down the door/gate to go in cause the chi mui after taking angpow still dont want to open or another instance the "games" cause the groom to left after getting frusfrated and they were late yet the chi mui still doesn't want to let the groom go in and pick up his bride.

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It is always the guys that kena. I personally find these 'torture acts' very childish and unnecessary.

The Groom is there to pick the Bride. On what grounds do the girls have the right to force the guys to go through humiliation and kiddish stress??

I say enough of this silly nonsense. The Groom is King for a day. You dont do that to a king, would you? He gets to be a King only a for a few hours...so there's no right for the girls to treat him like a worthless King who's not worthy enough to pick his bride up.

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gosh there is a time, i saw an overboard video of what the chi mui did to the groom (not his heng tai mind you) the family of the groom is so angry and the parents actually walked out of the dinner after seeing the video of what they did to the son.

yes, some of the games are super childish and i totally hate the idea of humiliating the guys like wearing bra's, panties.

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I think we should stop this kiddish prank. It is uncalled for...and very low class to do that to the groom.

If you girls insist on doing thta to the groom and heng tai's...it is only FAIR that the bride and ji mui's go through the same torture!!

Who agrees with me?

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well, you dont have to go to the extend of totally eliminate door games. small games can be fun and make ur fetching the bride session merrier.

whether low class, disgusting, dirty or not is totally depends on how the bride and sisters do it. as a bride, she has the responsibility to brief her sisters and make sure the game is not overboard. For me, i told my sisters no "sex" thingy, no dirty thing and do not force my hb and friends to eat or drink sth disgusting. i had to say they did an excellent job ! i received lots of positive feedback on my game session. Ppl like it! it's fun, ppl were laughing but none feel humiliated or unhappy.

IMO, door games somehow reflect the behaviour, personalities and identity of the couple and their friends. i have heard someone attended other's wedding where the brothers were asked to eat bananas (like oral sex), to drink milk..etc and they commented, " it's poor to see their friends, come out THESE kind of games...cheap and dirty...never think about so many ppl, children are watching.." it's not about being "sporting" or "playful", it's about how you perceive your wedding. and your guests will see it that way too.

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panda1020,

i do agree with you as bride we have the responsibility to make sure our chi mui dont go overboard. infact, i'm choosing people who knows how to toe the line too to be my chi mui and not those who always think about "FUN" and forget about other things.

can you share with me your chi mui games details ? wants to find out how to do mine LOL and need some help. Thanks dear.

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my cousin also stop it as she didnt even have any picking up of the bride session.

just a tea ceremony prior to her evening church ceremony and then direct to dinner.

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GOOD GOOD! please stop the stupid and childish game.

A mild and fun chi mui games are okie but please nothing to indirectly to post for sexual or whatever kinds of game.

I did some fun chi mui games but nothing like eating banana, milk, etc.

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If you are the groom...(the King for one day)...do you want to be ridiculed when you pick up your wife?? This childish games are so stupid. Enough is enough! We girls MUST treat the groom like a King. What gives you the right to ridicule your husband on your wedding day??

It starts with the girls. If you stop this stupid act...before long, people will also follow suit. I say no more kiddish stupid games that ridicule the Groom. I always respect the groom on his big day...and treat him like a king.

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Well say! this is what I always think of it too.

The games were started by a group of people and starting spread it over.

It is not a must to have the games, it is based on individual.

It is the same to the wedding tradition and custom, who said it is a must to get this and that!? if you said SOMEONE, who is this SOMEONE!?

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For me, i discuss the games with chi mui to make the game for fun & entertaining when recorded in the video.

My heng tai dont know bout it.

I act dunno also

:lol:

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I'm also not having any picking up of the bride session, so no games;

the first time my husband-to-be will see me is during the bridal march into the church - my rationale is that I am entering this marriage of my own free will, and I want to represent that by exerting action on my part to come & meet him at the church as an equal partner. And it is important to me that the beginning of everything - of the wedding - will be in the sight of God.

Having said that, feel a BIT of like, missed opportunity like that because I am close to his hengtais (one of them is my own brother), and I would like to have an excuse to tease the hengtais a bit (my groom would be strictly off-limits, since he needs to be presentable in church :) Never mind, I'm sure opportunities will come, eg. during their birthdays or something.

my cousin also stop it as she didnt even have any picking up of the bride session.

just a tea ceremony prior to her evening church ceremony and then direct to dinner.

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Woah, that's terrible! Kesian the parents... they must've been so embarrassed. Everyone's big day ruined.

gosh there is a time, i saw an overboard video of what the chi mui did to the groom (not his heng tai mind you) the family of the groom is so angry and the parents actually walked out of the dinner after seeing the video of what they did to the son.

yes, some of the games are super childish and i totally hate the idea of humiliating the guys like wearing bra's, panties.

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Just had to congratulate you on a job well-done! I think you're right, the door games do reflect the personality of the people involved, and the sad thing is, maybe the couple actually aren't like that, but because they did not choose their bridal party carefully, they end up giving other people a bad impression of the couple.

Want to commend you for being organised & choosing your chi muis well, and giving them clear instructions, and for being considerate towards the groom & his hengtais. I'm sure it's largely due to your thoughtfulness & your planning that everyone had a fun time.

well, you dont have to go to the extend of totally eliminate door games. small games can be fun and make ur fetching the bride session merrier.

whether low class, disgusting, dirty or not is totally depends on how the bride and sisters do it. as a bride, she has the responsibility to brief her sisters and make sure the game is not overboard. For me, i told my sisters no "sex" thingy, no dirty thing and do not force my hb and friends to eat or drink sth disgusting. i had to say they did an excellent job ! i received lots of positive feedback on my game session. Ppl like it! it's fun, ppl were laughing but none feel humiliated or unhappy.

IMO, door games somehow reflect the behaviour, personalities and identity of the couple and their friends. i have heard someone attended other's wedding where the brothers were asked to eat bananas (like oral sex), to drink milk..etc and they commented, " it's poor to see their friends, come out THESE kind of games...cheap and dirty...never think about so many ppl, children are watching.." it's not about being "sporting" or "playful", it's about how you perceive your wedding. and your guests will see it that way too.

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It is definitely for fun and cheer up the ceremony!

I been thru my cousin AD wedding morning ceremony and found out the atmosphere is really embarrassing without the sister gang. It seems that the attendees also just a few only. No cheerful voice here & there, no one make fun & it is a very silence wedding day.

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I'm not going to play any chi mui games as well. I feel that the groom should be treated with respect! And both sides are equal in marriage. The chi mui games, at times it may get out of hand. most of the time, i noticed that the chi mui's and heng tai's will argue with each other. I really dont see any jovial games played!

The reason I think the chi mui games were played last time was because in those days, the bride & groom has not met each other and are nervous. As to this, the games were played to make them less nervous and also for the chi mui and heng tai's - it's a way to meet each other as those days there are not many occasions to meet singles...

So definitely times have changed! So to me, i'm not going to play all these games.

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I'm not going to play any chi mui games as well. I feel that the groom should be treated with respect! And both sides are equal in marriage. The chi mui games, at times it may get out of hand. most of the time, i noticed that the chi mui's and heng tai's will argue with each other. I really dont see any jovial games played!

The reason I think the chi mui games were played last time was because in those days, the bride & groom has not met each other and are nervous. As to this, the games were played to make them less nervous and also for the chi mui and heng tai's - it's a way to meet each other as those days there are not many occasions to meet singles...

So definitely times have changed! So to me, i'm not going to play all these games.

That's good. I hope more girls will take heed of this and not to ridicule your hubby. It is not worth the effort to embarass and belittle the heng tai's and hubby!

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I'm not going to play any chi mui games as well. I feel that the groom should be treated with respect! And both sides are equal in marriage. The chi mui games, at times it may get out of hand. most of the time, i noticed that the chi mui's and heng tai's will argue with each other. I really dont see any jovial games played!

The reason I think the chi mui games were played last time was because in those days, the bride & groom has not met each other and are nervous. As to this, the games were played to make them less nervous and also for the chi mui and heng tai's - it's a way to meet each other as those days there are not many occasions to meet singles...

So definitely times have changed! So to me, i'm not going to play all these games.

That's good. I hope more girls will take heed of this and not to ridicule your hubby. It is not worth the effort to embarass and belittle the heng tai's and hubby!

I buy u this time Amanda ! Whats the point of humiliating the groom and hengtais ? I totally agree that if the chimuis can think of such a low act..they must be part of it..

I personally been thru few of them and I dont think its funny and the Chimui's laughing while the hengtais gone thru the tortures. Lets imagine if we the hengtais put the chimuis thru what we are going thru , I bet till my last dollar , they will cry and would not do it !

So please stop the inhumane acts like putting the hengtais acting like a dog ( I've seen one before ) and torturing them...please use your brain and think what if u the chimuis are going thru the same thing and later its all recorded and put onto the widescreen for everyone to see at night......

BTW..was wondering who was so ingenius to think of such a practice ?????

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initially, i did not want to have fetch the bride session as well. but due to the requests of the elders, i have to have it. :(

i also do not want silly games - just 3 small hurdles will do :)

anyone's got suggestions of simple games that are not time consuming and does not require the boys to sweat?? No food games as I do not want anyone to get tummy ache.

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Yes Alanjune. Let this year be the year where all these useless and kiddish nonsense no longer will be practised. Enough is Enough!

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hie! finally i found some brides-to-be sharing the same sentiment as i do! it's indeed humiliating and not fun to see hubby treated like that. i seriously don't understand the hype. hubby actually thought i wanted all that. sigh. luckily he is so against the idea. it's just not right and is so "jina". it's like the groom must do everything while the bride just sit there and wait for things to get done. there's no feeling of shared responsibility whatsoever!

anyway, speaking of jie mui's, i wonder if it's alright to not have jie mui's/bridesmaids during "chut mun"? the bride has to buy for the bridesmaids their dresses, right? and whatever accessories they may require. i'm not ready to fork out that kinda money so i choose not to have any bridesmaid. is that ok?

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