Unconventional Wedding

[f1sh 0]

Hmm, just would like to spill my heart here. I apologise if it is too draggy.

My HTB and I are generally non-traditionalist, so we like to keep everything sweet and simple, because it is for us. Even the proposal was as well. Because we are in a LDR, we work really hard to be together and eventually, with me being aboard with him (he is not a local).

We were planning to have a wedding later this year, however, he wanted it to be a ceremony for just the two of us. He said that it should be special. However, I would like to invite my parents for the ceremony itself. He then say that he will compensate this by visiting my family, much later.

Am I being sensitive or inconsiderate that I did not want my wedding to be that simple? I wanted it to be small, but not *that* small that it is just for the two of us. I don't know, because I have been upset just thinking about it for days. Maybe it is the fairy tale wedding that everyone has been dreaming about.. and I have mine too. =(

Hmm, it has been upsetting me so much that I am even thinking about breaking up the engagement. I am not sure if I am thinking right... or if I have the right to be this upset...

[@lice~~ 0]

Well, wedding should be a very happy and lovely event/ceremony but in preparation or before the actual wedding it's always a bad moment - a lot of argument, misunderstanding, confusion, and etc among the couple or even the families. So it is kinda normal for everyone before the wedding day i think :P, anyway a communicate is always the best solution for it. Try to communicate with your bf again, a simple wedding ceremony should include your parent or family and maybe some closed friends.

Good Luck

[vv_xoxo 0]

True, communication is the key, and u shall find a mutual agreement, as the wedding involves the "both" of you.... ^^

[skye 0]

communication, communication and communication ....

well, i do find 2 person abit too simple LOL ! I at least want the most important people in my life to be around and share the happiness with. Hope you'll have a breakthrough and manage to get this sorted.

[f1sh 0]

Well, wedding should be a very happy and lovely event/ceremony but in preparation or before the actual wedding it's always a bad moment - a lot of argument, misunderstanding, confusion, and etc among the couple or even the families. So it is kinda normal for everyone before the wedding day i think :P, anyway a communicate is always the best solution for it. Try to communicate with your bf again, a simple wedding ceremony should include your parent or family and maybe some closed friends.

Good Luck

True, communication is the key, and u shall find a mutual agreement, as the wedding involves the "both" of you.... ^^

communication, communication and communication ....

well, i do find 2 person abit too simple LOL ! I at least want the most important people in my life to be around and share the happiness with. Hope you'll have a breakthrough and manage to get this sorted.

Thanks a lot. I do find two person to be a bit too simple (well, obviously there will be two other friends there, to be the witness), and I do hope that there could be a line that both of us could agree upon.

Hi Fish,

Well they do that in Vegas. Just kidding. But not you're not being sensitive. Is there any reason given by your HTB about why he wants it only to be just the two of you?

Many people today are opting on smaller weddings already and packing everything up with quality rather than quantity. But having just the two of you may not be as cool as one may feel. But that is just me and my preference.

The original wedding requires witnesses and a ceremony of parents sending off their daughter into the hands of another man who are now suppose to take over that important role for the remaining half of your life. It is a symbolic thing that at least parents should be there and from my opinion, I think that a wedding without parents would be incomplete. May not be for now, but 10 years down the road something may feel lacking...and there's no way of turning it back.

Of course, there's no need to force it into his head about this matter. But it is important to let him know that you want your parents to be there. Love is giving and because he loves you, I don't think this is too big a problem for him to compromise regardless of his difficulties or preference.

Being husband and wife is having the privilege to ask for something without arguing or another feeling that you are too demanding.

It should all be open to a warm and friendly discussion, that will bring you guys a long long way.

Welcome to your first discussion and meeting half way opportunity, there will be more to come after this! To be honest, it can get quite interesting....and fun!

Try it!

:)

Oh, and congratulations on your coming big day!!!!!!!!

Thanks wgpictures. You may be joking about Vegas, but I think that is what he has in mind! The reason him giving is that he wants it to be a personal and intimate wedding, and he believes that this is a matter of two hearts. He does not like to put on wedding like it is a show. I think I am not able to convince him on how my family is important to me.

Like you said, a wedding without a ceremony of parents sending off their daughter, into the hands of another man in my opinion, would be an incomplete marriage. And I am afraid that looking back, I will regret it.

I do not think it is too big of a problem for him to compromise as well, and I do not know why it is so hard for him to! I do not understand. =( He said that he will instead, spend one whole month with my parents after the wedding, but it is just different. I am losing all ways to tell him or trying to convince him, without forcing him.

Thanks for your warm welcome and wishes.

[natalyn 0]

i have to agree with u on this... though wat he says bout big weddings being a (wasteful) show is also true, a marriage is a union of 2 hearts AND 2 families... i dun think thr's anything wrong w having ur parents n siblings w u on this special day (n if it's possible, ur bestest friends too)..

about him compensating to visit ur family 'much later'... i would actually feel insulted i were a family member, n even though he'll spend the next one month w your family just to compensate, it won't actually do much to erase the fact that BOTH of u excluded "me" from one of the most important event of your lives.. i think most parents would want to be thr to witness their child entering a new phase in life right???

i think u should tell him that as this is a once in a lifetime occasion, u would want it to be perfect for u and for him, coz u dun wan to regret it later looking back just because u were following his wishes... he should understand n try to compromise, without being forced to...

[hayanna 0]

personally, at least you have to invite your parents & best friends to be on that special day..

not just 'two of us'............