My HB has a flirty colleague

[gingergurl 0]

Recently there's this new girl that joined my husband's company. I have not seen her before so do not know how pretty she is. She does not have facebook either or maybe she don't use her real name for facebook coz i have turned on my "detective" skills and still can't find her.

Why i take notice of her? Because she keeps sms and calling and chatting via iphone with my hb! First it was the sms. I will see my HB replying to her sms and at the back of my mind I will always think it's because she is new to the company and wants some advice for work (she is directly under my hB).

After the sms, there's the phone calls. There's once my hb talk to her on the phone for one hour from 7pm to 8pm and i was so annoyed because i was waiting for him to go dinner. When i ask him about it, he said that the new staff needs advice for work. So i let it be.

This week i went out with hb for late nite supper and i notice he keep chatting with her via iphone.And the time was 12am. So i ask him, so late still wanna chat abt work? Your colleague is such a workaholic issit?

He told me, no no, she is having problems with her Overseas BF and just asking for advice.

WTF? Now she is asking my hb for her personal life advice? And wtf is my hb doing?

After that the next day i checked the "chat history" and found out got one part she wrote there "thanks my dear" to which my hb replied "Your dear is overseas, i am not your dear".

And she replied "you are my dear for now"

Imagine how i was. They are flirting with each other. OK deep down i know that i can trust my hb because no matter what he is no cheater but i am worried about the girls! sometimes they have no morals. They like to kacau married man coz it's like the harder you get the thing, the more exciting. And furthermore since I am currently pregnant, me and my hb sex life is non-existent. Sometimes it just makes me worry.

I know that my hb is also at fault to "layan" her so much but he is this type of person. Even his ex also, if they need any help, they call him, he will go out and help them or go out minum minum with them. i have already informed him that i do not like him going out with his ex so often.

Well, i don't know if it's my pregnancy hormones making me over think this situation, maybe the girl just need advice for work but i still feel that all the sms, calls and chats are too much already.

What should i do?

[genielee_83 0]

why dont you try voice out your thoughts to your hb?

My hb also not that sensitive, till my fren tld him how stressed i am at one time last year.

If it hadn't been for my fren, i might enter tanjung rambutan coz hb didnt knw

whats happening to me.

[@lice~~ 0]

Some girl are just like that.. they not even care abt other's feeling.. they are many girl around my HB too either supplier, colleagues or other party related to work.. 1 of his colleague always call him no matter what work related, personal and etc.. they juz like treat my HB their bf =.=".. that's a time, she ask my HB to fetch her to take her car at workshop.. there is a lot of other guy colleague why must she ask my bf.. some more they are in different office, my HB that time at Midvalley and her at Ikano.. n give a lot of excuse like my HB know a lot abt car so need him to accompany her to see the car condition.. and almost everyday call my HB ask this and that.. i did bring out this issue to talk to my HB, but you know lah they sure say NOTHING one, they are colleague only. All I can say is that girl very desperate to look for bf, hear my HB said that actually that girl admire another guy colleague in their company. But WTH you always come disturb my HB, go and kacau that guy she admired lah..

One incident I confirm that she really desperate for guy.. the night before our ROM, they want to celebrate with my HB at club.. then when taking picture, she lay her head on my HB's shoulder n stand very close to each other.. some more i m there u know.. she juz treat me transparent there..

Really cant understand those girl.. if the same thing happen on them, i think they will act jz like us..

Well, my advise is talk to ur HB.. let him know abt ur unhappiness.. "tell him that not u r not trusting him but u jz hate to see other girl doing so"

[gingergurl 0]

These type of girls, why can't they get find single men to kacau? What is so interesting about attached men?

[tinkerbelle 0]

sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it takes 2 to tango.

if i were in your shoes, i'll sort out my husband properly first before i go and sort out the girl.

[yummymummy 0]

sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it takes 2 to tango.

if i were in your shoes, i'll sort out my husband properly first before i go and sort out the girl.

You got that right. The only person you should talk to is your husband. The other woman can do whatever she wants but your husband is the one married to you. If he ignores her, there is nothing much the other woman can do.

[gingergurl 0]

Yes i know that but sometimes even tho we trust our HB but you see those girls keep trying desperately it's annoying...they just won't give up and still hope for "something". You know how it is. Sometimes we have a fight with our HB, he is in bad mood, goes out drinking or watever and meet up with these girls and do something wrong without thinking....no matter what theyre still man. And man likes their egos rubbed....

[Apekjolly 0]

Confucius gave a very simple advice:

Do not do unto others what you would not like others do unto you.

If those flirty girls and husbands abide by this obvious common sense philosophy, no anger and jealousy need to be perpetrated. Sometimes we wonder why, for example, those girls cannot imagine that if their husbands or boyfriends are being disturbed by other girls like how they disturb others, how would they feel?

The same thing with husbands. If their wives entertain other men like how they entertain other girls, how would they feel?

[meiteoh 0]

Yes i know that but sometimes even tho we trust our HB but you see those girls keep trying desperately it's annoying...they just won't give up and still hope for "something". You know how it is. Sometimes we have a fight with our HB, he is in bad mood, goes out drinking or watever and meet up with these girls and do something wrong without thinking....no matter what theyre still man. And man likes their egos rubbed....

To be very frank, you're barking up the wrong tree by worrying about the girl. Your HB never bother correcting her when she claimed him to be her "dear for now". Ego rubbing aside and all that, as saying goes, if you're not interested, no matter how tempting the person is, it would never be an issue.

You can "shoo" this girl away but there are plenty of others like her out there. In other words, your HB is the one inviting trouble here, not the girl. If he doesn't encourage, doesn't talk about stuff like this with a colleague, you wouldn't be ranting about this problem now, would you? This all start because he LET her get this close, respond to her SMS messages and so forth.

To be fair, not all single gals are out to steal your husband. Sometimes they genuinely need help and concern BUT our spouses need to know when to draw the line between helping and flirting/getting intimately involved.

Also, if you trust your hubby, why are you checking his call history la? :)

Go talk to him and share your concerns...and do something about your sex life or intimacy. Pregnancy should never be the end of a healthy sex life or intimate relationship. ;)

[jennichin 0]

Before approaching the girl, your HB need to correct himself and thus drawing a fine line with the girl colleague. I too faced a similar situation like yours where my HB was flirting on FB and MSN on the first year of our marriage. It happened when I used the computer and his MSN logged in automatically and the b*tch addressing him as Dear. I agreed with the theory- It takes 2 hands to clap. If HB does not entertain this unneccessary people continuosly, this should not have started.

I confronted my HB on this and even threw big tempers like nobody business and if our marriage goes down the drain one day, he should be the one who is causing it. He banned the girl from the MSN and stopped communicating from then onwards. Believes me, there are low life b*tches and s*ckers (where in this case she was a divorcee with a kid) looking for men.

[minnieme 0]

If im in your shoe, i will speak to him first. Tell him exactly how you feel and it is a blessing too that you are pregnant. Afterall, husband is kinder when the wife is pregnant right? Just say this is affecting you and you do not want your emotion to affect the baby in the womb. Just directly tell him what you want him to do. Men are usually not good (or ignorance) in taking hint from the wife.

Once i found out from my husband (we were in long distance r.ship) that this girl was interested in him, which i know her too. And she still have 'muka' to talk to me nicely asking about me n my husband. So i just directly told her on msn (when she pretended to be nice) that i know her intention for him. From that time onwards, she just dissappear and did not look for him anymore when she flies to UK (i then moved to UK and she is a air stewardess from HK). I also directly instruct my husband to STOP all kind of communication ie no meet up(even with friends along), no msn, no facebook, no friendster, no stored number in phone list. I told him not to do anything to break my trust otherwise i will do alot of other stuff to get back to him.

if you ever going to meet her, just show to her that you are not a stupid weak woman craving for your husband love. That way she might be able to think if it is worth to continue her 'hunt'.