Jump to content
zeroflower

Delivery woes and jitters

Recommended Posts

piggy87 - mine didnt engage at all! :D but i hear it's around 37 or 38 weeks!

aish..really ar? the same? So how did you cope? I try my best not to carry her cos i know it'll be hard once i send her to the babysitter..but my mom told me not to let a poor baby cry too long cos it'l make them insecured.. i let her cry till i know it's serious crying then only will i pick her up.. dont want to spoil her as well :)

as for time passing by, i guess we'll kive tru it but it's really difficult for me now..8 months seems like a looong way to go.. :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
i think we both are in the same boat... hugs to you dear...

i cried on 5th day after my delivery cos i was either resting or latching NB so hardly spent time with Sanju, i felt like an alien mom or irresponsible at that! Only 7 days after delivery i got back to my routine of feeding Sanju myself (it was less tiring, others like bathing, washing was done by mom), and used to put him for his naps or bedtime by myself. After that I would let my dad sleep by his side, while i slept with NB and mom. By 7am, dad will be up and i will go back and sleep beside him... it gave me some assurance that i am by his side as how we used to sleep and wake up together. Even now, at nights when i put him to sleep, i cry to him while he looks at me with amusement... i feel bad for spending less time and effort on him now

He in his terrible two is making things worse with his attitude and naughtiness... i know it is not the solution but i tend to shout at him so often, my parents might be thinking i am such a terrible mom. I even beat him once or twice (he does his spitting food/water thing to get attention, for fun), i hate seeing him play and waste his food. After that i will be terribly sorry, while sanju will walk away crying to my mom... and after less than 5 minutes he will run back towards me... makes me feel even bad for being mean to him. I am hoping to keep the shouting at control now, otherwise he will get immune to my high voice and that is not good

I will be back at my own place in 1 months time and i wonder how am i gonna manage the 2 kids on my own... God give me the strength

piggy87, purple, best wishes to both of u..it's not going to be easy.. I'm just praying we'll get tru it n stay sane at the end of it..

Yes, i suppose so Q. I'm really sorry for u too... I'm not happy that ur suffering as well but it's a comfort knowing I'm not the only one who's having high n lows evryday with my kids. Hope u know what i mean. My 2 yr old just wouldnt listen too,maybe cos she wants attention, testing my love or just having fun, i dont know. She squeezes baby's toes sometimes, maybe geram but when i tell her off or push her had away saying she's hurting baby n she wouldnt like it if someone else does it to her, she scratches me instead, which leads me to scold her or beat her (if she continues to scratch or starts another mischief like kicking or shouting). I do feel that she's more mischievous eversince baby arrived.

As for my 1 mth baby, she wants to be carried or rocked all the time it's driving me nuts. I do not make it a habit but when i put her down on the cot, 5-10 min later, she screams her lungs out. It's really loud! HEr whole face will turn red, n her whole body will shake! It's like as tho someone hit her. So i'll have to carry n pacify her n try to put her down again. It's a whole never ending cycle. Every night, it a max of 4 hours of sleep for me... I tried sending her to babysitter for a few hours n babysitter was complainig that baby will cry every time she puts her down :( i really dont know what to do..

I love both of them to bits but at times i wonder if we did the right thing n regret having 2nd so soon. Feel so bad for feeling that way. As for hubby n i, no time for each other at all..we're just existing.. :S

i know what u mean.. when i saw your post while i was totaly down, it was kind of assuring knowing that it is not me & my toddler... becos when things were happening such way for me, i felt like my communication with my toddler has totally broken down, i even started blaming myself for losing temper, causing him to retaliate.

Sanju is the same.. he will first pat and sayang baby, and then he will slap NB's head, squeeze the hand or even scratch.. once left a small mark.. i dont want to scold him or shoo him away, but if he is going to be potentially hurting, i need to stop him right

many times ive regretted having the second baby, plus he sleeps most of the time, so ive not really got much of a bond with him.. only thing he looks a lot like Sanju, it reminds me of Sanju's NB days. 2 days ago i had difficult time with him at night... hardly slept.. but at least day time he sleeps so i can tk care of sanju..

right now is honeymoon period.. once i am back at my place, i donno how am i gonna handle the 2... NB seems to cry for milk when i am feeding sanju milk (and sanju drinks only 3 times a day.. imagine the coincidence?)

Once when i was losing temper badly on sanju, i told my mom (to sort of justify me losing it) that Sanju really makes me angry with his tantrums, and my mom told me 'sanju also might be angry with u for having a baby so soon'

her words really put me to shame, but i cant deny the truth in it

aish.. i also tell myself.. if others can do it, why not me... haha.. thinking positive

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi all,

May i know how soon ur babies engage before labor? I'm almost 37wks but seems like baby head still yet to engage.. from my last chekp up he's head down alr.

my first baby engaged by w37, and was delivered within days after that..

2nd one din engage, but his head was down for 5 weeks before that..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
piggy87 - mine didnt engage at all! :D but i hear it's around 37 or 38 weeks!

aish..really ar? the same? So how did you cope? I try my best not to carry her cos i know it'll be hard once i send her to the babysitter..but my mom told me not to let a poor baby cry too long cos it'l make them insecured.. i let her cry till i know it's serious crying then only will i pick her up.. dont want to spoil her as well :)

as for time passing by, i guess we'll kive tru it but it's really difficult for me now..8 months seems like a looong way to go.. :(

zeroflower, are u sending both your kids to the same bbsitter?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OMG... I cannot imagine what you both are going thru... I was planning to have a 2nd one soon... like perhaps in 2013 and that time my girl will only be touching 2 yrs old... reading ur posts makes me wonder if that's too soon...

I'm sure things will get better as time passes by... it always does... do remind urself constantly that it's not you... it's the hormones playing games with ur emotions... you are doing a great job being a mother... :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
i think we both are in the same boat... hugs to you dear...

i cried on 5th day after my delivery cos i was either resting or latching NB so hardly spent time with Sanju, i felt like an alien mom or irresponsible at that! Only 7 days after delivery i got back to my routine of feeding Sanju myself (it was less tiring, others like bathing, washing was done by mom), and used to put him for his naps or bedtime by myself. After that I would let my dad sleep by his side, while i slept with NB and mom. By 7am, dad will be up and i will go back and sleep beside him... it gave me some assurance that i am by his side as how we used to sleep and wake up together. Even now, at nights when i put him to sleep, i cry to him while he looks at me with amusement... i feel bad for spending less time and effort on him now

He in his terrible two is making things worse with his attitude and naughtiness... i know it is not the solution but i tend to shout at him so often, my parents might be thinking i am such a terrible mom. I even beat him once or twice (he does his spitting food/water thing to get attention, for fun), i hate seeing him play and waste his food. After that i will be terribly sorry, while sanju will walk away crying to my mom... and after less than 5 minutes he will run back towards me... makes me feel even bad for being mean to him. I am hoping to keep the shouting at control now, otherwise he will get immune to my high voice and that is not good

I will be back at my own place in 1 months time and i wonder how am i gonna manage the 2 kids on my own... God give me the strength

piggy87, purple, best wishes to both of u..it's not going to be easy.. I'm just praying we'll get tru it n stay sane at the end of it..

Yes, i suppose so Q. I'm really sorry for u too... I'm not happy that ur suffering as well but it's a comfort knowing I'm not the only one who's having high n lows evryday with my kids. Hope u know what i mean. My 2 yr old just wouldnt listen too,maybe cos she wants attention, testing my love or just having fun, i dont know. She squeezes baby's toes sometimes, maybe geram but when i tell her off or push her had away saying she's hurting baby n she wouldnt like it if someone else does it to her, she scratches me instead, which leads me to scold her or beat her (if she continues to scratch or starts another mischief like kicking or shouting). I do feel that she's more mischievous eversince baby arrived.

As for my 1 mth baby, she wants to be carried or rocked all the time it's driving me nuts. I do not make it a habit but when i put her down on the cot, 5-10 min later, she screams her lungs out. It's really loud! HEr whole face will turn red, n her whole body will shake! It's like as tho someone hit her. So i'll have to carry n pacify her n try to put her down again. It's a whole never ending cycle. Every night, it a max of 4 hours of sleep for me... I tried sending her to babysitter for a few hours n babysitter was complainig that baby will cry every time she puts her down :( i really dont know what to do..

I love both of them to bits but at times i wonder if we did the right thing n regret having 2nd so soon. Feel so bad for feeling that way. As for hubby n i, no time for each other at all..we're just existing.. :S

i know what u mean.. when i saw your post while i was totaly down, it was kind of assuring knowing that it is not me & my toddler... becos when things were happening such way for me, i felt like my communication with my toddler has totally broken down, i even started blaming myself for losing temper, causing him to retaliate.

Sanju is the same.. he will first pat and sayang baby, and then he will slap NB's head, squeeze the hand or even scratch.. once left a small mark.. i dont want to scold him or shoo him away, but if he is going to be potentially hurting, i need to stop him right

many times ive regretted having the second baby, plus he sleeps most of the time, so ive not really got much of a bond with him.. only thing he looks a lot like Sanju, it reminds me of Sanju's NB days. 2 days ago i had difficult time with him at night... hardly slept.. but at least day time he sleeps so i can tk care of sanju..

right now is honeymoon period.. once i am back at my place, i donno how am i gonna handle the 2... NB seems to cry for milk when i am feeding sanju milk (and sanju drinks only 3 times a day.. imagine the coincidence?)

Once when i was losing temper badly on sanju, i told my mom (to sort of justify me losing it) that Sanju really makes me angry with his tantrums, and my mom told me 'sanju also might be angry with u for having a baby so soon'

her words really put me to shame, but i cant deny the truth in it

aish.. i also tell myself.. if others can do it, why not me... haha.. thinking positive

Q,

Can Sanju feed himself? Is he still on bottle or cup feeding? I let Ivan drink milk by himself now. He's still on bottle.

Sometimes, I worry will Ivan be jealous of his little bro? Trying not to think too much now and conserve my energy to prepare myself for 2kids soon.

Yeah, try to think on the bright side of things. Maybe in 3-4months time, it's ur turn to console me.... :p

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

haha...yeah, we'll take turns consoling each other.. ;D

thanks mermyz..mine is 2.3 yrs apart..i think there are diff challenges at different age gap..so 1 yr or 2 yrs or 3 yrs..it wont be easy too..

my sis waited 5 yrs..easier cos big one is much older n independent but he was too used to being a single child. she had her difficulties as well..

q, yep, same babysitter but I'm planning to tke big sis out by end of the year cos next April she'll be 3. So technically, next year she'll be 3 n i think it's a good time to let her join playschool.. she loves to socialise.

i get that a lot too..my mil wil tell me that my girl is jealous of baby or wants my attention n it really mkes me feel bad.

thankully, i love baby just as much as big sis but initially, i was also confused cos she looks so much like big sis. but now, after 1.5 moths, she's showing a diff behaviour n starting to look diff too. She clings to me alot too n i'm her human pacifier. I love big sis as much but tend to protect baby more as she's so helpless...cant blame me right?

i think they hve a love hate relationship. She loves the baby but also bullies her in a way. but when i threaten to give the baby to uncle (someone i created.lol) she cries n tells me it's HER baby..

last nght i wacked big sis on her butt, few times. it hurt i knew cos i hit her twice she was still laughing but the final 2 hits was harder n left red marks on her butt.. my hand hurt as well. i felt bad but i knew it was necessary. i had read to her, tuck her in to bed but she wouldnt sleep. kept waking up, running on the bed, making noise n shouting back when dad was telling her off. i couldnt accept that kind of disrespect.. i felt bad n hugged her later n explained to her why i hit her buttock.. i wish she would listen when i tell her nicely..but she's just a 2yr+ todller..wat to expect. sigh.

today planning to pick her up earlier n bring her to the playground n maybe leave baby wit the babysitter for a while.. i believe she misbehaves cos she doesnt have enough time with me. at night, sometimes she wakes up or cries for me in her sleep. she was never like this before i got pregnant.

hang in there q.. i'm sure we'll pull tru..we regret only becos we're burnt out n overly stressed...

children are gifts from God..it's never a mistake:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

my kids are 1.5 yrs apart... haha...

purple, sanju is bottle feeding, he can hold and drink on his own, but u know, he is used to the attention, and so is mummy used to being by his side, talking sweet things while he drinks. another thing is his drinks are before nap and bedtime, so it helps for him to sooth and doze off... if i am by his side once he is done with the bottle i will hug and lie beside him, and he sleeps of immediately.. one advantage of still being on the bottle

zeroflower, just as how we were consoling each other during pregnancy.. now too!

yea, the gift of life, i am looking forward for my baby to grow older then me and sanju will hv a great time playing with him

he does get excited seeing the little moving toy (baby) but u know they are kids, they dont know how to be gentle or rough, so when he is excited his gestures are hard... he will need time i guess

my cousin's 2yo also had similar behaviours when she got her no.2... these reactions are normal for them.. and i suppose us mothers feeling this is normal too.. only thing it is NOT fun when we go thru these emotions

i also regret the same, not spending enuf time, so i somehow try to do all solid and milk feedings for him.. and i hope i will be able to continue doing the same once back at my place.. the time for them is really important

hubby is supportive and very helpful.. and it feels doubly better to share feelings with like-minded moms over here.. luv ya all.. hugs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
piggy87 - mine didnt engage at all! :D but i hear it's around 37 or 38 weeks!

aish..really ar? the same? So how did you cope? I try my best not to carry her cos i know it'll be hard once i send her to the babysitter..but my mom told me not to let a poor baby cry too long cos it'l make them insecured.. i let her cry till i know it's serious crying then only will i pick her up.. dont want to spoil her as well :)

as for time passing by, i guess we'll kive tru it but it's really difficult for me now..8 months seems like a looong way to go.. :(

Thanks zeroflower.. i do hope this lil fellow gonna engage soon & come out, freaking tired alr.. feel like cant wait to hold him in my arms~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
piggy87 - mine didnt engage at all! :D but i hear it's around 37 or 38 weeks!

aish..really ar? the same? So how did you cope? I try my best not to carry her cos i know it'll be hard once i send her to the babysitter..but my mom told me not to let a poor baby cry too long cos it'l make them insecured.. i let her cry till i know it's serious crying then only will i pick her up.. dont want to spoil her as well :)

as for time passing by, i guess we'll kive tru it but it's really difficult for me now..8 months seems like a looong way to go.. :(

Thanks zeroflower.. i do hope this lil fellow gonna engage soon & come out, freaking tired alr.. feel like cant wait to hold him in my arms~

Piggy,

Ivan was breech so I can't really help u with the 'head engage' thing.

I was just like u when I was pregnant around ur time. Tired of getting up to pee in the middle of night and the backache was killing me. Most of all can't wait to see and hold him in my arms. But when he came and was constantly crying, how I wish I could put him back in. Hahaha... That's why my advice to all my 1st time pregnant friends, enjoy ur pregnancy cos when bb comes, there's no more 'your' time, its all about bb then. Think of it as ur bb giving u a few more days of holiday. :p

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my... when I look back... my pregnant days are like honeymoon period... I didn't have to lift a finger cos hubby was doing everything, I ate everything and anything I liked... all I did was come home from work, watch TV and lie down and eat.

Now... I'm thankful if I have 5 mins to eat and another 5 mins to shower everyday after work. Not to say I'm not happy being a mum... but its a totally different kind of happiness. This is the fulfilling kind... and I think Piggy, you should enjoy ur relaxing happiness time for now. Go read a book, watch a movie, eat buffet... cos for the next few years... all u will reading is "Babies for Dummies" and all you will be watching is Barney and friends... maybe :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi all,

May i know how soon ur babies engage before labor? I'm almost 37wks but seems like baby head still yet to engage.. from my last chekp up he's head down alr.

my first baby engaged by w37, and was delivered within days after that..

2nd one din engage, but his head was down for 5 weeks before that..

qarezma, ur 2nd baby is natural birth or c-sec? Is it all natural birth, baby must engage or else have to go for c-sec?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hi all,

May i know how soon ur babies engage before labor? I'm almost 37wks but seems like baby head still yet to engage.. from my last chekp up he's head down alr.

my first baby engaged by w37, and was delivered within days after that..

2nd one din engage, but his head was down for 5 weeks before that..

qarezma, ur 2nd baby is natural birth or c-sec? Is it all natural birth, baby must engage or else have to go for c-sec?

both my babies are natural delivery

it does not work that way... not all babies in fact do engage... and i read somewhere the 1st baby is more likely to engage, the others, not much..

anyhows there are other situations that might determine natural or c-sec.. baby not engaged is not among them :)

dont worry yourself over that...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
piggy87 - mine didnt engage at all! :D but i hear it's around 37 or 38 weeks!

aish..really ar? the same? So how did you cope? I try my best not to carry her cos i know it'll be hard once i send her to the babysitter..but my mom told me not to let a poor baby cry too long cos it'l make them insecured.. i let her cry till i know it's serious crying then only will i pick her up.. dont want to spoil her as well :)

as for time passing by, i guess we'll kive tru it but it's really difficult for me now..8 months seems like a looong way to go.. :(

Thanks zeroflower.. i do hope this lil fellow gonna engage soon & come out, freaking tired alr.. feel like cant wait to hold him in my arms~

Piggy,

Ivan was breech so I can't really help u with the 'head engage' thing.

I was just like u when I was pregnant around ur time. Tired of getting up to pee in the middle of night and the backache was killing me. Most of all can't wait to see and hold him in my arms. But when he came and was constantly crying, how I wish I could put him back in. Hahaha... That's why my advice to all my 1st time pregnant friends, enjoy ur pregnancy cos when bb comes, there's no more 'your' time, its all about bb then. Think of it as ur bb giving u a few more days of holiday. :p

purple lotus,

hehe, every1 telling me the same thg.. when u're pregnant u'll be hoping ur baby to come out faster, when he's out u wan to put him back in ur tummy, when he's a baby u keep asking him to talk & walk & move around but when he know how to do that n turn into a lil devil, u'll ask him to sit quitely pula.. haha..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...