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gingergurl

Blues from First Time Inexperienced Mummy

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Actually I think that part of what is causing me to have some bouts of blues is the Chinese Confinement practice. Not allowed to shower, wash hair, have to eat those ginger + alcohol chicken everyday and NOT ALLOWED TO GO OUT.

Goodness it's driving me crazy, this not allowed to go out thingy. I hate being stuck at home while my husband can go out to work and do other activities. Sometimes i know i purposely show black face to my husband coz im jealous he can go out while i am stuck at home taking care of baby. For the showering part, i showered at day 8 and washed my hair at day 12. Enough is enough. Where do they come out with all these rules? Some other cultures don't even practice this and so does it mean they will get those sickness?

No wonder woman get the blues.

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They come up with these rules because in ancient China, women bath in rivers and use well water and trust me, you don't want to do that during the cold months, especially after having a baby. No piped water too so it means you have to carry buckets of water, then wood to heat up the water so it's mah fan. That's why they say don't bath for the first month. People back that are more supersititious and will attribute anything to what you do even though it's genetics, from food, etc.

But today we have modern AND traditional medicine, piped water and a lot of luxuries or basic comforts. Some people argue that you'll get aches and pains in your old age if you bath but I know of many SINGLE elderly women who have aches and pains. Takkan macam teenage pregnancies right - give birth and dump - or virgin birth?

That's why my hubby feels that certain aspects of Chinese confinement is bad for pregnant women - the rest and getting someone to do the chores and cooking while you cope with baby is okay but not going out, not bathing and not eating certain foods (especially foods that are good for pregnant AND lactating women), to him, that's just stupidity and I do agree with him despite being Chinese. Maybe I guess I'm not so Chinese after all. :p

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gingergurl, i truly understand how u feel.. my confinement was like that too...worse is i don't have internet and far away from friends. i had my confinement in my hometown with my mom.. that's y.. but it was my choice so i don't blame anyone. :)

about pumping..my first 2 months in my hometown, my milk flow was really bad too, just 1 - 2 oz. most of the time just 1 oz. i got 2 oz only when my breasts are very very full. i asked my mom to cook papaya soup for me almost everyday.. oso not helping. i kept calling my experienced friends for advices but oso no help. furthermore mom oso dun know much abt bf, and sometimes keep asking me funny questions. mil pulak keep telling my hubby to persuade me to feed bb with formula milk. my aunt oso same, said: Give formula first, make baby strong then only breastfeed.. I was like.. huh? i tot shud bf in order to make bb strong.. how come terbalik.. but despite all that time will past.. slowly slowly things will get better. my bb is 2mo now, milk flow still bad, max is 3oz but my attitude changed dy, i just let it, just latch on bb when i m with him, and keep pumping whenever my breast is full or whenever i have free time. i am back to KL, taking care bb all alone. everyday so busy, till no time to eat.. but maybe becoz i am alone, i feel less pressure. at home i just wear nursing bra, so easy to feed baby. not like in my hometown, so mafan coz my dad is always around, i always got to bring bb back to my room to nurse him. i am taking milkmaid tea now, trying to see if it can help to increase my milk production or not.. hehe..

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It seems that everyday there's a new experience. The past 2 days my bb is abit fussy. He stays active for 2 - 3 hours in a stretch. After feeding, cry. If play with him that will only catch his attention for 10 mins. Once we put him down, he cry again. He can't be hungry coz he juz fed rite? I try to change his diaper and everything, pat him, cuddle him. HE will stop crying for a while then start again. Is this normal?

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My girl usually cries if she is uncomfortable and needs to be burped. She also cries very loudly to inform me she is about to pee or poo. Or sometimes she just wants to be carried or wants to nurse again (even if I just fed her an hour ago - maybe growth spurt or just for comfort) in the evenings she usually cries bcos its her fussy period before bedtime.

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It seems that everyday there's a new experience. The past 2 days my bb is abit fussy. He stays active for 2 - 3 hours in a stretch. After feeding, cry. If play with him that will only catch his attention for 10 mins. Once we put him down, he cry again. He can't be hungry coz he juz fed rite? I try to change his diaper and everything, pat him, cuddle him. HE will stop crying for a while then start again. Is this normal?

hi gurl, i think majority of the baby tend to be fussy before bed time huh... my son used to bahave super fussy before bed time and I hv a hard period to get him sleep during his first 2 mth... now he is 3 mth old and thing just turn good like that... every nite he will play on his own on the bed by sucking his hand and doze off thereafter... my happy hr now is to get him sleep coz he normally will 'sembang' (some sort like ee ee ah ah and laugh lar....) with us before sleep... not like last time make him sleep is a scary mission for me... he will just cry like nobody business... stop 1 minute, then cry again....:( I guess ur son is only about 1/2mth + rite? give him more time.... everything outside of his mom womb still new and strange to him... we adult need time to adopt to new enviroment and wat more to say he is just a little baby..?? and ya I get blue too during my confinement mainly due to those sucking chinese confinement rules.... anyway time flies and u will get rid of it very soon... cheer up!!! (u MUST cheer up or else ur bad mood will sure affected ur bb... bb need a happy mummy....)

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Ok I guess what he is going thru is normal...i have tried everything when he is fussy. Burp, change diapers, cuddle, talk, and lastly feeding. Last nite fed him so many times during the 2 hour period. Seems like he feed then sleep for 20 - 30 mins and wake up fuss again. And then this morning woke up at 6am and fuss till 9.30am. Guess this is what i have to go thru b4 he turns "normal".

ANyway i am glad to inform that for breastfeeding i am getting the hang of it. I manage to pump out more now, still not a lot but one breast can pump out 1.5 Oz so it is a major improvement to me and i am not so pressured by "no milk".

Another thing worrying me is my baby has jaundice. Last week sent him to hospital for phototheraphy for 2 nites and this week when we do his blood test, he is under the normal range but reading is near to the high side. Next week have to do the blood test again. Will this jaundice go away on its own? If yes, how long it takes? My paed told me that after the photo theraphy the jaundice should not come back again but when i saw his reading few days ago i am beginning to get worried that he mite have some other problems? Sigh, not easy to be a parent. Worry this and that.

Hope mummies can enlighten me on this. Baby is now 16 days old. I hope he don't have to be admitted again :(

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My boy yellow for 1 month. He also had the phototheraphy for 2 nights when he was 3-4 days old. What i did is to reduce ginger during my confinement.

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For jaundice, what I did was minimize ginger intake, put my girl near window that gets the morning sun at abt 8 or 8.30am n just keep breastfeeding. It will improve by its own.

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gingergurl, my baby oso the same, i dont have to describe again. his behaviour exactly the same as yours. cry for dunno what? everynite he will cry his lung out before we can make him sleep. i sing to him, talk to him, rock him, latch him on....every nite try all sort of methods to make him sleep. now my baby is 2mo++... nite time getting better, i dunno how, but i think majority babies are like that. we just need to be patient and let him grow. today we brought him to a shopping mall. when i carry him, he fall asleep, then when i put him into his stroller, he starts crying. so loudly. then i carry him, he just don't want to stop crying. end up i tell my husband, we have to go home. the ppl in the mall all looking at us. haha..

no choice my baby is like this, all i can do is to wait him grow, hope he will get better. :) i am sure your baby oso will be better soon, just a matter of time... enjoy motherhood :D

Ok I guess what he is going thru is normal...i have tried everything when he is fussy. Burp, change diapers, cuddle, talk, and lastly feeding. Last nite fed him so many times during the 2 hour period. Seems like he feed then sleep for 20 - 30 mins and wake up fuss again. And then this morning woke up at 6am and fuss till 9.30am. Guess this is what i have to go thru b4 he turns "normal".

ANyway i am glad to inform that for breastfeeding i am getting the hang of it. I manage to pump out more now, still not a lot but one breast can pump out 1.5 Oz so it is a major improvement to me and i am not so pressured by "no milk".

Another thing worrying me is my baby has jaundice. Last week sent him to hospital for phototheraphy for 2 nites and this week when we do his blood test, he is under the normal range but reading is near to the high side. Next week have to do the blood test again. Will this jaundice go away on its own? If yes, how long it takes? My paed told me that after the photo theraphy the jaundice should not come back again but when i saw his reading few days ago i am beginning to get worried that he mite have some other problems? Sigh, not easy to be a parent. Worry this and that.

Hope mummies can enlighten me on this. Baby is now 16 days old. I hope he don't have to be admitted again :(

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Hi. I think most of the bbs have their own "pattern". I m oso having the 1st bb now. I did my confinement at the confinement centre. Every moning I will send my bb back 2 my mom's house. Then nite after dinner at my mom's house I wil bring my bb back 2 my own house. The 1st few nites were ok. He sleeps soundly. But then my nitemare begin. He sleep a while then wakes up, then sleep the wakes up. This cont 4 a week. Sumtimes til 12pm. Sumtimes til 1pm. I was blur n dun know how 2 do. When I carry him, he sleep but when I put him down the bb cot he wil wakes up. I reali surrender. Cry dun know 4 wat reason. But now he quiet ok a bit. After I fetch him back home, I wil put him sleep at my bed 1st. Then when v wan 2 sleep then v put him back 2 the bb cot. Sumtimes not reali work. Then I gave him the pacifier. If stil canot the I wil swaddle him. Sumtimes he ok wif that but sumtimes he wil struggle 2 put out his hands. Haizz, no mater wat v have 2 b patience. Now I havent start work yet so stil can tahan but dun know how after I start 2 work if he dun kuai kuai at nite...

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today i cry again.

Seems like my baby don't favour my nipple anymore. Yesterday morning i had a massage session so i asked my husband to feed him via bottle (EBM). He fed baby for 3 consecutive feedings (2 hours each). After that whenever i put him to my nipple he will suck and then make noise like frustrated, his whole face red with anger or wat..then he will spit out the nipple. I try and try again. At nite from about 9 - 11pm he start his fussing and keep demanding to eat. He fed on my breast for 7 - 8 times, alternate breast each time. He will finish one about 10 - 15 mins then wen i put him down, within 5 mins he wake up and want to eat again. In the end no choice i have to feed him via bottle and then only he manage to sleep for 3.5 hours. This morning also he doesnt seem to want my nipple. Keep making those frustrated noise. I think because nipple flow is very slow compare to bottle?

Just now about 5 something and 7 something i breastfeed him and im pretty sure he dont have enuff but i played with him and manage to distract his attention. Now i worry later he want my breast for 7 - 8 times consecutively then i sure get fed up again. I can't afford to bottle feed him all the time because my EBM is not enough. If i pump every 3 hours (no feedings in between) i only get 2 ounce. Definately not enough for my son who eats every 2 hours and needs about 2 to 2.5 Oz. If this continues it looks like i have to give him formula which i am trying my best to avoid.

Susah.

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Hi. I think most of the bbs have their own "pattern". I m oso having the 1st bb now. I did my confinement at the confinement centre. Every moning I will send my bb back 2 my mom's house. Then nite after dinner at my mom's house I wil bring my bb back 2 my own house. The 1st few nites were ok. He sleeps soundly. But then my nitemare begin. He sleep a while then wakes up, then sleep the wakes up. This cont 4 a week. Sumtimes til 12pm. Sumtimes til 1pm. I was blur n dun know how 2 do. When I carry him, he sleep but when I put him down the bb cot he wil wakes up. I reali surrender. Cry dun know 4 wat reason. But now he quiet ok a bit. After I fetch him back home, I wil put him sleep at my bed 1st. Then when v wan 2 sleep then v put him back 2 the bb cot. Sumtimes not reali work. Then I gave him the pacifier. If stil canot the I wil swaddle him. Sumtimes he ok wif that but sumtimes he wil struggle 2 put out his hands. Haizz, no mater wat v have 2 b patience. Now I havent start work yet so stil can tahan but dun know how after I start 2 work if he dun kuai kuai at nite...

gingergurl, my baby oso the same, i dont have to describe again. his behaviour exactly the same as yours. cry for dunno what? everynite he will cry his lung out before we can make him sleep. i sing to him, talk to him, rock him, latch him on....every nite try all sort of methods to make him sleep. now my baby is 2mo++... nite time getting better, i dunno how, but i think majority babies are like that. we just need to be patient and let him grow. today we brought him to a shopping mall. when i carry him, he fall asleep, then when i put him into his stroller, he starts crying. so loudly. then i carry him, he just don't want to stop crying. end up i tell my husband, we have to go home. the ppl in the mall all looking at us. haha..

no choice my baby is like this, all i can do is to wait him grow, hope he will get better. :) i am sure your baby oso will be better soon, just a matter of time... enjoy motherhood :D

Really don't understand sometimes why they cry. And they cannot talk either. Can't wait for the days when they can tell us what they want. Right now we hv to guess. and its bad if you stay with other ppl and baby cry so loud until everyone come and see wats wrong...in 2 more weeks i will be looking after bb on my own. I dunno if i can survive. Mayb i will send to nanny b4 my maternity leave finish.....

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Seriously, when the day that they can talk comes, you will wish that they didn't because they'll talk back, say no, etc.

Told you already to avoid the bottle feeding. Sucking from breast is harder than sucking from bottle and the flow is faster. So you end up 1) teaching baby to be lazy, 2) pumping more to suit his intake coz flow is fast, baby drinks more, and will complain will you don't give him enough of milk.

Also, do some reading up on growth spurt. Possible that your baby is going through one. Stress from mummy and others is also another contributing factor. Instead of seeing your baby as a chore or burden you have to deal with, eg "How am I going to survive? OMIGOD, why cry all the time? Why must you cry? Torture me, etc" etc, try to look at things from your baby's perspective. Your baby is not out to get you or be a pain. Just a simple matter of trying to get their message across. Children and babies are like that. In other words, be a more understanding and patient mother. This is just the beginning. If you cannot get past this stage without breaking down, then forget about having more children.

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Yesterday BB vomit one time after bottle feeding. Previously he has suck on breast for 3 times at 10 - 15 mins. Did i overfeed him? But he cry wen i put him down and wen i carry him, his mouth like searching for my breast. That was why i gave him the bottle...

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Seriously, when the day that they can talk comes, you will wish that they didn't because they'll talk back, say no, etc.

Told you already to avoid the bottle feeding. Sucking from breast is harder than sucking from bottle and the flow is faster. So you end up 1) teaching baby to be lazy, 2) pumping more to suit his intake coz flow is fast, baby drinks more, and will complain will you don't give him enough of milk.

Also, do some reading up on growth spurt. Possible that your baby is going through one. Stress from mummy and others is also another contributing factor. Instead of seeing your baby as a chore or burden you have to deal with, eg "How am I going to survive? OMIGOD, why cry all the time? Why must you cry? Torture me, etc" etc, try to look at things from your baby's perspective. Your baby is not out to get you or be a pain. Just a simple matter of trying to get their message across. Children and babies are like that. In other words, be a more understanding and patient mother. This is just the beginning. If you cannot get past this stage without breaking down, then forget about having more children.

Trust me, having more children is the last thing on my mind now. I try everyday to be understanding and patient but sometimes when they cry non-stop and u do not know what they want, just feel frustrated.

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Girl, I don't mean to sound cruel but as you can see, ALL of us have been through it - some more than once. So really, you are not alone. Susah or not, that is YOUR child and no one else's. All we can do is share and suggest. We can't solve your problems for you. At the end of the day, it's still up to you to make a difference and look at it positively.

Why give yourself so little credit? Why beat yourself up trying to live to other people's expectations like your MIL? Shouldn't your focus be on your little one and trying to get to know him instead of seeing him as a burden?

No one here is born knowing how to deal with children - we all have to start somewhere but the important thing is that we learn to adapt, quit complaining so much and well, adjust.

If and when you feel frustrated, put your baby down, leave the room for five minutes to take a deep breath. Imagine in your mind that your child is mumbling and grumbling non-stop and you can't do anything about it. After all, all the whining and winging becomes annoying right? So we learn to tune it out. Same thing - instead of getting all frustrated, crying and all...which adds to baby's stress, tell yourself that baby is communicating in their own way. Sometimes they just want to cry out their frustration and am not looking for solutions or answers.

Being a parent is not just about solving your child's problems but just being there even though it means them screaming in your ears non-stop and you just listening.

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agree with mei... gurl... noticed from ur previos message that u r considering to send bb to nanny b4 ur maternity leave... how I wish my maternity leave never ending and extend as long as it could.... though once i hv same fussy bb as urs during my first 2 mth... trust me... U will survive even without CL... without mil... without own mom helping... just u and bb.... my CL sent off (sent off is rather nice word... in fact is 'chase away' ...) by us during my 3rd week of confinement.... as a first time mummy.... I am kinda plain paper at first take care bb on my own... but thank god I pull it thru.... my bb is 3mth+ now and he is not as fussy as previous.... (okay... sometimes still make small fuss lar, aiya baby ma.... eat, sleep, shit, and CRY... normal lar...) when he crying for nothing.. just take it as singing.... those beside de keh poh chee whom always rush into ur room but didt help much ... just ignore them.

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agree with mei... gurl... noticed from ur previos message that u r considering to send bb to nanny b4 ur maternity leave... how I wish my maternity leave never ending and extend as long as it could.... though once i hv same fussy bb as urs during my first 2 mth... trust me... U will survive even without CL... without mil... without own mom helping... just u and bb.... my CL sent off (sent off is rather nice word... in fact is 'chase away' ...) by us during my 3rd week of confinement.... as a first time mummy.... I am kinda plain paper at first take care bb on my own... but thank god I pull it thru.... my bb is 3mth+ now and he is not as fussy as previous.... (okay... sometimes still make small fuss lar, aiya baby ma.... eat, sleep, shit, and CRY... normal lar...) when he crying for nothing.. just take it as singing.... those beside de keh poh chee whom always rush into ur room but didt help much ... just ignore them.

I scared i cannot cope if i am alone with bb especially wen he cry non-stop...i know this makes me sound like a bad mother but seems like alot of things also i dunno and everyday learning.

Girl, I don't mean to sound cruel but as you can see, ALL of us have been through it - some more than once. So really, you are not alone. Susah or not, that is YOUR child and no one else's. All we can do is share and suggest. We can't solve your problems for you. At the end of the day, it's still up to you to make a difference and look at it positively.

Why give yourself so little credit? Why beat yourself up trying to live to other people's expectations like your MIL? Shouldn't your focus be on your little one and trying to get to know him instead of seeing him as a burden?

No one here is born knowing how to deal with children - we all have to start somewhere but the important thing is that we learn to adapt, quit complaining so much and well, adjust.

If and when you feel frustrated, put your baby down, leave the room for five minutes to take a deep breath. Imagine in your mind that your child is mumbling and grumbling non-stop and you can't do anything about it. After all, all the whining and winging becomes annoying right? So we learn to tune it out. Same thing - instead of getting all frustrated, crying and all...which adds to baby's stress, tell yourself that baby is communicating in their own way. Sometimes they just want to cry out their frustration and am not looking for solutions or answers.

Being a parent is not just about solving your child's problems but just being there even though it means them screaming in your ears non-stop and you just listening.

Yes, I need to know if other mummies out there is experiencing the same thing as me and with all the replies here, it actually makes me feel better. Being first time mommy is relli hard because I never expected this. I do not know how to deal with a crying baby no matter what my friends or family has adviced or prepared me for. I feel like a failure sometimes and it seems this is the hardest thing i have to do in life.

Please don't get me wrong, i don't think my son is a burden at all. In fact i love him to bits. I just would like to know why he cries, what has happened to him, is he sick or how can i help him. I have done all i can to try to subdue him but sometimes he juz continue to cry. Perhaps he is going thru the growth spurt now, as he nurse every hour but only one side breast. After your advice to read up on that, i feel more calm because u see i don't understand why my baby needs to nurse every hour while others can sleep for 3 hours straight. I guess i am over worried for my bb because everything i want the best for him.

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I came across this while googling for growth spurts. My baby's behaviour is definately like this:

Cluster feeding, also called bunch feeding, is when babies space feeding closer together at certain times of the day and go longer between feedings at other times. This is very common, and often occurs in the evenings. It's often -but not always- followed by a longer sleep period than usual: baby may be "tanking up" before a long sleep. For example, your baby may nurse every hour (or even constantly) between 6 and 10 PM, then have a longish stretch of sleep at night - baby may even sleep all night.

Cluster feeding often coincides with your baby's fussy time. Baby will nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry, nurse a few minutes, pull off, fuss/cry... on and on... for hours. This can be VERY frustrating, and mom starts wondering if baby is getting enough milk, if something she is eating is bothering baby, if EVERYTHING she is doing is bothering baby... It can really ruin your confidence, particularly if there is someone else around asking the same questions (your mother, your husband, your mother-in-law).

This behavior is NORMAL! It has nothing to do with your breastmilk or your mothering. If baby is happy the rest of the day, and baby doesn't seem to be in pain (as with colic) during the fussy time - just keep trying to soothe your baby and don't beat yourself up about the cause. Let baby nurse as long and as often as he will. Recruit dad (or another helper) to bring you food/drink and fetch things (book/remote/phone/etc.) while you are nursing and holding baby.

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Girl.. My advice is make google n this forum ur best frens. All 1st time mums gave birth not knowing anything abt taking care of babies and its a new lesson everyday. I have a fren who put on her fb status everyday complaining abt her baby crying, torturing her and all of us behind her commenting why the hell give birth then? Many things that are happening to 1st time mums are unexpected but I'm sure we shud have set some kinda expectation that its not easy being a mum right?

Really.. All these are unavoidable.. So remain positive n enjoy it! Enjoy breastfeeding.. It helps to calm u and make u happy. I love breastfeeding my girl cos I know this is something only I can provide to her.. Something we both share. I'm going back to work in 2 days n I'm already missing the breastfeeding part!

As for vomit.. Its normal as long as baby doesn't appear to be disturbed, or baby doesn't vomit few times in 24 hours. My girl vomits in large volumn every other day, a happy spitter.

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Girl.. My advice is make google n this forum ur best frens. All 1st time mums gave birth not knowing anything abt taking care of babies and its a new lesson everyday. I have a fren who put on her fb status everyday complaining abt her baby crying, torturing her and all of us behind her commenting why the hell give birth then? Many things that are happening to 1st time mums are unexpected but I'm sure we shud have set some kinda expectation that its not easy being a mum right?

Really.. All these are unavoidable.. So remain positive n enjoy it! Enjoy breastfeeding.. It helps to calm u and make u happy. I love breastfeeding my girl cos I know this is something only I can provide to her.. Something we both share. I'm going back to work in 2 days n I'm already missing the breastfeeding part!

As for vomit.. Its normal as long as baby doesn't appear to be disturbed, or baby doesn't vomit few times in 24 hours. My girl vomits in large volumn every other day, a happy spitter.

Hi Mermyz, It really helps to calm me when other mummies share the same experiences as mine so at least i know my boy is not abnormal :) So far he has not vomit again juz yesterday nite which relli shocked me. I must hv overfed him.

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My advice: STOP bottle feeding until you're ready to go back to work. If you bottle feed right now, your baby might end up rejecting your boob then you'll have to work extra hard to pump out milk, wash all the bottles, heat up the milk in the middle of the night to feed your baby, etc.

Direct feeding is ENOUGH for him. Your body will produce enough milk for your baby and your baby will know when to stop sucking milk. when he's full. After direct feeding, there's no need to bottle feed again.

Yes, it's normal for your baby to feed every hour at times. There were times when my baby wanted milk every 45 mins. The best way to manage this is to just sleep when he does and wake up when he does.

You also sound like you need a break. Is it possible to ask someone to look after your baby for you for 2 - 3 hours so you can go out for some fresh air? Just do something that you like away from your baby?

I can still remember the moment my baby could bottle feed (around 6 weeks), hubby very generously looked after him for 3hrs while I went out shopping by myself. Yes, I did feel guilty for leaving my baby alone and yes, also felt double guilty at feeling happy (crazy right?) but the short break did me a lot of good and I felt more refreshed.

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gingergurl, y dun u try 2 swaddle him? During my confinement time, the nanny at the confinement centre swaddle the bb. They say this wil make the bb sleeps better. After I came back home I tried few times but then I give up cos my bb wil cry. But now I start back cos my bb quite fussy rite now. Sumtimes I regret y I dun cont after I came back home. I pity my bb but wat 2 do. Actuali I didnt know bout this "swaddle" things. This "swaddle" cloths u can buy at the bb's shop. V can only swaddle our bb from the 1st mth til 3 mths nia. So I stil have 1 mths 2 go. But everytime I swaddle him he can sleep for more than 5 hours.If I dun swaddle him, then his hands n legs wil kick here n there. My bb was so active even in my tummy. But if u wan 2 swaddle, I think better u sleep wif air-cond on lo. If not scare the bb wil feels hot n canot sleep oso lo.

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gingergurl - you are not lacking in any way as a mother. We all were a first-time-mother at one point of life, so were our moms, grandmoms and everyone else. The fact that u are taking time to seek help from this forum shows how good a mother you are. It helps in sharing and seeking help from others. Forums like this can be a great support for people like us in this situation, when we only hv MIL, mom or CL giving advices and ideas. Taking opinion from similar generation and age group is really different.

I had my mom and mil during confinement, but hubby and i took most of the baby care in our own hands, cos we need to learn and know our baby's personality. IT was definitely not easy... 1st 2 mths baby just behaves so difficult and different... only after he got his nap/sleep/feeding routines we actually felt easier in babycare.. however the challenge does not stop there.. after that comes solid feeding, toddlerhood, etc... the right thing to do now is dont stress, take it up as it comes, and dont be afraid to seek help if needed.

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