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leongal

Do u feel happy when u visit ur in laws?

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I don't know, I think I only feel happy maybe one in 10 visits to my in laws. Each visit makes me feel depress. Is this only me or some others oso feeling the same?

Basically, it is the differences in "Family culture", their personalities and attitudes in life, the way they speak, they (siblings) competing/ comparing about their own partners/ money status/ having babies - are the main issues making me feel depress.

Yes, today is just another day I feeling depress..... :(

I always try to look at the positive side; but at the end, it often fails me.....just wonder, if i have tried hard enough.........

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i too wonder the same, have i tried enough?

like u, i dont quite get along with my ILs, neither do i enjoy myself visiting them or even being around them.. there are so many differences in lifestyle, language and culture. But since ive married my hubby, it makes me a part of them, and i just try to gel along.. i say 'try' cos its not usually that easy. The evil side of me dreads visiting them... and i know my hubby realises it... just need to tolerate la.. as how my hubby tolerates my family (no one is perfect after all)

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Same here, DREAD going back to his hometown. I constantly find ways to not go but sometimes can't help it so I'm just thankful that we only go for less than 24 hours coz of my baby. Dont think I can spend more time than that there.

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*hug hug* leongal,

I have the same feeling as u also. I think u hv comment on my thread that i wrote last time, u suggest me less frequent to In laws 's house. This will totally helps and work out. If you cant avoid to visit them, maybe u just cut short time duration. meaning more frequent but each time may only fews minutes only.

Another suggestion from my mummy is don ever listen, if you really listen then don follow, if follow surely u will become crazy or lost urself. She told me that, don care watever those ppl said. if you care. you will depress if you not reach their level.

When they compare or competing. u just say let it go naturally. My mum said we MUST train ourself till "百毒不侵“. My mum said if they wan to compare ask them compare with Sultan, Agong or Prime minister.

There are so many thing to compare,

baby : compare who learning thing fast,

kids or teens: compare how many 'A's in gov exam,

young ages: got degree or not, which uni, uni ranking

young ages start work: salary what position , what company, company benefit and bonus and so on

old ages : compare how many property or tenure u have,

nearly die : compare buy the grave already, high standard grave. watsover la.

.................

................

................

neverending comparing or competing.

don't care, just be urself. 知足常乐. Be happy.

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thanks for the advice people!

I have cut down my visit to 3 times a month - so, it is like one month i have one week off from them :(

still, most of the other times...i still have to bear with it.....i will stay tough

during my visits, i try to communicate less and ignore them when they start saying things that are rubbish and comparing one another (sometimes, it could be the case because they are less educated?)

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thanks for the advice people!

I have cut down my visit to 3 times a month - so, it is like one month i have one week off from them :(

still, most of the other times...i still have to bear with it.....i will stay tough

during my visits, i try to communicate less and ignore them when they start saying things that are rubbish and comparing one another (sometimes, it could be the case because they are less educated?)

I have the seem feeling like you. i hate their family gathering, or visit my inlaws every day when we go back for dinner! They like to compare me with my sis inlaw, and always saying sarcastic words to me. for their family gathering is like a show! even last time my sis inlaw ex bf gave her sexy lingers also my mil wants to show off! For them, if u got money they will treat u good, if no they will treat u like shit!

I was the same try to communicate less, ignore them, i dont care wat they think of me at all! they still saying esepcailly my mil would like to tell every one of her relatives: " i am very rude, always like to show face to her. never respect her! " come on, in this world, if u want ppl to respect you , you must respect ppl. no matter u are old or young!

it is not bcs of they are less educated! my bro inlaw and sis inlaw with high educate. but their action just like primary school kids. or even worst! My sis inlaw is " no money no honey" type ppl , so now still no body wants her! my bro inlaw is big talker, only his things are best, other ppls are bad. both of them are " gold digger", only talk to my parents inlaw when they want money! but they all with high income, but never give my parents inlaw a single cents!

so for my experiences, dont get touch with them as less as you can. still keep less communcaiton, ignore them. dont care what they talk about you or think about u. bcs watever how hard you try to please them they dont appreciate at all, they will still criticized you.

do focus on urself and ur own family! those kind of inlaw not worth us to waste our energy or effort to love them. i have been tried 12 yrs. even buying expensive gifts to them. end up still like this!

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passion fruits, dun ever spend money in buying goods for them. no matter how expensive the goods are they will nvr ever appreciate. cos you were borned by another mother...not by her..watever u do also not ngam.

so i nvr buy anything for my MIL..cos she nvr appreciate things...i bought home made cookies for her when we 1st met..she kept on asking when is the expiry date...and u know..home made cookies dun have any brand of watever..so she tot i bought fr pasar..

fr then onwards, i nvr bought her anything...i made her pay for her stuffs whenever she goes shopping..i will walk away..not paying for her..cos she nvr ever appreciate..

luckily i visit my in laws 2-3 times per yr...im so glad of that..last time they used to come to kl quite frequent...but since she shouted at me a day after my wedding...i din really talk to her...and i showed my face to her...

better dun come to kl...least mafan to layan her

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i'm better in terms of not visiting few times every month. sometimes i visit once a month, or even once in every 2 months or longer. but i too dread making the visit. i hate most is mil and sil kept talking about asking me to give birth to next, hate to hear it. yea culture and living style are totally different, and i can never adapt, or like their style.

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@passionfruit, i do think the description you said about your BIL and SIL are quite similar to mine; sometimes, I wonder why they want to make people unhappy or say things that dont go thru their brains - is it because they dont have a meaning in life or they ownself not satisfied with their lives that they don't want others to be happy too

in laws, BIL and SIL - sometimes oredi cukup; worse, they like to include their aunty (which mean my aunty-in-law), which is super-arm with SIL; so it makes the situation even worse with her presence - compare us with her daughter (cousin in law) and worse suggest bad ideas to us (SIL,BIL and hubby) - I don't know what kind of elderly is this that teach bad! I told hubby I don't like this aunty joining our family lunch, but hubby has no control because FIL invites - so, have to bear with it

Worse thing when come to celebrations of father's day, monther's day, FIL bday or MIL bday - all happy to eat, but when come to contribution, most of the time, they try to sit with their arms folded - i always need to be the "bad" person to ask hubby to collect money from them.....

yes, if they want us to respect them, please respect us first!

@prettyhoney, i still buy them stuff, just a show of respect - like mooncakes and hamper for CNY, i done my duty, they don't like it - their problem; not like the SIL who didn't want to buy, then pretend in front MIL say "my hubby didn buy wor mum? is it ok? it is ok rite, u understand our financial situation?" but they can still afford to go clubbing and buying unnecessarily stuff, one biji orange oso can't afford? [this is something not related to me, but just can't stand their attitudes - which sometimes make me think, why do i need to do something to make them happy, but their own daughter can have everything without effort]

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In laws... Hard to deal & I have to watch every single thgs I did infront of them, every single words that i said must filter agn & agn before i blurted out.. Plus feel like they are watching me & they are thinking somethg about me in their mind everytime.. Makes me feel so uncomfortable everytime with them.. And the worst is I'll be spending my 2 months confinement 24hrs at my in law's house!!!!!! :dash2:

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Piggy, omg...do you have any alternative way? confinement will be the biggest clash between mils and dils. i could foresee that during my time, so i die die persuaded my hb that i wanted confinement at kl house instead of mil's house. i told him other reasons except 'i scared clash with yr mum'. but after the confinement, i went back mil's house, even the 2 short weeks, or less than that, i couldn't stand her at all.

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Piggy, omg...do you have any alternative way? confinement will be the biggest clash between mils and dils. i could foresee that during my time, so i die die persuaded my hb that i wanted confinement at kl house instead of mil's house. i told him other reasons except 'i scared clash with yr mum'. but after the confinement, i went back mil's house, even the 2 short weeks, or less than that, i couldn't stand her at all.

margarita90, i not dare to foresee anythg in that 2mths confinement.. My mil had arrange a CL to help her on this period so I have no idea how am i going to go thru this 2mths. Plan to just blind myself & stick to my BB. Sigh.. At first tot of going back to my mum's but too bad she duno anythg about confinement.. :dash2:

Really have to wish me luck d.. :sad:

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leongal, u know what my MIL said on the next day we married? She said Im "yap mun" to their family. hello? nowadays ppl dun say like tat...ppl say A & B get married...wah lao eh....wat she meant was ...i should layan her macam an empress...wtf? as she is so lazy she doesnt clean the house, nvr ever cook in her life as she claims herself as a working class lady in the small travel agency which is quiet most of the time, she spends her time watching stupid ancient chinese drama and she is expecting her sanpo to make her tea, cook breakfast for her all the time.

im very unhappy bout her lazy attitude

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leongal, u know what my MIL said on the next day we married? She said Im "yap mun" to their family. hello? nowadays ppl dun say like tat...ppl say A & B get married...wah lao eh....wat she meant was ...i should layan her macam an empress...wtf? as she is so lazy she doesnt clean the house, nvr ever cook in her life as she claims herself as a working class lady in the small travel agency which is quiet most of the time, she spends her time watching stupid ancient chinese drama and she is expecting her sanpo to make her tea, cook breakfast for her all the time.

im very unhappy bout her lazy attitude

that was wat happened during my confinement days too! I bought all the herbs for my confinement, but my greedy mil said one person eat all good food no " fair" for her own daughter. so the black & red date soup supports all for me to drink during confinement period, she gave my sil too, but me that is nothing hearty during that one month. But for my sil she started to pop out pimples, and canot passmovtion for a few days... haha.. that is funny past!

I am so pissed off my inlaws, they even not allow me to bring my bb for all the vacc, somemore only listen to my bil said. come on. the baby is mine and my husband one. not my bil, he not even married. he not even know what is important for newborn. or for babies!

My mil always told my sil find a rich man married then u dont need to work, every day can stay at luxury lifes. bcs my sil is very materialist. And my mil always compare her with me. always said i look ugly, come on i was a part time model before. she is much shorter without make up no one can even notes her. So during my wedding dinner that time, my mil told all the relatives and friends, her daughter is pretty and beautiful than her dil ( me) and her daughter is like miss malaysia!!! i almost sped out my food.

They are really brainless, I believe what they did, sure got some bad karma to them, as they do us, the universal are watching...for them that is selfish and insecure. bcs we are better than them.

So not matter wat we do, in their mind you are just outsider! they dont care , they just want to take all from you, and stingy to give it back to you.

We used to stay with my inlaw for the 1st a few yrs. My mil just like those taiwan drama, husband go to work, she start to torch me at home that time i was study my MBA. And they treat me like a thieve at their house by just stand at ur back watch wat you eat, watch wat you take. If i buy expensive fruits or food, they will swallow up everything without info me. If they buy , they will speak out: oh.. this and that are MINE things, no one can take!!!!

I was so regrate for my confinement time. bcs when my baby was crying every night. none of them come up to my room and help! and morning they just said oh ur baby so annoying, we canot sleep well.WTH! If i canot sleep well due to breastfeed every night. they said u deserved.

Now i am back to b full time mummy, as i found out my inlws are started to teach my 2 yrs old gal bad behavior. like calling: stupid mummy, stupid daddy! kick you dead! WTH they doing... even tell my baby ur mummy is bad, dont love your mummy. and always want to keep my gal with them! if they really take care of my gal i wont be so worried too. in the past 6 months b4 i stop working, my baby was taken care by my mil, she gain 1kg in 6 months. and her skin turn yellowish due to too much yellow food like pumpkin and carrot. her appetiate is really down, as she ate same food everyday for 6 months. now i quite my job just for a week. my gal fully under my care, she gain 1kg in a week!!!

See that are so much difference!!! they only care themself, Those ppl r really selfish.

BABE you are not alone! lets be strong!!!!! dont take their bad energy to our life! close ur ear protend u are deaf whenever the shit they are talking ! close ur eyes just protend u never seen it! that is was i did, whenever my inlaws complaints or make any noise, my mind is going somewhere else, i dont even know what they are talking... haha.. then i gave them a smile: finish? ok... bye i am going back with my baby!

that is the only way to do , bcs if u taken too much of the bad energy u will get depress. it is hard to do i know. i have been through this every day for past 10 yrs... for us to forgive and forget it is very hard, as we will think , why should we deserved this kind of treat???? but believe me, the cycle will be back to them too, if they have daughters! like my sis inlaw.and bro in.. bad karma now come to them too, my sil canot hock the big fish and she is in her 30yrs. my bil's so call gf dont want to married him even they are coohabbit for a few years. believe me god is watching this. all we suffers they will suffer it one day too!

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Yes, let us be strong ladies!

In laws should well understand that there are "karmas", what they do onto others, will fall back to them; for example: a MIL should actually treat their DIL better if they have daughters, given that their daughters have in laws too - and the daughter's in laws could also ill treat their daughter the same way they do onto their DILs....haha, complicated to understand, i guess - just to cheer everyone up before the weekend, i nit to meet them again :(

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...but since she shouted at me a day after my wedding

omg, i thought i was the only one with such a mental ex-mil. haha.

is yr mil from ipoh?

do they (in-laws) have a bit of money and not rich enough at the same time?

i think your mil and my ex-mil have one thing in common, too much "astro wah lai toi rich family saga, fighting for money and power in the family" hours clocked in.

educated or not, we all know, we have encountered our fair share of ridiculous comments/acts even by highly educated people.

what they are really lacking of, is respect for others.

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...but since she shouted at me a day after my wedding

omg, i thought i was the only one with such a mental ex-mil. haha.

is yr mil from ipoh?

do they (in-laws) have a bit of money and not rich enough at the same time?

i think your mil and my ex-mil have one thing in common, too much "astro wah lai toi rich family saga, fighting for money and power in the family" hours clocked in.

educated or not, we all know, we have encountered our fair share of ridiculous comments/acts even by highly educated people.

what they are really lacking of, is respect for others.

oh tinkerbelle, u are absolutely wrong. my MIL is not rich at all. She is abosultely poor in everything, including her mentality. I requested a gold necklace from her for my tea ceremony. U know wat? She asked money fr son to buy me a gold necklace. I found it ridiculously at 1st but din care bout too much. But on the tea ceremony day, I found she was wearing new gold bracelet, gold necklace, diamond rings, etc. Wtf? She requested money fr the son just to buy me a RM2k necklace while she spent her savings on her new accesories? I found her very very ridiculous!

My hubby and I were so regretted to announce our actual wedding date 8 months in advance. She resigned immediately and sitted at home for more than half a yr for the big day to come. Fine, I din really give a damn on it. But u know wat? I was very pissed off to know that she din even prepare her dress for the wedding dinner till a wk b4 our wedding. My BIL bought a new black shirt for the dinner <24hr b4 the dinner (As u know chinese din like black shirt on the big occasion). And she bought the gold necklace for me a wk b4 our tea ceremony.

I dun understand how she passed time at home without doing any housework (I doubt she cooked) for the past 8 months. Me the bride only started to take leave 2 days b4 our wedding. Somemore we were very bz settling in our new house tat time b4 our big day.

On the tea ceremony day, she told my mom she had no time to dye her hair and no time to paint her nails. U know wat? She painted her nails in the car while we were on the way to the bridal make up studio. Wtf?

My mom and my aunt were the one who organised everything for them. They bought the kuih and prepared the drinks for the guests during the tea ceremony. And she was the one blur blur standing there. looking at the ppl.

Plz refer to the my reply on the post so u will know y i dislike bout my MIL. She is a mess! thx everyone for listening

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leongal, u know what my MIL said on the next day we married? She said Im "yap mun" to their family. hello? nowadays ppl dun say like tat...ppl say A & B get married...wah lao eh....wat she meant was ...i should layan her macam an empress...wtf? as she is so lazy she doesnt clean the house, nvr ever cook in her life as she claims herself as a working class lady in the small travel agency which is quiet most of the time, she spends her time watching stupid ancient chinese drama and she is expecting her sanpo to make her tea, cook breakfast for her all the time.

im very unhappy bout her lazy attitude

that was wat happened during my confinement days too! I bought all the herbs for my confinement, but my greedy mil said one person eat all good food no " fair" for her own daughter. so the black & red date soup supports all for me to drink during confinement period, she gave my sil too, but me that is nothing hearty during that one month. But for my sil she started to pop out pimples, and canot passmovtion for a few days... haha.. that is funny past!

I am so pissed off my inlaws, they even not allow me to bring my bb for all the vacc, somemore only listen to my bil said. come on. the baby is mine and my husband one. not my bil, he not even married. he not even know what is important for newborn. or for babies!

My mil always told my sil find a rich man married then u dont need to work, every day can stay at luxury lifes. bcs my sil is very materialist. And my mil always compare her with me. always said i look ugly, come on i was a part time model before. she is much shorter without make up no one can even notes her. So during my wedding dinner that time, my mil told all the relatives and friends, her daughter is pretty and beautiful than her dil ( me) and her daughter is like miss malaysia!!! i almost sped out my food.

They are really brainless, I believe what they did, sure got some bad karma to them, as they do us, the universal are watching...for them that is selfish and insecure. bcs we are better than them.

So not matter wat we do, in their mind you are just outsider! they dont care , they just want to take all from you, and stingy to give it back to you.

We used to stay with my inlaw for the 1st a few yrs. My mil just like those taiwan drama, husband go to work, she start to torch me at home that time i was study my MBA. And they treat me like a thieve at their house by just stand at ur back watch wat you eat, watch wat you take. If i buy expensive fruits or food, they will swallow up everything without info me. If they buy , they will speak out: oh.. this and that are MINE things, no one can take!!!!

I was so regrate for my confinement time. bcs when my baby was crying every night. none of them come up to my room and help! and morning they just said oh ur baby so annoying, we canot sleep well.WTH! If i canot sleep well due to breastfeed every night. they said u deserved.

Now i am back to b full time mummy, as i found out my inlws are started to teach my 2 yrs old gal bad behavior. like calling: stupid mummy, stupid daddy! kick you dead! WTH they doing... even tell my baby ur mummy is bad, dont love your mummy. and always want to keep my gal with them! if they really take care of my gal i wont be so worried too. in the past 6 months b4 i stop working, my baby was taken care by my mil, she gain 1kg in 6 months. and her skin turn yellowish due to too much yellow food like pumpkin and carrot. her appetiate is really down, as she ate same food everyday for 6 months. now i quite my job just for a week. my gal fully under my care, she gain 1kg in a week!!!

See that are so much difference!!! they only care themself, Those ppl r really selfish.

BABE you are not alone! lets be strong!!!!! dont take their bad energy to our life! close ur ear protend u are deaf whenever the shit they are talking ! close ur eyes just protend u never seen it! that is was i did, whenever my inlaws complaints or make any noise, my mind is going somewhere else, i dont even know what they are talking... haha.. then i gave them a smile: finish? ok... bye i am going back with my baby!

that is the only way to do , bcs if u taken too much of the bad energy u will get depress. it is hard to do i know. i have been through this every day for past 10 yrs... for us to forgive and forget it is very hard, as we will think , why should we deserved this kind of treat???? but believe me, the cycle will be back to them too, if they have daughters! like my sis inlaw.and bro in.. bad karma now come to them too, my sil canot hock the big fish and she is in her 30yrs. my bil's so call gf dont want to married him even they are coohabbit for a few years. believe me god is watching this. all we suffers they will suffer it one day too!

To my dear passionfruits, Im so so sorry to see things happened around u. But u are a strong lady. Well, on the bright side, I shall be happy cos my MIL doesnt have a bad mouth. Cos she is mute most of the time. Their family is weird. They dun communicate. the only thing they said is "whats for dinner tonite? what time shall we go out for dinner?". full stop. No communication at home. Tats y she din know I ignored her cos I din talk to her much.

Yr MIL is absolutely a shallow bitch! I know u have a tough time with them for now. somemore ur baby is only 2 yrs old. Dun worry. Build up a strong bond in ur family. 5 yrs later, u will have more kids living happily with u. Kids know better who is the one who love them the most. By the time yr BIL and SIL are still staying single and awaiting for their big fish. And their lives will ended up living together with yr MIL. ARgh, what a happy family it will be. And they can bad mouth bout ppl till death.

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Hi prettyhoney,

Hahaha.... i 100% agreed with you... :biggrin: is true tht no need buy anything extra for them. Not mean tht we as DIL not respect them or wht, just tht is true that they don really appreciated it. Is true that in their heart, they will still think tht DIL is still a "outsider"... I don knw why they will think tht, but this is true.

Normally wht i will do is, in CNY, we will buy hamper for her. But i think this coming CNY we will not buy also coz those things in the hamper, she don really eat, and end up give to ppl :dash2:

So this coming CNY, i tell my hb, just gv ang pao la... i think this is better! And during her birthday, we will bring her go dinner. Other thn tht, i din buy her things.

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*Hugs*

So many bad responds... *cross fingers*

I think I'm rather lucky for now as I'm happy with my ILs family more than my own family. Basically, they love me more than my own family do. This is the thing that I've always confuse to be happy or sad. :wacko:

I didn't do much things at home. Basically, I do basic housework just like hanging clothes and folding clothes. Apart from that, no ironing, no cooking and no mopping floor or washing toilet for me. Once in awhile, washing dishes cause my mother in law has been lazy in cooking and we often having dinner outside. I did offered to cook but they refused, too much for cleaning they said :happy: I got my bonus to sleep most of the time after work and during the weekend....

I heard lot of things from friends about having hard time with the ILs. I cannot imagine if i don't even have my own family to support and my ILs family are not a caring person, how would I feel. Especially when you are having your first kid/newly born baby, elders tend to tell you what to do and they want you to follow the way they do despite of what doctor said or from whoever experiences.. they want you to listen to them. I haven't have my first kid yet after 2 years of married... and im a bit worried when i heard from my friends.... Does anyone experiences on that? Cause I'm planning to have a kid next year :blink:

Well... give and take. Sometimes, we kept things to ourselves just because we don't want our husbands/wives would have a hard time with their parent.... Respect to elders lor... I hope I won't feel depressed when the time come..

XOXO

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Hi prettyhoney,

Hahaha.... i 100% agreed with you... :biggrin: is true tht no need buy anything extra for them. Not mean tht we as DIL not respect them or wht, just tht is true that they don really appreciated it. Is true that in their heart, they will still think tht DIL is still a "outsider"... I don knw why they will think tht, but this is true.

Normally wht i will do is, in CNY, we will buy hamper for her. But i think this coming CNY we will not buy also coz those things in the hamper, she don really eat, and end up give to ppl :dash2:

So this coming CNY, i tell my hb, just gv ang pao la... i think this is better! And during her birthday, we will bring her go dinner. Other thn tht, i din buy her things.

dear apple tea, im so happy u totally understand my situation. my MIL doesnt appreciate anything fr us. well, when u bought something for her of course u expect some happy responds eg saying thank you with a smile. but u know whats the 1st thing she did when she received gifts? she checked the expiry date and the brand name. means wat? she is ready to throw this b4 opening up? this really pissed me off! thats y i gave up buying stuffs for her. my hubby will give her some money instead.

my mom does appreciate the things we bought. i still remember i bought her a RM2 headband for her bday when i was primary school and she was so surprised. u get what i mean? its not bout the price or brand of goods, its bout yr sincerity. my mom is tat kinda who prefer to see the whole gift to angpao. so b4 cny, i will definitely bring her to the supermarket and let her choose what she wants for the hamper. my hubby will pay for the goods and i will wrapped everything up in a hamper.

the things my mom bought is really what she wanted. eg bird nest, mushroom etc.

u know what my shallow MIL will buy when she goes for a trip? key chain! wth? i dun understand y she wanted keychain.she has loads of them since she bought different different typa keychains fr different stalls. and she doesnt use them at all. not like she has few houses or cars and she needs them. can u believe a 50++ yr old person spending money in this kinda unecessary stuff? she isnt a collector. she wanted to buy it cos its the cheapest gifts. in her mind, she spends RM2 on a souvenir rather than spending more bucks in other souvenirs eg local made bag etc.

my MIL treated me too much like her family. tats y she is expecting me the 'sanpou' to serve her like what the ancient chinese/taiwanese dramas show.

im always fuming when i talk bout my MIL. she is a loser.

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Hi prettyhoney,

Haha... not easy right being as a DIL... :tongue:

I think i understand what you trying to tell... all this feeling can only feel it after married. B4 married, i think the "DIL" position still not so strong created in MIL mind, they still take it easy. But after married, they will expect for something. I think is normal to most of the Chinese type of thinking MIL... maybe.

I will also feel tht my mum care about us (not only me but my hb too) more compare to my MIL. Whn we go out for dinner with my parents, not all the time they will let us pay. We are like take turns. This time we pay, next round my parents pay. But most of the time my parents pay for it coz they will said tht is ok, and want us save our money. But my MIL... haiz...never will happen lo... is always we have to pay... :sad:

Well, i am not try to say tht my MIL is wrong or we are stingy to buy MIL dinner. But is the care... My parents will always think on our side but my MIL not really... this actually make me a bit sad...

Well, anyway... I can understand my MIL situation... she is a single mum (FIL passed away long time ago) and the group of frens tht she mix around also all is 'aunty' (si nai) So is normal tht she will become like those aunty. I can just try my best to understand lo, but i just do wht i can lo...nothing extra.. :tongue:

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i think mil finally realise that her daughter's ignorance actually reflect badly on the family manners; the recent weekend, sil got told off in front of everyone for not buying anything for sil's mil and mil herself.....and told her what is "manners" all about....glad that she finally did that, but knowing sil's attitude- it will be a repeat in the future.....

@prettyhoney, i still buy them stuff, just a show of respect - like mooncakes and hamper for CNY, i done my duty, they don't like it - their problem; not like the SIL who didn't want to buy, then pretend in front MIL say "my hubby didn buy wor mum? is it ok? it is ok rite, u understand our financial situation?" but they can still afford to go clubbing and buying unnecessarily stuff, one biji orange oso can't afford? [this is something not related to me, but just can't stand their attitudes - which sometimes make me think, why do i need to do something to make them happy, but their own daughter can have everything without effort]

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It looks like there are many ladies in the same boat. Me too, is one of them. Learning how to get-along with my future in-laws is like a rocket science to me. We are just from entirely different planets. I could not make a single sense out of the things they do and the words that they say.

Visits to my future in-laws are not only unhappy sessions but most of the time, they turn out to be painful heartbreaking times. I always either ended up quarelling with my bf everytime after we visited his family or the ride back home behind the wheels would be one which is of pin-drop silence. This is because I have a bf who always defend and speak for his family, no matter they are right or wrong. Sometimes, it is just too much for me.

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