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YoungBride2Be

Go back parents house after married

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I just married few weeks ago, not yet a month. Almost everyday my mum will call me and ask, when i will back to visit her.

If i mentioned i will back during weekend, she will said come back earlier, she will prepare lunch and dinner also, which mean ask me eat dinner then only back.

After my mum called, my father will call and ask the same thing, if i said i will back on sunday, he will request us come back on saturday and overnight at their home. However our house just 50km apart, if go by highway, it just needed 1hour+ .

Due to this matter, my hubby not very happy cause he feel wasting time, he wish to do sth for himself during the weekend. Then he said to me that i shd let them know that i already married. Cannot back home so often.

What shd i do? Go back or not?

How often u go back ur parents n parents in law house after married?

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Due to this matter, my hubby not very happy cause he feel wasting time, he wish to do sth for himself during the weekend. Then he said to me that i shd let them know that i already married. Cannot back home so often.

What shd i do? Go back or not?

How often u go back ur parents n parents in law house after married?

If my husband tells me that I am not allowed to go back to my parents so often after married, I will be very very very offended and I will forbid him to visit his parents too.

For me, even if I'm married or not, my parents is still my parents. After married doesnt mean you are not allowed to go back to your parent's frequently.

I go back to my mom's place 4-5 times a week coz we stay close to each other. Sometimes go back for lunch. Sometimes just sit there and watch tv and sometimes pack dinner back to my place for my husband when I am lazy to cook... :blush:

Your parents may be missing you a lot and would like to see more of you. Remember, they won't be here forever. Please appreciate them while you still have the chance. Also, think of her happiness when she is preparing the meal for you... "wow, my daughter is coming back for dinner, what should I cook? Ohh i know I shall cook all her favourite dishes..", then she will go to get them from the market with your father and both of them happily prepares the food and wait for your arrival... I dunno whether that will be the scneario, but that is what I do when I invite my parents over for dinner.

Since it is only a 1hr+ journey, what is wrong for dropping by more frequently? If your husband would like to do his things over the weekend, maybe you can go back on your own? I always do that.

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i try not to visit my in laws too often but my hb and i do not forbid anyone to go home. so we usually go back separately unless for festivals or special occassion like birthday etc..

u are lucky cos it only takes 1hr+ drive to see ur parents, time wise and distance wise are lots easier to arrange. if u want to see them more often, why not? u can go back alone

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My hubby not forbid me from going back home, he just said he is busy with his thing and he already plan to do sth for the weekend. That's y, he feel wasting his time to go back home.

I not dare to drive alone.

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Why don't u arrange to go back on alternate weekends instead? This way, your hubby can make arrangements to do his stuff on the weekends which both of you are not going to your parents house.

Alternatively, if your parents miss you a lot, why don't you invite them over for the weekend on the weekends which you don't go back? This way, hubby gets to do his stuff & your parents also get to see you.

Other option is to pluck up your courage & drive back to your parents house alone. Try doing it during the day when it is bright & you are still fresh.

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i can understand your hubby's feelings; sometimes both husband and wife need time alone on weekends even though they are together every night - my case is the opposite of you, i visit my parents like once a month - either i go down to visit them or they come over to our place or we meet some where; while every week, we HAVE to go back in laws place to sleep (and i requested a week off for every month - which everytime, the MIL will nag and nag to my hubby for one week's missing) - how my hubby deal with it? - most of the time ignore - it is not that we don't want to meet them, but sometimes, we nit time off - doing things like we used to when we were dating

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i visit my parents 2-3 times a week and just 15-20 minutes drive distance. i'm sure ur parent miss u a lot and wanted to see u. try to arrange a visit wit ur husband when both of u are free. if he not willing then why last time b4 marry can always visit u? haha. somehow i have married 1 year plus but i still miss my own parents a lot now and feeling to back more.

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nicole'smum,

Thanks for your suggestions.

Why don't u arrange to go back on alternate weekends instead?

We just married few weeks ago. will think of alternate weekends or maybe once a month.

It is very hard to ask them come over ,

my father still working even though during weekend ,beside that, they also afraid to left their house empty with no one.

panda1020, I not dare to drive alone, even the way back home i also not really can recognize. If i drive i wil drive my hubby car, which he hope to spend some time for his car during the weekend

leongal,

I understand that he expect to do his own thing during the weekend and i ask him to go back. After this i should fixed a weekend of a month to go back home. hehe.

erinepink.csc

I so envy you can go back few times a weeks. stay so near to ur parents.

I am happy now. Cause I just went back my parents's house yesterday. They gave me a lot fruits which they plant themselves and ask me distribute to my PIL and BIL n wife. My mum have gave me some ingredients to cook during the weekday. hehe don't hv to go pasar. And erinepink, u r right, my mum really cook a lot. I ate till don't know that my stomach going to explode. hahaha.

We always feel happy when go back to our parents house, we can act freely but our partner will not feel so and they will act like a guest and behave. just same like we go to PIL 's house. :unsure: don know when only I or my hubby can go back each other in law house just like go back our own parents's house.

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glad to hear you are happy too! actually i back alternate days to my PIL and my own parents house is like one day i go my PIL house another day my parent house. so far quite ok but like u said cant act freely at PIL house. haha. i can feel ur parent feel very happy to see u back as prepare lots of things for u to eat and also bring back. even though we married already but in our parent's eye we still like their small children. how blissful right?

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that is a very happy feeling right.. somehow, i feel that i became closer to my parents after married. They are very thoughtful and always advice me what I should do when I am around my in laws house. Wherever they goes, they will get something back and ask me to pass it to my in laws. I bising my mom last time but she said that if she treat my in laws nice, she hope they (my in laws) will treat me nice too... everything she (my mom) do, she do it for me and that is a very touching feeling..

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YoungBride2Be,

Glad to know you are happy. Do enjoy your married newly wed status; yes, it is always difficult to adjust to married life at first (i'm sure your parents are also trying to adjust to having their daughter on weekends only). Don't worry, things will work out fine eventually; just remember to maintain good communication between you & hubby. Communication has been the only thing that kept me & hubby together throughout these years (we have plenty of "culture" differences between our families e.g my upbringing vs. his).

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I wish my parents are near. I have to drive 3 1/2 hours to see them and therefore I don't get to see them much. Work out a schedule with your husband. Make him understand that parents will not be with us for long and let us not regret that we have not spend enough time with them. But also balance and allocate time for each other as well - whether is to do things together or do it apart.

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How i wish i can stay near my parents.. Both of us need to fly only can see our parents.. I am envy those who can drive back during weekends.. sigh So far i only can meet my parents 3-4 times a year.. :((

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