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Need good marriage counselling contact, lawyer - Urgent!

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Posted · Report post

Hi,

I've been married for 14 years now. 11 years back, few months later after the marriage reception (was 24 years old then), his job was unstable, he was always at cyber caf├ęs and I started clubbing. 99% of my friends all partying and not married. He trusted me until I met someone. He went into depression, I gave him a hard time & I treated him with no respect. I was searching for love. I asked for a divorce (very firm) to be with that guy. He begged for me to stay. He told me he almost took his life. (I am very regretful for what I did to him until today & hated myself for the past 11 years). The stupid naive relationship of mine only lasted 3-4 months. I broke all contact with that guy after I realised how badly I have hurt my husband & needed to repair the damage I've done to him but I denied having intimacy with the guy. My husband was never happy with me since then, he does not trust me (he knows I'm still hiding something from him), screaming & yelling at me, released his frustration and anger on me. I begged for forgiveness. One year ago, I confessed to him about what I did 11 years back with that guy. He wants to know every detail and I told him. I know I should have confessed 11 years back but I was so afraid that he cannot take it then with his depression. We continue to live the same, he releasing his anger, frustration, yelling at me. All this happens when his depression attacks. I on the other hand, try to make him comfortable and continue to show my care and support. I am responsible for what I've done to him, I treat him really good and love him very much & appreciate him for giving us another chance to be together even though it was a very rough one, the past 11 years. I feel very drained and tired but I want to continue like this for our kids and I love him. As for him, he was living in hatred and anger of me. He cannot forgive, cannot forget & frequent nightmares even until today.

I gave him 3 beautiful kids (10y, 6y & 4y with mild autism, diagnosed Sep'13). I took good care of our kids all by myself with 2 helpers that my husband employed. Reason being two helpers is also to look after my old parents (mom that needed special care due to stroke & immobile). Our kids are very happy and cheerful. My husband lives like he is still bachelor, goes diving frequently to get some space away from home. He goes out until late at night with friends (supper, yamcha, swimming & badminton). He occupied most of his time outside even weekends. He is a trustworthy person, hence the freedom I gave him. I want him to be happy and move on.

Last night was a very sour night for me. My husband asked for a divorce. He say he needed a new chapter of life. He need a shelter in his heart, a soulmate. He doesn't want to go on with this marriage in deep sadness. He say he will continue to provide shelter & financial support for the 3 kids. I can have the custody of the kids. I am a working mom and do not know how to drive. I don't want a divorce, I don't know how long I can hang on! I don't have the confident if I can bring up the 3 kids alone especially my youngest son. My mental is very weak, I keep breaking down. I know he will find someone and eventually have a new family. What is going to happen to my kids if he stop supporting? Is it too much if I request for some of his assets to be transferred to my kids name so I feel more secure for them?

Why he doesn't want to divorce 11 years ago when we both have no kids?

Why he want to beg me to stay, and have kids, and now ask for divorce?

He blame me that his decision to divorce today, is because of my wrong doing last time

He say I should set him free, his 11 years was like hell. As for my 11 years with him, I'm on medication & seeing a psychiatrist, can't he see it.

I do not have savings and need to support my old parents

Can someone please tell me what I should do, where to start? How do I protect my kids for good.

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Posted · Report post

Have you contacted any experienced lawyer?

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