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Eve587

invitation card for combined wedding

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hello, just about to finalise the invi card printing but having lots of noise from my parents over their 'dissatisfactions' about the wording arrangement of the card.

It's a combined wedding but let me explain situation of our 'combined' wedding - i'm from near KL and my FH is from East Malaysia. The wedding dinner gonna be in KL. We are not having a dinner for the groom's side in East M'sia due to time constraint and his close relatives will be flying over to KL to attend wedding. His parents don't plan to invite their friends in KL, and they don't have a lot of friends in KL anyway. So, me & FH decided to call it a combined wedding. My parents said ok with the idea but deep down they think it should be the bride's side wedding for these reasons: we are nearer to KL, and we will have around 13 tables, groom's side around 3 tables.

So when my parents view the invitation's card preview, they were unhappy to see the groom's parents name first. they want to change to (for example)

Mr & Mrs xx(bride's parents)

and

Mr & Mrs yy (groom's parents)

cordially invite you to the wedding of

Miss A

to

Mr B

i feel a bit awkward with the arrangement they suggest....if it's gonna be the combined wedding i personally feel the groom's parents & groom's name should be first. if my parents want their name & mine to be first, it will look like i/the female side 'sek ju' or dominate, just what i feel...am i right? or else if the want their name first, just print it in the format as if the bride's side dinner and totally leave out the groom's parents name on top....i scare then might offend the groom's side since we all said it'll be a combined dinner.

I don't know what's the big fuss my parents want to put their name first. my dad said since we have more tables hence more relatives/friends, and so if we put the groom's parents name first, our relatives/friends will be shocked since they don't know the groom's parents. he said will be bettr to put bride's parents name first so when they receive invitation the know it's from the bride's parents. confusing..i don't know if i can accept his explanation lah...

have any of u encountered this proble before? what should i do? personnally i feel if we want to print it the combined way they groom's parents name & grooms should come first, or else just print as the format od bride's side dinner.

anysuggestions what to do? if my parents insist, is the format i've outlined above ok or does it look awkard? any of u have revceive invi card in the above format? please help...thanks!!

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hi eve 587,

i'm in the same situation as u...

i'm from kl n hubby from sarawak.... so in kl.... mostly is the bride side but my in law n hubby still got invite some frens n relatives..... so we just cant give them the bride's side invitation card...cos the frens n relatives also dunno my parent

so end up.... i come out with this format:

(groom name) & (bride name)

together with our parents

Mr. & Mrs. XXXX (groom's parent) & Mr. & Mrs. XXXX (bride's parent)

cordially invite ur presence ...........

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Hi samantha, my hubby also from sarawak...i think i've just convinced my parents to put the groom's parents name first...they didn't really object when i expleined, and say will get back to me tomorrow...fingers crossed. i thought about yr format before, but i know my paraents wouldn't accept that cos it's look like it'll be us(bride & groom) inviting and not them...i actually like yr format very much cos feel much cosier.

ei, i just saw that we are holding our our dinner at the same place...and mine is 1 week after yrs...what a coincidence! how's yr preparation? ?mine is slow but hopefully will get more done within the next 3 mths. sweating :)

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Ahh .. this is actually also happened to my friend. HB is from Sarikei and herself is from Kuching and Kuching's dinner are mainly for bride's side (25 tables) but also few tables (5 tables) for groom's side, so for the card .. they have separate printing.

For brides's side only her parents name there and from groom side, only his parents name. Well .. it works for them but I'm not sure for your case, maybe you can try to propose this if you think is ok for you.

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I heard from my mom once that some people will have 2 type of wordings. For groom's side, the wording in the wedding invitation cards are groom's parents first then come with the bride's parents name and vice versa. There are different meanings for the different wordings like: Groom's parents name first means they are hosting the dinner and if bride's parents name first means either they are hosting or the guests are invited by bride's side.

Some parents may want to follow the above but many didn't follow because it is quite mah fan and incur more expenses on invitation cards.

Hope this information helps!! :)

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Yea..if bride's parents' names come first, meaning it is host by the bride's family and vice versa. For me, the situation is - the dinner was hosted by my parents and me&hb. Meaning, my parents invited their friends and relatives, we invited our friends. So we did 2 set of cards... One is with bride's parents name first and the other one is with our name first...like what Samantha suggested. More clear rite? :D

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I heard from my mom once that some people will have 2 type of wordings. For groom's side, the wording in the wedding invitation cards are groom's parents first then come with the bride's parents name and vice versa. There are different meanings for the different wordings like: Groom's parents name first means they are hosting the dinner and if bride's parents name first means either they are hosting or the guests are invited by bride's side.

Some parents may want to follow the above but many didn't follow because it is quite mah fan and incur more expenses on invitation cards.

Hope this information helps!! :)

Ya. I also think like that. I've been working in a printing comp before and I used to arrange the wordings of wedding invitation cards for clients. We will only put the bride's parents name first if the bride family host the dinner. We need to becareful when typing this as some ppl really care about this.

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I got this from a site and there are suggested types of invitation etiquette if its a combined wedding or in their terms ,Bride and Groom's parents hosting

Check out here

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And btw mine was also a joint dinner but more of our friends and my hb's relatives. Our invitation wordings was along the line as samantha's so no issue there.

(groom name) & (bride name)

together with our parents

Mr. & Mrs. XXXX (groom's parent) & Mr. & Mrs. XXXX (bride's parent)

cordially invite ur presence ...........

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Hi,

I faced the similar issue as my HB from Penang and his side tumpang the KL dinner (3 tables also). Since both of us are funding the entire wedding, we make it OUR DINNER instead of the parents hosting it to avoid any argument over who's name should come forst.

Our wordings on invitation card:

On [proposal date]

He slipped a ring on her finger

And...

On [wedding date]

They will make a promise for life

You are invited to attend

the Wedding Reception to honor

the marriage of

[Name of Groom] and [Name of Bride]

at [Venue]

on [Time, Date]

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i oso did 2 sets of cards although its a combined wedding. regardless which side had more relatives and guests. so for the groom's wedding card, the groom's parents and groom's name is first and vice versa.

i had the same concept as you whereby the groom's side name should be first if its a combined dinner. but later i realise that it is unfair to the bride's side. cos regardless whether ur hubby and u are paying or whether bride or groom side is paying, it is after all both parent's are inviting to share their joy cos their children are getting married.

both groom and bride side dun know each other's wedding guests. so if u put the groom's side first, and the bride family give out the card, it would seem like the bride family is "kiam siap (stingy)" that they are not proud of their daughter's marriage to hold a separate dinner and vice versa. although it is combined wedding, technically, both parents are inviting and to be fair, both parent's name should be first but since it can't be done... the next best thing is to print separate cards.

anyway, this is my own personal experience. best would be to discuss with ur hubby and both ur parents to compromise on the best solution.

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Mine was combined dinner and our wedding cards wording was arranged by the wedding card house. The person in charged as us whether our dinner is combined or separate. We told her that our dinner is combined and she shown us the combined dinner wording where both of our parents names at the same row and come with our names.

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Mine also have a combined dinner... the wording was arrange by the card print company the both of our parents will be same row... at first, my parents ask why don't we print another set but after I explained that since this is combined wedding dinner and it's was costly if we print another set...at the end, my parent was accept my explaination and agrred with me....

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