16 replies to this topic

[philipjohnlau]

Hi , just wan to ask if sex is important in a relationship ?
Do you mind if your Hubby/Wife & Bf/gf do not have sex/oral with you?

Thanks

[meiteoh]

I know I would mind. I mean it's not the only thing we think of or need in our relationship but it does help build intimacy and strengthens an emotional bond between two people who are not related by blood.

At this stage in our lives, when HB and I are still young, yes, I'd think that there is something seriously wrong with our relationship or me/him if our sex life slows down to a halt or just loses its fizz - we are young and busy/stress is an excuse for both of us.

[Negisf]

i think sex really matters in a relationship especially in a marriage..
i mean how can a marriage survive n last if they don't practise sex?
I don't mean the marriage will collapse if they don't make love,
But sex it's a important drive in the couple's intimacy..

[berrymelon1437101]

Is this mean love will follow by make love? Love without make love cannot sustain the relationship?
Someone told me "if you love someone, you must show it by making it? I don't really agreed ler.. What's your ?

[jusco]

this is a bit subjective to everony... most of us will think that sex is part of a marriage.. or even couples.... that is one way for us to show each other the love we had for them. like kissing, holding hands, touching petting.. all this skin touch will bring out hormones that can bond two individual together... and surely sex will hlep ur relationship to last longer....

[chipsmore]

yep, agree w tat.

never giv tis a serious thought but ml does plays an important part in relationship. my ex, oso my 1st bf used to say, u will know if you love him/her by the instant you kisses. otherwise you will pull off and not proceed further. think tis applies more to gals than guys since most gals cant really ml w those they have no feelings with.

[lonelyguy77]

I really don't know how girls think on this matter.
just as a guy myself...I can only speak for myself.
I want to do it with my gf and up till now she's the only one I had ever make love with because I really love her.
making love with her gives me a feeling that we are "closest", most intimate and somehow can strengthen my bond with her emotionally.
these few months she's avoiding sex and it does gives me a "distant" feeling between us. My point of view is if a girl is willing to make love with a guy, it is proof that she is in love with him.

So I believe that sex is necessary to maintain a relationship.
(not to mention guys will start thinking of curi makan too if their sexual desire is not met. of course still depends on individual. I didn't even having to wait a month without sex. believe me....it's a very long month to wait!!!)

[cheesebun]

Hi,
My bf and I have been together for a year & marriage is in mind (in 1-2 yrs time). We both decided that we save sex till we get married, well the idea came from me and he respects my decision and agrees to wait till then. For the moment, we share intimacy by making out (kiss, hugs, touch etc) and lately he felt like he's getting bored with making out coz there's no climax to it (unlike making love) But at the same time, we can't go any further than that. Any advice on how we can continue our intimacy without sexual intercourse?

[uniquesoul]

Oops, never knew that there are still couples who maintain non-sexual r/ship till marriage. Would it be risky? A member here did the same but after married, found out that her HB has erectile dysfunctional. Not trying to scare you but some men just couldn't survive a sexless r/ship and they think sex is kinda important. True loves come even w/out sex. There are even men who gets a gf for the purpose of sex.

[Y.Brat]

Cheesebun: If your bf said its boring coz no climax to it, then you can give him some nice feeling by mast*rbating him [does this count as non-sexual intercourse]

Its just an excuse from him to say its boring.. Even with the simplest method of kissing, you can into the mood. With additional fantasy, you can even ejaculate / squirt without sexual intercourse.

[cheesebun]

Hi uniquesoul / Y.Brat, thanks for your replies.

We had a chat again over this topic and like I mentioned, it's actually me who want to wait till we get married and I'm glad he agreed. But he has his concerns (not ED though, well I think it's safe to say he does not have ED coz he was intimately involved in his past r/ship..so yeah..) His concerns is about our sexual compatibility.. And I didn't believe in such a thing, until recently bumped into malaysiabrides forum and reading different's people's experience and... it really open my mind about a lot of things (esp sex/intimacy as this ain't the topic you discuss openly somehow) so well... it seems like there is such a thing as sexual compatibility and he's concerned that he might not erm, satisfy me sexually?... Well, if you ask me, I always believe that it's something that could be worked out along the way.. I mean, be it sex or relationship, it's hard work to make it work for 2 person.. I don't know am I being naive or what.. But I'm still glad he willing to wait along with me :)

[uniquesoul]

No problem cheesebun, if he really loves u, he wouldn't mind to wait. And sex is not something significant which one couldn't live without.

[LeoCandice]

Some people enjoy nasi lemak without belachan... Some people ( us :P ) must have belachan... Some people want belachan occasionally... No right and wrong... whatever makes u happy!

[gal289]

LOL Babe...

What a way to describe this very sensitive issue.
*Salute*

I was a virgin until the wedding night... I mean afternoon. LOL We got busy very early.

Looking back it was the right choice. Waiting out until I felt I was ready. He did try to initiate it a few times before but I got so scared I couldn't stand to be near him.

But if a man is willing to wait, then he's really into the relationship and not just xxx all the time.

Some people enjoy nasi lemak without belachan... Some people ( us :P ) must have belachan... Some people want belachan occasionally... No right and wrong... whatever makes u happy!

[cheesebun]

uniquesoul, yeah, well at least I feel better after spilling it out here :)

LeoCandice, I told my bf about your "description" LOL we had a good laugh! Good one :)

gal289, ya exactly how I am feeling right now... I just don't think I'm all ready yet for it.. so yeah after our chat that day, now we're back on track and shall wait till wedding night... or afternoon hehe :P

Thank you all for your advice/message :)

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[janice201149]

Sex is an important way to show the sentiments and feelings to a specific person and that means good sex can also provide to a tighter bond between an individual and his partner.