Catholic Wedding

[athena 0]

Athena,

I guess it depends on the priest. But I think most wont. Giving out of the Holy Eucharist (communion) can also be done in a service, (like during my wedding), but there are certain other parts of a mass that are omitted which in turn makes it a service.

I think theres also the issue of Catholic & non christian wedding VERSUS Catholic & Non Catholic (protestant) wedding . I dunno whether the mass/service differs.

Hi Sharon

yes, this very much depends on the priest. As far the diocese is concern, the penang one has issued a blanket statement saying that only catholic couples are allowed a mass. Lucky for KL fellas, the priests are under the KL archdiocese. So most priests here are more flexible.

Giving out the holy eucharist is not the main concern really. The main concern was that the Sacrement of Holy Matrimony can only be administered if it is a mass. If it's a service, no sacrement :( that was the sad part for me. regardless of what,I am a Catholic, and I feel the church 'punished' me for marrying a Non!

[Piggiemily 0]

Girls, I recently encounter churches that ask very private questions like, "Are you a Virgin? If your not, you are not allowed to cover your face with a Veil while walking on the aisle. You will not be accompanied by your father but your hubby." This remark is from a Methodist Church both in Johor and Sarawak. Do not know if Catholic has such problems.

[Piggiemily 0]

Yup... was really surprise of this as well... i mean even catholics dont do this and i was wondering which part of the bible says a bride cant wear a veil walking down the aisle right? This are all man made ridiculous rules and claim they are holy people. SIgh...! Y only the bride gets punishment? What about the groom?

According to them they r doing this to discourage pre-marital sex. Groom's punishment is to walk down aisle with Bride instead Father of the bride.

[antbelle 0]

Hi All,

I'm very new to this and I hope you guys can help me. My wedding dinner date has been set on 28th September this year and I have not attend the CMPC course yet. Basically, I didn't know anything about it until few days ago when I visit this forum. My FH wasn't sure about the CMPC course details held in his church either but we are rushing for everything before the date. Can any one of you advise me how long was the CMPC course and what can we do?

Really need help....

[MacMac 0]

Hi antbelle,

I think the most direct way is to talk to the priest where both you and your FH are going to hold the wedding mass. Most churches have guidelines on what to do for marriage preparation, this includes how to register for the CMPC, how to collate all the necessary documents ( baptismal cert, etc) down to arranging for the priest to officiate your wedding.

Which part of Msia are you from? If you are from PJ-Kl areas, you can try St Francis Xavier @ Jalan Gasing- refer to their website, the marriage preparation process is pretty comprehensive on their website.

My fiance was trying to arrange for me to attend the CMPC in KL earlier this year, it seems that one of the schedule is held over weekend at a place near Genting...i thought that was quite refreshing to hold it up there.. However,I couldn't fit the schedule so i will be attending the weekend course in SG this coming Fri.

I am not sure how the CMPC is held in KL...but in SG, there are 2 types...the Engagement Encounter ( 3D2N weeknd stay-in for those who are tight with their schedule), EE for short and Marriage Prepartion Course ( MPC)...MPC is better since it's stretched over 6 weeks..you go to a presenting couple place on some of the weeks for sharing.

I think if you are attending the CMPC course in your church, it will be the longer version, perhaps few weeks. I remember Sharonpious mentioned in the earlier post that you need to register for the course as soon as possible because they take some time to get back to you on the availability slots.

Talk to the priest tmrw after Sunday Mass, just to get things moving... all the best

MacMac

[MacMac 0]

Hi antbelle,

I think the most direct way is to talk to the priest where both you and your FH are going to hold the wedding mass. Most churches have guidelines on what to do for marriage preparation, this includes how to register for the CMPC, how to collate all the necessary documents ( baptismal cert, etc) down to arranging for the priest to officiate your wedding.

Which part of Msia are you from? If you are from PJ-Kl areas, you can try St Francis Xavier @ Jalan Gasing- refer to their website, the marriage preparation process is pretty comprehensive on their website.

My fiance was trying to arrange for me to attend the CMPC in KL earlier this year, it seems that one of the schedule is held over weekend at a place near Genting...i thought that was quite refreshing to hold it up there.. However,I couldn't fit the schedule so i will be attending the weekend course in SG this coming Fri.

I am not sure how the CMPC is held in KL...but in SG, there are 2 types...the Engagement Encounter ( 3D2N weeknd stay-in for those who are tight with their schedule), EE for short and Marriage Prepartion Course ( MPC)...MPC is better since it's stretched over 6 weeks..you go to a presenting couple place on some of the weeks for sharing.

I think if you are attending the CMPC course in your church, it will be the longer version, perhaps few weeks. I remember Sharonpious mentioned in the earlier post that you need to register for the course as soon as possible because they take some time to get back to you on the available slots.

Talk to the priest tmrw after Sunday Mass, just to get things moving... all the best

MacMac

[antbelle 0]

Hi MacMac,

Thanks for your advice and reply. My FPIL talked to the Priest and gather all the forms for us already. The Priest said that we can still make it on time. It was the best news I get today....cheers!

[Piggiemily 0]

Well I have check with Catholic friends and they told me normal Marriage counselling takes 6 months and Baptism course takes 1 year.

[MacMac 0]

Hi Antbelle,

Glad to hear that you were able to get the forms. I am also looking forward to my CMPC this coming Fri.

Piggiemily, I think the 6 months could be the minimum period you need to inform the priest before hand when you decide to get married in a Catholic church...so as to get everything planned...I would think the course is shorter than that. Well, maybe the rest who have attended CMPC in Msia cna throw some lights on this.

MacMac

[stephy 0]

Hi,

i'm a christian but NON catholic & my bf is. He was saying all catholic marriage must starts with engagment. Is this a must ? Need somebody to enlighten me on this matter ..

Thnx

[MacMac 0]

Hi Stephy,

I am a Catholic but never heard before abt getting engaged in a formal way in the church, if that's what your bf meant by engagement.

But if he meant getting engaged for sometime before marriage, then it's quite normal. Be it you are a Catholic or non-believer, i think most couples are technically engaged for some period before they get married, don't you think so? As you get prepared for your marriage, that period will be your engagement.

To to the rest, I just want to share my good experience in attending marriage preparation course last weekend in Singapore- Engaged Encounter. It was very fulfilling for me and my partner because we really got down to the nitty-gritty aspects of marriage. I love the fact that we don't have to interact much with the rest but just to focus on each other.

Also I took the chance to ask the priest abt marriage btwn a Catholic and non-Catholic ( non-Christian), whether it will be a wedding mass or just wedding service. According to Canon Law, inter-faith marriage is always consider as a wedding service. However, some bishops do allow for wedding mass. Sometime eventhough the bishop allows, the priest performing the ceremony may not grant you wedding mass. So it really depends which area/countries you will be holding your church wedding

He said for Peninsular Malaysia, most archdiocese ( Johor/Melaka, KL, Penang) have agreed that it will always be a wedding service for inter-faith marriages. For SG, the Archbishop allows wedding mass to be performed for inter-faith marriages.

Sigh, which means i cannot have a wedding mass. Hmm..will try to ask the priest in KL to see whether he allows or not.

All in all, i really enjoyed myself during EE and encourage everyone who is preparing for marriage that you should go attend one of these courses. be it you are a Buddhist, Indian , Muslim, you should attend one of the marriage preparation course that caters to your need. Having said that, i must say that the EE course that I have attended, though it touches some aspect of Catholic faith, in all, the course content is universal to everyone. The mixed- faith couples are actually the majority in the course that I have attended.

yep! That's all from me.. Happy Good Friday ! ( you must be wondering i don't wish Happy Easter, well, without Good Friday, there won't be any Easter to celebrate) Happy Praying and Fasting

Adios

MacMac

[athena 0]

Girls, I recently encounter churches that ask very private questions like, "Are you a Virgin? If your not, you are not allowed to cover your face with a Veil while walking on the aisle. You will not be accompanied by your father but your hubby." This remark is from a Methodist Church both in Johor and Sarawak. Do not know if Catholic has such problems.

OMG!!!! this is sOOOOOo bad..regardless of what!!!!!!!

[stephy 0]

Hi Stephy,

I am a Catholic but never heard before abt getting engaged in a formal way in the church, if that's what your bf meant by engagement.

But if he meant getting engaged for sometime before marriage, then it's quite normal. Be it you are a Catholic or non-believer, i think most couples are technically engaged for some period before they get married, don't you think so? As you get prepared for your marriage, that period will be your engagement.

To to the rest, I just want to share my good experience in attending marriage preparation course last weekend in Singapore- Engaged Encounter. It was very fulfilling for me and my partner because we really got down to the nitty-gritty aspects of marriage. I love the fact that we don't have to interact much with the rest but just to focus on each other.

Also I took the chance to ask the priest abt marriage btwn a Catholic and non-Catholic ( non-Christian), whether it will be a wedding mass or just wedding service. According to Canon Law, inter-faith marriage is always consider as a wedding service. However, some bishops do allow for wedding mass. Sometime eventhough the bishop allows, the priest performing the ceremony may not grant you wedding mass. So it really depends which area/countries you will be holding your church wedding

He said for Peninsular Malaysia, most archdiocese ( Johor/Melaka, KL, Penang) have agreed that it will always be a wedding service for inter-faith marriages. For SG, the Archbishop allows wedding mass to be performed for inter-faith marriages.

Sigh, which means i cannot have a wedding mass. Hmm..will try to ask the priest in KL to see whether he allows or not.

All in all, i really enjoyed myself during EE and encourage everyone who is preparing for marriage that you should go attend one of these courses. be it you are a Buddhist, Indian , Muslim, you should attend one of the marriage preparation course that caters to your need. Having said that, i must say that the EE course that I have attended, though it touches some aspect of Catholic faith, in all, the course content is universal to everyone. The mixed- faith couples are actually the majority in the course that I have attended.

yep! That's all from me.. Happy Good Friday ! ( you must be wondering i don't wish Happy Easter, well, without Good Friday, there won't be any Easter to celebrate) Happy Praying and Fasting

Adios

MacMac

Hi Mac Mac,

Thnx for the info. Well, does catholic in east & west msia have different rules ? i supposed not ! well, i'm in kl & my bf is in swak, we're in LD rship. It's really abit difficult for us to plan for our future, furthermore i'm a non catholic ~ sigh <_<

i do agree that attending for that EE course is good for both of us. It's kindda funny when i browse thru some website on the rules for catholic wedding & i found out that during the engagement period both is not allow to stay together ? i wonder if all catholic couple still practise this for LD couple like me. If i would to attend, for sure it will be at his parish in swak, Guess chances of intensive course over the weekends will be...

[Mystique 0]

Hi,

Just wanna know whether the Registration of Marriage for Catholic weddings are o the same day we have the wedding mass or should we have the ROM on separate days? If separate days, how far/near the date must be from the day of church wedding? Anyone knows?

We plan to have our church wedding in Penang (but both of us are working in KL)..So wanna know what will be the procedure like..

Havent registered for CMPC/EE yet..

Kinda so blur now..HELP!!!

[MacMac 0]

Hi Stephy,

I was so busy the last 2 weeks that I could not reply to your questions.

I think East Malayisa will be under a different dioc.. You will have to check with the priest there to see whether they allowed wedding mass for you and your husband.

I understand your concern about staying together before the church wedding..Well, for a non-believer it makes no sense to adhere to the church's teaching on this issue particularly if you have ROM (husband and wife by civil law). However, in situation like this, I always think that the couple must talk and discuss. For Catholics, the church wedding will hold more meaning than the civil contract since you are only considered married in the eyes of God during the holy matrimony. I for one would want my FH to respect my faith and understand that i am only his wife when the priest pronouces us husband and wife.. To take another example, some chinese couples (other faith) would not consider staying together after ROM because they have not hold the chinese ceremony ( eg: they need to "zam cha' for the parents, and pray to their ancestors, etc). I guess every couples have to decide for themselves... My choice will be to wait for the church wedding...no hurries to jump into bed .so to speak :P

Mystique, I think for KL churches, only SFX and St John allows ROM to be on the same day as church wedding. Pls read earlier post, I think someone mentioned which church holds it on the same day. Since you are holding the wedding in Penang, better check with the priest there. The last time I spoke to a priest, he advised that the ROM date should not be too far apart from your church wedding..Also, not advisable to hold ROM first before registering with priest for church wedding, particularly for couples of inter-faith marriage.Since the priest will need the interview the non-catholic spouse--just basically to get to know the couple.

Yea..go and sign up the marriage preparation course..you won't regret it.I enjoyed mine so much.

[stephy 0]

Hi MacMac,

It's ok, I was kindda busy too. Just came back frm S'wak again for Easter Holiday. KL no PH i gotta apply leave :(

Staying together or not is not really an issue for us. His concern is about the LD we're maintaining, we cant expect to be travelling meeting each other too often. Airasia dont seems to be that cheap afterall <_< That's y he was saying after the engagement, if possible we can stay together, then togetherness take our sweet time to attend the weekly EE & not in a weekend rush. It's also a good time for me to get used to the living over there. Somehow, he also not really adhere to some the church's teaching :P

Well, wat i can say is our family kindda open minded lar ... but still he have strong faith towards it. I understand the meaning of having chruch wedding, that's why he insisted to have a full mass wedding. For my parents, there's ok of be being converted to catholics, long as still a christian. Somehow, the doubts still in me coz i'm baptised in my faith.

Yeah yeah, these issue i guess it's only us is gonna iron it out.

[Mystique 0]

Hi Mac Mac,

Both of of were thinking whether should ROM 1st or not coz heard from his friends, if do ROM on same day as wedding day-very rushing.

Will speak to a priest in KL 1st as you've advised.

Was also juz informed by the priest in Penang, we can do a EE/CMPC in KL but all documents needed will need to be endorsed by the parish priest in KL and just submit all docs to Penang church for process:)

Praise the Lord, my FH just been baptised, received his 1st Holy Communion & Confirmation on Easter Vigil last Sat.

[Piggiemily 0]

Athena, Tell me about it... sigh... Regardless of what... their argument is to discourage pre marital sex...

[spinto 0]

Hi there!

I'm a newbie. Anyone has wedding service booklet for reference? Really need help. Thanks!

[athena 0]

Hi Spinto

I believe your parish priest should have a copy. or rather several copies.. which church are you going to?

[MacMac 0]

Hi All,

To all mixed marriage couples who wants to find out the difference between a wedding service and wedding mass ( I just clarify with my priest). The main difference is that there won't be any conscreation of host - Rite of Eucharist in a wedding service. I think some priests ask the couple to opt for wedding service because the non-catholic spouse/family may not come to appreciate the meaning of Eucharist. You still get to receive holy communion in a wedding service and a wedding service is still considered sacramental. Another reason why wedding service is suggested because of the shorter time invovled (well, not too short) since you do not have the Rite of Eucharist in the celebration. I would say wedding service is abt 45-50mins while a wedding mass is usually 1 hour.

Having said that, as a Catholic, it will be more meaningful to have a wedding mass instead of a wedding service because the Rite of Eucharist is still the highest form of worship. That's why some Catholic partners may want to opt for wedding mass instead of wedding service.

Hope this clarifies

Cheers

MacMac

[paprika 0]

Dear All,

Has anyone gotten married at the Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Puchong? How's the priest like? My FH is not a Catholic. I am but was from Johor previously. Have been church-hopping around but am hoping to make this Puchong church my permanent church since it's near to where I stay. What do you do when you visit the priest to ask about this matter? Also, we were actually staying together (we have just bought our nest).. will this affect anything? What will the counselling be about? Will they ask about any embarassing topics like sex? :P

Any comment and advice is greatly appreciated!!!

[dagaz 0]

hi paprika,

i'm not sure about msia as we took our course in Perth ( but getting married at SFX in Jan) but the course was really good and covered lots of topics, e.g. how to communicate, anger/understanding issues etc. I believe all courses will have a part re sex and intimacy, but will not be aimed at anyone or anything personal. Its quite general and serves to educate rather than to dictate or invade your privay. All in all, we had a really good time and discovered a lot re each other. We've already utilized some of tips and ways given, especially during the run up to the wedding, when stress levels are extremely high! Hope this has helped :)

[vintage 0]

hi all, hope can gimme some info regarding this. i'm not a catholic but my FH is. the thing is he's not the very pious type and he don't go to church at all on sundays. now his parents wants us to do a church wedding and he quite oblivious to the procedures. from reading this forum i'd already gathered quite a lot of information. i was uncomfy about the counselling program as i thought it was a program to 'catholicize' me. but after reading this thread i felt relieved. my FH told me we have 2 options... 1, do the 3 days course or 2, 6 months course. i was uncomfy about staying in a church. will there be other couples during the program or just both of us? also i'm scared about the teachings as i find myself easily cried even if i heard church songs. our AD is 6th June 2008 but we have done nothing yet. i feel i suddenly run out of time to do so much preparation

[janice 0]

hi all, hope can gimme some info regarding this. i'm not a catholic but my FH is. the thing is he's not the very pious type and he don't go to church at all on sundays. now his parents wants us to do a church wedding and he quite oblivious to the procedures. from reading this forum i'd already gathered quite a lot of information. i was uncomfy about the counselling program as i thought it was a program to 'catholicize' me. but after reading this thread i felt relieved. my FH told me we have 2 options... 1, do the 3 days course or 2, 6 months course. i was uncomfy about staying in a church. will there be other couples during the program or just both of us? also i'm scared about the teachings as i find myself easily cried even if i heard church songs. our AD is 6th June 2008 but we have done nothing yet. i feel i suddenly run out of time to do so much preparation

Hi all,

I am in quite similar situation as Vintage's. Though my FH's family are not very pious catholic and initially his mom said its up to us whether to do a church wedding or not, as time passed (within 2 months), it seems his parents are determined to get us into having a church wedding and a mass! Our initial plan is to have a garden reception in the hotel before our dinner banquet, but his mom said there is no such thing. She said we can't get the parish/reverant to go out of the church for the ceremony. Can someone please enlighten me? Can't we 'move' the church ceremony to elsewhere like garden or hotel's function room, to save time and efforts on our AD? We wish not to travel to so many locations within a day and drive my outstation/overseas guests all confused and tired.

I don't mind attending the counselling program or the teachings etc but what I am worried of is the pre-nupt interview. I only found out this pre-nupt thingy from the Assumption Church's website. May I know what is the pre-nupt interview all about? Making me promise to raise my kids as catholics? Sorry if I sound rude. I am a buddhist and have little knowledge on catholic christianity until now...

I am worried that my parents may not be comfortable with the idea of having a church wedding, esp. my dad. He might not be comfortable accompanying me down the aisle with all the attentions on us (he is shy ) or due to different religion reaons?

Can someone enlighten me?