Weaning is so hard to do ...

[chooz 0]

Tears are rolling in my eyes as I'm typing this ... I can't accept the fate that I may have to wean my baby from breastfeeding soon. It came sonner than what I've planned and I'm not EMOTIONALLY prepared for it :( In fact, I think I will never be mentally and emotionally prepared for THE day when my precious baby is forever "detached" from my breasts ... Boo hoo ~~ :(

I have planned to nurse my baby for as long as I could but unforseen circumstances disrupted my plan <_< My baby fell sick lately and lost his appetite. He's been rejecting his food and hence my breasts too. So as I wasn't able to nurse him as frequent as I used to, coupled with the fatique and stress of taking of a sick child, I find that my milk supply has decreased ... Boo hoo x 2 ~~ :( Not that I have lots of milk to begin with so now with the decrease I find myself could hardly yield anything at all when I try to pump last night and tonight! Which is a really bad sign that I might have to give up breastfeeding very very soon ...

Many of you must be thinking that it's most probably another case of the baby not willing to be weaned when you see the title of this thread. But it's NOT so in my case. It is actually ME, who is not willing to wean my baby. I've gone from hating and cursing whoever started this world wide advocate of breastfeeding (and hence made every mum including myself feel obliged to breastfeed <_< ) to actually embracing breastfeeding and enjoying it sometimes :)

I have formed a very strong emotional attachment to nursing my baby and it is this emotional attachment that I'm not ready to let go of. I hope someone could understand how I'm feeling. I've never dreamt that I would have built such a strong bond with breastfeeding as I've hated it from Day 1 and couldn't wait to finally able to not have to breastfeed anymore. And now, I'm "mourning" over the end of my breastfeeding journey? :o

And to make it worse, now I'm being forced to wean, it's not on my own terms! My biggest fear now is that I'm gonna miss breastfeeding my baby so much once I've weaned. Those nights lying on my bed comfortably, my favourite classical music in the air, with my precious little child in my arms, nursing him ... sharing the kind of bond that no one else in this world could share with him ... ALL these, is going to be HISTORY soon ... I could never ever, breastfeed my precious little Brandon ever again! :( Boo Hoo ~~ I am totally crushed! I'm going to miss all those precious moments .... :(

So please someone tell me, how can I make weaning easier and less "emotionally traumatising" to me?? HELP!

PS : The effects of my medication(drowsiness) has kicked in, I think my thinking and writing ability has impaired ... so I shall stop here ... I shall continue again if I have more to add... Zzzzz ....

[hazel 0]

Chooz, I do not know how you feel as I am not a mother yet but

I can feel how sad you are. Hugs.

[janicelly 0]

chooz,

i am sorry to hear this :( . please dont give up so easily! there are ways to build up your supply again but you gotta be determine & have to try very hard. any possibilities to see a lactation consultant? i have a contact in spore somewhere. if you really wanna try to build up your supply again, let me know. i will dig more info for you.

[chooz 0]

hazel,

Thanks for the huggie ... just what I most needed now ...

janicelly,

Thank you so much for your concern, you're such a great friend! *HUGZ* Of course I wouldn't want to miss the chance of building up my supply again! Anything, anyone or any information that could help would be greatly appreciated. But is it still possible to build back the supply once it has declined? Today I checked Brandon's poo poo, it was filled with "yellowish seeds" (Apologies if this part is too gross for those who are reading ) which is a strong indication of digested breast milk right? I was quite surprised and delighted in finding that, because I thought Brandon has not been nursed much for the past few days.

I just hope that Brandon can be cooperative and resume sucking as much as before. And with that, I hope my supply can come back ... Actually, I have planned to breastfeed for 6 months only initially but after 7 months + now, I find that I'm too "attached" to breastfeeding my baby. It's actually all about my stated of mind, I'm not ready to "let go" :( Bradon would be more than happy to quit coz he has always preferred the bottle which never fail to keep him full. He has lost interest in my breast milk long time ago! It's ME, I'm the stubborn and resilient one who keeps forcing him and coaxing him to latch on!

I was hoping that mummies who have already weaned their baby could come forward and share their experience ... and tell me if they have ever regretted weaning their babies at that point they did or if they ever miss breastfeeding once they've stopped ...

[janicelly 0]

hi chooz,

it is possible to build up your supply again but you have to be very very determine & have to work very hard. i've included some links for you to read. hope it'll help.

Increasing Low Milk Supply - here

Relactation - here (i am not sure whether you still lactating or not, that's why i included this link. please note if relactating, it's NOT easy)

Weaning From Formula Supplements - here (hope you can fully breastfeed, hehehehe)

the following websites have lots of info where you can read :-

http://www.kellymom.com/index.html

http://www.llli.org/resources/assistance.html?m=0,0

the contact i manage to find is :-

Singapore Breastfeeding Support Group

96 Waterloo Street, #02-04 SCWO Centre

Singapore

187967

Tel : +65 6337 0508

taking fenugreek tablets helps too. over here in malaysia, the place we can purchase is GNC pharmacy. not too sure about singapore.

and as the last resort, there is medication you can take to increase your supply. i think you can check with your obgyn about this.

good luck & gambate!!!!!!

p/s i am not an expert but hope what i share will be able to help you.

[chooz 0]

janicelly,

What can I say? YOU'RE SUCH AN ANGEL!! To say that you're being helpful is an understatement! ;)

I'm going to read up on the links that you send me tonight :) However, I think I don't need to re-lactate yet (Thank GOD!). Brandon's appetite has returned and he's sucking away now! I'm so happy! I'm not sure if I'm imagining things or not, since he has resumed sucking, I find that my breast milk supply slowly returning to the level before he fell sick. I just hope I'm not imagining things ... but one thing's for sure, it's NOT yet the end of my breastfeeding journey :P

Thanks for looking up the contact for me :) Actually, I've contacted one of the Breastfeeding support group in SG during my confinement and I was being introduced to fenugreek also. In fact, the told me for fenugreek, it's better to go for the tea leaves than the tablets as the former gives better result. I was drinking the fenugreek tea religiously, with many many cups per day and I must say it did help to increase the supply by say 20 to 30% maybe. I've also tried the milkmaid tea, got it from bebehaus in 1U but I find the fenugreek gives slightly better result ;) But unfortunately, I've slack off a while ago and stopped drinking the tea since I've finished my last packet Don't think I'd want to purchase the tea again since I plan to wean Brandon at 8 or 9 months.

As for those medication to increase breast milk, I've also taken before, from 2 different specialist but all did not managed to help at all :( Long time given up on those medication already.

Ah well, I'm not complaining now as long as Brandon is cooperative enough to latch on Just let nature takes its course la ;)

However, I'm more worried about the emotional effects on me when I weaned my baby ... So still hoping that mummies who had weaned their babies could share their experience and thoughts.

Janice, no matter what ... I'm very very thankful and appreciative of your taking time and effort to look up infomation for me :)

[janicelly 0]

chooz,

i am so happy to hear this!!!! i dont think you are imagining things cos demand = supply, remember.

i didnt know can get fenugreek in tea leaves form (learn new thing!). wonder whether it's available here or not......

anyway, i am glad you manage to nurse brandon again . i didnt do much la, just a few clicks here & there.

we gambate together!!!!

[chooz 0]

janicelly,

Thanks! *hugz* :)

Yes, fenugreek comes in tea leaves also and apparently they give better result than the tablet form. But I don't think you really need that as you're able to nurse baby Zhi Ting exclusively right? I am so envious lei ... Sometimes I'd feel like a failure as my baby has to depend heavily on formula :(

But I'm still persevering and try my best lah ... like you said, lets gambate together! ;)

[vIv 0]

I totally understand how you feel Chooz. I just been through all those like 3 weeks ago after nursing her for 19 months.... It was me who couldn't get away from the bond easily. I was surprised that Naomi took it very well. She cried for the first 2 days and was ok after that. I cried for so many nights because my girl does not need my breast anymore. It was heartbreaking to see her cry to be nursed. I have no choice but to quit as both my nipples are just too sore to be nursed, they were cracked and it was just too painful.

I am glad she is taking milk powder well now.... it took me 2 weeks to get over the sad feeling....

you have done you best. That's good enough.

[janicelly 0]

chooz,

i agree with viv lo, like she said you have done your best, dont be too hard on yourself.