Plan for honeymoon wedding

[jesyws 0]

we are planning to go for honeymoon wedding and to avoid AD. Wanted to know the following still necessary?

1) All chinese tradtional thingys?

2) Morning ceremony?

2) If morning ceremoney necessary, shall we need to arrange dinner for relatives?

Or, we can just go for honeymoon withou anything above?

[jennpsw 0]

your parents are ok about it?

[kojiki 0]

hi jesyws,

my personal point of view is.. if you wanna follow morning session.. mean all ur relatives know u get married dy... and it will sound weird if you don hv AD dinner.. and some "outdated mind" relative will say u stingy lah, not respect lah, this lah that lah.. u know lah.. and one thing is... u urself dont like to follow those traditional thing? thought it's quite meaningful and can really experience the actual chinese way of married? for me.. honeymoon sure will go dy...but must let my wife experience the real married way.. so she won't blame me say no gone thru all thing.. haha..

[jesyws 0]

but my frends said though we go for honeymoon wedding but the morning session cannot miss. cos it's must for every new marriage wor. tat y i also confusing. arrange for morning session but no AD is weird. but i have no experience so also dunno wat to do.

[darlingangel 0]

I'm assuming a honeymoon wedding is similar to a destination wedding, where you have your wedding in the place where you want to honeymoon? And that you have very few people (usually family only, around 30+) attending?

If that's the case, I think it would still be ok to have the 'fetch the bride' even though it is from one hotel room to another. You can also include the tea ceremony too, if its only 30 or so relatives it would finish in no time. And you can have a dinner after that - after all you're only feeding 30 or so people. It probably wouldn't be a full 8 course dinner though.

But I wouldn't spend money to have another full 8 course dinner to celebrate my wedding with those who can't make it to the destination wedding - if they can't come, too bad.

[jesyws 0]

I'm assuming a honeymoon wedding is similar to a destination wedding, where you have your wedding in the place where you want to honeymoon? And that you have very few people (usually family only, around 30+) attending?

If that's the case, I think it would still be ok to have the 'fetch the bride' even though it is from one hotel room to another. You can also include the tea ceremony too, if its only 30 or so relatives it would finish in no time. And you can have a dinner after that - after all you're only feeding 30 or so people. It probably wouldn't be a full 8 course dinner though.

But I wouldn't spend money to have another full 8 course dinner to celebrate my wedding with those who can't make it to the destination wedding - if they can't come, too bad.

which mean tea ceremoney is "on" for small group of ppl which invited then have a dinner with them only?

[darlingangel 0]

I'll share my destination wedding plans with you... this was before my parents vetoed my plans and said I had to have one in Malaysia because my grandparents were too old to travel overseas.

I planned to have my destination wedding in Italy, in a beautiful country setting. I would only invite immediate relatives (grandparents, parents, direct uncles and aunties (mum and dad's siblings), and only very close cousins), and my best friends. All in all we'll have at most 50 people attending. They will pay for their own flights and accommodation, in return we will ask them not to give us any gifts or angpows as they would have paid a lot for accommodation and flights already - in short, their presence is our present!

I also spoke to some wedding planners there. What we would do is fly there 3 to 4 days before the wedding, to sort out some admin stuff, but most of the planning will be done via email and confirmed before we land.

On the day of the wedding, we will have a 'fetch the bride' (my mum insist this is compulsory) but will not have any door games. Because we're staying in the same villa it will just be as simple as going from the 'groom's room' to the 'bride's room' to pick up the bride. Then we will immediately have the bride's side tea ceremony. This is for relatives of the bride only, but our friends who we invite can be present as well.

Then once the bride's tea ceremony is over, we will go to the groom's room for the groom's side tea ceremony. Again we will only serve tea to relatives, but friends are welcome to join us.

After that we would have a simple lunch and rest while waiting for the evening ceremony. After the evening ceremony, we'll have some photos taken, then everyone will go to the villa's dining room for dinner. Everyone means whoever is in attendance (all the 50 or so people who came to Italy with us). This dinner will be paid by FH and me to thank the guests for coming to our wedding.

After this day (which is considered our AD and ROM), the guests are free to do whatever they want - they can either go sightseeing in Italy or Europe, or fly straight home. FH and me will continue on our honeymoon from there.

If the people we invite are unable to come to Italy, we will not be paying for another dinner for them when we get back to Malaysia. We might serve tea, as per custom, but definitely won't be throwing another dinner for them.

I actually like this plan because I wanted a very small wedding, instead of having so many guests - but what to do. My grandparents are very old and they want to see their eldest granddaughter get married the 'proper way' - so I have to take one for the team. I have a tiny bit of regret though, but I console myself - after all FH and I are going to Europe for our honeymoon so I can still have a tiny slice of Italy for my memories!

[jesyws 0]

Hi Darlingangel,

Wah, your wedding really spend a lot then, rite? It cost my relatives lot if i having wedding over other country....:)

hm...i think i will have brief morning ceremony and small AD for closed relatives and frens. But, dunno whether he is agreed or not. All is budget and time concern.

Sometimes, feel that this is once in a life so hope and have a memorable day but have to agree by both..is bit ......let talks first.

[beautifulgown 0]

jesyws,

Since your intention is a honeymoon wedding, then just skip the AD ceremony.

Pick a day, get both side parents for a makan and have the tea-ceremony at the restaurant/hotel, if you wanna involve your relatives too just add in few more tables for them. Either full 8 courses or buffet style is your choice. It is my opinion =)

[darlingangel 0]

It isn't any more expensive than having the usual AD dinner for 300 people, in my opinion. For me, having a destination wedding in Italy and inviting 50 people cost me about the same as having two dinners in Australia and Malaysia, for about 100 people per dinner.

Of course most of the cost is shifted to your guests because they are the ones paying for their own flight and accommodation. Think of it as a mini holiday for your guests - they can visit a new place and attend your wedding for one day. Win-win situation.

Still the best thing is to discuss with your FH - try to convince him that a destination wedding is a fantastic idea! Hope it all goes well for you.

[jesyws 0]

hi darlingangel & beautifulgown,

thanks for both advises.

i think i will go for tea ceremoney then have a small garden buffer style to serve my relatives and few of our best fren. but, hm...not sure whether he is agreeing o not. hope he willing to spend on it. since it is once in my life, i really hope it can be happened

[beautifulgown 0]

jesyws,

count the head, work out the budget I believe it can be done =)

[panda1020 0]

dont worry~You will be surprised that a lot of friends/ relatives won't find it fussy to travel long way to attend the wedding~ you dont have to do it somwhere very far~ a lot of people do it in Bali

check this out for destination wedding or you can buy the book in major bookstores like Borders.

http://www.journeysfortwo.com/dw.htm

[roseisrose 0]

we are planning to go for honeymoon wedding and to avoid AD. Wanted to know the following still necessary?

1) All chinese tradtional thingys?

2) Morning ceremony?

2) If morning ceremoney necessary, shall we need to arrange dinner for relatives?

Or, we can just go for honeymoon withou anything above?

this is awesome! did u do it in the end??

all you need to be wedded is just the signing of registration papers -- which can be done in a few seconds :)

other than that, provided your families are ok, can be scrapped

:)

[yan791 0]

yah