My AfFAIR LADY...

[chickmagnet 0]

I think this chickmagnet shame shame after seeing us scolding him......

chickmagnet, if your thread is true, sorry lah, I will WHACK you until you wake up. So young you can steal someone's wife already ! Both of you give me the impression of "gan fu yum fu". Sorry ya if I say this but I am really angry when I read this thread

Ya ya go ahead..gan fu yum fu rite.. We have no choice, we can't hide our feelings. It's just love..Simple as that.

[meiteoh 0]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for ur comments. Sure I'll be here updating you guys as from time to time. Just because I'm 24 and you all think that I'm not matured enough? That's a real bollock. I'm sure there are guys or married women out there are having the same predicament that I'm facing. Right now, I took the big step in breaking up with my gf and be there for the lady. She knows everything but I guess that's the risk I have to take. Even if I screw up, it's just parts and parcel in life.

I've been told by many ppl that I shall not do this, but this time, I think it's worth a chance. Screw logicness, I'm following my heart this time. I used to think that I shall have a certain criteria when looking for girls but now I realise, when you love someone, you don't need a reason at all. I don't wanna live with something that could fulfill you physically but not mentally or emotionally. What's the use of having everything (mind you my gf's criteria is way better the madam's) but what's the use when you're not satisfied emotionally.

I'm looking for something that's akin to 'innocent love', the kinda love where you don't care about your partner's physical but to love her no matter what happens to her. Something like love conquers all... That was what I felt when I see her. We don't need fancy restaurant and stuffs like that. Even simple gesture such as giving her a peck at the park means so much. If some of you have found this kinda feeling, then congrats to you. Well, some of you might just say it's bullshyt again. I clearly told her that there's no pressure on her part and she'll have her final decision whether to divorce or not. Just wait till 1 of these days where someone, or anyone here experience what is happening to me then you'll know.

.....

bro, even if you're married, that doesn't give you the license to say that you know what true love is..cmon, if not then why are people divorcing so often.. Everyone deserves a second chance. You think if a model were to offer herself to me, I might eat?! hell no..can you guarantee you would do the same thing too?? Can any of the ladies here guarantee that their hubby will do the same thing to? Cmon..think again..

Sure, we have found this feeling but at least we didn't have to do anything morally wrong when we're looking for it. At the end of the day, you just want someone to pat you on the back and tell you what a great job you've done. So really, there is no need to dish out the whole "we're in love, we have no choice, we can't help ourselves, people deserve second chances, it's not betrayal if we're both in love, blah, blah, blah" - please, don't shame the rest of us human beings with self-control and a brain. But to indulge you, I'll say it.

Good on you. You did well.

As for the comment directed to Andreww, I have this to say to you. I CAN GUARANTEE that my HB would never cheat on me. Why? Because I know him well enough to know what he feels about marriage and about me. Also, Andreww never said he knew what true love was; all he said was that he doubts you know it. It doesn't mean that he's the guru.

Anyway, you both deserve each other. Be happy.

[Andreww 0]

bro, even if you're married, that doesn't give you the license to say that you know what true love is..cmon, if not then why are people divorcing so often.. Everyone deserves a second chance. You think if a model were to offer herself to me, I might eat?! hell no..can you guarantee you would do the same thing too?? Can any of the ladies here guarantee that their hubby will do the same thing to? Cmon..think again..

So sorry, I did have someone offer herself to me...but I pass it...because I does not want to be a person like you. And I even told the other party no need to make your life till this kinda stage. Get a normal life is the best and not spoiled your own life and others. That's what I have to tell you.

For infromation I know is that for you, not a model you also eat already? what say you bro? You are young and I know you did not see and expose to this kinda stuff much..is very exciting for you. So I think all of us here will just have negitve thinking towards you. So I think about your updateds can keep it to yourself.

[meiteoh 0]

Oh, as for the other married men and women out there who are in the same shoes as you (helping someone cheat on their partners or cheating on their partners without having the decency or the guts to ask for a divorce FIRST), SHAME ON YOU!

[juvannise 0]

again chickmagnet, could u just let us know tat, what would u feel if u were the lady's husband?

i read what u said just now, true its not bullshit and we do heard all those from those in love but then, love is from your heart, love cant expressed out, 'love conquers all'??!?!? u know what.... i also used to have those feel.. you know when?!?! during my school time my dear... not to said that you are inmatured enough with the age of 24 but its your behaviour and attitude tat shows you are not matured enough..

let me shared you with an example of my friend. her gf was a daughter to a milionaire in msia while my fren is just a normal office worker works 5.5 days a week just to get some basic money to spend. well, this girl understand very very well and knew the consequences of being together where they will not have those high end rest or branded handbag or jewellery from others.... even can only go for hawker stall or normal dim sum shop in jalan ipoh instead of concorde hotel's, go for economy flight instead of business class flight that she normally had, she drives merc n my friend onli have a kembara. like u said, she should be prepared mentally about this right since she knew it from the start.

end up, its not the pressure from her family, not from others but this couple themselves which cant stand thru. she get used to have what she have in the past 10 years (mind u, her dad rich only 10 years ago). once in a while, she still opt to go to those high end rest once in a while but my friend have to fulfill her with lots of credit in his credit card. all this comes from his heart, like u said love conquers all.. but whats happened next - its the pressure that come build up when time goes by.

again, i'm no doubt u sounds love her. let her make the decision and tell u wat - curi makan outside is very exciting have her divorced first then oly u get together with her then she'll knew the consequences since right now she still been fulfilled physically by her husband and so called mentally and emotionally by u. good luck

[kellytangsl 0]

I TOTALLY CANNOT ACCEPT CHICKMAGNET'S REASON AND EXPLANATION.

what the hell, love is spark and chemistry???? what cause that spark and chemistry? hormone or enzyme?

Love is trust, responsibility, respect, care each other and know each other background clearly.

both of ur personality is cannot be trusted, never responsible and respect to your own partner.

you too young already, u not understand what is love. both of yours are selfish man. always care yourown feelings and dunno care each others.

KARMA??? do u think that god can accept your nonsense reason?

[honeylee 0]

chickmagnet,

i am 30 and married. i have a bro who is 24. either your madam is immatured or u r very matured. as i find my bro very immatured at 24. either you are too matured for your age for her to luv u, or she is too childish for he age to luv u.

i will advise u as if u r my brother. as for me, i dun think i will ever fall for someone younger, well, maybe 1-2 years can accept la. there is nothing wrong loving a older women or a younger man.

but since she is a madam and legally someone's wife, it's morally not right to let her husband wear the green hat. if u 2 truely luv each other, u need to respect other people also. Love is not 'tai sai'. think of her husband's feeling, think of your gf's feeling. imagine if u r a married man and ur wife does that behind u. how will u feel? u think u will say oh, she luvs him and he luvs her. it's true luv. nevermind, i dun mind to wear green hat?

things are easier said than done. u mentioned u dun need fancy restaurants. may i ask what kind of life she is living now? if she is living a lavish life now, can she get used to the simple life with u? she might say she can now, but when she really experienced it, it might not be as easy as that. in chinese there is a saying 'you qing he shui bao' Got Love drink water also full....u think this is possible?

and this is not regarding the both of u only. u might get objections from friends and family, and all those gossips. u must be well prepared for all this. u might say both of u dun mind this and can take all this bullshit from people or u might say it's none of their business, but then, when things really happen and all the pressure, u really sure u can take it?

i wish both of u luck.

[meiteoh 0]

Some of us speak from experience, others speak from observation of the experiences of others.

I have played the third party before and have been two-timed before. I know what it feels like to do it all in the name of love and what it feels like to be hurt in the name of love. Believe it, what I felt back then to be love is nothing compared to the real thing.

In the instance where I played the third party, like yourself, it was with a man who was in his 30s while I was in my early 20s. It was like the first blush of romance and all very exciting. But after three months, I asked myself if this was really want I want. If the sneaking around, if the "hiding our relationship in fear of his gf" was what I had envisioned as THE relationship. I even went so far as to ask myself if this was what I deserved, if this was my worth - playing second fiddle to another woman. Then I looked at the other side and asked, if I would feel any differently if it was me who was being cheated on. True, at that time, it was just emotions being involved, nothing physical but it was still bad enough. So in the end, about four months since it started, I ended it. Looking back, it was good that I ended things because 1) the man went on to break off with his girlfriend, and 2) he has not had a serious relationship until today. And no, he is still not married. We do keep in touch and I remember what he told me once. "I'm glad you called things off. You would have been hurt and I am not ready for commitment. I never was."

In the instance where I was two-timed, it was in my previous relationship. My ex never slept with the girl he had loved before me but throughout our relationship, he placed her needs more than mine, sought her advice about our relationship instead of me and so forth. He sought emotional fulfillment in her and that itself made me sick to the core. I felt like a doormat and angry because I allowed a mere man to use me just for pleasure and convenience instead of truly loving me the way I deserved. Back then, I thought putting up with him was true love but I was wrong. If he truly loved me, he would never have gotten into a relationship with me while he was still in love with this girl and continued on so when we were dating.

Let me tell you about the girl he was in love with. She went on to help this guy two-time on his girlfriend, yes, she played the other party (and a few times as well with different men). In all instances, she ended up crying on my ex's shoulder because the men went back to their girlfriends.

I have heard the excuse "we have no choice, we are in love" before many times, but people forget, you always ALWAYS have a choice. That is what makes us different from animals.

[erinepink 0]

Meiteoh: ya agree with u, maybe her HB should not treat her so good, should not give her all the good life she is having atm... sigh ~~

Genielee: you are so funny when u say "that featherless chicken... hahahaha....

I totally agree with what juvannise and honeylee said. I ask you, which girl do not like to wear pretty dress, have pretty bags, pretty shoes... after she is with you, i dun think she can have this anymore. Well, maybe she can still buy using her own savings or from her salary but i do not think it is without the guilty feeling. You know, i'm imagining i am her now while i am typing this. If i am her, i will think my chickmagnet (geli when i type this) is working so hard outside, if i buy this dress, will he think i am wasting money as we still have house loan to pay, car loan to pay, electricity bill, water bill, astro bill, petrol, food, can i really afford this dress like last time..?? Oh, i better dun buy this dress.... but i love this dress !! Oh god... i do not have to think so much when i want to buy a dress last time. I can buy any dress i want last time without any guilt and can proudly show to my ex-husband.

Chickmagnet, like what honeylee said, "oi ching yam shui bao" will not work in this world now. Everything is money. If you really love her, leave her alone. Let her have her good life with her husband. Her husband is not treating her badly till you need to rescue her. If it is then i support you. Her husband is so nice to her till she cant find any reason to divorce. Love someone doesnt mean you need to have her. If you really love her, the best that you can give her is leave her. Dun kacau her anymore. There must be a reason why they can be together for 10 years. 10 years is not a short time. I am sure there are a lot of sweet memories between them, its just that you have blinded her. She has forgotten all the momories she had with her husband bcoz of you.

Sigh, i wonder why i waste so much time and energy to type this. Not that you will listen anyway... i go to eat ice cream better. Ciao ~~

[tsukushi 0]

Although I have a feeling TS (I cannot even write the TS nicname felt so ^-^;;;;) won't actually listen to whatever I say, someone mentioned that maybe he would so no harm in trying.

I wonder as a man, TS could imagine him in the shoes of the husband. He who had provided everything for the girl and probably does not think there's anything wrong with their marriage. Imagine the day comes for the girl come and ask for divorce. Is it fair for him? Do TS think that he could compensate everything the man has done for his lady? Who knows what a man scorned would do? Ten years of relationship - I do not think that man would let go his wife that easily - and make both of your lives hell...

Sure - the lady would say she could live with TS - simple living, not the kind of rich lifestyle now. But I imagine a few years down the road - the time comes when money is tight and she has wants and needs you cannot provide - would you be prepared to hear her saying/comparing you to her ex-hubby who could provide everything??? That she had a better life with him compared to you...

I want to ask have she experienced hardship before for her to say that she does not mind living in a lesser lifestyle than now .

you know your lady best - do you think she is the sort that can cope with simple living. Right now she is also blinded by love and of course if you ask her now would you mind not having branded clothes or overseas holidays, she obviously says yes she would not mind because if she tells the truth that no... I cannot not have London trips every year or not get that new heels every other month. Is she working or have a career of her own? If she's working - may not be so bad as she had her own money to splurge but if she doesn't, you are going to have to provide everything for her and if you fail to do so - she'll probably ended up comparing you to her ex-hubby

You said us being married do not know true love. Does that suggest you who were not married know true love better?

Do you know the biggest reason people get divorce is actually MONEY?

i always ask my FH whether he would change his mind marrying me - me being sloppy, lazy and all.. he ask me back if I would change my mind or regret marrying him knowing that he does not make a lot of money to support both of us fully only on his salary. I said that i do not mind as I also have my own job to fall back on. Plus - if I have second thoughts - I wouldn't even think of going through with the wedding.. I probably postpone or sumthing.. In the same sense - no one forced ur lady to marry her husband - 10 years relationship nonwithstanding.

TS - it is your call.. you know ur lady best. If she is serious to marry you and leave her husband - just be prepared the backlash - from society, parents... to some people they cannot withstand the society pressure - can ur lady handle that (because from the way you write ur comments - I don't think you are the sort that seek society approval or care about what other ppl say) because marrying you - ppl would have the worst opinion of her - two timing and divorcing her husband. Ppl would badmouth her and talk behind your backs. Her family might disown. Her friends may shun her. Her colleagues at the office would have less respect of her. Can she handle that?

If she can't - don't you think she would be miserable.. if you really love her - do you want that kind of situation for her?

Loving someone is wanting what is best for that someone - so I suggest you think of what's best for her not what's best for you.

[chickmagnet 0]

My lady said that money is not an issue. Sides, she doesn't spends her husband's money. Right now, money is not an issue, I'm earning mine and she's earning hers. We're just 2 person deeply in love with each other. So are you all saying that I should just dump her and ask her to go back to her life before knowing me? Damage has been done, I bet she'll be living with her guilt for the rest of her life. Besides, why would she wanna suffer emotionally by breaking up just for the simple reason because she's married? She's been taking steps to prepare for her divorce. Well, of course she can't just do it abruptly because it'll just give her hubby a surprise. Just wanna add, I might be young, but I'm not lame. It's not like when she follows me, she'll have to eat porridge everyday. In this 2 years time, my salary will be comparable; if not higher than those of officers in the banking industry, or even hers. I have a detailed planning of my career; it's just that my relationship has taken some twists in it. Somehow you all will we're in just for lust, but mind you we're both 2 different individuals with serious discussions, having our own opinions. We just can't help falling into love with each other. She told me that I gave her the feeling that no other guys gave during her courting period or marriage. It's just something special about her that we just comfortable being with each other. Believe me, sometimes when pressure from those around you to get married after 10 years of courtship could put you under duress when accepting the proposal. She for one did a mistake that she really regretted. And I believe she deserves a second chance.

[claritzel 0]

Ji mui's, are we all being too harsh for someone who wrote to ask for our advice? I'm in no way siding him but maybe being a human, it's normal for him to put on self defense when ppl lashes him out so strongly.

Anyway Chickmagnet, have you broken up with your girlfriend yet?This should be the first right thing to do. The poor girl deserves someone better, someone who can give her all of his heart and this is something that you can't do right now. Let go of your girlfriend, she deserves happiness and love.

Another thing is, ask youself these few questions:-

1. From 24 to 30, it's a long road ahead to reach to where her Hubby is. Throughout this journey, you'll grow. You'll change. You'll meet new people. Think of the consequences. Should she divorce her husband and be with you, what if you meet "The One" down the road? What will happend to this madam of yours?

2. She's already 30. Should being with her involve marrying her right now. Would you? Are you ready for commitments?

3. Yeah, love makes us do a lot of crazy things. But even so, think of the people you'll hurt. My FB always say..whatever you do, think of the consequences. Can you live your life being happy when you know you've caused another man's misery?

Don't do to her hubby what you wouldn't want other man to do to your wife.

The decision will be yours. I'm not here to judge. I have no right..but please please do consider other's feelings beside yours and your madam.

There're two hurtful innocent hearts right now.

[beautifulgown 0]

If he is comes here for advise, then is not wrong for us to voice our view but I don't feel that he is comes here just for advice. From all his posts, I don't see he is accepting our advise. well he has his right to accept or reject and we have our right to voice out too.

[chickmagnet 0]

Ji mui's, are we all being too harsh for someone who wrote to ask for our advice? I'm in no way siding him but maybe being a human, it's normal for him to put on self defense when ppl lashes him out so strongly.

Anyway Chickmagnet, have you broken up with your girlfriend yet?This should be the first right thing to do. The poor girl deserves someone better, someone who can give her all of his heart and this is something that you can't do right now. Let go of your girlfriend, she deserves happiness and love.

Another thing is, ask youself these few questions:-

1. From 24 to 30, it's a long road ahead to reach to where her Hubby is. Throughout this journey, you'll grow. You'll change. You'll meet new people. Think of the consequences. Should she divorce her husband and be with you, what if you meet "The One" down the road? What will happend to this madam of yours?

2. She's already 30. Should being with her involve marrying her right now. Would you? Are you ready for commitments?

3. Yeah, love makes us do a lot of crazy things. But even so, think of the people you'll hurt. My FB always say..whatever you do, think of the consequences. Can you live your life being happy when you know you've caused another man's misery?

Don't do to her hubby what you wouldn't want other man to do to your wife.

The decision will be yours. I'm not here to judge. I have no right..but please please do consider other's feelings beside yours and your madam.

There're two hurtful innocent hearts right now.

Yes, I have already broken up with her.

[honeylee 0]

good to hear that u have broken up with ur gf. but, what about ur madam, have she filed a divorce? if not, i dun think it is morally right for u to start a relationship with her (although both of u have felt head over heels for each other).

i guess you are here u get an assurance. u r waiting for someone to say, yes, bro way to go. u have done the right thing! but instead u r getting all the shooting here, so u become defensive. izzit possible to bring ur madam here? we would like to hear her side of the story

[meiteoh 0]

Enough with the same excuses, CM. After all we have asked and told you, all you can say is the same thing over and over again. Are you even reading what we wrote? Some of us have mentioned before that she may promise you the moon and sun now and things can be different and yet, you keep telling us what she's saying now. Aiyo...

I, for one, didn't ask you both to break up. If your love is true and sincere, then the both of you ought to lay low for a while until the divorce is final. Continue to care for another but for gawd's sake, until the ring is off her finger, treat her like how you treat a married woman - keep your paws and d*ick off & away from her! That is what I have been trying to hint to you from between the lines from the start. What is so difficult to understand? Even all those illicit affairs in TVB dramas are like that as well...stay away from the married woman until she's divorced, then you can have a go at it till your heart's content.

Instead you annoyed me with your self-justifications and excuses to why you committed adultery with a married woman. A wrong is a wrong no matter what you coat it with but you see, I have the luxury of sitting back and relaxing because it is not my mistake. You and this woman will have to live with it for the rest of your lives. So think wisely.

Claritzel, sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. I started off being very nice and then he went on a excuse/justification tangent without even considering what a lot of us have to say AND he did ask the question in order to know what people think, so I became honest...as honest as this person can be while still remaining polite.

I still see that after all we have said, he is continuing on the same tangent. I'm not interested in what he has to explain about his career, about his illicit love affair and so forth. The explanation shouldn't be given to me. It is no skin off my nose what he does. He should instead be saying all the stuff he has been saying to the woman's husband. His words and attitudes says that he has no regrets about what he has done. Bear in mind, he has already broken two innocent hearts.

This whole cheating business is a topic that is close to my heart (I have seen at least five marriages fall apart in the last century in my own family due to a third party) and if you have long enough on this forum as some of the ladies here have, you'll know that despite my "harsh" words, I say such things because I only have the person's interest at heart and because I've seen/heard of plenty of similar stories & their endings...

I have given him the benefit of the doubt by assuming that he is honest about his feelings and his actions, by assuming that age is no barrier to maturity. I will not lie to coat his ego or his mistakes. Lying will not make things better for him, I'm afraid.

I always believe in this - you make your bed, you lie in it. This is just a foretaste of what he and the woman will experience in life. I hope the both of them are up for it.

CM, going back to you...

I didn't want to bring this up earlier but I do hope you answer this sincerely - do the people in your office know that you're having a relationship with a client? Is it allowed in the banking industry or any industry at all to date a client? From observation, it is never wise to shit where you eat.

[tsukushi 0]

My lady said that money is not an issue. Sides, she doesn't spends her husband's money. Right now, money is not an issue, I'm earning mine and she's earning hers. We're just 2 person deeply in love with each other. So are you all saying that I should just dump her and ask her to go back to her life before knowing me? Damage has been done, I bet she'll be living with her guilt for the rest of her life. Besides, why would she wanna suffer emotionally by breaking up just for the simple reason because she's married? She's been taking steps to prepare for her divorce. Well, of course she can't just do it abruptly because it'll just give her hubby a surprise. Just wanna add, I might be young, but I'm not lame. It's not like when she follows me, she'll have to eat porridge everyday. In this 2 years time, my salary will be comparable; if not higher than those of officers in the banking industry, or even hers. I have a detailed planning of my career; it's just that my relationship has taken some twists in it. Somehow you all will we're in just for lust, but mind you we're both 2 different individuals with serious discussions, having our own opinions. We just can't help falling into love with each other. She told me that I gave her the feeling that no other guys gave during her courting period or marriage. It's just something special about her that we just comfortable being with each other. Believe me, sometimes when pressure from those around you to get married after 10 years of courtship could put you under duress when accepting the proposal. She for one did a mistake that she really regretted. And I believe she deserves a second chance.

Thankyou for breaking up with ur GF because no girl deserve you two timing her with anyone.. love nonwithstanding.

U have answered my question regarding money so I guess you guys may be ok in the financial front but how about the social front.

You put in the part that everyone pushed her to accept the proposal from the husband due to the long relationship and she caved in.

Do you think she would be strong enough not to cave in when everyone telling her NOT to divorce her husband.

You think she deserve a second chance. she may say that before this I listen to other ppl - then I become really miserable marrying my hubby. So this time around I follow my heart, divorce my hubby, marry the one I love and I will be right. I love this guy so don't care what they say - I am going ahead with it. Well, this is all talk... Before you commit to her - she has to commit to you. So you say that she needed time to divorce her hubby... I think if you take shorter or longer time - it would not make any difference. Divorce is a divorce regardless the way it is done.

You mentioned she tried to postpone / cancell the marriage by making a huge argument before wedding but that did not work. She probably doing the same now.. make up arguments more etc... but isn't it a cowardly way of doing things. If you do not want to marry - say so lah. no need to go through the ceremony so what if everything is already paid... if you want to get out of that toxic marriage (so you say) just tell laa... no need to beat around the bush. Just need to tell the hubby - I am leaving you for another guy because I love him and want to marry him.

Like I say - all these things--is it fair for the husband of hers?? A big resounding no right.I really find that both of you are very selfish ppl who think of your happiness above other ppl's happiness. By divorcing her husband - she is risking a LOT - disapproval and maybe a total estrangement from her parents, friends and colleagues. She may tell you that it is all worth it to marry you but after a while, it may come back to haunt her and she may end up blaming you.

BTW - do you think your parents and family would make it easier for her... a divorcee marrying a bachelor... you may not care as you love her and nothing your family says would matter. But to most girls, in laws acceptance are very crucial. are you a first born.. is your parents the type that jaga muka kind... do you think they would accept her as daughter in law with open arms.. will ur relatives shun her or badmouth her.. can she handle all that... if she does not - like I said at the end of the day she may feel regret like the way she felt with her marriage now, that marrying you was a mistake and she better off not marrying anyone at all...

You criticise the forumers here who have married saying that how do we know that our husband won't cheat and all... The way you comment make it sound that you felt you know better than any of the forumers here. If you know better, why bother asking for our opinions?

But after all said and done - I don't think you are listening to any of our advice. You are just here to wait that one someone that would say --- yeah you're doing the right thing, go ahead and rescue her from her no-good husband and live happily ever after. You are not going to get that from me or any of the other forumers.

Thankyou for reading

[faithyng 0]

chickmagnet,

Sorry, no matter how you explain to prove that you and your so call madam are right and innocent, but in this forum, for the wedding couples and people who are preparing for the wedding, WE WILL NOT SUPPORT YOU AND WE WILL STILL SAY THAT YOU ARE TERRIBILY WRONG !!!!!!!!

What is marriage for you ? Can you share with us ? Is it just a game for you ? So easy to divorce ? Where is your morality ? Where is your "leong sum" ? Where is your conscience ?

You should be thankful to us to layan you and still give you our input and advice. If you want us to agree with you, SORRY, WE WON'T GIVE OUR BLESSING TO BOTH OF YOU !!!!

Okay, let say both of you still insisted that it is right to go ahead and get married, do you guarantee that divorce and adultery won't happen to both of you ?.......since you and your lady said that it is okay to divorce. Can you guarantee that you won't wear GREEN HAT in future ? Can you guarantee that you won't looking for another woman ?...since you said it is right to steal someone's wife mah ! Please reflect back on your own replies to us carefully.

Young man, some of us here have gone through the same experience that you and your so call lady (I hate that you say she is your lady but she is in fact someone's WIFE !!!) go through now, we were in the same shoes of both of you too. But, we have came out from it and at the end, we chose dignity and honour our marriage which is sacred. So MARRIAGE IS SACRED, do you get this ?

By the way, looking at your replies to us, it seems that you already make up your mind that it is okay for both of you to be together. So, why still want to ask our precious advice ? If you still have your conscience, why still mingle around here ? You won't get the answer that you are looking for.

Sorry, this forum is not the forum that encourages what you are doing now.

By the way, does your family, your parent know about this ? If our advice are rubbish to you, why not you ask your family and seek their advice ? Aren't they are more important than us ? I wonder......

[daddyo 0]

I have been following this thread and it has been interesting.

Here's the 2 cents from a guy, hopefully from an unbiased viewpoint:

Chickmagnet,

What is done is done and it cannot be undone. Yes, it is wrong to get involved with a married woman but it is done. No going back anymore so no use harping on that. Accept that it was a mistake and then move on to the next step.

Question is : What is the next step? Have you given it any thoughts? Since you 2 are hellbent on staying together, I would say the next step is to finalise the divorce and then move on to the 2 of you. No excuses as "She cannot just bring up divorce for fear her husband will be shocked" or things like that. Do you think that her husband will be less shocked if he found out about the 2 of you?

If she really wants to go through the divorce, then just file and get it going already. Tell the husband that the whole thing was a mistake and get it over with. Yes, it is unfair for the husband but it will be more unfair for the 2 of you to carry on this way. Damage has already been done and now it is about minimising the casualties.

How to face the husband and the family? Well, that's for you guys to figure out. You should have thought about this before getting involved. Whatever comes, you will have to deal with it and for once be matured about it.

So it all boils down to one question really : Does the 2 of you want to carry on like this, knowing that it is wrong or do you want to do the right thing and settle everything first before you think about the future? No one can say that it is right or wrong to fall in love with a married woman. We are humans. Prone to mistakes. But what we need to do is - once we know that something is a mistake, we must take steps to rectify it. Not carry on like there's nothing wrong. It is not wrong to love a married guy or girl. What is wrong is getting intimately involved with a married guy or girl. So here is the wrong. How do you plan to right it?

[honeylee 0]

daddyo,

well said.

i wonder if apekjolly will join in to this 'interesting' thread. and i wonder which side he is at.

[faithyng 0]

good to hear that u have broken up with ur gf. but, what about ur madam, have she filed a divorce? if not, i dun think it is morally right for u to start a relationship with her (although both of u have felt head over heels for each other).

i guess you are here u get an assurance. u r waiting for someone to say, yes, bro way to go. u have done the right thing! but instead u r getting all the shooting here, so u become defensive. izzit possible to bring ur madam here? we would like to hear her side of the story

Good idea. Chickmagnet, why not let your so call lady come here and read this topic. Let her read our advice to both of you. Maybe she does have a little bit of conscience. Instead of filing a divorce, she needs to give a second chance (sorry, I use your word) to her husband so that he will try to be her dream man.

By the way, besides being angry and irritated by you, I do feel worry about you. I really don't know your so call lady will be sincere to you or not.....Courtship around 10 years is not short le, I don't believe that she accidently said "yes" to her husband. You really trust all her sweet words to you ar ? Knowing for 10 years and just married to her husband, so fast want to divorce just because of you whom she only knew for a few months and younger than her ???? Be careful not to be an escape goat le....I think she should let you go and start building the understanding and love with her husband and give a second chance to him. And you carry on your life to maturity.

[kellytangsl 0]

CM,

So many members gave very good advise and opinion, but everytime you defence with same thing about financial and how deep love only. Your both family and friends support what your both did now?

Remember, objective MB member post issue, ideal, question and problem at here is want to share and advise each other to get better solution. since you so defensive and clear direction, why u still post this at here? everybody against your action and direcion, did you accept? your answer is NOT, masuk again keluar asap or degil. NO POINT TO ADVISE YOU.

since you post your story at this forum, back to your question. what should you do now??? i think u should clearer than us. But most of us is same answer 'YOU ARE WRONG'. you go ahead whatever you like but you are wrong.

[yyogurt 0]

Make-up stories or not, there are actual cases like this happening in reality and instead of casting doubt to the person who posted it, it doesn't hurt to just reply and share some advice/suggestion/thoughts - it's not a waste of time or energy for me if someone is walking down the wrong path and thanks to a forum like this, changes his/her mind and goes back on the right track.

True true. If one person is sincere in seeking help & advice, I am pretty sure many would love to offer their valuable advice. However, for those who is just having fun and fooling around with could-be-false-stories, there is no harm in giving our few cents thoughts.

One should not be stingy with one's knowledge and good advices as long as it may help another human to becoming a better person. Whether the other person would heal or ignore, it is up to him already. We have done our part and we tried.

I am not goin to give my share of view cos I think it has been well-analysed and well-said by all of you here.

Cheers,

Me B)

[@eMiLy 0]

My opinion and adv would be the same as the rest. Still a long journey for you to find out what is LOVE bro. God bless you~

[Apekjolly 0]

When a child sees a new toy, he would toss aside his old toy and grab the new one to play with. He would be excited about the new toy even if it is no better than his old one.

The same thing could have happened to chickmagnet when he found his new lover. Right now, of course he is blissfully “in love” with her because she is a “new toy” to him while his lover also treats him likewise.

Oh, how romantic! I'm so jealous! But although I'm jealous, I still manage to weave a poem to be dedicated to them. Here it goes:

HONESTLY SPEAKING, AHEAD OF THEM, I CAN SEE LIGHTNING FLASHING AND HEAR THUNDER RUMBLES.

HOW LONG CAN THE LOVERS HOLD UP THEIR RAINBOW-COLORED AIR CASTLE BEFORE IT TUMBLES AND CRUMBLES?

MY SINCERE ADVICE TO THEM IS THAT THEY SHOULD QUICKLY WAKE UP FROM THEIR DEEP DRUNKEN SLUMBER AND BE SOBER.

OR ELSE, THEY WILL FIND OUT TOO LATE THAT PLAYING WITH MALE-FEMALE SEXUAL CHEMISTRY IS AS LETHAL AS PLAYING WITH FIRE

Well, I don't know if the lovers have been watching too many romantic movies or reading to many romance novels, but I just hope they don't forget that their affair is down-to-earth and real, and what they do can shame and hurt real flesh and blood people.