Hai...they are driving me insane!

[meiteoh 0]

I love them, it's nice of them to come all the way here but they are driving me insane!!!

1) They are always commenting about how many things HB and I have and that we should live on bare minimum - don't even buy plates and such.

2) They are always telling my HB and myself what to do, eg how to pack, what to pack, what to send to them, how to prepare for an interview, how to settle our baby's documents and such, how to cook (Dad does it and he doesn't know how to cook), and so forth. And their way is not even productive - Dad was like "Wait till you drop your baby, then you know" when I was carrying my baby and trying to wash a handful of grapes. Mum is always going "I think you should change her diaper", "I think you should feed her", "I think you shouldn't carry her", "I think you should put this blanket on her" (when it's bloody hot), "I think she's cold, why don't you put socks on her?" (when it's warm? I dun think so). BUT it's perfectly okay for Dad to put my baby on a cushion on the sofa just like that and that I should feed her water and all that. =.=

3) They don't really clean up after themselves - Dad leaves his stuff and rubbish lying around and if Mum doesn't pick it up, HB and myself have to do it. In less than two weeks, Mum has dirtied the brand new stove which the landlord installed to replace the old one. Dad's comment about the stains on the hot plate (instead of slate grey, it looks like rust now and there are specks all over the shiny surface) - "Oh, it's very easy to clean wan. Just heat the plate and scrub la." And who does it? My HB. The only thing he does is vacuum the floor - he doesn't help with the cooking, cleaning, washing up...when it's time to eat, must invite him to the table. =.=

4) Mum never wants to cook any veg - always buying meat, meat, meat which is the most expensive stuff you can get in Switzerland. And when my HB casually remarked that the fruits she bought wasn't very ripe, she stopped buying fruits - didn't even bother learning how to tell if a fruit is ripe and etc. Main until I had to step in and tell the two of them to at least come to an agreement on who to buy what and so forth.

5) Dad likes to leave the toilet lights on, open the blinds when it's bloody hot (so the place ends up becoming hotter), turns on the tap full blast and messes up the place, never opens the shower curtain to let it dry so it's icky now and so forth. Even doesn't flush the toilet sometimes after small dos. When I casually mentioned that someone forgot to turn off the light, he remarked that "it's okay since he's not paying for it".

6) They are always ALWAYS criticizing my baby - they like to say that she's lazy when she's asleep, snobbish when she doesn't smile at them, a cry baby when she cries and so forth. Dad even went so far as to tell me that my baby should be drinking more BM because she's one week older (WTH) and that I am not feeding her enough because she always wants to drink BM every three hours.

7) They like to criticize my HB - Dad said that he's "penny wise, pound foolish" because my HB got a parking fine and to Dad, my HB should have found a way to cheat the system and not get/pay the fine. To me and my HB, if you break the law, you pay for it but Dad feels no qualms about breaking the law. Even shared how he conned his way out of paying a parking fine!!!! They also say that he has no PR and etc, doesn't know how to do things when they don't know the full story. When I tell them, they just keep quiet - no sorry, apology, nothing. It's like nothing we do is good enough for them. When my HB cooks, Mum will eat but she'll make a certain face that, if you hadn't known, you'd think she was eating shit.

My HB and I are tolerating it as best as we can...I just want to rant...and my HB? Well, he finds it tough as well and hai...I'm caught in the middle as usual. =.=

[juvannise 0]

Mei,

is that your in-law or your own parents?

i found it a bit hard to complain to them about that since they are your mum and dad right?

hugzz for you!!

[darlingangel 0]

Oh hon... that sounds terrible! Especially since the birth of your daughter is supposed to be a happy occasion... and your parents aren't exactly making it that.

I haven't been in the exact same situation, so I can't really help you... the best I can do is give you (and your HB and Eva) virtual hugs!

It's just temporary, so maybe make the best of it (as hard as it may be), stand firm on whatever you think is best for your HB and daughter (even if it may come to telling your parents off about certain things - their dirtying-the-place habits etc) and look forward to the time when you will be moving to Sg and have your own little home away from prying parents (for a while, at least!)

Chin up!

[beautifulgown 0]

Mabel,

I believe you already can foresee this situation when your parents are there, maybe you don't expect them up to this extend ah.

They brought their Malaysia's living habits to your side and it seems like they want to change the way you lived now, relax Mabel =) here definitely is the place for you to rant.

Look at little Eva, she was so cute and adorable =) tell your parents, nowadays kid unlike the older days and Eva is consider as a very 'kwai' baby, well you can use the pantang to keep them quiet =P haahhaha (which I hate pantang the most) new born baby is very sensitive with our words, don't say they are bad or good otherwise they will just follow as what we said =D so you tell your parents, don't do that later baby will behave as what they said =P

As for your HB - Nil, he is really a patience man who can tolerate your parents, tell Nil he just need to concentrate on Eva and don't care the rest. =)

[juanil 0]

Mabel,

*HUGS*

I know how you feel when people around you keep complaining this and that. Well, dear. Bear in mind that this is just temporary and it will be over soon. Then, there will be the 3 of you alone again, right. All I can do for you is giving you a BIG huggies here...

[Apekjolly 0]

meiteoh,

I'm kind of surprised to see you grousing about your mum and dad like. It is as if you have never known them all this while.

Anyway, what I can say is that people's character can change when they get older ( I wonder how old they are). I have heard of plenty of stories of people finding it hard to tolerate their parents as they get older. That's why many children like to move out and away from their parents especially after they have got married.

I'm sure, in your parents' case, they just have no idea at all that they are driving you nuts with their behaviours. When they give you this and that advice, in their minds, they think they are only showing you their concern and care. And when they make a mess of your home, they think that they are just trying to be "making themselves at home".

Well, if they are just going to be temporary around, the best option for you and your hubby is just to tolerate them. Let them go back home again with a happy memory. Maybe you can apologise to your husband on their behalf. I'm sure he will understand.

[bunnyNwife 0]

Mabel... hug hug, ok?

Anyway I was facing similar problems during confinement but it was my MIL who caused it till I went crazy.

1. When she drink those soup made my CL or my mum, she will put on the face as if she is drinking urine and tell my HB that it taste sucks infront of me and said dun wan to drink!!!

2. She commented that my mum/I is cooking unhealthy food for my HB purely becos he likes it. COme on, she never cook at all for my HB in KL since we got married. Aso my mum's cooking always low salt and low fat.

3. Whenever I wanna carry Baby Jaylene, she will tell me off saying that I should not spoil her la, nanti my mum will hv hard time to take care of Baby Jaylene. Guess what, she is the one who always carry Baby Jaylene and pat her for hours!!! But she never help feeding (EBM) nor changing dirty diapers! Smart ler...

4. MIL always comment on BF .. u have enough milk meh? why Bb take so long to feed? She dun wan to drink izzit?

5. She came empty handed ie nothing for me. She only bought a gold bracelet and a swing for BB but nothing for me. She basically ignore my entire pregnancy - no phone call no food/tonic, etc.

6. She stayed at my place for 1 whole month and my CL got to take care of her as well (food) while my parents got to purposely buy selected fish, vege for CL to cook for her as she is super fussy - this dun eat, tat dun eat. CL also beh tahan her eating habits.

7. Whenever meal time, someone must INVITE her to makan despite all of us already at the dining table. My maid got to serve her like queen la.

8. My parents only come over twice a week (originally my mum shld be staying here to learn babycare from CL but since my MIL parked herself here, she cant overnite at here as CL took the guest room and MIL took the study room - no more bed/sofa bed available). Whenever my parents around, MIL still wanna hold Baby Jaylene tight and my parents hardly have chance to interact with Baby Jaylene.

At least your parents came with full loads of stuff for u and BB and they are definitely very concern about u. My MIL came to take full advantage!

Look at the bright side - their intentions are good but wrong method. Just tahan for a short while la.

[meiteoh 0]

Actually, come to think of it, I should correct the title and put it as "DAD" and not parents coz my mum doesn't really drive me insane. Most of the stuff there is coz of my dad.

Unfortunately for me, they are an epitome of how old people DO change as they get older. To be honest, I don't know my dad any more. He has changed A LOT and my mum? While she hasn't changed much, it is safe to say that she is definitely not the same as before and well, she seems to like to take advantage of the fact that since my HB is an angmoh, she might as well treat it like she is the one calling the shots instead of my ILs. Still the major complaint isn't about her - I appreciate her presence and concern more than my dad, really.

I do tell my parents to not say negative things about my baby to her - sometimes when she throws tantrums (like yesterday), I say "good girl" because later at night, she blesses my HB and I with four hours of restful sleep. My mum will understand and try her best but my dad? It's like talking to the four walls. :(

While I still can tahan, sometimes it's hard and hurtful for me anyway (lets be realistic - we are still human and I still hurt when people criticise, nag and all without reason) because I end up getting told that I'm ungrateful, making life difficult, fussy and all just because I tell them to turn off the toilet light. In fact, I don't even tell them off at all...I just try to stay away from all the drama but somehow, they keep coming back to me to rant about each other - mostly my parents. I always tell them that I don't want to get involved and my HB has mentioned before that if he does anything wrong and such, that they can always tell him directly but my parents will still go "Your lou kong ar...he's this and that..." and I'm like @.@.

I am beginning to understand more and more as the days pass why my bro and SIL are the way they are with my parents - non-communicative and such. Plus my HB isn't exactly deaf and what they say hurts his feelings as well too. He doesn't want me getting all stressed out and discouraged, especially at this stage where I'm breastfeeding and all so sometimes what my parents say to me gets him upset.

I think "them driving me insane" is more because I am caught in between - my HB, my parents and then there is all the nagging. Like I said, thirty years on and it's still "nothing I do is good enough for them" (exactly like how my bro felt years ago!)

But yeah, I guess I just need to let go steam...coz everyone seems to be using me to let go steam to (my parents and HB). Me leh? Can't exactly let go to baby oso. So come here and let go lor. :P

[Diana 0]

Mabel,

Oh dear!!! *hugzzzz* I can see why you're going insane! If it was for me I'd have already been insane!!! Probably on my way to the asylum LOL. Anyway I guess at the end of the day you can have a breather and think at least you're blessed with a very supporting and understanding husband and of coz lil Eva!! I hope for your sake they'll be leaving pretty soon so you won't have to endure all these again. It's pretty stressful when you're all tired and stuck in the middle! Hang on! It'll be over soon!

[meiteoh 0]

Yeah - just tahan lor. I must admit that I have really wonderful ILs - my SIL, FIL and MIL all asked my HB and I if they would like to take my parents off our hands for a few days just to give us a breather. I mean it's not that we can't stand them, it's just that four adults and a newborn in a small apartment coupled with all the admin stuff we have to do and all can make the situation even more tensed for everyone. Just yesterday, my SIL who came for a visit suggested that we go to her ILs place for a day trip just to give me a break and let me do whatever I like with my baby. So as of this moment, I'm home alone. WONDERFUL really... :P

[Diana 0]

Mabel,

Very nice of your ILs!! Appreciate it now! LOL get some rest from all the comments hehe...btw I went for my scan today and I'm carrying a girl!!

[panda1020 0]

The critics thingy reminds me of sth..

last week i hit by my collegue after praising her face/ skin is beautiful, has very good condition. I was very shocked when she suddenly got mad and hit me NON-STOP and SCREAMED hysterically! then i only came to know there are supertitious ppl who believe in "compliments can spoil"

according to them, once things get praised, it will turn bad. People have such thinking are SUPER sensitive when they heard any praises! well~ i was told by them that "kids cannot be praised-- cannot say they are cute, smart, "gwai", and many many things else. the kids will become "another" kind once u praise them. harvest cannot "praise", if u say good harvest will turn out no harvest..etc oh...face also something they pantang a lot, cannot say pretty, smooth, good condition, gradiant..etc. oh~ my friend even tried to convince me that last time after some facial treatments, she herself accidentally said "skin condition is better now" then the next week she got allergy and face become reddish blah blah blah~

personally i dont know and dont believe in such, but i think may be your parents have that thinking so they always say bad things on your baby. Maybe u can try to understand from them and see what you can do to make them do not critic your baby.

[meiteoh 0]

Well, I did tell them that my baby is well, just a baby, and there is no such thing as pantang and all plus saying such things can lead to insecurity issues and such (like with me and my bro) that so my mum is a little more positive. But my dad? Like I said, it falls on deaf ears.

But one thing I have noticed is that since my bro and I became adults, my parents have become very critical of us and of lately, my dad. As before, it's like nothing we do is good enough. When we were kids, he would still compliment us once in a while but now? Only know how to criticize non-stop. My HB while understanding still finds it annoying and hurtful. Plus in his culture, you just don't say certain things outloud coz it's rude (like comment about how fat someone is and blah, blah).

[Escudo 0]

Confinement period is really a very hard stage to go through. I remembered all the tears I shed just becoz of depression and thought that I was not good enough to take care of my baby.

Mei, if I got criticized like this, I dun think I could even passed thru my confinement. I think you should sit down and talk to your father directly, how hurtful his criticism is, esp during this critical times. He should know the postnatal depression is really VERY dangerous. Ask for his cooperation is the best.

For me, I am sure I will blast my father already. :P

[Apekjolly 0]

panda1020,

I don't think that colleage of yours is fit to live in this world. I mean if her skin is really that beautiful, I don't think you would have been the first and the last person who would give her a compliment about it. And if she were to scream and curse everytime people do so, how horrible that is!

It's amazing that in this age of science and technology, many people, including highly educated people, still believe in all kinds od silly superstitions.

[beautifulgown 0]

sigh .. why they wanna bring those unpractical and unscientific pantang to our life? how silly to believe those things ah!!

let's form an anti-pantang group! I'm definitely in! =D

How silly when people praise you pretty and you get mad on that person? bodoh betul!

When my colleagues praised me pretty, slim I was so happy la! haahahha .. when people praised my nieces were so talented, good, I was so proud of them and who created such stupid pantang that cannot praise a person who is real pretty, good and talented?!?!?! how silly!

[daddyo 0]

meiteoh,

Stay cool, ok? I understand that sometimes those that are closest to you will be the ones to hurt you the most. Just look at it this way, we get hurt because we care for them. Whatever they say, matters to us. That's why when they say things that are hurtful, it hurts us so much more. Imagine if some stranger said the same things to you. You'll probably shrug it off and forget the whole thing as soon as you turn your back.

Parents or rather old people are like that. They have their superstitions and all. Just let them be. They'll be going back home soon and you'll probably start to miss them after that.

Don't be too uptight about things. Remember, your little baby is still a baby. She can't understand what's being said to her so whatever you say or they say is the same to her - sound coming out from different person that she can't make head or tail about. So why get all worked up?

Give them some slack, they flew halfway around the globe to see their grandchild so let them have their way for a couple of days or weeks and after that you'll have your old life back.

All of us will never be good enough for our parents. That's the Asian way, well, the Asian Chinese way at the very least. When we do right, we don't get no credit but when we do wrong, we'll never hear the end of it. For me, I just take it as a sign that they still care very much for me. Don't listen to the words. Just listen to the underlying factor that it comes from. They care. That's why they criticize. Do you hear them criticizing total strangers? No? That's because they couldn't care less what happens to total strangers. You on the other hand, they care a lot about. That's why you'll never hear the end of it. Just know that they love you. That's all that matters. Filter out the words and just take in the love.

[meiteoh 0]

Daddyo, thanks for those words of encouragement. My HB and I are still very much in the process of "filtering" out the words and just looking at the intentions but sometimes, we tend to fall short of that mark. I guess it doesn't help that I don't get very much sleep at night (or during the day too) (and HB is the same although he gets an extra hour or so since he doesn't have to feed Eva but he can't nap during the day coz he has to entertain my parents and do the packing, etc, etc) as well so the fatigue adds to the whole thing. :(

[Escudo 0]

meiteoh,

Stay cool, ok? I understand that sometimes those that are closest to you will be the ones to hurt you the most. Just look at it this way, we get hurt because we care for them. Whatever they say, matters to us. That's why when they say things that are hurtful, it hurts us so much more. Imagine if some stranger said the same things to you. You'll probably shrug it off and forget the whole thing as soon as you turn your back.

Parents or rather old people are like that. They have their superstitions and all. Just let them be. They'll be going back home soon and you'll probably start to miss them after that.

Don't be too uptight about things. Remember, your little baby is still a baby. She can't understand what's being said to her so whatever you say or they say is the same to her - sound coming out from different person that she can't make head or tail about. So why get all worked up?

Give them some slack, they flew halfway around the globe to see their grandchild so let them have their way for a couple of days or weeks and after that you'll have your old life back.

All of us will never be good enough for our parents. That's the Asian way, well, the Asian Chinese way at the very least. When we do right, we don't get no credit but when we do wrong, we'll never hear the end of it. For me, I just take it as a sign that they still care very much for me. Don't listen to the words. Just listen to the underlying factor that it comes from. They care. That's why they criticize. Do you hear them criticizing total strangers? No? That's because they couldn't care less what happens to total strangers. You on the other hand, they care a lot about. That's why you'll never hear the end of it. Just know that they love you. That's all that matters. Filter out the words and just take in the love.

DaddyO, actually I have points to argue about this. But, I think now is not the appropriate time. :)

Mei: Be strong.

[meiteoh 0]

Just sharing an example of how what my parents do with my baby affects my HB and me directly.

There was one night (two nights ago, I think) where my baby was awake after a feed (9pm) and my hubby was interacting with her coz she was wide awake. After a while, when her attention started to stray, I suggest to my hubby to put her to sleep instead of keeping her awake, otherwise she'll start to fuss for the next few hours. My mum immediately ask for her and carried her for the next 30 to 45 minutes. My hubby had to keep asking her to let the baby sleep. Only after a while, she came into the room to put the baby down - refused to let my HB take the baby from her and etc. My baby was fussing non-stop after that - she stayed up for three hours when she only fusses for an hour and goes to sleep on her own. Who was the one who had to go through the crying and fussing and all? Me and my HB. My parents? Happily sleeping in the next room.

When I try to talk to them about this, they say I'm fussy and purposely fight with them, that I'm ungrateful because they came all the way to Switzerland to visit me so I should just tahan and let them do whatever they want with my baby coz after they leave, I can "rediscipline" my baby all over again and etc. =.=

I tried explaining to my dad yesterday when my baby was just dozing off to sleep. My dad kept making so many noises and trying to keep the baby awake. Every time my baby's eyes close, he's call her name, make all sorts of sounds and she'll open her eyes again. I shared with him that my baby needs to sleep when it's time to sleep so she'll fuss less at night and my HB & I can rest easier. He pulak went "Never mind la" (in other words, I should let them play with her for hours on end) and then in front of my mum and my HB, say "New mums are always overprotective". WTH. How does me trying to let my baby fall to sleep mean that I'm overprotective?

Sometimes I feel like just disappearing into the master bedroom after 9pm with my baby to avoid them. To be honest, my HB and my baby are the only things keeping me going at this point.

[ice_anise 0]

Dear mei,

Understand your situation very much......guess i will go through the same thing as well...but since my baby will be due in another 2months plus.....i am taking precaution how to "prevent" unnecessary disturbance to happen. Basically, hubby side got lotsa relative....."very ng sing muk" relatives...even during my marriage, when the time i wanted to rest, they still knock on my door (lights off) and want to have a look on "bride & groom's room". If my baby is born...i guess...those "ng sing muk" aunties and uncles will be kacauing alot too....

Already talk to hubby, i will lock the door most of the time....pretending i am breastfeeding or sleeping...and i told my hubby that i will stay in our room most of the time, baby will be with me MOST of the time as well....i dun want them to carry baby often...if not....later i am the one who suffer.

Why not after certain hour of the night, dim the light and make your baby get used to sleep at that time, this will create a sleeping patterns. i guess your dad wont come knocking on your door when your room's light is dimmed. Yes, to tolerate but also need to find some solution to prevent.

[little angel 0]

The critics thingy reminds me of sth..

last week i hit by my collegue after praising her face/ skin is beautiful, has very good condition. I was very shocked when she suddenly got mad and hit me NON-STOP and SCREAMED hysterically! then i only came to know there are supertitious ppl who believe in "compliments can spoil"

according to them, once things get praised, it will turn bad. People have such thinking are SUPER sensitive when they heard any praises! well~ i was told by them that "kids cannot be praised-- cannot say they are cute, smart, "gwai", and many many things else. the kids will become "another" kind once u praise them. harvest cannot "praise", if u say good harvest will turn out no harvest..etc oh...face also something they pantang a lot, cannot say pretty, smooth, good condition, gradiant..etc. oh~ my friend even tried to convince me that last time after some facial treatments, she herself accidentally said "skin condition is better now" then the next week she got allergy and face become reddish blah blah blah~

personally i dont know and dont believe in such, but i think may be your parents have that thinking so they always say bad things on your baby. Maybe u can try to understand from them and see what you can do to make them do not critic your baby.

If on baby, i'm quite agree, but if for adult, tak tau pulak ada pantang ni. I thot that we like to be praised.haha... as for baby, they said that we muz said the opposite things. Eg....instead of using pretty, u said ugly. And usually if the bb is ugly and dark ,she will turn pretty and fair when she grow up....juz like my baby. Our confinement lady keep saying that 'ur baby is very beautiful,got big eyes,etc....almost everyday. u know wat? I noticed that my baby become look like malay and darker day by day. After 4 months, when my mum took care my baby. We will praised oppositely and my mum keep saying that 'u r so ugly and look like malay'. Now, my 1 years old baby is fair and many people admire her face and skin. Some people dono the pantang will praised her in front of her that she looks pretty and we juz make dono lor. Pretend not hear. haha..Well, its depends on individual. The best way is not to say anything abt baby in front of the baby. o ya...last time,my in law family praised in front the baby that she's so 'kwai' not crying at all. And that night,she kept crying and make me restless....very hard...to believe or not to? But, sometimes its do happen. So, up to individual to decide. I juz want to share my xperience.

[little angel 0]

Just sharing an example of how what my parents do with my baby affects my HB and me directly.

There was one night (two nights ago, I think) where my baby was awake after a feed (9pm) and my hubby was interacting with her coz she was wide awake. After a while, when her attention started to stray, I suggest to my hubby to put her to sleep instead of keeping her awake, otherwise she'll start to fuss for the next few hours. My mum immediately ask for her and carried her for the next 30 to 45 minutes. My hubby had to keep asking her to let the baby sleep. Only after a while, she came into the room to put the baby down - refused to let my HB take the baby from her and etc. My baby was fussing non-stop after that - she stayed up for three hours when she only fusses for an hour and goes to sleep on her own. Who was the one who had to go through the crying and fussing and all? Me and my HB. My parents? Happily sleeping in the next room.

When I try to talk to them about this, they say I'm fussy and purposely fight with them, that I'm ungrateful because they came all the way to Switzerland to visit me so I should just tahan and let them do whatever they want with my baby coz after they leave, I can "rediscipline" my baby all over again and etc. =.=

I tried explaining to my dad yesterday when my baby was just dozing off to sleep. My dad kept making so many noises and trying to keep the baby awake. Every time my baby's eyes close, he's call her name, make all sorts of sounds and she'll open her eyes again. I shared with him that my baby needs to sleep when it's time to sleep so she'll fuss less at night and my HB & I can rest easier. He pulak went "Never mind la" (in other words, I should let them play with her for hours on end) and then in front of my mum and my HB, say "New mums are always overprotective". WTH. How does me trying to let my baby fall to sleep mean that I'm overprotective?

Sometimes I feel like just disappearing into the master bedroom after 9pm with my baby to avoid them. To be honest, my HB and my baby are the only things keeping me going at this point.

first of all, congratulations for ur newborn and happy parenting for both of u. I juz want to sound my point of view only, doesnt mean to offend anyone. Well, i have gone thru and see situation like this. Sometimes, we, as newparents are really so protective(natural actly...) that others people might think that we are 'cerewet'. Eg. My sis in law. My mum care her drg confinement. She not allowed my nieces to touch her baby, scolded my nieces when they did a little noise, told my mum not to carry her baby after cut meat,etc.... At the end, nobody want to sayang her baby. When her baby cry and she is at toilet, nobody want to care the baby. See, the baby is so pity lor nobody want to sayang him( only when his mum is around). As for my baby, i believed my mum can take a good care of her which she is.She brought 4 of us up and 3 grandchild. So, she is really experience and i put 100% trust on my mum. i don mind people make noise, because i want my baby to get use to the noise,so that, easier to bring her out nxt time. When i brought my bb back by plane. She don even wake up when we landed(loud sound).

Old people know better, especially our parents. As for ur parents, i can see that they sayang ur baby so much that if can, don want to let the baby sleep and keep playing wt her. I know its very hard , but try to bear. Don hurt ur parents. Honestly, now u said that ur baby and hb is keeping u going at this point, but, life is still a long way....u dono when u will need ur parents most. For me,i think that family is still the best of all coz they will not bethray us. And of coz our baby. that why i took my baby wt me. my housemate's mum said that i'm stupid,shud give the baby to x-hubby and get married again. well, will there be a gurantee that my future hubby will treating me well? no. But, my bb is my own blood. no matter how, she will be wt me. That's my opinion only. Of coz different people different view. Once again, congratulations on ur bundle of joy..

[meiteoh 0]

Little Angel, I believe in balance and moderation. I'm not saying that it's bad that my parents are concerned and caring. I would like them to back off a bit and be more understanding about a number of things. Like if my baby needs to sleep, my baby needs to sleep. She's not a toy where you can wake up just like that and toss aside when you're bored or don't want to care for her. She's a human being who tires easily and needs rest in order to grow.

I let people carry my baby, touch her and play with her (heck, I even let my parents watch movies with surround sound hiked up like gila while carrying my baby, vaccum clean the place when my baby is asleep and all). I like to think that I'm not fussy when it comes to how other people interact with my baby - just make sure you wash your hands before you touch her coz that way, you lessen the risk of her catching any germs. But I draw the line when I see that she's tired (yawning and getting restless) and the person still wants to continue playing with her and keep her awake until late at night. It's bad for my baby and subsequently bad for my HB and myself (because we have to stay up to tend to her).

As for the saying that "old people know better, especially our parents" - I am inclined to take it with a pinch of salt. I respect my parents when they give their suggestion(s) - yes, they eat salt more than we eat rice - but how they do things and lived their lives should not be the basis for which me and my HB live ours. Plus how they are and what they say can have an impact on my relationship with my HB...I wish they would see that as well.

[Apekjolly 0]

Yupe, true, old people like to say to the young, "We eat salt more than you eat rice".

If we are nasty enough, we can answer them, " No wonder your brains have become "salted fish".

Ha hah! just joking. Please don't answer them like that.

Now seriously. Sometimes it doesn't mean that older people know better than younger people. It depends of many factors, circumstances, and field of knowledge it is. They may know more when it comes to the general wisdom of life. But they may be far behind in many other fields of knowledge. A parent who knows nothing computer, for instance, also knows nothing about the Internet and all knowledge available within it.

I am lucky to have survived through the "torture and abuse" inflicted on me by the ignorance of my parents in the old days. For example, when I had a fever, they sent me into a small, hot, and stuffy bedroom, closed all windows, and covered me head to toe with a thick blanket to make my body become even hotter till I was drenched in my own sweat. I should have died of suffocation and heat stroke. But the old chaps thought that was a medically smart thing to do to someone who got a fever. Then if I continued to be sick days later, I was prevented from eating vegetables and fruits. They said those things were "too cold" and not good for me. Phew!! Sometimes, I wonder why I am still alive and kicking.

There were many more things, which to me now, show what big idiots they were. But those were the so-called "more salt than rice" knowledge that they had inherited from the "dinausar days" which old people are always bragging about.

But there are a lot of very knowledgable old people around. "Don't play, play" with those who read a lot and keep up with news and times. From across the ocean, they even know what you could be thinking about.